How do you react to idiots

[Tannhauser]

I'm using the term "idiot" here but you can call it whatever you want. "uncivilized" might be another similar description.

Here is what I mean: living in a city, I see people doing dipshit sort of things all the time. For example people sitting in seats reserved for the elderly on the tram, people dropping trash right on the pavement, people being loud and obnoxious in public places, stuff like that.

I feel like telling these people that they are behaving like dipshits, but on the other hand I think to myself: am I gonna be that person who is lecturing random people in the street? And what would be the point of that – the world is filled with stupid people. It seems better to just ignore it completely and not waste any emotional energy on it. But that seems to imply that you accept, to some degree, this bullshit behavior. And that's just another layer of emotional discomfort..

I am curious about your thoughts on this, whether you have faced similar situations, and how you generally react to that kind of people.

 

[Sinny91]

Lol, I read the thread title and thought "That's got to be Tan" .. lo and behold.

I've been guilty of all those things at sometime or another.

But if there's a bin nearby ill use it.. if not.. *shrugs*
I'll use the elderly seats, but i'll give it up just as quick..
I hate loud obnoxious people, but I have been one..

*Shrugs*

What you gunna do about it? Lecture me?
Go ahead, it might make you feel better, and I won't hold it against you.

But it will mostly go over my head.

I wish the council would put out more bins. I wish we had more litter pickers.

Id litter pick... if I got paid for it. I like to see a job done right.

How have we got money for bombs and drones, and castles and entertainment shows, but not for litter pickers?!

Pfft. I hate seeing society lead by delusional sociopaths.

I ask you, what can be done about the delusional sociopaths controlling our societies?

 

[Tannhauser]

I wish the council would put out more bins. I wish we had more litter pickers.

yeah for UK people the litter thing can be ignored. Every time I go to London I feel like all the trash bins have been removed as a prank or something.

 

[Creeping Death]

Depends on the situation. I will publicly scold people when I observe douchy behavior, but won't go too out of my way to ridicule them.
If there are idiots in your private life who aren't random people on the street, you must relocate them.

 

[Turnevies]

Tough issue

In theory, I am a fan of holding a socratic debate.

In practice, true idiots typically cannot be cured or don't even want to be cured, which is maybe what makes them idiots in the first place.

 

[Rixus]

Pfft. I hate seeing society lead by delusional sociopaths.

I ask you, what can be done about the delusional sociopaths controlling our societies?

Very little, really. My theory is that someone who seeks power and does whatever they have to do to get there is generally gonna be quite psychopathic. There are exceptions, obviously. So until there's a radical change of system I doubt it'll be any different. I wonder sometimes if the world is changing thanks to the way the internet has worked out. Maybe that's why Brexit and Trump happened as people just said, "screw it," and threw some spanners in.

On the other hand, it's outside of my sphere of control so it doesn't really bother me that much.

 

[Sinny91]

Of course, the Welsh have always been passive

 

[Rixus]

Probably shouldn't say that publicly in Wales. For me, it depends if it's something I can control. The problem is knowing the different - and that can drive you crazy.

 

[Procinogen]

Those kind of people just kind of make me dislike people even more.

 

[crippli]

As usual, I feel an urge to pick them apart, psycologically of course, as pysically would be illigal and less fun. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Justifying that non action with something along the lines of letting them drown drown on their own in their stupidity.

It should be said that I have a high threashold for idiocy. But now and then someone manage to get themselves labeled.

If there are idiots in your private life who aren't random people on the street, you must relocate them.

QFT

 

[Pizzabeak]

Get mad at them, obviously? Sounds like you aren't thinking this all the way through.
And it sounds like something an ENTP would take up in protest.
Obviously, you should do something about it if it upsets you so, otherwise this thread is worthless and you don't actually care. Because, if you do want to make a difference a post is one way to bring awareness but you shouldn't be concerned with wasting "emotional energy". Or, maybe you should.

