So from my POV I do have an in built fear of God... having been raised by Roman Catholics ...
However, in growing up, I've allowed myself to explore all branches of Theology..
I noticed that the RCC actually go against a lot of what Jesus Christ preached.
The aspects which you say you say you appreciate for example.. Penance and sacraments.. Hail Mary Mother of God... What happened to 'thout shall have no other idols'??
Although I agree that RCC world studies are very illuminating... As are no doubt all the historical texts they keep hidden from the rest of the world.
I also have a hard time believing that the God of the OT am the NT are the same God.
That is awesome you have been given wisdom in your youth: the fear of the Lord. I raised most of my children without that and now I pray daily they come to know and love God (and fear Him).
All religions take things and twist them up and end up making false teachers in the form of their priests and pastors. It is inevitable because we have one temple (our body) and one Lord, Christ. All attempts to simulate that will fail miserably, as illustrated by people having a hard time finding the 'right' church or 'right' religious fit, or whatever, though we are commanded to commune together anyway, and TRY.
That is why I just tell people I am a Christian. I would say that I am 'non-denominational' but even that now has taken on a connotation of more than the original word meant.
So now I describe my practice of my faith in the negative, defensively, going back to the Bible, and say that I do not believe in sectarianism. Because basically I believe all religions are the enemy's way to break down faith in God, if you really get to the heart of the matter.
I have tried to create my own church, at least theoretically. I call it Love Church. I have written out my belief statements and doctrinal beliefs of my church. But what I found interesting along the way (in looking back just now) is that as a human I cannot help but start to want to be more powerful in that context than I really am; that I want to think my doctrine is more special than other church doctrines, that my faith is stronger, yada yada yada. My point being that church is made of people who present themselves as easy targets for the devil. And the devil does use church to hurt people, from the very top to the bottom.
Some people address this knowledge by simply quitting church. But it is clear that Jesus (by His example of going into synagogues regularly, even when they wanted to kill Him!), and the Apostle Paul and the other early church fathers, felt it was God's will we congregate and worship the Lord. Indeed in the days of creation it is written in the Hebrew (and lost in translation) that the stars are for knowing the seasons and times of year so that God's chosen people could congregate for feasts and worship to Him! The very stars are made for that purpose! So to avoid doing this out of our intellectual gymnastics and self-righteous indignation over past hurts and injustices from the church we may have suffered just means we have unforgiveness in our hearts, see.
I am not intending to preach at you! I am just on a heated thought fervor!
When I say I like the concepts of penance and confession and such, it just means the concept, not necessarily how they put it into play in every way. I think it's a grave mistake that modern churches have omitted confession to priests, believing that you just have to confess once to Jesus and all is forgiven and forgotten, which is true from God's perspective, but not true from ours because God is God and we are deeply messed up. There might be layers upon layers of hurt and guilt and shame built up that one has to dig through and ask forgiveness for as more comes to light. The Catholic Church understood this, because we understood this as an ancient race. As we live apart from Christ, we sin on a regular basis, and that is why confession was a regular thing in the old RCC, which has by and far been lost in the modern RCC as well. We all have forgotten this knowledge.
Confession is basically just spiritual therapy, or Christian counseling, if you will. It is ignorant and lazy for modern churches and denominations to think that with a thought prayer one could be cured of the sins of their old life.
And penance goes along with this. It is a physical reinforcement that we messed up before and is a sacrificial sign that we are sorry to God. Yes, God loves mercy over sacrifice, but sometimes humans need to work it out and work through it to get to the mercy in their own heart, to make our heart contrite.
And praying to Mary is something I do not do, though I wear what looks like a huge rosary around my neck daily. I have no need to pray to Mary because I pray to my Lord.
I can't edit my posts properly on this device.
erm, let's see ...my biggest gripe with god is that he apparently created the heavens and the Earth... You know what else he created? Light and dark, and good and evil.
This dude totally created everything, including all the suffering in the world... I just don't think I can be thankful for that.
In fact... It causes me to feel a hell lot of resentment.
When there was only one set of footprints.. Thats when God carried you.
Really now. Maybe if he didn't create this bullshit in the first place he wouldn't need to carry me.
I'm just rambling now.. I do have questions for you, I just need a coffee first.
I understand. And there are many more highly educated and trained theologians than me, but what I do know is that while God created the darkness, He also insulated us from it--at the Beginning. It was temptation (the serpent) that bred desire (thought in Eve's mind that she could be smart like God AND enjoy the forbidden fruit) coming together that affected all mankind thereafter.
We see this in ourselves today. We need not blame God for all the sin in the world. He states clearly in His commandments He wants us to love each other. Yet we hurt each other, as we hurt. It is ironic that to prove ourselves worthy of God means to say we are not worthy. That we need help. That we are beyond our own repair. He just wants our love and to be in relationship to Him. We have a hard time with this submission because we have believed in satan's lie that we can have equality in all things! What a worldly notion! There is no Biblical notion of equality with God. God is ruler supreme, but because we didn't personally vote Him into office, or get to dictate His agenda, many have a problem with Him.
I know as a parent, my relationship with my children cannot be on their terms.
Otherwise there would be no bedtimes and game would be played 24/7. Junk food would be the primary staple. My kids have to submit to my authority for knowing what is best for them. And they should love me in that, and be thankful. That is the same way it is with the Father. But we are rebellious children who want what we want when we want it. Then we whine when He takes the keys to the car away from us.
God doesn't want us to do things the hard way. That is a worldly statement and a worldly notion. He gave us a HUGE guidebook that tells us how to live in bliss and peace, with abundance. We have only ourselves to blame if we choose not to.
And the OT and NT WAS very different. That is why He was so good to send us Jesus, because we were hurting and needed a savior! We have Him now, so sacrifice for us doesn't mean blood-letting anymore, but submission of our will to Christ, and God. And mercy and unconditional love for others.
Note: This is just one of the answers we discussed at the seminary I'm attending. I'm not saying I'm right, it's just what I've learned so far. I'm also assuming we're talking about theology and not the worn-out "there is/is no god" argument.
Let's just go with the knowledge of good and evil. The context there was obedience. There was just one, very simple and very clear test (Gen. 2:16) AND STILL ADAM f*cked up.
If God does have a "sin", it is that He trusts us way too much. Each time the Biblical humankind sinned He never obliterates them completely, there's always a "remnant" which can start anew and do right next time. He even started it at Gen. 3.
If I were in His place I'll just delete humankind, reboot the Earth and get it over with.
Now let's go to suffering and how that mini-exegetical exercise affects you and me. Guess who has the job and the free will to fix that suffering up? The blessing on Genesis 1:28 wasn't revoked. The job associated with said blessing became harder though (Gen. 3:17-19).
He did delete mankind, save for 8 holy people, which created our current chosen ones. And He said He would never do this again, until the End.
and a dog. I recently moved in to town from the country. I am a born-again Christian and I love to discuss the Bible and theology, and God. I am an avid knitter and am a professional in women's health, but am not too busy with work right now. 
