How do other people see you?

[Marshmallow Moo]

What the title said.
I've read somewhere that INTPs are the most misunderstood type (don't quote me on that). If this is the case, then people must have some very odd perceptions of how an INTP really is.

For instance, most people besides my close friends think I'm exceedingly stupid. I think this has to do with the fact that I'm ADHD and have a hard time paying attention, but people are often very condescending towards me. My close friends know that I'm very intelligent, but when I'm trying to explain my thoughts to an acquaintance I usually stutter or say something I didn't mean to say, leaving people laughing and going: "Oh... you're such a cute airhead!" So fucking annoying. I get the feeling that people don't take me as seriously because I'm a woman (and, honestly not to be arrogant, not an ugly woman either. Research shows that people take ugly women more seriously than attractive women). I've noticed that I've said things that are very intelligent and I'll get ignored or laughed at, but when a dude repeats what I just said people will say, "No way, I never thought of that!" Ugh.

Anyway, do people have similar problems? People misconstruing what you're trying to say? People being all around idiots? Share!

 

[downsowf]

What the title said.
I've read somewhere that INTPs are the most misunderstood type (don't quote me on that). If this is the case, then people must have some very odd perceptions of how an INTP really is.

For instance, most people besides my close friends think I'm exceedingly stupid. I think this has to do with the fact that I'm ADHD and have a hard time paying attention, but people are often very condescending towards me. My close friends know that I'm very intelligent, but when I'm trying to explain my thoughts to an acquaintance I usually stutter or say something I didn't mean to say, leaving people laughing and going: "Oh... you're such a cute airhead!" So fucking annoying. I get the feeling that people don't take me as seriously because I'm a woman (and, honestly not to be arrogant, not an ugly woman either. Research shows that people take ugly women more seriously than attractive women). I've noticed that I've said things that are very intelligent and I'll get ignored or laughed at, but when a dude repeats what I just said people will say, "No way, I never thought of that!" Ugh.

Anyway, do people have similar problems? People misconstruing what you're trying to say? People being all around idiots? Share!

Forget about being an INTP for a moment. People only judge you by what you say and what you do. They can't read your thoughts and know what crazy things are going on in that crazy brain of yours. Now put the INTP hat back on. When I was in my teens, and not fully confident in my abilities, it would be hard for me to articulate thoughts too. And I generally spent those years listening to people because I did not want to be humiliated, mostly for my own personal shame, if I thought my comment would not be taken seriously. So I've definitely been there. I think the difference with us is that intelligence means everything. If someone called you ugly, this would probably not nearly affect you as much if someone called you stupid. Being knowledgeable, self-evaluation, and critical analysis is the very reason we exist. For this not to be recognized, and in your case, being perceived as someone totally antithetical to who you are, I'm sure is a big confidence killer. And the whole ugly/pretty women debate, I cannot buy into. I generally believe the opposite: attractive girls are taken seriously because men usually suspend their judgment as well as become more agreeable when an attractive woman talks to them. I basically think this is more of a confidence issue. The other people you are hanging around are obviously assholes since they make you uncomfortable and insecure when sharing your thoughts. Use this as motivation. Hone your skills, stop hanging out with people who make you feel stupid, and become an intellectual junkie. Being able to discuss issues beyond general knowledge and having a conversation where you are able to share your knowledge with anybody gives us great satisfaction. This could be because I'm an arrogant prick, but being able to challenge people's views and elevating a conversation gives me great satisfaction. You'll be fine.

On another note: If you have ADD and your life is being negatively affected because of this, taking medication might help resolve some issues. I'm not condoning, but it sounds like you have a hard time being able to react in social situations.

 

[Stirner]

For instance, most people besides my close friends think I'm exceedingly stupid.

I don't know how many times I've heard other classmates whisper "he's so stupid", "what a stupid question" or "he shouldn't even be in this class, he's so dumb" because I'm terrible at articulating. The funny part though? Teachers praise my writing, and I'm content -- ugh, I hate that word -- with that. If we communicated with each other through text (no, not text messaging!) in school, then I'm sure most people would have an easier time understanding me. Hell, they might even think that I'm intelligent.

