How do you feel about children?

[meanbluepanda]

I honestly hate children, and I don't mean babies I mean young children who can walk talk. I find their stupidity unbelievable annoying, most poeple say oh he's just a kid, but it's not an excuse for me. I get very frustrated with their stupidity, and constant questions. Even when I watch an anime, and there are stupid kids in it I mostly skip the episode.

Now I have been thinking, if I ever have children of my own. Will i feel the same way, and be unable to stand them, or will I love them because they're my own? I'd love to hear what you think.

Sorry if my grammar is bad i tried my best english isn't my 1st language.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I have never wanted children

I despise them, for the most part (mostly because they aren't adults <- and even some adults are still children)

They require (too) much attention <- this is what's annoying

I might get one of those cheap vasectomies (http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=14955&highlight=vasectomy)

I hold to the truth that I never was one <- I went from an infant to psychological puberty to psychological adulthood


<insert funny link about how people congratulate other people on having children, but the physical process of "having a child" is ... nothing special whatsoever, CollegeHumor perhaps?>

"wow, you inserted your penis inside a vagina and ejaculated, then waited 9 months" ... congratulations


tangents: <too furious at how many people do drugs (nicotine, alcohol, etc) while having children> <- they should be murdered


I have no affinity whatsoever, for caring for a non-fully-developed-adult-human-being-yet

 

[meanbluepanda]

Oh yes your post reminded me of another thing. I hate how you have to fake excitement when a kid does something SO STUPID. I say this because I have a nephew who's 3 years old, and is very irritating.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I don't fucking want to see pictures of your kids.

There are mindless teenagers that can accomplish the same thing.

Turn on the TV and watch TeenageMom

If the highlight of your life is having kids(AKA BASIC FUCKING HUMAN REPRODUCTION), then I probably don't want to converse with you anyway


I don't fucking "AWWWWWWW," when babies in strollers pass by, although the girls(generalizing, but a LOT DO) around you do <- I'm fucking disgusted by those creatures unable to care for themselves, fucking parasites.

NO I DON'T WANT to hold your fucking newborn infant in my arms

[bimgx=400]http://cdnpix.com/show/200902833347893928_wQDG0FPi_c.jpg[/bimgx][bimgx=200]http://www.simonfamilyjcc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/canstockphoto7407765.jpg[/bimgx]​

Regarding aesthetics, THE FIRST IS INFINITELY CUTER.

ACTUALLY I'M WRONG, The Second is actually UGLY, and doesn't have a modicum of CUTENESS.


OH AND<- you fucking cunts that want a miniature you walking around! You had better have fucking PERFECTED YOURSELF FIRST YOU CUNTS!


//before anyone steps in,

no, having children doesn't FREAK me out, I just fucking despise what they require, basic rudimentary attention <- and A LOT OF IT, children or infants in no way "freak me out" <- as they do some people



I don't count the ones "mature" enough as children <- because:

"you're acting like such a child"
"you're acting like such an infant"

is a very common insult.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I like children, ones that are curious and mature enough to endure a conversation and be interested in the world, ones that don't know what is profitable and are not yet bound by the idea of selling and buying.

I cannot stand noisy and destructive gammas, be it in miniature or adult.

Some interactions I might enjoy and actively participate in, while escaping other parts.

Yes I am simplifying.

 

[Cognisant]

People who can't stand children are themselves children in my opinion, which is not to say you have to mindlessly put up with everything a child does, if a two year old is being a little shit you tell it "you're being a little shit now stop it or I'll smack you" and more often than not that works because the concept of consequence is something kids pick up on pretty quickly.

Which is no substitute for acknowledging and rewarding good behaviour, but still.

My point is I see children, adults, animals and artificial intelligences as thinking things because that's what they are, now they may think differently (some learn faster, some organise priorities differently) but in essence they're all outcome based behavioural optimisation routines. You don't even have to think of them as entities really, it's all just one vast and unbelievably complicated system and as a outcome based behavioural optimisation routines myself it's my purpose to optimise this system for my desired outcome by optimising the way in which I interact with it and thus the affect I have upon it.

Children have such open & impressionable minds, most will do what you ask of them for nothing more than a smile, with just a little positive reinforcement, how can anyone hate that which is so readily agreeable?

Unless they are merely children themselves

Edit: Except other people's poorly raised children but of course they're only symptomatic of the real problem.

