Honing ideas

[Muteki]

Guess I ought to do one of these to get some details on the table huh.
I may just be here a while after all.

I'm thinking getting into some real discussions should be good for me, as opposed to the variety of impassives I unsurprisingly find myself surrounded by. I wouldn't say I feel some great need for socializing or acceptance, rather an urge to hone ideas. If only we had the thought capacity to think of every branching path right? Even despite a clear mind and the best efforts to prove otherwise.

Naturally I'm fascinated in several possible metaphysical, spiritual/supernatural realms. Though I've primarily been focused on an interest in psychological epiphanies/awakenings, as well as the experiences and thought strings in people that may lead to them. Actualization easily comes to mind, but the perhaps still loose model I've been mulling and experimenting on is certainly different.

I suppose MBTI is somewhat relevant, but doesn't go deep enough even if it does hold a modicum of accuracy. I'm sure some of you might have any number of extra research layers to add to that, I'll consider them as I go.

In the end, I'd like for these odd theories of mine to give a tangible weight to more than only myself, more than only those of us existentially inclined. Maybe I'll get lucky and find someone of similar concepts, maybe I won't.
I could elaborate more on those ideas here, yet I also don't feel like dumping a 9 page essay on an intro.
So I'll take it easy and take this rabbit hole a few steps at a time.

Perpetual existentialism aside, maybe a warm cup of coffee and the little things in life can ease this weary soul.
Maybe enjoy some company, why not.

 

[Cognisant]

I could elaborate more on those ideas here, yet I also don't feel like dumping a 9 page essay on an intro.
So I'll take it easy and take this rabbit hole a few steps at a time.

Welcome, mind the hole.

Spoiler

 

[Muteki]

That's pretty good, now if only this hole had a faster way to pour through all these threads.

 

[Rook]

Muteki may you eat many space octopi of exploratory thought in this realm.

Your interest in epiphanies, awakenings as you also called them, intrigues me and I would love nothing more than for you to expand upon 'em.. I aint a student of it or such, I have just been on a rollercoaster of different mental states during the past.... year... and now I have reached a realm of the mind here I am not happy or joyul or such but rather sort of... ancient? patient? at peace with entropy and creation .... no no no limited terms... but radically different than I was on 5/9/2020..... im terrified whilst grinning like a fucking hyeana.

so i wonder what exactly your prognostications seek to dissect

Welkom.

 

[Muteki]

Ambivalent ancient states are definitely something to look for, the mental states we've arrived at are just as important a how we got to them to look into.
Wonder if yours is anything like my own

I also went through several immense changes in a very short amount of time initially, continued ironing out any existential issues as I could find them from there.

It's fascinating to think someone as average and blind as I was for example to shift so thoroughly, even despite a young age and with virtually zero philosophical exposure or interest at the time. I would later go on to actually successfully replicate that experience in someone else. So now I feel more assured there's deeper methods here to refine and discover.

It really throws "base" personalities of people into question for me, knowing this type of thing is theoretically possible. Just what significant realizations someone might attain under just the right pressure and circumstances. Of course the wrong circumstances produce some very ugly results, so finding that fine line is rather tricky.

I'll pass along one of mine

 

[Black Rose]

Could you practice your replication process on me? It is hard to shake me up. That has happened to many times before. But I would like to see what you have to offer. From your own experience, the mystical has seemed to have caught you.

It would be appropriate to say the mystical is in everything but it is mostly a feeling of mysteriousness in degree. But then two other feelings exist, contentment and nihilism. It is the valence that determines experience. Nihilism is empty full of meaninglessness.

It is the ability to overcome the numb, to feel alive. Either by being unlonely or content alone. Mysterious is a fuzzy boundary between the known and unknown. But it follows a story so it could be tragedy or triumph. Dark and evil mysterium or good exciting or just the in-between.

It is what turns you on that people seek mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Energy or will to power. There is always a limit on what we can do before we give up but some go to their dying breathe before giving up. A human cannot sprint forever but the will gives them a few moments of extreme speed.

Again with energy, all is energy. Drive to survive. Now all energy can be focused into a motive. Instance: a higher power, but any motive will do because it is the will that makes it seem inhuman to do things without energy but in fact it is just energy being focused that inhuman drive rises out of man/woman.

