Giving too much information.

[Dimensional Transition]

Sometimes when in the heat of a fun conversation I tell some things about myself I would never normally tell to someone, and then in the end I will feel a bit ashamed and feel as if I have exposed myself too much. It makes me feel weak. I've told this to the people I've had this with, but they say they didn't end up thinking less or more of me from the information I gave them, but it still doesn't feel right to me.
I'm talking about life stories here, or interests I have, secret observations I make... Whatever.

I'm not sure why I wanted to post this, probably to see if others experience this too, and how often they experience this then.

 

[crippli]

but they say they didn't end up thinking less or more of me from the information I gave them, but it still doesn't feel right to me.

Seems it was irrelevant then? less is probably even preferable to(o) no difference?

I like to perfume with anecdotes too. Don't see the big deal. As long as it's relevant. But as you indicate, it could be a waste of time.

 

[Zmaster]

On a dare I was told to embrace the " Darkside of the Force"so to speak and when I said what the hell, I really did find something I could not tell anyone out of fear that it would change the world for the worse or land me in a mental institution. So if your just sweating some fantasy I say let it rip because you have "Nothing" to lose. However if you ever read a certain book I will leave "unnamed" and it tells you to read it only once I do suggest that you heed the warning!!!

 

[BigApplePi]

Sometimes when in the heat of a fun conversation I tell some things about myself I would never normally tell to someone, and then in the end I will feel a bit ashamed and feel as if I have exposed myself too much. It makes me feel weak. I've told this to the people I've had this with, but they say they didn't end up thinking less or more of me from the information I gave them, but it still doesn't feel right to me.
I'm talking about life stories here, or interests I have, secret observations I make... Whatever.

I'm not sure why I wanted to post this, probably to see if others experience this too, and how often they experience this then.

DT. I definitely have done this, sometimes spontaneously, sometimes deliberately. I've embarrassed myself and felt the fool. Depends a lot on the audience. This forum is very receptive to that kind of thing. I wouldn't worry too much about that here. But outside I've learned to consider who the audience is. Very important.

 

[final-dimension]

DT. I definitely have done this, sometimes spontaneously, sometimes deliberately. I've embarrassed myself and felt the fool. Depends a lot on the audience. This forum is very receptive to that kind of thing. I wouldn't worry too much about that here. But outside I've learned to consider who the audience is. Very important.

Yup،،،

 

[notrightnow]

Ah yes...
Accidental over-disclosure followed by a complete shut down is how it usually goes for me.

 

[BigApplePi]

Alright. I will over-disclose with this story. I was out on a double date of nerds. The date went okay. It was the 2nd date I ever had in my life and I was 21 or 22 years old. The date ended and my buddy was French kissing his girlfriend. I had just met my date. So I stood there embarrassed and had no idea what to say to her. I felt I HAD to say something. After all look what my buddy was doing. So I blurted out, "I'm sorry I can't kiss you goodnight. I have a cold." Those were my exact words ... decades ago. She looked a little dismayed and I'm sure it's long forgotten. But I couldn't forget what a fool I was. Later I found out she liked me but I never saw her again.

 

[Trebuchet]

Certainly I have done this. The revealed items weren't necessarily a big deal, or shameful, but they were things I didn't remember deciding to share. Some were more personal than I realized, until later reflection. Others were my honest opinion when I hadn't intended to be quite that honest.

It makes things awkward, doesn't it? Oddly, the other person rarely even remembers it.

That was a bittersweet and adorable story, BAP.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

No, I have the opposite problem.

However sometimes I'll share small anecdotes that will stun other people, and I will be stunned at their being stunned. At this point I'll realize I have no accurate concept of normal.

I also tend feel like I'm lying when I'm pointedly not, which often goes hand in hand with the above.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Alright. I will over-disclose with this story. I was out on a double date of nerds. The date went okay. It was the 2nd date I ever had in my life and I was 21 or 22 years old. The date ended and my buddy was French kissing his girlfriend. I had just met my date. So I stood there embarrassed and had no idea what to say to her. I felt I HAD to say something. After all look what my buddy was doing. So I blurted out, "I'm sorry I can't kiss you goodnight. I have a cold." Those were my exact words ... decades ago. She looked a little dismayed and I'm sure it's long forgotten. But I couldn't forget what a fool I was. Later I found out she liked me but I never saw her again.

Haha, sounds pretty familiar. I feel sorry for you man... It was years ago though, right?

It makes things awkward, doesn't it? Oddly, the other person rarely even remembers it.

Exactly, they didn't even notice that it was awkward for us to tell, really strange.

 

[Trebuchet]

I also tend feel like I'm lying when I'm pointedly not, which often goes hand in hand with the above.

I never gave this much thought, but it happens to me, too. What is that all about? I've sometimes wondered if I would appear to be lying on a polygraph.

 

[cheese]

Hm, exactly what Adaire said, especially RE the lying. Why is that? Perhaps we're not being 100% precise, as we'd like to be? I've found that by continually distracting myself I have little concept of accuracy anymore, and it does help most of the time. But then what I say no longer has any value, but I have little concept of value anymore either.