 

[TimeAsylums]

"concept of consequence"

Physical punishment as an original deterrent is a childish notion.

If the machine is capable of holding consequences as concepts(abstractions), then it is better to explain the concept of the action they are performing is a hindrance and as such is a negative affect of their actions. That is, explain to them why they are wrong in their actions, not just "stop, or else."

A 2yo is more S-R at that point, but you chose to use the word concept.

I don't count the ones "mature" enough as children <- because:

"you're acting like such a child"
"you're acting like such an infant"

is a very common insult.

 

[BigApplePi]

How do you feel about children?

I was advised not to go feeling about children in public lest I be labelled with ... I think they call it pedophilia. That would be bad thing as it would tend to tarnish one's reputation.

Other than that, children are for learning history. They are for checking out where we were (98 percent plus of us were children at one time) and for playing around with where we might go.

Be careful how you treat children. They tend to grow on you and you know what happened to Oedipus's daddy.

 

[Brontosaurie]

innocence and purity

natural wisdom not yet corrupted

 

[Absurdity]

People who can't stand children are themselves children

 

[Cognisant]

If the machine is capable of holding consequences as concepts(abstractions), then it is better to explain the concept of the action they are performing is a hindrance and as such is a negative affect of their actions. That is, explain to them why they are wrong in their actions, not just "stop, or else."

That would be ideal, assuming the 2yr old in question is willing to listen.

Physical punishment as an original deterrent is a childish notion.

Yes the threat alone should suffice, the disapproval of an adult should weigh more on a child's mind than the prospect of being smacked unless the child in question feels it has the unconditional support of another adult.

Save the child, smack the adult

 

[Cognisant]

Subtle blasphemy.

"Hallelujah" loosely translates as "thank god" so by saying it to Jesus you're putting the prophet before the deity which neither would be happy about.

Which I enjoy.

 

[doncarlzone]

I don't mind them, however, I'm terrible around them. I never had to deal with children until recently when my sister got two girls - it was really awkward in the beginning. The oldest one is a little princess who has terrible comedic sense (I know she is four, but still). She is also ruthlessly aware of how cute she is. I just smile at her, as I'm not sure what else to do when she wants my attention.

It's getting better with the younger one being able to talk, she is quite different. It took her ages to get comfortable with me as she is very shy but now she is beginning to like me. She will watch cartoons and ask me what certain words mean. And whenever I correct her pronunciation of words, she repeats and remembers. She seems truly smart and curious so I feel much more comfortable around her. Fortunately for them, my INFP brother is a natural around children so they do have one fun uncle.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

I would have a hard time trusting someone whose heart couldn't be thawed a bit by a child hugging them, saying a funny childish observation or what have you. I totally understand the adult reaction to an unruly child but if you have enough maturity, you'll let whatever bothers you run off your back. If nothing else, it's especially interesting to observe children. They are the gateway to understanding ourselves. I would think INTPs especially could appreciate that.

 

[Absurdity]

Subtle blasphemy.

"Hallelujah" loosely translates as "thank god" so by saying it to Jesus you're putting the prophet before the deity which neither would be happy about.

Which I enjoy.

Jesus wasn't a prophet. Nice try though.

 

[doncarlzone]

Jesus wasn't a prophet. Nice try though.

In the Quran he was.

 

[Cavallier]

Children can be fun. You put ideas in, their little brains crank away at them for a while, and you get interesting results out.

I don't mind children. It's hardly their fault they were pulled screaming into the world. For that reason I am compassionate towards them. There is no reason for me to not be kind and gentle to them. With a little luck and some guidance they can grow up to be an adult I could like and/or respect.

I don't squeal with joy at the sight of them. The children's section of the department store is overwhelming and often downright disturbing to me. The way many adults feel the need to enforce gender norms on their children before their children even know what sex organs are is downright creepy. /tangent

I like playing with children. Though I admit to being bored with babies. I have cared for a few babies in my time. I was protective and gave them what they needed to be happy but I was very bored with the lifestyle. It's a long train of naps, feedings, walks, potty breaks, and a few moments of tickles and giggles. The rest of the time I read a LOT of books to keep from going stir crazy.

I don't think babies or even most children are cute. I think puppies are cute. But the maternal instinct to protect and care for them is still in me. I think it's a bit less knee jerk and a bit more intellectualized but it's there. I'm not a self centered bastard who wants all children dead. I'm also not all oogly over kids.

