How many times have you cried?

[meanbluepanda]

This came to my mind the other day, after thinking about something that would lead me to cry(a crazy scenario that would never happen). Anyway I started counting how many times I've cried in my life. The number I came to was 9 times, now I am 16 right now, this is a pretty low number I think.Then I moved on to thinking why I cried those 9 times, and I found out that it was always due to either.
1- loss of a pet.
2- severe physical pain.

Now am curious how many times do you remember crying and what was the cause for it. It would be better to state your age if you are comfortable with that.

 

[Jennywocky]

This came to my mind the other day, after thinking about something that would lead me to cry(a crazy scenario that would never happen). Anyway I started counting how many times I've cried in my life. The number I came to was 9 times, now I am 16 right now, this is a pretty low number I think.Then I moved on to thinking why I cried those 9 times, and I found out that it was always due to either.
1- loss of a pet.
2- severe physical pain.

Now am curious how many times do you remember crying and what was the cause for it. It would be better to state your age if you are comfortable with that.

I'm 45 now. In my first 25 years, I cried very little. I remember not crying when my grandfather died; however, I bawled when I lost the spelling bee in sixth grade. I never cried over physical pain, I was as stoic as they come; I could have had my leg chewed off and unless you could see me, you wouldn't know I was hurting.

Overall, if it was something that really meant a lot to me, I'd cry; but that did not happen very often at all. I *would* cry over art, though -- music, movies, anything I found evocative and that could reach me. I kind of lived any emotional life I had vicariously through art.

I changed a lot in middle age and also felt closer to people IRL and also felt more empathy. I also "allowed" myself to feel emotions and live more in my physical body. That brought with it more emotional responses, which was both liberating as well as unsettling. I can't say I cry a ton now, but I do cry more than I used to. I also cry on occasion when I am super-stressed, and a minute later I feel better. I consider crying a release valve of sorts.

 

[meanbluepanda]

Re: How many times have your cried?

I'm 45 now. In my first 25 years, I cried very little. I remember not crying when my grandfather died; however, I bawled when I lost the spelling bee in sixth grade. I never cried over physical pain, I was as stoic as they come; I could have had my leg chewed off and unless you could see me, you wouldn't know I was hurting.

Overall, if it was something that really meant a lot to me, I'd cry; but that did not happen very often at all. I *would* cry over art, though -- music, movies, anything I found evocative and that could reach me. I kind of lived any emotional life I had vicariously through art.

I changed a lot in middle age and also felt closer to people IRL and also felt more empathy. I also "allowed" myself to feel emotions and live more in my physical body. That brought with it more emotional responses, which was both liberating as well as unsettling. I can't say I cry a ton now, but I do cry more than I used to. I also cry on occasion when I am super-stressed, and a minute later I feel better. I consider crying a release valve of sorts.

Emotions in general are weird for me, I don't know how to explain it. I feel emotions, but at the same time I don't. I am still trying to remember what I was thinking, I had a perfect explanation but it's gone now. The best way I can explain it is: I don't think I feel something, when I actually do.

PS: How the hell do I change the your in the title, I can't believe I didn't double check the title.

 

[Grayman]

Re: How many times have your cried?

Your are still young...

I cried when my mother attempted suicide
When my older sister took a bunch of pills to end the pain but failed
When my younger sister cut herself to deal with her own pain
When my step father ran out with a knife naked and my mother chasing him saying he was trying to kill himself (he was also an alcoholic)
When my mother tried to kill herself again
When I dumped the girl I had told I loved because I felt guilty when I realized I didn't really love her (I think it was a week or 2 after my mother attempted suicide again) I decided to change my life and focus on school instead of girls
When my only friend in 8th grade killed himself (I was really antisocial)
When my mother attempted suicide a third time, I did not cry this time I felt like she was inconveniencing me to have to go see her and pretend to care.
When my friend was murdered by his roomate
When my new wife asked for a divorce
When she asked for it again
When she asked for it a third time I told her to fucking leave or never say it again(She stayed and grew up)
When I lost my faith
At counselling when I talked about how my mother doesn't call me but maybe once a year or every other year.
At some point when I turned 24 I only cried if I really tried to, generally when people would expect it.

Until recently at 28, a year or less ago my boss committed suicide. It wasn't about him that I went all crazy but I lost connection with my emotions completely and shut out everyone until my wife broke me out of it and then I cried.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

Re: How many times have your cried?

Your are still young...

I cried when my mother attempted suicide
When my older sister took a bunch of pills to end the pain but failed
When my younger sister cut herself to deal with her own pain
When my step father ran out with a knife naked and my mother chasing him saying he was trying to kill himself (he was also an alcoholic)
When my mother tried to kill herself again
When I dumped the girl I had told I loved because I felt guilty when I realized I didn't really love her (I think it was a week or 2 after my mother attempted suicide again) I decided to change my life and focus on school instead of girls
When my only friend in 8th grade killed himself (I was really antisocial)
When my mother attempted suicide a third time, I did not cry this time I felt like she was inconveniencing me to have to go see her and pretend to care.
When my friend was murdered by his roomate
When my new wife asked for a divorce
When she asked for it again
When she asked for it a third time I told her to fucking leave or never say it again(She stayed and grew up)
When I lost my faith
At counselling when I talked about how my mother doesn't call me but maybe once a year or every other year.
At some point when I turned 24 I only cried if I really tried to, generally when people would expect it.

