How not to be perceived arrogant?

[Ink]

How do you make sure people don't perceive you as arrogant just when walking around town?

 

[BigApplePi]

How do you make sure people don't perceive you as arrogant just when walking around town?

Walk with a slow shuffle, head down looking @ the ground arms hanging loosely. Don't know how to test this as you won't be able to see people's facial reactions. Maybe someone has a better idea.

 

[AureliaSeverina]

You can't control people's perception. "Arrogant" is their own interpretation of what they see and they can choose whether that interpretation is correct or not.

 

[Ink]

You can't control people's perception. "Arrogant" is their own interpretation of what they see and they can choose whether that interpretation is correct or not.

Well, it gets anoying when they try to bring you down. Happens so much that I don't want to go out.

 

[BigApplePi]

Well, it gets anoying when they try to bring you down. Happens so much that I don't want to go out.

Can you explain, "bring you down"? Do they openly say it's arrogant as opposed to something else?

 

[Ink]

Can you explain, "bring you down"? Do they openly say it's arrogant as opposed to something else?

Insecure people get jealous of my confidence and start shit talking. I'm 5'10 and only happens with taller guys pretty much.

 

[BigApplePi]

I'm 5'10 also. Taller guys can take advantage. Carry a 3" block with you. If you decide to reply to them, stand on it. They will soon learn you can rise to the occasion.

 

[Ink]

Well american culture is different than mine, you guys aren't supposed to say hi to everyone on the street, over here you're pretty much supposed to do that to fit the norm... I guess I should just move to the US (I have double citizenship so it could happen)...

 

[snafupants]

Well american culture is different than mine, you guys aren't supposed to say hi to everyone on the street, over here you're pretty much supposed to do that to fit the norm... I guess I should just move to the US (I have double citizenship so it could happen)...

Stay out. This is for your own good. Anyway, I consider myself pretty arrogant.

 

[Adamastor]

Apparently people found me really arrogant in the past.
And after they knew me they opinion changed, which is weird because I find my self pretty egocentric and arrogant.

It never bothered me though, because at that time I didn't pay attention to other people. (see? Maybe I was arrogant then )

Well, today I"ve changed quite a bit and put a whole lot of effort at changing my facial expressions, choosing the default words to interact with people at a shallow level and such. Basically I put a whole effort trying to know the rules of default social interaction and put it to use to avoid any misconceptions about myself.

(funny thing: You say to other people you are arrogant and they disagree with you, lol)

I suppose it doesn't happen anymore, but I can't be sure though. ( I'm gonna ask a friend later. That found me a snot, arrogant brat in the past that disgusted him)

 

[Beholder]

I think I'm pretty arrogant, but I also think I do a pretty good job of hiding it. I work hard at it though, I stay quiet in discussions where I know I have nothing to learn - that way I don't end up showing that I'm smarter/more knowledgeable than everyone involved, and I've got nothing to gain anyways. I find that somehow people always think that I'm really smart, and I'm very careful to never say anything about it, but people always ask me questions and stuff.
Every here and there someone will say something about how I "Know everything" or I'm a "Genius" and I smile inside, but pretend to be unfazed...
I'm so awesome... I'm literally in love with myself...

 

[Beholder]

About people thinking you're arrogant because you ignore them, that one's a bit tougher. I think the trick is to be acknowledged as someone who is cold(?) (there isn't really a word for it in English, but in my language we say 'stubborn', which basically means 'unresponsive to people/situations'), once that happens you can just be yourself.

 

[Question Authority]

I do it easily. I'm incredibly timid, so I rarely come off as arrogant. When normally walking, I don't have the experience of seeming arrogant, and when it comes to interacting with people, even when I know I'm right and they're wrong, unless it's something I care about, I'll let them discover that they're wrong for themselves (unless they know they might be wrong, and are coming to me for help on being wrong).

 

[defghi]

What's so bad about people thinking you are arrogant? Arrogant is just a hater's word for confident.

As long as you aren't being outright rude (and you being silent towards people who want to talk is no more rude than them trying to talk to you when you want to be silent) then you have nothing to worry about.

 

[Antediluvian]

One psychologist told me I had severe self-esteem issues. If you knew me, you could emulate that!

Aside from that, by my limited experiences with people, being perceived as arrogant is far superior than being perceived as being wildly insecure. Insecurity is like the scent of blood to voracious wolves. Any person can suffer from it, as well.

 

[Ink]

One psychologist told me I had severe self-esteem issues. If you knew me, you could emulate that!

Aside from that, by my limited experiences with people, being perceived as arrogant is far superior than being perceived as being wildly insecure. Insecurity is like the scent of blood to voracious wolves. Any person can suffer from it, as well.

pro-tip: Buy a hat/cap and you won't feel obliged to make eye contact to every person you walk by -> you can think in privacy under your cap -> you choose who to socialize with and walk up confident -> you attract millions of women -> self-esteem issues solved.