 

[TimeAsylums]

wants all children dead

I have yet to see anyone purporting infanticide.

 

[Cavallier]

I have yet to see anyone purporting infanticide.

I did not make that claim. I was pointing out two extremes of the spectrum and attempted to say I'm not on either end.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I did not make that claim.

I did not make the the claim that you made that claim.

I made a statement observing your statement.

You have claimed that I have claimed that you claimed, when I did not claim.

[bIMGx=300]http://www.stlegerhomes.co.uk/images/face%20-%20straight.jpg[/bIMGx]

*poker face*

 

[TheManBeyond]

I've always been told that children deeply love me, they seem to loathe me like i was some kind of antique god, as soon as i appear trough the door they start dacing like in some forgotten nameless celebration and they crawl until they reach my feets. I like them to certain point, specially if they haven't entered that state of incessant desperation and howling cries, i think they like me cuz i almost never yell back at them when they attempt a defenestrating achievement. I'm almost like the rescuing version of pop's king, MJ.

 

[Lot]

Children are alright. Just like the adults they will one day become, there are some that are annoying, and some that are awesome.

People seem to forget what selfish, ignorant, poop machines that they used to be. You were annoying. You asked ridiculous questions. You were so useless that you couldn't even feed yourself. It seems really thoughtless to hate children. It's ok to not like some kids. That's normal. But if you don't like all of them, you probably haven't grown up yourself.

 

[Cavallier]

Children are alright. Just like the adults they will one day become, there are some that are annoying, and some that are awesome.

Exactly. I have met a few kids that were irritating and some that were surprising and quite a bit of fun.

 

[scorpiomover]

I like children under 12. They're like me, only smaller, and without a desire to have sex. They ask the odd questions that I like to ask.

 

[PhoenixRising]

My point is I see children, adults, animals and artificial intelligences as thinking things because that's what they are, now they may think differently (some learn faster, some organise priorities differently) but in essence they're all outcome based behavioural optimisation routines.

^ this.

@OP: If you decide to have children, make sure it's something you really want to do, taking into consideration all of the effort it will entail.

Children can be interesting. Their psychology represents the purest form of the subconscious - what we all consist of at the foundations of our personality. But raising them is an energy intensive labor that requires tolerance and dedication. Living with a child is just like living with any family member, you may well love them, but there will be things that get on your nerves about them and vice versa. Unlike with an adult relative, often times you can't resolve an argument with a child through reason. This can be especially frustrating for people who rely mainly on their reasoning capability to navigate problems.

It is the parent's responsibility to maintain a healthy environment for a child as they develop, this includes physically and emotionally/mentally. A large portion of a parent's resources go into raising their child. Statistically, it costs roughly $250,000 to raise one child from birth to age 18. Also, any emotional problems parents have are likely to effect the psychological development of their child negatively. This means that the best parents are those who are relatively psychologically healthy. In other words, prerequisites to parenthood include being financially sound and sane. It's also helpful to have a high level of patience and well-rounded communication skills.

 

[BigApplePi]

I like the idea of a children but I'd better take them one at a time. Otherwise I'd be overwhelmed. I like children because they are like a blank slate only more bubbly. You can right anything you want but you have to be careful because it's hard to erase. They are also naive and can't see my faults very well so that puts me more at ease.

Without children the population of the next generation would go to zero ... at least that's what I calculated my first estimate. Zero is a low number. What about half a children? That would make the next generation only four billion. That's a higher number. I don't see any need for more than two children per current person ... unless you are a farmer. Then there is more cheap labor to take in crops. That doesn't work well in the long run, does it?

 

[Duxwing]

Smart, intellectual children fascinate and inspire me.

-Duxwing

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I've always found children, of pretty much all intelligences, easy, I guess. There are somewhat disarmingly affectionate and I wonder if they the have a sort of instinctual/manipulative impetus to try and ingratiate themselves to adults. Children, generally, seem to like me. I suppose I'm fairly ambivalent to the presence of children, but I don't mind indulging and interacting with them. Judging a child by his/her intellectual capacity seems profoundly idiotic to me though.

I suppose I also have a fairly strong protective, maternal instinct, as I'll absentmindedly keep an eye out for the safety and well being of any children I'm aware of and act if I perceive it necessary. Adolescents are alright individually, usually, but can become extremely obnoxious and destructive in groups.