My close friends know that I'm very intelligent, but when I'm trying to explain my thoughts to an acquaintance I usually stutter or say something I didn't mean to say, leaving people laughing and going.

Yup, I'm the exact same way.

I've noticed that I've said things that are very intelligent and I'll get ignored or laughed at, but when a dude repeats what I just said people will say, "No way, I never thought of that!" Ugh.

This annoys the hell out of me too. I think, but I may not be certain, it has to do with our shared ability to be digressive. I know that's the issue in my case. Instead of flat out saying why I think something is, I have this tendency to explain -- even when explanation is not necessary -- why I think it is. Obviously, people then become more focused on the details and less on the main idea. Through deductive reasoning then, I think others are able to grasp the main idea but they take all the credit for it when they articulate it correctly (or more accurately in this case, better).

People misconstruing what you're trying to say? People being all around idiots? Share!

Definitely, but it comes with the territory. Remember, we love the abstract. Other types are not fully capable of understanding things abstractly like we are, which leads them to believe that we are stupid when our logic does not follow a fully linear path. In an ideal world, there would only be one type: INTP.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Lazy dumbass who's socially awkward to the point of hilarity. Arrogant douchebag who corrects every little mistake (grammar, other people's holes in logic/knowledge, etc.) and has way too much irrelevant knowledge. Unambitious.

 

[xbox]

<- A crying little bitch.

 

[systembust]

Alien on vacation.

 

[ItsRelative]

<- Superiority complex, i can prove it by telling i'm not sure if i actually am superior to people i know. Fear not, i'm Benevolent and not too far off thanks to logic
In this forum above isn't an issue.

 

[Marshmallow Moo]

And the whole ugly/pretty women debate, I cannot buy into. I generally believe the opposite: attractive girls are taken seriously because men usually suspend their judgment as well as become more agreeable when an attractive woman talks to them.

Well, let me put it this way. People will listen to me more. I've found that they will nod and laugh and give me more attention than someone who is not very attractive, but they (guys especially) seem to think I'm incompetent! I just want to tell them, dear God I KNOW! Stop trying to tell me what to do or how to do it or try to correct what I'm saying because I said exactly what you just said and it seems like you can't hear a word I'm saying. I'm sure they are just trying to sound competent themselves but that doesn't stop it from being annoying. I think unattractive women will be taken more seriously for their thoughts and opinions because guys aren't trying to impress them/get in their pants.

I think also because I'm not very good at practical matters (such as fixing machines like bikes/cars) it reinforces their opinion that I am just another girl who doesn't know how to do anything and so therefore my thoughts are void. Not saying that every guy or even most guys are this way, just many of the ones I've encountered. It could be the culture I live in (a lot of value is placed on technical skills).

I basically think this is more of a confidence issue. The other people you are hanging around are obviously assholes since they make you uncomfortable and insecure when sharing your thoughts. Use this as motivation. Hone your skills, stop hanging out with people who make you feel stupid, and become an intellectual junkie. Being able to discuss issues beyond general knowledge and having a conversation where you are able to share your knowledge with anybody gives us great satisfaction. This could be because I'm an arrogant prick, but being able to challenge people's views and elevating a conversation gives me great satisfaction. You'll be fine.

My friends are mostly Feeling types so this is hard to do. And the people where I live are mostly Sensing types so this is (nearly) impossible to do. Still, I think I'm getting better at it. When you modify your opinions just slightly so they seem more realistic (to an S) and less abrasive (to an F) then they will take you more seriously. And when the time comes that the conservation dips into the abstract... BAM! I'll hit them with awesomeness.

On another note: If you have ADD and you're life is being negatively affected because of this, taking medication might help resolve some issues. I'm not condoning, but it sounds like you have a hard time being able to react in social situations.

I'm taking meds but it's the lowest dose right now. Doesn't help me very much. Though I've found it makes me less nervous when I'm around other people. Hopefully it will get better with the next dose!

Thanks for all your help.