 

[Hadoblado]

Ignore them, or if I know them, emulate them.

 

[Absurdity]

Re-realize that I am a simian of dubious worth who will someday certainly die.

 

[nanook]

I don't react. On a good day. I am constructive and simply ignorant of that which does not lend itself to be a part of construction. Care to join or get lost. Not to imply that i am particularly efficient at being constructive. But i care for what is good and ignore the bad.

The city is idiocy. The technology destroys the planet, the food industry destroys the human physiology, the workplace destroys the human psyche, the education system destroys intelligence, the media destroys human spirt. I ignore the city and am not particularly bothered by details like dirt on the street.

But occasionally ... like this little boy who, despite owing a skateboard himself, throws a thousand little pebble stones all over the concrete plaza, that he had collected in the belly area of his tshirt, unconsciously acting as if he were a farmer sowing seeds onto a field [consciously rendering the plaza unskateable "because I can and fuck you!"] ... part of me wants to lecture him about how seeds are birdfood and humans are frugivore, part of me wants to rip his fucking head off and play football

 

[420MuNkEy]

It depends entirely on the social context. If someone is behaving like an idiot at a gun range, for example, I would alert the range master because that person is a danger to more than just themselves. If I overhear someone out in the world talking about how acupuncture "cured" their cancer, however, I tend to just disregard it. If discussion is appropriate in the context, I'll give my full, honest, and unbridled opinion, making no effort to coddle their feelings (which can lead to things like being assaulted, removed, ostracized/insulted, or banished).

Very rarely will I impose myself on someone else unless their stupidity is manifesting itself in such a way that's likely to directly harm myself or others.

 

[IndigoViolet11]

Always bring earplugs. The mp3 one will do its job. Then turn on some music. If not working, leave the scene. Empathy is colder nowadays because there are people in this world who muck up the others, as the coldness spreads this way. Before it is fixed (in places like China) there is nothing we can do.

 

[WhatWasThat]

Tough issue

In theory, I am a fan of holding a socratic debate.

In practice, true idiots typically cannot be cured or don't even want to be cured, which is maybe what makes them idiots in the first place.

Yeah this is the problem. If it is someone you know and you actually think you can "get through" to them and possibly make them reconsider their actions/viewpoints then it may be worth the effort, but that sadly isn't the case for a true idiot.

Unless it is something blatantly dangerous/harmful it's probably best to just stay out of it when it comes to random strangers. What is the best that can happen? If someone actually asks my opinion on something I am forthright about it (even if it's going to "offend" them) but I don't offer it up to people who aren't going to be swayed by it anyway.

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

by becoming a dysfunctional recluse

 

[Seteleechete]

by becoming a dysfunctional recluse

^ Though I often wonder if that doesn't make me the biggest idiot of them all.

Actually nvm this statement is misleading. I have different reasons than some other people of the kind I never interact with anyway.

 

[Minuend]

Re-realize that I am a simian of dubious worth who will someday certainly die.

and

by becoming a dysfunctional recluse

 

[QuickTwist]

I'm a piece of shit. Kinda hard to blame other people for the same thing.

 

[cheese]

Spoiler

Self-hatred. Spend 10 minutes yelling at the person in my head. Spend the rest of the day heaping bile on myself for being just as idiotic. Why do I get hung up on shitty behaviour when I know it's out there all the time anyway? Why do I judge so harshly when I'm pretty shitty myself? Why do I judge at all when I know I don't know the full story behind that tiny and unfortunately ugly 15-second glimpse into their life? I conclude the event with a reinforcement of depression, having once again been reminded that everything in the world is fucked and I only make things worse by existing.

*edited
Unnecessarily dark whoops. It *is* how I react to it most of the time, but sometimes I can let it go, or look into my reaction and understand what it is that I feel so negatively about. When this mechanism is operating properly in me, it gives me a bit of insight into myself and interpersonal relations.

