How to survive as a guy

[Jean Paul]

I'll start it off

1. Durning adolescence times and childhood becareful of girls. If you make them mad enough chance enough their gonna try to groin attack you.

2. Never date a girl who knows how to use a gun.

3. IntellIgence rules the world with imagination behind it. USE THEM!

add your own people,but keep the numbers consistant!

 

[snafupants]

Intelligence and creativity are not words which immediately spring to mind when one strolls down the aisles of Walmart, but okay.

 

[Bird]

4) Swallow your pride.

 

[Anthile]

5.) Sooner or later, you're going to die. Use that to your advantage.

 

[AlisaD]

9.) Do not let women in if you want to keep things consistent.

 

[Mello]

10.) Don't forget to put the toilet seat down.

 

[Bird]

11) Eat cake.

 

[Wish]

12.) Don't forget steps 6 - 8

 

[Lostwitheal]

2. Never date a girl who knows how to use a gun.

What if they know how to take them apart and put them back together?

 

[Jennywocky]

2. Never date a girl who knows how to use a gun.

No -- if you really piss us off, we'll use something that prolongs the moment.

(You know, a fileting knife, or a trained pit bull ... or the infamous groin kick and THEN maybe smashing your computer or something.)

5.) Sooner or later, you're going to die. Use that to your advantage.

Congrats, you made me laugh before 7am... that's amazing, considering what a crab I am that early in the day. (If worse goes to worst, I promise to use the gun instead of the pitbull, and your computer will live -- you deserve that much!)

 

[Agent Intellect]

34) Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil's Three-way.

The only thing a guy needs to know to survive is the Bro Code.

 

[SpaceYeti]

35. If a woman's upset, it doesn't mean there's a reason for it.

 

[typus]

36. OGC

 

[₲uardian]

.

 

[dark]

38. Do not piss in the wind, it doesn't like that and will piss back.

 

[CoryJames]

40. It's your fault. Always.

 

[NoID10ts]

Frank T.J. Mackey in "Magnolia":

"Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it's a game, guys. You want to think it's not, huh? You want to think it's not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane. Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who's in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it's universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We... are... men!"


"Men are shit. What? Men... are... *shit*. What, isn't that what they say? Because we do bad things, don't we? We do horrible, heineous, *heinous*, terrible things. Things that no woman would ever do. No, women, they don't lie. No, women don't cheat. Women don't *manipulate* us. But you see what I'm getting at. You see what society does? Little boys, it's, "Wow, womaaaan!" We are taught to apologize. I am sorry. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry. What is it that we need? Is it their pussies? Their love? Mommy wouldn't let me play soccer... and Daddy, he hit me, so that's who I am, that's why I do what I do? Fucking bullshit. I will not apologize for who I am. I will not apologize for what I need. I will not apologize for what I *want*!"

 

[Jean Paul]

50 - Women are easily manipulated if you get to know them........... just watch out for counter manipulation. No do this if you love me does not work damit!

 

[Jean Paul]

51- If your girlfriend has a tatoo , she's likely up for anything.

 

[Jean Paul]

52 - If you don't have looks or intellgent or a good personailty, your fucked in life

 

[Anthile]

53.) Don't be an INTP.
54.) If you happen to be an INTP, repeat step 53.

 

[Jean Paul]

ah crap im screwed

 

[EvilScientist Trainee]

51- If your girlfriend has a tatoo , she's likely up for anything.

*Daydreams*

Oh, that's interesting.

(what number was it?)- Don't show emotions. People will just exploit your weaknesses.

 

[SpaceYeti]

53.) Don't be an INTP.
54.) If you happen to be an INTP, repeat step 53.

Bitter much?

Also; 55. Confidence is key.

 

[Awaken]

Dont be a bitch, make a move.

 

[yes]

just put in effort and your all ready above average.

 

[Zero]

Wow, you have got to be kidding me. QQ Moar.

Christ, this is amazing. Ignorance can't even be avoided I guess. Well w/e- going with it~

Uh, there's a site about classy. After that, just chill and stop stressing and don't up sell yourself- it looks lame.

If all you worry about is how to get a cunt: If you manipulate the bitch and want her to stay put, do what the other dudes do I guess. Marry her, then make her feel bad about herself (she'll be less likely to leave) and then beat the hell out of her when she gets out of hand. Also if you have a kid she'll be less likely to defy you.

Pretty much any relationship you want to keep control over the woman you can make her feel bad and like she won't ever be able to find anyone else to like her.

Also, you're totally full of it if you think being a poor wittle INTP male really makes your confusing. I think the average SF or NF male has more heck to deal with. I mean, I'm so sowwy your life is so hard for you, but you are not fag, freak, pussy or going to a desk job that depletes your soul and you don't know why.

 

[Polaris]

Wrong place, the bitch-slapping thread is here:

Spoiler

http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=8808

 

[Melllvar]

"A man in the company of an attractive woman must never get too drunk to fight."

-Someone else

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

34) Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil's Three-way.

The only thing a guy needs to know to survive is the Bro Code.

What about giving a handjob to your bro in your Devil's threesome? Is that kosher? Does being really drunk excuse that? What about receiving one?

Spoiler

FUCK i might be bisexual

38. Do not piss in the wind, it doesn't like that and will piss back.

Rule 56: And Never whistle while you piss. (You cannot concentrate on both and will probably mess one up.)
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Illuminatus!

Rule 57: When asked about "Creep" in 1993, Yorke said, "I have a real problem being a man in the '90s... Any man with any sensitivity or conscience toward the opposite sex would have a problem. To actually assert yourself in a masculine way without looking like you're in a hard-rock band is a very difficult thing to do... It comes back to the music we write, which is not effeminate, but it's not brutal in its arrogance. It is one of the things I'm always trying: To assert a sexual persona and on the other hand trying desperately to negate it."
link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creep_(Radiohead_song)

 

[SpaceYeti]

Maybe he shouldn't be afraid of his own masculinity. Don't apologize for being who you are.

 

[CoryJames]

Zero sounds like an angry person.

 

[Stoic Beverage]

58.) If all else fails, have a Panic Room.
59.) Don't forget to lock the Panic Room.
60.) Do not leave the key to the Panic Room under a potted plant by the entrance...

 

[Anchorite]

-16.) Always have a drawer full of condoms to show your friends, but never allow them to ask why none ever get opened.

∞.) Don't be afraid to smack a bitch, just don't hurt your hand to the point that you can't jerk off over your condom drawer.

 

[GYX_Kid]

-be physically and genuinely attractive

-use your brains and innate quirks to be smart and interesting

-have some kind of awesome habit or interest

-if you're quiet, you can use that to be 'mysterious' or naturally aloof, instead of appearing shy. just show at least enough interest to keep things going, and make SOME hint

-blunted affect actually works to your advantage, to keep the 'game' lasting longer and to build her up more effectively

-zero tolerance of gay predators. physical force can be appropriate if they touch you in any way, this is a good opportunity to release any suppressed rage you may have

-enjoy nearly raw steak, dark beer, masochistically spicy things, and bizarre interesting foods that make you exquisite

 

[grey matters]

“Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.” Winston Churchill

 

[gnome]

Put a cucumber where your penis is and wear tight fitting jeans.