Until recently at 28, a year or less ago my boss committed suicide. It wasn't about him that I went all crazy but I lost connection with my emotions completely and shut out everyone until my wife broke me out of it and then I cried.

DAMN Grayman! You've had death, loss and trauma as much as someone gone to war. I admire your resilience and determination to live on as best you can. *hugs*

 

[dark+matters]

Re: How many times have your cried?

DAMN Grayman! You've had death, loss and trauma as much as someone gone to war. I admire your resilience and determination to live on as best you can. *hugs*

I second that.

 

[Pyropyro]

Re: How many times have your cried?

I cry a lot due to war or historical dramas (heck even even the Charge of the Light Brigade poem made me shed a tear) but crying for IRL stuff, not so much.

 

[dark+matters]

Re: How many times have your cried?

I was super stoic and completely, totally out of touch with my feelings as a kid and pre-teen, but fell into several severe depressions as I got older and had to start being more aware that I had a lot of feelings that used to just seem numb and in the background before. Now, I either cry all the time or have no problem crying when I really feel like I need to. I feel as though I'm getting in touch with something powerful and ultimately cleansing or rebirthing when I do cry, but it's still quite painful, and I often (or usually) do things I regret when I'm in the grip of too much Fi.

I think it's interesting that there isn't a crying smiley included in the reply boxes on this forum! I remember crying used to seem like the most horrible, humiliating thing in the world when I was a kid (and had far fewer of the NF traits that I think I absorbed from all the NF friends I made as a teenager). I don't at all see crying or emoting like that anymore.

Ironically, now, my femaleness and my INFP persona and more INTP-like nature often clash and result in people either accusing me of being "calculating," or "cold," or thinking I'm a child or an airhead, or they mix the two into "manipulative" or "crazy" since I enjoy listening to and analyzing how people act and feel and why, and I may pick up on more things than they had realized at the time.

Or conversely, I might get comfortable and go into a lot of detail about a topic of interest and express my truer opinions (which are not very idealistic), but when it's compared to the NF aura I tend to project, it doesn't seem to mesh with people's expectations and becomes off-putting.

 

[ddspada]

Re: How many times have your cried?

I was super stoic and completely, totally out of touch with my feelings as a kid and pre-teen [...] Now, I either cry all the time or have no problem crying when I really feel like I need to.

The opposite happened to me. I was kind of a crybaby until about 10 or 11yo. I was extremely uncomfortable with any amount of emotional tension.

My second year of high school was a mess. I had next to no time to myself, was taking all AP classes, was working during the afternoons, hormones were hitting me like a truck. I developed rather unhealthy (in retrospect) relationships with an ISFP and an ENFP (both of them girls). During a six-month period, I was crying -- sobbing -- up to an hour per week, and often in the intimate presence of either of them.

Now, I cry very little. I suppose I must cry somewhere in between 10 and 30 minutes per year, and I'm more than OK with that. The last time I cried was watching the movie 12 years a slave.

 

[meanbluepanda]

It's interesting how may of you cry over movies poems and such. The only time a movie has made me cry was bridge to terabithea ,and it was literally 1 tear. Other than that all a movie or a show ever get out of me is getting my eyes to hurt a little. That's very strange when it happens, it's almost like I want to cry ,but something is stopping me.

 

[Direwolf]

I havent truly cried since my grandfather died. That was 6 years ago.
Its not to say i havent had reasons
Brother tried to drown himself twice, cut himself twice and had these narcaleptic like fits, that were all together traumatic for parties involved. His depression started constant arguing, bickering, crying (mum) and fights.
Found out dad had cancer for 10 years. Quite surprised about that.
Other grandfather died.


I didnt shed a tear at any of these.
Does that make me a bad person or monster?


I know i should have cried but it felt like something wasnt letting me.

 

[BrainVessel]

I make myself fake-cry 1-2 times a month for some sort of emotional release and it just helps me feel less low, I guess. It's not real crying, I don't feel sad or feel the need to cry, after I do it I just feel refreshed.

When people around me are crying I tend to start feeling tears coming. I don't feel sad but I think I just have underdeveloped/overactive Fe and it makes me look uber empathetic when I really feel nothing but the urge to run away from the situation because it makes me uncomfortable. It's made people like me more and gotten me out of punishments though, ha.

The only times I remember crying because of an emotional need was over the loss of a pet or because I felt hopelessly isolated/inferior which would probably add up to under 10 times.
Non-genuine crying 100+.

 

[Jennywocky]

Re: How many times have your cried?

