Happiness as an INTP

[Ink]

How does the pursuit of happiness differ for INTPs compared to other types? Is it all about finding a career where our natural assets are valued or is there more to it?

 

[Etheri]

If you're looking for euphoria, strong emotions of happiness, I do not know. (drugs might do it? alcohol and weed don't.) If you're just looking to be happy, as in content with life, I think it's something that can be 'easily' achieved, but 'impossible' to maintain. By that I mean you'll never be happy all the time, no matter how hard you try. You can be content most of the time, simply by thinking and pursuing your own personal goals. Give yourself the time and space to do so, never push yourself or stress yourself. I know people say it's good to have high expectations of yourself, to push your limits, but I do not agree. Do what is necessary, then do what you like. Enjoy yourself, at all times.

While 'getting a career where our natural assets are valued' would be a nice start and a good thing to have, by no means is this equal to happiness. We live up to standards. Our own standards, set by our expectations. We all want happiness, but we seek it in various places. We all find it, and yet nobody truly does. Some want money, some want power, some want relationships, the list goes on. The truth is, it's not about any of these things. It's about 'getting what you want'. And once you get it, you'll be happy for a while, and then you'll desire more / something else. While you can realise this chain of events releasing drugs into your brain, you cannot escape it. (Doing actual drugs is a subpar bypass at best.) That being said, you can influence this chain of events heavily.

So I assume your question is which are our desires, as opposed to other types. Again, we all want the same. We all, somewhere, want to be and feel loved, and we want to love others too. We all want good jobs, and we all want to be appreciated. (And for the serial killers, we all want to kill that annoying neighbour.) It only becomes truly important, however, when we expect these things. When we pursuit them.

As INTPs, I assume most of us claim we don't need or want relationships simply because we have a difficult time finding and maintaining them, so we believe they're just 'not for us'. Since we're not emotionally strong, they're also simply difficult. We are good at intelligence, however. I'm sure alot of us aim for the pursuit of knowledge, being recognised by others in this could be, but does not have to be a factor. We choose our pursuits based upon what we're good at, what we do and drives us, and in turn we depend our happiness on our pursuits. You choose your pursuits. You choose your happiness.

The most important thing regarding happiness, however, is valuing things properly. Imagine you do not pursue a relationship, because... INTP, and instead strive for knowledge. But somehow, you end up having a good relationship, you get a family and lose track of your pursuit of knowing all the things. And then your midlife crisis of not having completed your teenage dreams hits you. I ask you, should you be unhappy because you got a great wife and two kids instead of winning a nobel prize, or just be happy with the things you've gotten, while you can still pursue everything else you want? The only thing stopping you from doing all the things you'd ever want is time. Because there's only one constant... It's never enough, we always want more.

The key to happiness is to happiness is to control your desires and to value what you have.

 

[TriflinThomas]

For me, happiness is being able to pursue my interests, loving someone, being loved, and having security.

 

[redbaron]

How does the pursuit of happiness differ for INTPs compared to other types? Is it all about finding a career where our natural assets are valued or is there more to it?

I don't know if it has as much to do with how we are valued, as opposed to how free we are to pursue the things we want in the way we want to pursue it - with people who are supportive of this.

Speaking of careers specifically: I think that being valued only brings happiness if the concept of value for both parties (employer and employee) are mutually beneficial. A boss might really value your results, but not be able to understand and value your requirement to work mostly alone and to not be constricted by a set schedule or time-frame on everything.

For example: after several months of achieving targets and expectations, I would expect that my boss has the intelligence and foresight to see the value in leaving me to my own devices.

I enjoy achieving targets, but I don't enjoy when people talk about how great a job I did or how they liked my ideas and my work. To me the enjoyment comes from being given the confidence from my boss to work on my own, independent of his/her plans or ideas.

If you have a work environment that allows you to devise and implement your ideas, without having to jump through the political hoops of the work environment, you'll be relatively satisfied. It will largely depend on how perceptive your immediate superiors are of your ability to analyse and find meaning in objective data. If they brush aside your ideas or they try to micro-manage you, try to get you to follow their schedule - things can (will) become problematic.

The best way to avoid this is to simply avoid mistakes and to give them a report on your progress at regular intervals. Funnily enough, I found it easier to achieve the former as opposed to the latter. Initially my boss wanted me to give him a plan at the start of the day, but at the start of the day, I really had no idea what I wanted to do yet, as I pretty much jump from task to task and complete them in no set order.

My way around it was to report at the end of the day everything I had done. Then from that breakdown of what was done during my day, I would revisit the topics in my head and any problems that I needed him to fix on his end (pull some strings, authorize a purchase etc.) I would dot point in a separate paragraph.