 

[ObliviousGenius]

I am also highly misunderstood especially with my XSXJ family. However, people see me and know me as the smart kid. Mostly because all the people I know have known me for a very long time. I have the look of a genius (penetrating stare, glasses, nerdy dress, etc.) I think people are more prone to notice is because I'm not a bad looking guy myself. But like you, its sometimes more of a burden than a perk. People are constantly being intrusive to my personal life and probing me for answers that I won't give. I still feel people don't know anything about me because those same people still think that I'm secretly some depressed victimized young adult who's ready to just give up. I'm so different from everyone else (especially in the black community) that I REALLY stick out. It's impossible for them to make an accurate judgment because their thoughts run in a straight line, whereas ours run in tangents, like the roots under a tree.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I recognize this.

I used to think a lot of people thought I was just a dumb, unconcentrated, random weakling. Good for a few laughs, but nothing more. It pissed me off.

Whenever I tried to discuss something philosophical or psychological, I felt like a lot of people just thought 'Oh, here he goes again with his ridiculous sciene-fiction-like rambling.'

I think it had to do with me being not too good at 'small talk' as well. I still just see it as pointless. I've gotten better at it though.

Actually, now I think of it, I don't think it's anymore as bad as I just said. These feelings are pretty much almost gone, although they rise to the surface again now and then. My skills in appearing intelligent and respected have quite increased last year. But eh, 'I've been there'.

 

[downsowf]

Well, let me put it this way. People will listen to me more. I've found that they will nod and laugh and give me more attention than someone who is not very attractive, but they (guys especially) seem to think I'm incompetent! I just want to tell them, dear God I KNOW! Stop trying to tell me what to do or how to do it or try to correct what I'm saying because I said exactly what you just said and it seems like you can't hear a word I'm saying. I'm sure they are just trying to sound competent themselves but that doesn't stop it from being annoying. I think unattractive women will be taken more seriously for their thoughts and opinions because guys aren't trying to impress them/get in their pants.

I think also because I'm not very good at practical matters (such as fixing machines like bikes/cars) it reinforces their opinion that I am just another girl who doesn't know how to do anything and so therefore my thoughts are void. Not saying that every guy or even most guys are this way, just many of the ones I've encountered. It could be the culture I live in (a lot of value is placed on technical skills).

Well, I'll defer to you, given that I'm not a women, on your perceptions on how men treat women who are attractive. Possibly they are trying to show off like you said. Luckily that doesn't happen to me. Personally, I try to treat everyone to the same standards, but you might have a point that more attractive women are spoken down to or are not expected to have much depth. I think that says more about the men you hang out with, though. From my experience, the women I am closest to, and who are attractive, generally overcompensate for this "burden" by overachieving in their quest for wanting to be taken seriously. Never really thought about it before. You also have the advantage of being a woman, though, and you should start setting the agenda for the conversation and move it in another direction because men probably just want to talk to you regardless. I always try to control, and if I need to change, the nature or agenda of the conversation, in a very subtle way, so I can control what turn the conversation will take in order to accentuate my personal knowledge.

Like you, I know nothing about fixing cars or bikes. If the conversation takes that turn, I won't even pretend to know what I'm talking about. My best friend is obsessed with fixing cars/bikes. He knows never to talk to me about that crap and I know if my car breaks down he will fix it. You're right that people will tend to believe that you are incompetent if you don't know about practical matters. We generally just don't enjoy these activities I suppose. This does make us incompetent in some matters, though. I'll generally "manipulate" friends to help me with these kinds of things. For instance, I just got a friend to put together my bookshelf. haha. I played into his ego and told him that he was just so good at building shit. Just know that you are not one dimensional and you are not someone who wants to be known as the person who can "fix things." You obviously want to be more than that.

 

[Ejno]

Have you considered that these friends of yours may actually recognise that you are in fact intelligent but in turn are slightly intimidated by this and in response they are making defensive jests in order to break your confidence to supress the possibility that you can potentially out think them.

I am no expert but I have suspected this motive amongst my own friends in the past and I agree with previous posts in that this sort of thing is sure to affect you strongly, given our type percieves intelligence as one of our most valuable assets in ourselves and within the people we associate with.

Stick to your guns, so to speak and be sure of yourself it seems to me that you at least believe in your own intelligence and in my opinion that is all that matters in the end.

 

[A22]

Some people seriously think I'm bipolar. That's probably because they don't know what bipolar disorder is. Or perhaps I don't.