I am told with some frequency that I'd be a good mother, but most people tend to assume that all women will eventually becomes mothers regardless of what they actually think or feel about the matter. I have no desire to be a mother, and am strictly adamant against ever becoming pregnant. Non-negotiable. They only way I would become a mother was if a close relative died and left a child/children behind.

 

[redbaron]

I don't want children, but I like (most of) them. They're not old enough to be dumb. I don't coddle children but I do play with them.

In my experience kids act like, "kids" because they're conditioned that way by the people around them. I don't attribute that so much to biological age. If you just take the time to talk to them like any intelligent adult, they're surprisingly receptive.

 

[Pyropyro]

I like children and enjoy taking care of them. I enjoyed teaching them at church. I have a niece and a nephew and I don't mind taking care of them to temporarily give my sisters some peace and quiet.

People who can't stand children are themselves children

^ Win!

 

[BigApplePi]

How do you feel about children?

I don't know. I tried tickling one of them but they wiggled. Anyone know how to stop the wiggling? Giggling was okay because it was intelleckshual. Better an ESFP.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

The parents of children:

I would like to see statistics on children born in the last 50 years that were unplanned vs planned, my feeling is that it's more the former (discounting countries where arranged marriages and woman inequality exist). Many parents confuse their acts of anger for discipline, many are selfish with their child's development, many raise children in poor and dangerous environments, many are ignorant with respect to unhealthy behaviors and perspectives they are instilling... All that plus considering that children can be conceived for any number of reasons, it really is a wonder that the world still has, for the most part, a society of functional adults.

I think abortion should be at least available for situations where the child wouldn't have a healthy or financially stable environment. I could see justification for the conditional prohibition of conception(taking training courses, psychological evaluation etc), but that comes from my empathetic idealism and I know it'd be controversial.​

Children:

They can be fun, humorous, annoying, inspiring, tiring, disarming, ingenious, foolish. From both me still being fairly young, and my personality, they tend to see me as someone they can relate to rather than an authority figure. I'm okay with that to an extent seeing as I'm not the parent, but then children consider you equal and will feel free to be disrespectful or argumentative.​

My own children:

I still don't consider myself as ready to even speculate the future possibility, for various reasons including financial and developmental. But I have both protective and educational tendencies and I'd like the idea of helping a child with their intellectual development, especially as my own family environment was never conducive to intellect, creativity, sophisticated discussion etc. But that is only one aspect of raising children which really doesn't come until later on, so it's not much of a compelling or justified reason.​

 

[EditorOne]

I get along fine with little kids and dogs. Presumably I project harmlessness.

Occasionally there's a brat. Then I wonder how far I can drop kick a brat.

 

[Hadoblado]

I like children. It's like a starter pokemon.

 

[Pyropyro]

I like children. It's like a starter pokemon.

The Million-dollar question is: Fire-type, Water-type or Grass-type?

 

[Duxwing]

@Adaire I thought you already had children. Who was talking about having had them too early? Also, did I say I was judging the children who were not smart or intellectual?

-Duxwing

 

[BrainVessel]

Children are necessary.
Sorry for being "cold-hearted" but I have to deal with them frequently and even as a female I have very rarely had any sort of "awh" feeling surface when interacting with one. Very rarely= twice a year, at the most. I find it very difficult to cater to their constant need for attention.
I generally treat all humans as if they were grown adults, as long as they can speak well and transport themselves. I know it's irrational to believe a child is capable of adult behavior, but I, for some reason, do.
I do enjoy watching them, seeing how they develope psychologically, see what they grow up to be like. I like trying to type them, even though there is very little evidence to work with.
I find them interesting, but leave the nurturing to the ESFJs.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

@Adaire I thought you already had children. Who was talking about having had them too early? Also, did I say I was judging the children who were not smart or intellectual?

-Duxwing

Fukyo is my daughter.

 

[Hadoblado]

The Million-dollar question is: Fire-type, Water-type or Grass-type?

Grass or fire, depending on which game you're playing. Waters are far too common and versatile in purpose to think there'd be a spot in your final team for a starter. Fire is generally a weak element though some of the starters are okay. Grass is weak at completing the game (low damage and low PP moves) but can often end up playing a role in the end.

I tend to just use whichever will get me through the game the fastest then ditch them.

