INTPs and ENFJs are similar in that both utilize a dominant Judging
function. This contributes to a shared tendency to be intentional,
proactive, and goal-oriented. These types also share the Ti-Fe function
pair, which, combined with their shared preference for Intuition, may
contribute a similarity of interests and worldview.
These types also differ in some important ways. Perhaps most important
is the fact their Ti and Fe functions fall at opposite ends of the functional
stack. While this may engender a fierce initial attraction a la the
“opposites attract” principle, once the infatuation has waned, it may
contribute to a number of difficulties.
ENFJs have strong personalities. Their Fe assertions can be direct, intense,
and emotionally-charged. Such judgments, especially when unsolicited,
are not always well received by others, especially by independent-minded
INTPs.
ENFJs are also prone to function like teachers and counselors in their
relationships. They love sharing their insights in order to help their
partners grow and self-actualize. They enjoy having problems to solve and
people to help. Consequently, their romantic relationships commonly
take on a teacher-pupil (or parent-child) sort of pattern. In fact, any
relationship comprised of a J-type and P-type would seem to carry this
potential.
At least for a while, INTPs may like the fact that ENFJs can help them learn
about relationships in general and themselves in particular. As long as the
relationship serves as a platform for learning, INTPs are likely to stay
interested, while tolerating or overlooking what they might otherwise
view as less favorable features of the ENFJ. Not surprisingly, these less
favorable features often pertain to the ENFJ’s Fe.
Although INTPs may love the ENFJ’s Fe when it helps them learn about
themselves, they may start to feel differently if they feel the ENFJ no
longer has anything new or valuable to say. Indeed, once the initial
novelty has worn off, INTPs may grow cold or resentful toward the ENFJ’s
hair-trigger Fe. As we’ve seen, INTPs instinctively eschew or resist those
they perceive as trying to control or manage them. So while they may
enjoy, or at least tolerate, being the ENFJ’s pupil for a while, if the ENFJ
continues trying to teach or criticize them when they are no longer
interested, they will eventually rebel and things will get ugly.INTPs may also struggle with ENFJs’ loquaciousness and tendency toward
emotionality and melodrama. Since ENFJs “feel aloud,” INTPs may find
themselves looking for a quiet place where they can be alone with their
own thoughts. They may feel they can never relax and fall into Ti mode
when their ENFJ partner is around. Accordingly, the ENFJ may complain
about the INTP being too detached, aloof, or emotionally checked-out.
Lifestyle can be another point of contention between these two types.
ENFJs often have refined tastes with regard to their material
surroundings, their physical appearance, as well as their palate. Like INFJs,
they commonly display a taste for the finer things in life—fine arts, food,
music, culture, etc. They may at times be perceived as snobbish or uppity
(think of the sitcom character, Frasier Crane, for example), taking
themselves or their sophisticated tastes a bit too seriously. As we’ve seen,
INTPs are exactly the opposite in this respect, gravitating toward a
lifestyle of earthiness and minimalism.
In light of the above, it seems fairly unlikely that INTPs would enjoy longterm
compatibility with ENFJs, at least not without great struggle. To be
successful, both partners would need to be far along in their personal
growth and development, in which case an ENFJ might serve as a suitable
mindmate and O & H partner for the INTP.
Absolutely maddening. 
Definitely not an INTP thing generally no doubt. I find it disconcerting that my elders (e.g. parents) expected someone with my personality to conform to such displays what are so alien from my inherent nature. If I'd known myself better...knowing INTPs are so darned rare, though explains why the social milieu in which we are marooned includes such bizarre, superstitious, ESF fueled practices like dancing. And public displays of religious affection