At its peak energy is directed. That is where the will comes in. The will directs energy, where to go. This leads to the mysterium and nihilism. Both have energy directed in their own way. And an overly rational mind would reject the will because they don't feel, they calculate. But they are directed in a way as well so mistake rationality as vacant of direction, any other way does not compute.

So if energy is directed different ways of directing exist. Not just rational. Depression is a broken will but in the body, the will can be broken also. Some people can do things in an inhuman way. Inhuman energy they have it seems. Others they completely lack energy. That is why not everyone has the same turn on's. They need the right direction to turn on. That is perhaps what I am saying when it comes to existentialism.

It is existential that the approach to it is directed by the set up of a will. Not everyone is 'wired' the same. Some can handle it others can't. A matter of degree and being wired for it or rewired for it.

I hope this isn't irrelevant I just felt compelled to write anything I had the mind to do. so.

 

[Muteki]

It seems you've been this way for quite a while AK.
I'll suppose some notions just from what I've seen.

You seem too caught in your own head, the imbalances, the anxiety, preconceptions and so on. Too much noise in your thoughts to reach real resolutions.

I'm unsure whether your mentioned physical hindrances will allow your mind to flow properly. The person I worked with before overcame their mental conditions by great margins, and while that's promising, theirs were also more purely cognitive.

But let's presume you could do the same anyway, at least to some degree.

I think you'll benefit from learning to let go, meditation, a zen-esque self-detachment.
This cycle I see throughout your threads of pervasive feelings and concepts ought to be broken therein.
You seem to enjoy mulling over a good deal of philosophy, yet somehow I'm not convinced it fully sinks in, either from yourself or others.
There is far more will and choice at our disposal than you seem to believe.

Gradually or otherwise, something may need to hit you harder, something outside the realms of thought you seem almost resigned to trying to rise above and falling back into. Some solutions really are much simpler than we imagine, even if takes a great deal of pain to realize them.

Hopefully this brief analysis of mine is accurate enough to be hitting home.

 

[Black Rose]

repression
I need to be myself and that means I need to be free to act. and to just be.
To change where my energy is being directed. Relieve the tension. relax.
I feel stuck and I need to do what will get me unstuck. whatever is appropriate.

 

[washti]

Your posts sound vague like horoscops. Are you another copypasta from new-agey generator? Someone once did prank like that here. Could you verify as human and post your epiphanies in listed points, straightforward, using short sentences?

 

[DingusLord]

You should certainly look into the graphic novel "V for Vendetta" There is a scene and motif that is most pertinent to the type of awakening you're describing.

 

[Niclmaki]

Your posts sound vague like horoscops. Are you another copypasta from new-agey generator? Someone once did prank like that here. Could you verify as human and post your epiphanies in listed points, straightforward, using short sentences?

lawl - I got that feeling too. I think it’s just a consequence of absorbing a lot of data, but not analyzing and manipulating it. Wait a second... that’s exactly what a script of some ai bot would do! Prove your human-ness!

A kind of “rule of thumb” at spotting people that do this is seeing how often/many clichés they fit into their speech / text. Like someone who eats too much and digests too little.

I suppose that’s the whole point of the post. But, I highly doubt there’s a point at which it is all suddenly clear. You may have excitement and a quickening as you begin to understand something, but I can’t imagine instant clarity. It’s very much an ongoing process of building up ideas, concepts and theories for me.

Here’s a ruminating tip, imagine you have to put what you know into words and are explaining it to someone who knows little or nothing of the subject. Of course, both parties in this imaginary task are you. It is extremely difficult to both pretend you know nothing, and be the one trying to explain. That’s not really the point though, the exercise is to just start getting things into a conversational dialogue.

That ought to help move things from simple memorization and into understanding. Disclaimer; I know there are also many things that cannot be transcribed into words, and I don’t mean to say they are “UNunderstandable” (hehe), this is just a tip.

 

[Muteki]

Y'know I was content just to ignore the bot thing since I didn't see that going anywhere but apparently I could really be a sentient AI, and as interesting as that would be I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you.

 

[DingusLord]

Do you scare off all intelligent new members with AI allegations.

 

[Muteki]

Oh I have more moves planned, it's just a matter of deciding the timing I want along with the mental flow. Doesn't help that I keep finding a multitude of things I'm tempted to prioritize and my little forum experiment gets put on hiatus.

 

[DingusLord]

little forum experiment

Same here. For now I lurk.