Here song plz if cba listen and opinions

[Cherry Cola]

http://picosong.com/2amJ/

I am the tenor singer, my buddy done made all the instruments and sings in the verses. I only wrote my parts. What you think?

 

[Lot]

I might not be high enough.

The instruments are alright. I like the psychedelic blue sound, with a gothic twist in the vocals. The main voice if too out of key for my taste. I think he's singing out of his comfortable range. It sounded monotone where it shouldn't. The higher, voice which I assume is you, is nice. Very Jack White/White Stripes sounding all around. It gets better half way through.

Now I want to listen to some early Sabbath

 

[TBerg]

I am not a big connoisseur of music, but I like it overall. I just can't hear the lyrics very well, but that's the case with a lot of other music to which I listen.

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

The main voice reminds me a little of micheal gira (which is good in my book)...best part is from 0:36 to 1:07, song kinda fell behind after that. Anyway, very good overall 7/10

 

[redbaron]

Sounds pretty decent. 6/10.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I might not be high enough.

The instruments are alright. I like the psychedelic blue sound, with a gothic twist in the vocals. The main voice if too out of key for my taste. I think he's singing out of his comfortable range. It sounded monotone where it shouldn't. The higher, voice which I assume is you, is nice. Very Jack White/White Stripes sounding all around. It gets better half way through.

Now I want to listen to some early Sabbath

The higher voice is mine yes :P

thanks guys!

Tberg: all my lyrics in this song are basically improvised cheap phrases like "lord knows", "I wanna get down", "I was raised for this" and "that don't mean I can't love ya baby, I do I do", they totally suck, the stuff which my friend wrote for the verses is a little better, but overall the lyrics are not that important.

Zerkalo: which voice do you mean by main voice? I never listened to Michael Gira, I searched for him on youtube and this shit was ace:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fil4L-NA4io

 

[TheManBeyond]

Man, sounds similar to La Ciudad de la Furia by Soda Stereo

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5u_iwszdHU

You sound pretty cool! maybe the song is too monotone? i usually prefer more variations instead of building power until the climatic end but that's a matter of tastes, style... etc
Like the guy of Whiplash said, it is important to push people to go beyond their limits, that's why a harsh critic is not meant to discourage you but to challege you.
I think i'll practice his philosofy for a while.
BTW, your lyrics should be something like what leonard cohen does with his stuff, they should be on top of instrumental or at least more present.

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

i meant the person who sings at the beginning. and yeah, i was thinking of god damn the sun from that album when i wrote that
edit: :0 his voice sounds a bit different in ur link. oh...its a solo album, thats why. try this one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jpVtYQIols

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

You can definitely improve. I didn't enjoy the leading vocals. Your voice was better, it seems you were trying to create or enter a mood and it was kind of working. Music and lyrics are average, given the amateurish aspects of your project I would give it a good mark overall but I wouldn't listen to it again.

 

[cheese]

It has a lot of attitude. I enjoyed it. I can't really tell the difference between it and a bunch of other famous, highly-lauded songs/artists which sound under-produced and where the vocals (the first guy) are a little monotone/off-key. The lower voice sorta sounds like one of the Three Bears complaining about his porridge. I actually thought you each provided welcome contrast to the other. (Actually, he kinda sounds like Ray's brother in Everybody Loves Raymond. I've listened to it a few times now.)

I guess the song didn't really go anywhere musically and it didn't do anything particularly innovative with the simple material it had, so in that sense there's nothing much to it. But I thought overall the track demonstrated character and attitude.

I thought your voice worked better when it wasn't going all out. I'm not sure if that's a matter of needing to refine your style at the edges of that kind of strained style, or if it's just personal preference on my part. (I'm familiar with that kind of singing and like it, generally.) I did like your singing and that you weren't restrained by the beat (the other guy was much more conservative in that respect). I heard a fair bit of expressive range and more implied. Some of the phrasing didn't sound quite convincing enough but I'd be very surprised to hear a perfect amateur song.