I wish I didn't get so pissed off at things. Because of this disadvantage, my greatest contribution to the world seems to be my ability to keep from saying all the shit I think. If I didn't start at such a handicap, my herculean efforts might actually get somewhere. I put a lot of work into at least trying not to add to the shit that's already in the world, but honestly most of the time I'm a curmudgeonly prick.

I think it's important to stand up for what you think is right too, because cultures evolve - whatever isn't pruned out survives, and unpleasant/shitty behaviour tends to be more dominant and thus dominates the cultural script over time. You see this as forums evolve (actually this is a thread I've been meaning to make) - they start cosy and nice and well-meaning, and people call each other out on their shitty behaviour. But eventually an incendiary element trickles in, light trolling becomes stylish, and getting pissed off becomes uncool and shows you're not in on the joke, so people avoid speaking up. Caring/emotional investment eventually becomes uncool too, so people avoid it. People get up to all sorts of rhetorical sleight-of-hand to uphold this impression - the more upset you get, the more obviously illegitimate your upset is, duh. And of course the belligerent, mocking, obnoxious people are the loudest, so their voices are heard the most, and in a culture of shackles and self-shaming, these voices shape discourse by default, and the culture grows colder and colder.

I do believe each person can make a difference, not just in the way each vote can make a difference (emergent phenomenon) but in a direct, person-to-person way.

Still, I remain irritated and irritating, and thus hold myself to standards pathetic enough to keep me from wanting to die so I might not destroy my family.

Hahaha, this was a terrible salvage attempt!

tldr:
Hate them in my head, then get on with my general hate and try to inject a bit of good feels in any crevice I can find.

 

[Bad Itch]

Self-hatred. Spend 10 minutes yelling at the person in my head. Spend the rest of the day heaping bile on myself for being just as idiotic. Why do I get hung up on shitty behaviour when I know it's out there all the time anyway? Why do I judge so harshly when I'm pretty shitty myself? Why do I judge at all when I know I don't know the full story behind that tiny and unfortunately ugly 15-second glimpse into their life? I conclude the event with a reinforcement of depression, having once again been reminded that everything in the world is fucked and I only make things worse by existing.

This. Mostly.

 

[QuickTwist]

This. Mostly.

Kinda hard to disagree.

 

[Clearleaf]

It's really hard to know when it's appropriate to tell someone to knock something off, or even try to correct them on something. Pedantic and over-critical people are as ignored as they are annoying, so I find it impossible to know what to do in these situations when every individual on Earth has a different tolerance for being told they're wrong about something. It's especially tough on days when I have no confidence in my own thoughts and have doubts that other people are even perceiving the same reality that I am. Lately I just wish circumstances upon them that will set them straight because nobody seems to listen to anybody else. You can pick up garbage off the ground and give your own seat to an infirm, but I don't think it's possible to change people unless they really REALLY respect you. The way I make myself feel better about it is remembering that horrible things are always happening whether I witness them or not, so getting mad or sad just because I saw something makes no sense. At least that's what I try to do.

 

[Rixus]

I've always felt the same way, Clearleaf. The odd thing is, I've noticed that eventually you learn that others actually think the same way about this person and they to didn't say anything. There's a guy in work who is so dammed obnoxious I want him to just disappear. And it always confounded me that no one else feels the same way. It turns out they do, but everyone is too polite to say anything. Is it my job? No. But I've learned how to countermand his crudeness with equal and ingenious crudeness with a dry tone that makes him leave as he doesn't like being outmatched.

For example, he kept calling everyone by their first name followed by "Saville" thinking it was funny. I didn't agree - that's fucking disgusting. So I creatively added Saville to the middle of his name and told him he would be known by this from now on. He STFU and left thank God. He doesn't like me. But fuck him; he's an ass. He thinks I'm a psychopath who's gonna explode one day and kill him and everyone else. I am not, and will not. But he's welcome to think that as long as he STFUs and goes back to his own office.

