Help! Conversation topics!

[Emerald]

So I got myself into a bit of a predicament. I'm going to a restaurant with a family friend, I guess I can consider her my friend as well, but we're not really close. I'm in my late teens and she's in her 30s, I think. Long story short, I did a big favor for her and she wanted to thank me, I felt uncomfortable taking money, so I suggested going out for dinner. It hit me that I've no idea what to talk to her about since we don't really have a lot in common. We aren't super close or anything, so I can't really talk about philosophical, deep things (don't know how she would react to that), besides I think she might be an ES**, but she's not so extroverted as to talk the entire time and leave me to nodding.

Any suggestions for possible conversation topics? And not just in this situation, but if I ever have to converse with another adult, what can I talk about? Not politics, I don't follow what's goingoing on irl.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

MBTI and the weather.

Nah seriously idk really because I'm pretty terrible with conversing as well.

 

[Creeping Death]

I did a big favor for her and she wanted to thank me

Let's hear about it.

 

[The Gopher]

What are you passionate about? Other than that just say "Yeah! and" to everything she says and hope you come up with something to say.

 

[Minuend]

I find it easiest to pay attention to what the other person say and by that figure out what s/he likes to talk about and is interested in. That was I can mainly ask questions and comment on similar topics, keeping the conversation going.

 

[Rixus]

If she's an ES she'll make it easy for you. The simplest trick is to ask her about herself - but don't make it an interrogation; just make it seem like your interested in knowing these inane details. Just think of any detail you can. Asking where they're from is a simple opening. I once had almost an hour long conversation with some I had nothing in common with simply by asking if they had always lived there - to which they told me they'd grown up moving around military bases with their family, so it was really easy to just keep asking questions and avoid the uncomfortable silence.

People often like being asked about themselves - it was a trick I got taught on a customer care course to make a customer feel more comfortable when I'm stuck alone with them. It actually works for dates and social events to. Just keep asking and picking out details from what she's said, hen ask another question about the details she's just given you. Just avoid anything she that's too intrusive - keep it surface stuff if you will and nothing too personal. Where she comes from, what she does for a living, maybe how she knows or met your family is a good one.

And if you can find some hobby or interest while your at it, use that. I have a friend who likes to talk about scented candles a lot. Everyone is passionate about something. It works on most.

 

[Sinny91]

Just cancel the dinner and take the cash, dur.

What are a 30 yo woman and a teenager going to talk about? Your wet dreams?

what sort of teenager, who doesn't belong in the 50's, asks for dinner?

Smooth.

 

[Cognisant]

Don't worry, don't think about it, just relax and talk about whatever you like and if she's not interested in it she'll take the conversation in a different direction. If things are going well let her know you think she's attractive and don't decline when she asks you if you'd like a lift home or to go back to her place.

 

[Rixus]

Just cancel the dinner and take the cash, dur.

What are a 30 yo woman and a teenager going to talk about? Your wet dreams?

what sort of teenager, who doesn't belong in the 50's, asks for dinner?

Smooth.

This from someone with your dating history?
What did you have to talk the Gramps about, exactly? (Not that I really want an answer to that, I'm just making a point)

Who knows - maybe it's because he really wants to go to a specific restaurant. Maybe he wants the bragging rights of pretending to his mates it's a date. It ain't my job to judge and I don't see anyone getting hurt. Well, unless his parents think there's something fishy about it and get all nasty, I suppose. Anyway he asked a question, it was answered.

Personally, I probably wouldn't have felt comfortable taking the money or the dinner. I rarely want anything in return for a favour. But I don't know the circumstances or whether she just wants it even.

I would say to be careful as she is probably thinking he thinks it a date and odds are will feel quite uncomfortable with that. Or should do, anyway.

 

[Sinny91]

Evidently , "what's there to talk about" wasn't an issue... where as evidently, it's already an issue here.

I'm not socially awkward, seeking conversational prompts from strangers online.

So you can take your point and shove it up your out of shape ass.

 

[Rixus]

He's just a teenager realising he's gotten himself into a pickle and is panicking. I was pretty socially awkward at that age. Heck, I'm pretty bad now.

(And it's still a really nice ass, )

 

[Sinny91]

And I'm just an adult giving the OP some pragmatic advice.

FYI, I was 23 when dating Gramps and women naturally have +5 years maturity on BOYS, who are mostly still infantile until their 30's.

 

[Rixus]

Granted. In most cases, that's perfectly true. And perhaps it was a little out of line to bring that up but I was just demonstrating that opposite age differences get a different reaction. Perhaps that is down you being an actual adult at the time. It would certainly, in this case, be a little strange if she considered it a date. But we don't know the nature of their relationship so it's difficult to comment on it in that way (I don't mean relationship in that way).

The only equivalent I can relate it to is probably my 16yo sister in law. Or ex-sister in law I suppose but she helps her mother out with the kids a lot so I still think of her as family. I don't think I'd feel comfortable with taking her to dinner, really. But like I said, I don't know much about the situation so I don't feel I can comment.

 

[Emerald]

Just cancel the dinner and take the cash, dur.

What are a 30 yo woman and a teenager going to talk about? Your wet dreams?

what sort of teenager, who doesn't belong in the 50's, asks for dinner?

Smooth.

Just fyi...I'm a girl...

 

[Rixus]

Suddenly all weirdness disappears. In our defence, everyone assumed otherwise. The fun of anonymous forums, eh?

My advice on gentle quizzing is still valid. Even more so, really. And we'd still like to know how it goes.

 

[PmjPmj]

Sounds like a cradle snatcher.

Get in there, son!

 

[Rixus]

Sounds like a cradle snatcher.

Get in there, son!

Lol - didn't you see the debate? Emerald is a she, not a he. Crazy how everyone assumed that. The OP actually makes more sense if you read it back in a girls voice.

 

[Sinny91]

Menstrual cycles then.

I left the options open in my mind.

So Rixus can speak for himself alone.

If you notice, I referred to the OP as OP rather than select a pronoun.

 

[Turnevies]

Ask open questions as much as possible, which she can answer the way she want to.

 

[Rixus]

I have learned today that "wet dreams" is a gender neutral term.

I mean obviously, girls have dreams of a private nature. Everyone does. That being said, I'm fairly certain they're not a usual dinner topic with a family friend.

 

[Sinny91]

Wet dreams was posed as a question.

If you want to maintain technicalities.

 

[Cognisant]

Nothing wrong with a young guy being educated by an older woman, indeed I think women in their thirties should go after late teen and young adult guys, teach them how to be gentlemen.

Likewise older men can teach young women how to be dignified ladies.

Leaving young men and women to figure it out themselves now there's potential for disaster.

 

[Emerald]

Lol - didn't you see the debate? Emerald is a she, not a he. Crazy how everyone assumed that. The OP actually makes more sense if you read it back in a girls voice.

Thank you!

 

[Rixus]

Thank you!

I think this just goes back to an earlier thread about the generally biased assumption that women are just more emotional than men. And T-doms (Thinking dominants) type in a far more emotionally neutral way. So when a T-dom speaks, it's often generally assumed that they are male when there are no other cues (like name or avatar). It shows that even those of us who are aware of it and try to avoid this even fall into bias sometimes. In retrospect, the references to closeness should have been a clue (which was why I said it makes more sense.)

 

[QuickTwist]

Give her your dick, she'll love that.