It'd be cool to hear another song, something you've created, and get more of a sense of your style and where your expression wants to go.

Disclaimer: I listen to very little music. I suppose I've listened to a broad enough range, but I really almost never listen to anything. Not a massive music head. I heard a fair amount of Thom Yorke and maybe some Muse in you, but maybe that's a common style? Wouldn't know.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Hm, some interesting things going on.

The instrumentation itself is decently sonically pleasing,
however, too traditional/formal/static in my opinion.
It could use some syncopation and variation here and there.
I guess it was composed using some kind of software,
so, i understand it's really hard to squeeze out a natural sounding timing.
Maybe the lead guitar is a bit too present at times,
but i like the way it's supporting your voice in the more climactic parts.

The lower vocals need some more exercise to control the drifting all over the place out of key a little better.
Best way to practice is of course together with a teacher,
may that be a professional voice trainer or a colleague who has a little more experience.
The other problem with that voice i see, is that it doesn't ring true to me,
by that i mean that the voice seems forced, somewhat uncomfortable and unnatural with the scale it tries to be in.
There's a lot of nasality and lack of expressiveness in it.
I don't know what the natural speaking voice of your friend is,
but he should work on singing in his natural key, thus become more comfortable and expressive, opening up some range and stop forcing the baritone.

Considering your part,
i'm actually very pleased.
Great range and expressiveness.
What's your background, did you have some training or does that come naturally?

I don't know who's responsible for the mix, but i think it's a good idea to make room for those things you want to really pop out.
Give the notes some space to breathe and sound less compressed.
Also, there's a lot of most probably unintended overdrive here and there.

It'd be cool to hear another song, something you've created, and get more of a sense of your style and where your expression wants to go.

Seconded.

Spoiler

What this song reminds me a little of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2OHEWZ1Dic

What could easily be achieved with a little practice:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiHxbQRHbEs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXRBLyLQtiM

Care to reveal the lyrics?

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Zerkalo: which voice do you mean by main voice? I never listened to Michael Gira, I searched for him on youtube and this shit was ace:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fil4L-NA4io

Swans, solo, Angels of Light.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I recorded my singing with my iphone and sent it to my buddy, so the sound on my singing isn't the best and it can get overly screechy. I have some other songs I could show I guess, but they are kinda old and they don't really pull in the same direction. I'm more into bluesrock with postpunk influences nowadays due to being inspired by The Gun Club. I have trained myself to be able to sing in a wide range together with my ISFJ buddy. Lately I've been practicing expressiveness rhythm diction and stuff like that. Lol I don't even know all the lyrics. One of the refrains that I sing doesn't really have lyrics because it's just something improvised that I sent as a demonstration and then we decided to go with it and I'm not talking about the one where I falsetto wail.

Here is Bronto and me and my bro: http://picosong.com/wLEH/

Here is me and my good ISFJ friend: https://soundcloud.com/rob-dum/doorsong

I don't remember all the lyrics. Hmmm. Get back to that.

Edit, here be them lyrics:

Spoiler

I will go just like the greatest go
by my own hand and nothing more
its gonna show if you are for show
just take it slow so hard to let it go

aaaooouuuaauauauah oh loooooooord
oh looooooord oouh baby I say lord wont
you come tonight and i uuuhhh

I go where dead players go
for myself, and nothing more
whatever you dont give to me
I search my soul for a mystery

(the following part is improvised and doesnt really have lyrics I just made noises I thought sounded like lyrics)
you make my heart perform just like it should
*inaudible*
and in names, names of greed, oh lord

when she comes she knows she know my name
she gets to play and gets to play my game
my fires burning and it burns so fast
oh what a fool I thought your would love would last

I wanna get down, start some violence
the only thing I ever knew
the only thing that I can do
but that don't I can't love you
lord knows I do I do

I gotta keep ya coming back
lots to live
Ah Ah I can't be fading away
I was raised raised raised for this

aooouuuuh aooouuuh aoiuuh
give me give me
auoouuuu iiiiuuuiiuiuh aoooooooouuuuh

We didn't really focus on the lyrics :P

 

[TheManBeyond]

That was much better CC!, i can see Heat as an underground hit, even if i don't really enjoy that kind of music, i mean there's quality, texture, color you created a cool atmosphere there. :P
The ballad isn't bad in my view, i just guess i'm not able to really appreciate the beautiness of it because i don't like ballads, i'm about jumping and destroying things. And i can't understand all the lyrics.