It had a dual-effect in that it gave my superiors confidence that I was utilizing my time effectively, while also letting them know exactly what help I needed from them. Essentially I taught my bosses how to manage me effectively.

Another positive is that it was sort of like giving myself a pat on the back. There are days at work where you sometimes feel like you achieved nothing you wanted to, but when you break down what you managed to achieve even on a bad day, it is rewarding.

 

[7even]

If you're looking for euphoria, strong emotions of happiness, I do not know. (drugs might do it? alcohol and weed don't.) I

@Etheri

Just wondering; when you say 'alcohol and weed don't' is that specifically for INTPs? - and if so, why?

 

[Etheri]

@Etheri

Just wondering; when you say 'alcohol and weed don't' is that specifically for INTPs? - and if so, why?

I simply haven't witnessed nor experienced euphoria induced by alcohol or weed. Alcohol doesn't induce any strong emotions on me at all, tho I've witnessed them on others (primary anger, but if horny is considered a feeling you can add that aswell.), strong emotions on weed certainly occur, both good and bad, I've just not gotten to the point of euphoria... Then again, enhanced happiness isn't too rare on weed. As far as weed goes, i'm by no means an expert, but as far as i've tried it, it only really 'enhanced' my feelings, it doesn't change them. If i'm happy, it makes me happier, but it won't fix me when i'm sad, while i might just stop caring, i might also just get to feel worse. My point was even traditional drugs won't promise you an effect of 'FUCK YEAH, THIS IS AWESOME.' Or perhaps I simply never get outbursts.

 

[7even]

I simply haven't witnessed nor experienced euphoria induced by alcohol or weed. Alcohol doesn't induce any strong emotions on me at all, tho I've witnessed them on others (primary anger, but if horny is considered a feeling you can add that aswell.), strong emotions on weed certainly occur, both good and bad, I've just not gotten to the point of euphoria... Then again, enhanced happiness isn't too rare on weed. As far as weed goes, i'm by no means an expert, but as far as i've tried it, it only really 'enhanced' my feelings, it doesn't change them. If i'm happy, it makes me happier, but it won't fix me when i'm sad, while i might just stop caring, i might also just get to feel worse. My point was even traditional drugs won't promise you an effect of 'FUCK YEAH, THIS IS AWESOME.' Or perhaps I simply never get outbursts.

Right, I've known a couple of people who seem to experience euphoria on weed (I have an ENFP friend in mind), depends on the dosage too; in my case I don't experience euphoria either though, I've had periods of it doing the exact opposite, so I do it less frequently to get a good buzz. So I think functions are a pretty significant factor on... subjective reactions to drugs. That seems pretty obvious though.

With alcohol, as well as the anger and hornyness, I think I do experience happiness, and perhaps short bursts of euphoria (due to being extremely hyperactive?) Although it's hard to distinguish what exactly it is I am feeling now that I think about it. I mean, can't lust influence and stimulate euphoria? In addition to hyperactivity? The feelings all seem linked to me.

I agree to an extent, the only time I get the effect of 'FUCK YEAH, THIS IS AWESOME' is when I try something new, once I become familiar with the drug, I progressively lose enthusiasm.

 

[Brontosaurie]

typical INTP skepticism and cynicism to begin discussing drugs. I will gladly partake. the funniest drug is DiPT. it makes every sound lower in pitch and somehow zoomed yet blurred and granulated at the same time. I recommend this in conjunction with Snoop Dogg and Love (the band; perhaps the act too).

the most profoundly purging, enlightening and rejuvenating drug is 2-CB. for me as an INTP it showed personality functions I've barely touched before or since. mainly I felt an intense emotional unity with myself and the world simultaneously and I felt more adept at conveying my feelings through words, prosody, intonation, nuances not conceived - as is common - for the sake of impressive ornament or analytical precision, but for the sake of communicating what was important to me, the naked self, in that moment. that is, words brought me closer to my surroundings instead of acting as a distancing factor, a shield. yet I felt no less capable of forming intricate thought patterns. in fact their visual and intuitive side was greatly enhanced. LSD, Mescaline and 5-MeO-MiPT have similar effects.

as for real, managable, long-term happiness I have no clue. quite sincerely I know few people more capable of being unwell than myself.

our type tends to hide depression and subject it to black humor and silliness in order to make it more interesting and tolerable, when perhaps we should be more honest. but then again who could understand what we are convinced is a deeply personal moral, metaphysical, logical, political issue and not at all a social and biological one.