 

[Roran]

<- Quiet smartass who regularly corrects the GODDAMN TEACHER ON HIS FUCKING GRAMMAR (among other things) (when it appears I know more than the teacher it makes me rage so hard) and refuses to "help" (give classmates answers to questions). Talks very little to his fellow classmates, ostensibly out of dislike for their stupidity.

 

[SpaceYeti]

<- Super-sexy.

 

[GYX_Kid]

It depends on the individual and what I've displayed in the past to each. I have a mental catalog of all of this, and know what I can and can't do with all of it. Sometimes their opinions of me seem not to make perfect sense, though. Like putting 2 and 2 together is somehow 8. Need to keep figuring people out.

Currently overall, TJ's probably think the least of me and EP's the most. That was a completely wild sweeping guess.

 

[Essence]

People usually think i'm really chill if they've only just met me. People who knew during the first two years of high school usually talk to me as if i'm stupid. It pisses me off. Before last year, nobody knew i was gay, now its no secret (unfortunately) and i've gotten asked about it quite a few times. Most people don't look at it as badly as other places deeper in texas might. Girls are attracted to me, which is cool i guess People who knew me before i got into high school know i'm smart, but weird in general.

So basically, i'm seen as the weird guy with the hair that stares at people.

I've noticed that I've said things that are very intelligent and I'll get ignored or laughed at, but when a dude repeats what I just said people will say, "No way, I never thought of that!" Ugh.

When that happens, i make a point to make sure everyone knows that i said it originally. I HATE that. Its like they're stealing my thoughts.

 

[Minuend]

<--- Invisible. Yeah, that is right, mine is also a super power.

I am in Uni after all

 

[MissBadHabits]

Most people think I'm an absolute bitch. Most likely because I don't talk to people I've just met and if I do say something it's either correcting someone or sarcastic to the point of really insulting someone. Also, I think people are just jealous because I'm smart and beautiful.

 

[xbox]

Currently overall, TJ's probably think the least of me and EP's the most. That was a completely wild sweeping guess.

Because I'm surrounded by SJ's at home, I have low ratings at home.

EP's do tend to have a higher opinion of me.

 

[Puffy]

Entirely depends on who these people are.

If you asked my school friends then I would probably appear a little like a Joker figure. A tad sociopathic and the last person you trust in a Battle Royale scenario, but fun to have around, usually testing the limits to produce laughs. They don't value conversation that people on the forum might consider intellectual, emotional is an even bigger no-go, so we've always tended to explore our sense of humour together instead.

To strangers and those I don't know well I just come across as very private and a bit eccentric, I think.

I don't think I've met many people that have allowed me to just openly be me. Whatever that means. Who you are is defined in relation to others, I expect, anyway.

 

[digital angel]

Give yourself some time. Keep in mind that if you're in high school, you're in your teenage years and those years may not be reflective of what happens later on. Use your analytical skills towards your interests(I'm assuming you have academic interests).

I'm a professional woman. My friends treat me like I'm a professional and a human being.

 

[Oedipus]

Lazy but intelligent, strange, sharp tongued. People think I'm smarter than I actually am, I think because of my exam results. I'm really just good at bullshitting through exams and suchlike.

 

[Jelly Rev]

<----Everything. Truly the example of hard Ne use.

At a party. The guy in the corner, the social one, the seducer, the dancer, the shit talker.

This has created various persona's at different places that are conflicting

at work(construction)-A total airhead, dreamy and innattentive...

at home-an underachiever, nerdy

at class-quiet, then burst into jokes

friends at home-silly, not serious

best friends-very deep but not serious

friends at uni-Hard partyer, womanizer
was recently told I was the last person to have ever settle down and get in a relationship bc I was a womanizer. I was actualy offended

 

[NoID10ts]

<--- quiet, amicable, and reserved with a twisted sense of humor that only comes out when I'm comfortable.

 

[crippli]

<--- intp with minuscule letters. Not a real one, but with traits. Maybe.

Seriously. I find the information hard to come by. At least raw data. As it's mostly processed through a form of lens so not so general.