Is this ok to do?

 

[Cognisant]

How do you make sure people don't perceive you as arrogant just when walking around town?

They know me.

It's not arrogance if you simply are better than them

 

[BigApplePi]

I haven't a clue. It might help if you would wear a modest sign imprinted

I am not arrogant or I am arrogant.

That way I can make my own independent decision.

 

[intpz]

Don't correct idiots, don't laugh at idiots, don't let anyone know that you know something, whether they know it or not.

 

[JoanCrawford]

Hello all, I am new here. :-) In regards to your question, I would simply ignore their delusions of arrogance, because they are no better than you are for judging you in such a manner.

 

[Hawkeye]

Unless you walk around with your head up your own arse what's the problem?

You could develop a ridiculous walk. Then people would just think you're weird.

 

[inner_mind]

What's so bad about people thinking you are arrogant? Arrogant is just a hater's word for confident.

No. Not really. Arrogant is thinking you are better than others. Confidence is a belief in yourself. People mix them up. That is the problem.

 

[Etheri]

No. Not really. Arrogant is thinking you are better than others. Confidence is a belief in yourself. People mix them up. That is the problem.

^This is true. I don't think i'm capable of much. I do however, keep being astonished by how incredibly stupid other people can be. I'll often find that i'm arrogent (atleast in my inner thinking), despite often being insecure. Sometimes I value other people even less than myself, arrogance it is.

 

[Brontosaurie]

be critical of yourself above anyone else, don't say too much about yourself and when you do make sure you're not really expecting any response.

 

[BigApplePi]

No. Not really. Arrogant is thinking you are better than others. Confidence is a belief in yourself. People mix them up. That is the problem.

If a carpenter thinks himself better at carpentry than the average person (others), does that make him arrogant?

 

[Hawkeye]

If a carpenter thinks himself better at carpentry than the average person (others), does that make him arrogant?

Yes and no.

It depends on the perspective.

If he thinks he is better due to the experience he has accumulated; he is confident.

If he thinks he is better simply because he's awesome; he is arrogant.

 

[Brontosaurie]

he thinks he is better simply because he's awesome

 

[Vladimir]

A few years ago when I was like 12, my mother told me that "I walk as if my **** doesn't smell." I was shocked, because I did not see myself as arrogant, so I began to walk with my head down, looking at the floor. Now I hunch a lot of the time, and it may do some structural damage in the next 100 years, should I live that long.

 

[Etheri]

A few years ago when I was like 12, my mother told me that "I walk as if my **** doesn't smell." I was shocked, because I did not see myself as arrogant, so I began to walk with my head down, looking at the floor.

I find i often walk with my head low. First of all, when there's fun tiles, you gotta watch on which ones you're stepping. It's important.
More often, however, it's just to not give people an incentive to start talking to me. To leave me to my thoughts. Avoidant? Perhaps. I'm not always like this, but often i'll just walk around, head low, sinking deep into my own thoughts. I like going for walks. It clears my mind and gives me space to think. People shouldn't bother me while I do that.

 

[intpz]

@Etheri A bulb has just lighten up in my head - a good idea for a new topic.

 

[Paws]

A few years ago when I was like 12, my mother told me that "I walk as if my **** doesn't smell." I was shocked, because I did not see myself as arrogant, so I began to walk with my head down, looking at the floor..

I wonder what on Earth could have made your mother come up with a remark like that. Was she annoyed with you for some (real) reason? People sometimes make snotty personal remarks when they are unable to deal with the real issue behind their anger (it might even be something that has nothing to do with you).

Please don't ruin your good posture just because she couldn't handle her emotions very well at the time You shouldn't carry the weight of her words on your shoulders for the rest of your life.

 

[Vladimir]

I wonder what on Earth could have made your mother come up with a remark like that. Was she annoyed with you for some (real) reason? People sometimes make snotty personal remarks when they are unable to deal with the real issue behind their anger (it might even be something that has nothing to do with you).

Please don't ruin your good posture just because she couldn't handle her emotions very well at the time You shouldn't carry the weight of her words on your shoulders for the rest of your life.

Lol I love my mom, and I remember clearly that it was not with malice she said that, more like she was teasing me. Also she is Ukrainian, and at the time did not know that "***" is a curse word. I do not swear, and neither does anyone in my family, mostly because I'm from a Christian family and personally think that swearing really isn't ever necessary. I think that people mostly swear for attention, or maybe just out of habit. Maybe they want to disrupt that status quo.

As for my reaction... I see pride as an intense emotion that very often prevents the logical course of action, and I thought the same back then. I tried to humble myself so that I could always make the correct and utilitarian decision. Or so I say now, I guess I may never know for sure. I'm still taller than 99% of the people I see daily, even if I occasionally hunch.