 

[Dapper Dan]

I think the typical INTP "pursuit" of happiness isn't really much of a pursuit at all. I'm generally pretty content with what I've got. There are only a few things that I might consider actually going after, but I doubt any of that will happen until I get sufficiently bored with the way things are. Happiness for most people tends to involve relaxation, and I'm pretty good at that.

 

[Etheri]

@Everyone commenting about the drugs part, that was not quite the goal of my post. I just haven't found euphoria, even in those. Personal experience. q-q

 

[PhoenixRising]

Happiness is SCIENCE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZIVmKOdrBk

Actually, I am happy when I'm learning something new or putting my knowledge to use in helping someone else. I guess it boils down to, I'm happy when I'm useful.

 

[doncarlzone]

@Everyone commenting about the drugs part, that was not quite the goal of my post. I just haven't found euphoria, even in those. Personal experience. q-q

Well euphoria is just a chemical reaction in your brain that doesn't even last that long. It's the sort of reaction that makes you do stuff like this:

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg35/scaled.php?server=35&filename=2m6saz4jpg.gif&res=landing

Sure it is an incredibly nice feeling and it feels like it will last forever, sort of the exact opposite of feeling like shit. I can think of two episodes in my life where I had this sort of feeling, one was when I got my first promotion. Upon receiving the offer I went to bathroom and smiled pathetically in the mirror. Of course the feeling fades away quicker than you can imagine (sometimes a few days) and it makes you think quite irrationally too.

Most lotto-winners are back to a normal emotional state really quickly too. So are people who get paralyzed. Can take weeks though I would consider that fast.

Nobody wants to hang around people in euphoria anyway, they are incredibly annoying.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

I want to know everything. I don't believe that I will ever be completely happy until I know everything there is to know.

 

[Polaris]

I really don't know if I understand happiness yet.

It's like the peak of a sine wave, one can more or less predict the pattern depending on the wavelength, frequency and amplitude. It seems like an unnatural state to be in for any length of time. I think some sort of contentment is possible if one can free oneself from the boundaries of conditioned and compulsive thinking; it opens up the pathways of creative thinking.

 

[Cognisant]

Happiness is SCIENCE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZIVmKOdrBk

Actually, I am happy when I'm learning something new or putting my knowledge to use in helping someone else. I guess it boils down to, I'm happy when I'm useful.

You get a potentially infinite number of internet points.

 

[Paws]

Happiness is SCIENCE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZIVmKOdrBk

Actually, I am happy when I'm learning something new or putting my knowledge to use in helping someone else. I guess it boils down to, I'm happy when I'm useful.

Yess, it's all about problem solving....!!
And thanks for the link

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

If I made everyone on this planet happy because I did something , and no one knew who did it. I would remain anonymous,unknown. I would be fine.
But for quick serotonin rush I listen to Cannon in D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Af372EQLck

 

[hopeandpray]

I think that since so much of the INTP world is internal that to find happiness in the sense of contentment, is mainly about self-acceptance. To understand yourself and be cool with it is pretty important.
As for happiness in the euphoric, non-stop laughter sense, that requires an appreciation of mindless joy. INTPs need to be able to stop being serious and over-thinking. Just be able to switch it off from time to time. They need people that accept and need to embrace their spontaneous side.

 

[Richman0829]

Being financially independent is a big help. If a job is less than ideal, which describes most jobs, it's a good first step to have "fuck this" money to fall back on. One of my favorite books, Voyaging on a Small Income, shows how one couple accomplished this on a permanent basis. I think INTPs, being less materialistic than most, can benefit from this approach. For myself, a nearby library is all I really need. Once one is independent, a life of serendipity can begin, and any boredom is of short duration and easily corrected, with a minimum of constraints and interruptions from others.

 

[skip]

In order for me to be happy I need a meeting of the minds with those around me, at work, home, church, wherever I spend time. Without that I feel sad and lonely.

 

[Richman0829]

Not to put you down or anything, but what you say doesn't sound INTP-ish! At some point everyone wants to feel validated, but my take was that INTPs are like camels and don't need to stop at that watering hole very often at all.

 

[skip]

It's not a validation as much as a connection. If every landscape in my life were devoid of intellectual compatibility that'd be a dreary existence indeed.

 

[Richman0829]

Got it - thanks. Sometimes I could use a kick in the seat of the pants to get me away from my cherished books and movies. I'm sure there are quite a few neighbors (not co-workers, since I'm retired) I would enjoy knowing better. It's just the difficulty and awkwardness of separating the wheat from the chaff, and the appearance or reality of coldness on my part in considering that discrimination, that holds me back. Boring books don't mind being closed and returned to the library.