On another site that had another forum to troll the main forum(to generate tragic, I mean trafic) I was surprised I was noticed and amongst mostly nonsense I found this observation interesting, and wonder if there is not some truth to it. I wonder if it's projection though, and the lack of foundation is because they didn't start with a foundation? So the interaction escalates in a fairytale with an impossible tower, where the game is to assault it. I dunno. Maybe to knock on the door would make the story different? And a regular coomphy wood hut would be there instead? With free drinks, and rope beds between the trees to relax in.

Reading cripple's posts is like slowly revealing an impossible tower with no apparent foundation and constructed from frayed cable and warped beams. It's the sort of structure that might crumble under assault, if only the paths to the tower were in any way traversable.

 

[Cavallier]

<----Sucking black hole.

Seriously, I think that for IxTx it's a matter of us not putting ourselves out there very much socially. I'm good at small talk. I ask about the other person's interests and (since I know a little bit about everything) I generally know enough about their interests to keep the other person talking. Usually, most people in that situation are comfortable talking about themselves and their interests. I don't let them ramble on of course because otherwise I'd be completely bored out of my mind. I ask them to back up their opinions but generally in a non-confrontational chatty getting-to-know-you sort of way. However, the other day I realized that when someone asks me about my interests or my opinion I freeze. I never really give much of myself. Instead I scramble to come up with something they would themselves be interested in so that I can cajole them into talking about themselves again. It's not as if I don't give them anything about myself. If we get onto a topic I have a strong opinion about I usually voice it if appropriate but mostly I let the other person lead the way conversationally.

How can I expect anybody to think anything of me when I don't give them much of myself? And yet people who have known me for more than 10 minutes usually describe me as "quiet", "intelligent", "flighty", and "not a push over". Which is odd...I don't give them anything. How do they come up with this stuff?

 

[cheese]

crippli: They could be saying your posts are hard to understand. There seems to be some semblance of connection between sentences, but both sentences and connections are hard to grasp. Could be a language thing. I do find your posts hard to understand. They seem to meander around with just a hint of a point attracting sentences into orbit. Similar to being a tower with no foundation, I suppose. Though they might be saying something else entirely and I might be bad at understanding you.

 

[Jedi]

<-- I've had a couple friends say to me "Man, before I knew you I thought you were.... weird. That was back in middle school when I was the new kid. It probably hasn't changed much.

 

[tepellian]

<-- Probably looks oblivious.

Otherwise, I got told recently that the general consensus (among people I know outside of the 'net) is that I'm on a different level from everyone else. I guess that's how I'm "seen".

It's impossible for them to make an accurate judgment because their thoughts run in a straight line, whereas ours run in tangents, like the roots under a tree.

That is a beautiful metaphor.

For instance, most people besides my close friends think I'm exceedingly stupid. I think this has to do with the fact that I'm ADHD and have a hard time paying attention, but people are often very condescending towards me.

I don't know if it's upsetting you, but screw their condescension, you don't need to deal with people like that. You realize they're wrong anyhow; what else matters?

Though I like the thread of thought from the issue. It's always funny to note when someone is inappropriately condescending, and the question you added might be a worthy one.

I don't remember not being taken seriously when I was younger, though I do remember people taunting me or elders scolding me and me not caring because what they were considering was irrelevant. I think I frustrated some because of that.

Research shows that people take ugly women more seriously than attractive women).

I've never heard of this research before. It sounds interesting; can you share/link what you've found?

 

[crippli]

cheese: I'm not always very conscious about the formatting. And perhaps forget sometimes that the point with making a post is for others to read it. And sometimes I just braindump, and can barely follow my own jumps. So I've asked myself, how can others follow this mess? Also asked, why am I posting this? Do I have a point? I am not sure what are the answers. I suspect they are generally just ideas I'd like to check if are stupid or if there is something to them. Checking if I'm still sane.

As to the OPs issues. I'm not sure I have them. Or it's variable, or it's not enough of a problem to cause me distress. I've found some people say they think I'm smart, others that I'm stupid. Now, what I have not figured out if it's the smart or the stupid ones who think I'm stupid. I also sometimes get instinctive responses 'what a f****** retarded thing to say'. Then I scratch my head and think how on earth did they mange to think this through so quickly and arrive at a conclusion?

 

[pjoa09]

oblivious, high, stupid, unconfident

 

[Zionoxis]

Arrogant, oblivious, unorganized, intelligent (by some), nerd/geek