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

My general strategy for this is demonstration. Pick up their trash in front of them in silence. Elderly person gets on bus: give up own seat, and if already standing, ask whoever's in the elderly seat to give up theirs. Using the seats by itslelf doesn't bother me. Why stand in the absence of an elderly designee when you can sit? Nuance.

But yeah, this usually does address the emotional thing, it's not as direct and combative as a lecture, it actually accomplishes something, and it sets an example for third party onlookers.

Got nothing on the noise in public places thing though. Social rules generally only allow you to correct your own immediate family/friends/party. Appeal to designated authority (complain to the manager/security guard/etc) is usually what's used in that case. Doesn't usually teach the offender as much as it helps out everyone who has to listen to them,, but at least they're reminded of larger social convention and their agency has a chance.

It's really hard to know when it's appropriate to tell someone to knock something off, or even try to correct them on something. Pedantic and over-critical people are as ignored as they are annoying, so I find it impossible to know what to do in these situations when every individual on Earth has a different tolerance for being told they're wrong about something. It's especially tough on days when I have no confidence in my own thoughts and have doubts that other people are even perceiving the same reality that I am. Lately I just wish circumstances upon them that will set them straight because nobody seems to listen to anybody else. You can pick up garbage off the ground and give your own seat to an infirm, but I don't think it's possible to change people unless they really REALLY respect you. The way I make myself feel better about it is remembering that horrible things are always happening whether I witness them or not, so getting mad or sad just because I saw something makes no sense. At least that's what I try to do.

The appropriateness question is answered by one's value structure. If someone finds themselves thinking about this sort of thing, it's obviously something that violates their values. That's where the associated emotion comes from.

The simple solution is to do it every time that feeling arises. Doesn't sound fun, at least at first, because it's not. But it provides an opportunity for conflict, which can change your values, making your own process of standing up for them more efficient, or change theirs, which means you and peers are likely to be less annoyed in the future. You'll then have identified a hierarchy based on the values that are most important to you and most successfully stood up for. This further makes your process more efficient, because it allows you to sacrifice lower values for higher ones. This is where you derive sustained confidence in your own thoughts.

What you're doing in pink is nice little mix of rationalizing and some sort of appeal to magic. I don't mind it, just recognize it for what it is.

Re-realize that I am a simian of dubious worth who will someday certainly die.

Nigga, your worth is self-imposed.

 

[Sinny91]

I've always felt the same way, Clearleaf. The odd thing is, I've noticed that eventually you learn that others actually think the same way about this person and they to didn't say anything. There's a guy in work who is so dammed obnoxious I want him to just disappear. And it always confounded me that no one else feels the same way. It turns out they do, but everyone is too polite to say anything. Is it my job? No. But I've learned how to countermand his crudeness with equal and ingenious crudeness with a dry tone that makes him leave as he doesn't like being outmatched.

For example, he kept calling everyone by their first name followed by "Saville"

Ha! I just lolled hard.

thinking it was funny.

Yea a few years ago in the pub there were a couple of wind up merchants always craicin Savile jokes, and they really grated on me.

I guess I'm finally lightening up on the matter.

Maybe, I dunno .

I didn't agree - that's fucking disgusting. So I creatively added Saville to the middle of his name and told him he would be known by this from now on. He STFU and left thank God. He doesn't like me. But fuck him; he's an ass. He thinks I'm a psychopath who's gonna explode one day and kill him and everyone else. I am not, and will not. But he's welcome to think that as long as he STFUs and goes back to his own office.

 

[Rixus]

Ha! I just lolled hard.



Yea a few years ago in the pub there were a couple of wind up merchants always craicin Savile jokes, and they really grated on me.

I guess I'm finally lightening up on the matter.

Maybe, I dunno .

I know humour is how humans deal with uncomfortable situations and feelings, but I just feel some things aren't on the list of subjects. It was because I'd called Ricky Saville at least five times in one day - let go of the bone, like. Turning the joke on him was quite mild, really. Wasn't the best example, I suppose.