Emotions in general are weird for me, I don't know how to explain it. I feel emotions, but at the same time I don't. I am still trying to remember what I was thinking, I had a perfect explanation but it's gone now. The best way I can explain it is: I don't think I feel something, when I actually do.

I think there's a difference between experiencing emotion and being able to examine, understand, and articulate emotion. (Some people have this with ideas -- they have an idea in their head but can't define it or explain it to another person.) It's a type of "smarts" that you can become better at. But with people who feel uncomfortable with emotions, what usually happens is that they get ignored or stuffed; and since emotions go through bio channels, you can train yourself to suppress the expression and experience of them even when you still "feel" certain things.

Sometimes suppression occurs out of survival needs, so people have to find a same space later in life where they can let themselves consciously "experience" the emotions without fear of having them permanently impact the person's life. The more you let yourself experience them consciously, the more you can sift through them and get used to dealing with them even when you feel them.

I didn't really gain any kind of emotional awareness (aside from safe areas like "art") until I was under a lot of pressure and could no longer suppress. At that point, i realized I couldn't control the emotions when they'd come out; I also reached a point where i didn't see them as an enemy but something that could help me feel more alive and engage others, so I had to let myself experience them and then work through what they meant.

 

[Coolydudey]

Re: How many times have your cried?

Your are still young...

I cried when my mother attempted suicide
When my older sister took a bunch of pills to end the pain but failed
When my younger sister cut herself to deal with her own pain
When my step father ran out with a knife naked and my mother chasing him saying he was trying to kill himself (he was also an alcoholic)
When my mother tried to kill herself again
When I dumped the girl I had told I loved because I felt guilty when I realized I didn't really love her (I think it was a week or 2 after my mother attempted suicide again) I decided to change my life and focus on school instead of girls
When my only friend in 8th grade killed himself (I was really antisocial)
When my mother attempted suicide a third time, I did not cry this time I felt like she was inconveniencing me to have to go see her and pretend to care.
When my friend was murdered by his roomate
When my new wife asked for a divorce
When she asked for it again
When she asked for it a third time I told her to fucking leave or never say it again(She stayed and grew up)
When I lost my faith
At counselling when I talked about how my mother doesn't call me but maybe once a year or every other year.
At some point when I turned 24 I only cried if I really tried to, generally when people would expect it.

Until recently at 28, a year or less ago my boss committed suicide. It wasn't about him that I went all crazy but I lost connection with my emotions completely and shut out everyone until my wife broke me out of it and then I cried.

Respect.

 

[dark+matters]

I havent truly cried since my grandfather died. That was 6 years ago.
Its not to say i havent had reasons
Brother tried to drown himself twice, cut himself twice and had these narcaleptic like fits, that were all together traumatic for parties involved. His depression started constant arguing, bickering, crying (mum) and fights.
Found out dad had cancer for 10 years. Quite surprised about that.
Other grandfather died.


I didnt shed a tear at any of these.
Does that make me a bad person or monster?


I know i should have cried but it felt like something wasnt letting me.

No, I don't think it makes someone a bad person or a monster to... either cry or not cry. Everyone grieves and experiences life in their own unique way according to all kinds of totally morally neutral factors. It wouldn't be reasonable for people to expect you to have the same exact emotional response to something they would, when you and they are not living in the same chemical soup.

 

[dark+matters]

No, I don't think it makes someone a bad person or a monster to... either cry or not cry. Everyone grieves and experiences life in their own unique way according to all kinds of totally morally neutral factors. It wouldn't be reasonable for people to expect you to have the same exact emotional response to something they would, when you and they are not living in the same chemical soup.

I wanted to clarify that last sentence- I'm not trying to over-divide people, which could lead to justification for exclusion, fantasies of genetic superiority, etc.

 

[Direwolf]

Thanks dark matters.
I second cooldudey, you have my respect grayman.

 

[Architect]

I'm 45 now.

Shit JW is an old fart like me.

I haven't had a real bawl in, like decades*. I get teary and choked up at sappy parts of movies and such. Feels good.

* No I take that back, I did when my sister and mother died.

 

[RaBind]

Shit JW is an old fart like me.

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwPcQhmLXPU

Not a old fuck?

I used to cry a lot when I was young. Most of the crying I've done is out of anger or frustration. I do get a little teary eyed with sad movies and stories though.

 

[ChouMasamori]

This came to my mind the other day, after thinking about something that would lead me to cry(a crazy scenario that would never happen). Anyway I started counting how many times I've cried in my life. The number I came to was 9 times, now I am 16 right now, this is a pretty low number I think.Then I moved on to thinking why I cried those 9 times, and I found out that it was always due to either.
1- loss of a pet.
2- severe physical pain.

Now am curious how many times do you remember crying and what was the cause for it. It would be better to state your age if you are comfortable with that.

I never count it, but it mostly come from mental image. when i saw utterly ridiculously sad scene, or when i'm really emotional. Be it mad or sad. I wouldn't really call this crying as my face is same as ever. only the liquid come from my eyes.