 

[Cyberpunk]

Hey guys, I'm CC's friend. Thanks for all the kind words and the less positive input as well. When I started doing this my plan was to sing everything. But CC sent some ideas and I incorporated it into the song, and the vibe really went from totally monotonous postpunk to something a lot more aggressive which was really nice.

Anyways, I guess I understand your feelings toward my style of singing and well, I guess it's okay. You should check out some of my other songs.

https://soundcloud.com/jeffreyleemarcus/god-knows-how-one-can-be-so-sureno-crackle-remix

Also, somebody said the instrumentation was decent and that's where I get defensive. The guitars are supposed to sound like they do. If you don't like it because it's too mechanical or repetitive, fine, but come on dude, you don't tell a painter how to paint and especially when you don't understand what's on the canvas.

I like constructive criticism and I can handle it but when people start talking about how I should play and what's missing from my guitar playing it just comes off as ignorant and disrespectful. It's a style and it sounds more or less exactly like I want it to.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Also, somebody said the instrumentation was decent and that's where I get defensive. The guitars are supposed to sound like they do. If you don't like it because it's too mechanical or repetitive, fine, but come on dude, you don't tell a painter how to paint and especially when you don't understand what's on the canvas.

So the popping and overdrive is intentional?
Interesting stylistic choice indeed.
I wonder why everybody else tries to eliminate those things from their mixes...
Might be cretins who don't know what they're doing...

The criticism wasn't aimed at the guitars specifically, it was aimed at song structure, mixing, technique.
There's so many beginner's errors in it, that it would be untruthful if i didn't point them out.
When you're a master painter, i won't tell you what you could improve on,
because quite simply, you have mastered your craft.
But you're not a master painter. Evidently.
You need to keep working on becoming that.
There's definitely potential there, but imagining that there's nothing to improve upon is self-defeating, to put it mildly.

The point of criticism is not intended to destroy or discourage you, it is merely intended to help you focus on improving aspects which are lacking.

I like constructive criticism and I can handle it but when people start talking about how I should play and what's missing from my guitar playing it just comes off as ignorant and disrespectful. It's a style and it sounds more or less exactly like I want it to.

I guess you'll have to re-read what i stated and what your accusations are.
You will eventually find out that they're not matching.

You won't get anything from criticism if you fail to understand what has been pointed out, because you are blinded by your emotional knee-jerk reaction.

 

[Cyberpunk]

So the popping and overdrive is intentional?
Interesting stylistic choice indeed.
I wonder why everybody else tries to eliminate those things from their mixes...
Might be cretins who don't know what they're doing...

The criticism wasn't aimed at the guitars specifically, it was aimed at song structure, mixing, technique.
There's so many beginner's errors in it, that it would be untruthful if i didn't point them out.
When you're a master painter, i won't tell you what you could improve on,
because quite simply, you have mastered your craft.
But you're not a master painter. Evidently.
You need to keep working on becoming that.
There's definitely potential there, but imagining that there's nothing to improve upon is self-defeating, to put it mildly.

The point of criticism is not intended to destroy or discourage you, it is merely intended to help you focus on improving aspects which are lacking.



I guess you'll have to re-read what i stated and what your accusations are.
You will eventually find out that they're not matching.

You won't get anything from criticism if you fail to understand what has been pointed out, because you are blinded by your emotional knee-jerk reaction.

What emotional knee-jerk reaction are you talking about? I just shared my thoughts but you get all aggressive. Stop misinterpreting what I'm saying, no wonder you don't connect with my music if you can't understand what I'm writing to you.