 

[Hadoblado]

Oh, I genuinely enjoy children btw. Animals too. I don't go all gooey or anything, but I have no problem caring for children or paying attention to them.

 

[Minuend]

Largely indifferent.

I don't really know how to act around them as I never did since I was a child myself, so it remains somewhat awkward the rare occasions I do meet them. I keep remaining largely disinterested in learning.

I don't really have any strong negative feels against them. They are like curtains, just something that is there sometimes.

Children are necessary.
I find it very difficult to cater to their constant need for attention.

I was looking after two dogs for week once. The constant need for attention and pet was draining me out of china. I think this would also be an issue with children. I just don't have the energy for it.

 

[AngelOne]

I like dogs more than I do children. I used to not like children much but I like them better now.

My partner and I noticed that children who have just learned to walk look kind of like little zombies. We've tried to get our friends with kids to only ever say "braaiinnss" around them so that they'll look and sound like little zombies. So far, no one has done it.

 

[Jennywocky]

While I think kids in general can be cute, I'm not much of a baby holder (maybe 5-10 minutes, but it doesn't take long before my mind goes elsewher) or a baby ogler. I can have a positive feeling, but the highlight of my day is not interacting with kids or dealing with babies... my brain goes elsewhere.

The older kids get, the better. They're actually as funny as hell sometimes, and it's very fascinating and instructive to watch them learn. Coggie mentions how they're like interactive learning entities and in general I can fall into that mindset as well -- I like to watch them learn, what pathways their brains travel, how they figure things out, what mistakes they make, what dead ends they circumvent? But again, personality-wise, I have a bent where I like to share ideas and knowledge with people and coax out some independent exploration. I always liked to expose my kids to experiences and tools and see what they ended up doing.

Dealing with your own kids can be easier than dealing with another person's, since you've raised them in accordance with your preferences. Dealing with other people's kids can be pretty stressful, since you have no authority and they've had possibly contrasting behaviors ingrained. Still, kids do take time, energy, and resource-investment if you want to do a good job. I'm glad become a parent generated protective and loving responses in me; taking the responsibility of doing a good job with them made me care more, so I could "grow into the role of parent."

I think it helps to have perspective with kids simply from the reality that we were once all kids too. The same kids you might be getting pissed off at? Well, once upon a time, you were one of them and in fact you still might be one if you're young enough; and if someone had treated you like shit, where would you be now? Kids are just kids, they are what they are. Reacting negatively to kids as a category doesn't make much sense since we've all been there. More a matter of deciding what one can handle and invest, and then avoiding derailing their growing process.

I'll admit I'm crappy with long-term relationships with people. Investing so much in my kids ensured I'd at least have three people in my life who care to some degree, who know me well (and who I know in return), and who I enjoy being with. And I enjoy watching them succeed and grow.
　

Fukyo is my daughter.

Awwwww....

Perfect time to inflict those little pink dresses with little pink bows. (I wouldn't do it for anyone else, but Fukyo is special.)

 

[Duxwing]

Fukyo is my daughter.

Awww!

-Duxwing

 

[Spirit]

I am glad that some people choose not to have kids. If you are not interested in having them, you should not be forced into it. That being said, the way some of you think, you should not have kids for the kids sake.

They are offering free vasectomies in the military, get them while they're are hot.

 

[TimeAsylums]

They are offering free vasectomies in the military, get them while they're are hot.

Enlisting =/=(not worth) the <$1k vasectomy

but do peddle this in useful places

 

[Spirit]

Enlisting =/=(not worth) the <$1k vasectomy

but do peddle this in useful places

Then you aren't doing it right.

 

[TimeAsylums]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMG-LWyNcAs

L M A O

 

[JimJambones]

I love children. Well, I love the sweet, imaginative children who enjoy occupying themselves. I find it rewarding to teach children cool shit.

 

[JimJambones]

I find having my own kids to be rewarding and frustrating at the same time. It seems whenever I'm in deep though, my kids know it and do everything they can to get my attention, even though they are fine. It's the neediness that can become grating. Because of this I am in some sort of limbo; unable to concentrate on my interests while unable to give my whole attention to their every need. I feel guilty for not being immediately aware of their needs. I figure it out, but my mental distractions usually keep me from noticing right away. As they've gotten older it has become easier as they are able to do things for themselves. I'm not neglectful, but I don't make that great of a caregiver either. I am a very patient and accommodating parent though.