I think I've mentioned this before here - it's Airport Bomb Syndrome. Whenever I go through customs/scanning machine I'm convinced I'm smuggling drugs or a bomb, and any minute they're going to discover it. It's lessened a little recently, but it was quite amusing/troublesome for a while. I think this is probably the same thing? I guess the brain gets an idea and runs with it + we're never 100% sure of anything. So especially when we're trying to prove our innocence (or something similar), which is where pointed honesty comes in, we'll be showing more conviction than we're used to showing - hence the triggering of uncertainty. Juxtaposed against our conviction we feel dishonest.

 

[Zmaster]

Since we tend to be in our brains more then others when we become really good at imagination techniques we can sometimes trick our brains into thinking that our imaginations are real. When taken to extremes we can become completely delusional. I know this from personal experience. What would happen if you thought the new movie "The Adjustment Bureau" was actually real!

 

[BigApplePi]

I will put the "Adjustment Bureau" on my list just to see if I believe it real while I watch it. Who knows what 2 hours will do to one?

 

[Fallenman]

I have Adaire's problem, although I don't understand the lying bit.

I tend to be stunned to find people are stunned, but then my mistake is explained or elucidated in some way, and I realize my mistake (but often times don't fix it). I've been told that I have a very matter of fact way of saying outrageous things as if it were no more significant than the weather. But that only amuses me =].

 

[Zmaster]

Which book did Nietzsche say that because I love his works and must have overlooked it?

 

[terraxceles]

I can relate, OP.

It's the same when someone asks "how are you?" and I say, "I'm good, could be better, been a little depressed lately" and then I think, man I should have just said, "I'm good."

I'm trying to minimize this, though. I've developed a strategy to reveal as little about myself as I possibly can, to protect myself from feeling like an idiot. And it works well on a subjective level, but quite often, my reluctance in divulging my personal life comes off as arrogance or aloofness to others, neither of which I truly mean.

 

[anyaa]

Sometimes when in the heat of a fun conversation I tell some things about myself I would never normally tell to someone, and then in the end I will feel a bit ashamed and feel as if I have exposed myself too much. It makes me feel weak. I've told this to the people I've had this with, but they say they didn't end up thinking less or more of me from the information I gave them, but it still doesn't feel right to me.
I'm talking about life stories here, or interests I have, secret observations I make... Whatever.

I'm not sure why I wanted to post this, probably to see if others experience this too, and how often they experience this then.

Happened a hell lot of times to me ...

But earlier (like some 1-2 yrs back my reaction was much similar to you , I felt ashamed , cursed myself for having spoken a lot ; but the plus point was that I learned a lesson from that..I expose my inner-self (rarely though) to a very very small circle of my friends and parents..not anyone else is permitted into it... I feel it actually strengthens the bond between me and my close mates) .. Its like it doesn't matter what I share with the people I love.

and I actually don't ever remember me having broken my LAW, after I decided on what I made it (LAW=restrict my inner self to my close mates and parents) .. I am constantly surrounded by the fear that I will break it in times of over-excitement.

 

[Fallenman]

Rofl, on terraxceles's explanation I actually agree with the OP now. When I tell stories I often give way too much detail about things I've made intuitive leaps about that comes off as creepy (as if I spent way too much time thinking about it), or I'll give away a lot about myself in some other way in describing a situation. I blame this on the immaturity of my Fe, or at least I feel like it only happens when my emotions begin to slip out of control for whatever reason lol. Agreed. Too much info.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Been there, done that, somehow survived it. I think it's part of being human more than part of being an INTP, but, who knows.

Dave

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I can relate, OP.

It's the same when someone asks "how are you?" and I say, "I'm good, could be better, been a little depressed lately" and then I think, man I should have just said, "I'm good."

I'm trying to minimize this, though. I've developed a strategy to reveal as little about myself as I possibly can, to protect myself from feeling like an idiot. And it works well on a subjective level, but quite often, my reluctance in divulging my personal life comes off as arrogance or aloofness to others, neither of which I truly mean.

I always do this, sounds VERY familiar. It's like instead of saying 'I'm good' I always say: 'I am alright, could be better, could be worse. I've been feeling pretty bad for the whole year... Actually, I still don't have an intimate relationship yet, too, I've been looking for that for so long. And I'm still not comfortable with my own realizations and theories...'
And then I think to myself: 'AAAAARGH, you selfish prick, you're over exposing others to your negative energy waaay too much, calm down, calm down.'

Et cetera et cetera, it must sound familiar to you, I hope.

 

[17pounder]

Aww man, I do this all the time. I hate it, but Im driven to spread knowledge and experiences, and for some reason I have this feeling like perhaps the knowledge will help others who go through the same thing. Sad thing is that we all know that other people could give less of a crap, and will not learn from what we have to say.
What makes it worse for me is that I have gone through so much crap, I have a friggin novel to explain to people when they get involved in my life.
It does make me feel so much better that I am not the only one, I used to be so ashamed of it. Its nice to know Im not the only one, especially when its someone like you who is bringing it up. Its such a relief.