I'm grateful for the input, I'm pushing myself to improve on all aspects and it's encouraging to be taken seriously. But I had to address all the talk about variation, natural sounding timing etc and explain my side of it. I wasn't talking about the crackling. I was talking about when people in general can't differ between technical aspects and artistic expression. Sure, in one way the production is bad, on the other hand, in its own right it's really good postpunk blues and it sounds a lot like the gun club.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

What emotional knee-jerk reaction are you talking about? I just shared my thoughts but you get all aggressive. Stop misinterpreting what I'm saying, no wonder you don't connect with my music if you can't understand what I'm writing to you.

See, i wasn't aggressive, that's what you read into it.
And there is a reason why you read that into it.
And you still haven't figured it out.

I'm grateful for the input, I'm pushing myself to improve on all aspects and it's encouraging to be taken seriously. But I had to address all the talk about variation, natural sounding timing etc and explain my side of it. I wasn't talking about the crackling. I was talking about when people in general can't differ between technical aspects and artistic expression. Sure, in one way the production is bad, on the other hand, in its own right it's really good postpunk blues and it sounds a lot like the gun club.

So, i said i suspect the song sounding the way it sounds because it was composed with software.
Is that true or not?
Technical issues always have an impact on expression.
There's no way around it.

 

[TheManBeyond]

Sure, in one way the production is bad, on the other hand, in its own right it's really good postpunk blues and it sounds a lot like the gun club.

I loled at this, not because i think you said something stupid but because if i were you, i would be so unpleased by knowing that to myself i sound like another band.
I mean, i understand when people come to me and say: damn you sound kinda like this band and i really enjoy seeing the similarities they see. That's great and in fact really entertaining.
What i hate is to compare myself to other bands and to think that sounding like them is cool. For me it is like not giving yourself enough credit or like starting from the point of equaling some superior standard already set, that's bullshit, i'm me and i'm superior in every sense to any begining or end. To think that something i wrote sounds similar to something else would mean i need to re evaluate the whole purpose of my existance. lol. Hard to explain.

 

[Cyberpunk]

See, i wasn't aggressive, that's what you read into it.
And there is a reason why you read that into it.
And you still haven't figured it out.



So, i said i suspect the song sounding the way it sounds because it was composed with software.
Is that true or not?
Technical issues always have an impact on expression.
There's no way around it.

I use cubase yes, and a program for the drums. And the bass is a guitar pitched down one octave.

 

[TheManBeyond]

^ i use cubase too :3

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Had a little time on my hands today and decided to have a little innocent fun: reversed and pitch-shifted the song.

Pretty creepy results:
[MP3]http://k003.kiwi6.com/hotlink/px5hl5d4bx/backwards.mp3
[/MP3]

[howling]

hear me
hear me

[howling]

inhale the fumes
loops loops of what

you don't wanna have a porridge to fuck
fuck

here's some

lame old fool
quickly strike her

who is down is down

slowly poisoned

you don't lick
i had a name close beheaded

who hasn't powdered
a wife in white
in olive and white

helpless thoughts
i'm thinking of what

sarcophagus thoughts
salute, frow

who's looking at you now
you hear us now

yeah down here
good stone
here
good stone (ancient)

yeah lover du jour
leech blood, leech now

strike now on her head
stronger

he doesn't yell
speed in the end of it

oh no
spoilt the living girl

hangmen in robes lift their veil
ain't his brother in law a sadist

lurid she dances
off with her head and wig

he was a wolf
who worked some traps out

he played mandolin with her head off

who could have done this

it's a wolf

who drifted off to god

[howling]

oh the early cow was lusty and sweet
whose subordinate rewards in axing

who's behind me
now
you are about

who will do the black cow
single old guan

 

[Cherry Cola]

perpetual buffering argh

 

[TheManBeyond]

yeah indeed, i engage the protest

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

perpetual buffering argh

should work now,
i had accidentally set it to "private".

 

[Cherry Cola]

lol sounds pretty cool in places, dem nice lyrics tho