Getting along with Extraverts

[Microtonalist]

Do you get along well with extraverts? For my part, although a few of my closest friends are extraverts, I tend have trouble with strongly extraverted people. They usually think I'm weird and anti-social, and I usually find them annoying and superficial.
I'm actually a fairly social person, and I enjoy stimulating conversation and good times with people with whom I have things in common. But I find that I have often have serious problems relating to, or even just being around, loud, boisterous, or even overly outgoing people.
Anyone else? Coping strategies for dealing with such people?

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Even extroverts hate the loud boisterous types tbh.

I haven't figured out a way to deal with a whole herd of them, other than avoid them and make occasional jokes about how quiet/much of a hobo/social degenerate I am. Interacting one or two on one is easier. Smile and reply as necessary, and find ways to turn the conversation to what you want to talk about.

 

[Anktark]

Couple idea that might help:

1) If it's one on one and they are socially intelligent, they are not that bad. You do have to loud/speed up, but they will usually slow/calm down. If the person is just a jerk/witch, it doesn't matter, just (metaphorically) shoot them in the face and go on your way.

2) If there are more than one, try and redirect them at each other. They will resonate with each other, reach climax and explode. Enjoy the fireworks.

3) Loads of extroverts- dig yourself a hole and stay there or get away. Another option is to try and find introverts in that crowd.

4) Detach yourself from the situation and go to INTPland. If anyone asks anything, tell them "I am in my happy place, I am in my happy place, you can't come in, I am safe here".

Ok, I am kidding, I don't deal with extroverts all that much, so I have little to no idea.

 

[Cyon]

Being a nursing student... I found that most of my classmates are probably introverts. It was hard to adapt to their nature at first but I'm gradually having the hang of it by mostly acting superficially around them. I basically only communicate with them about school stuff, the only thing that triggers communication between them & me. Other than that, I usually just ignore and let then do whatever they think they need to...

 

[The Void]

I don't even get along with introverts.
I don't even get along with myself.

 

[Base groove]

Do I get along with extraverts? Depends.

Category 1: HELL NO.

ESFJ, ESTJ
​

Category 2: not usually, almost never

ESFP, ENFJ
​

Category 3: not really sure, hit or miss

ENFP, ESTP, ENTJ
​

Category 4: usually, not always

ENTP​

 

[Lot]

I actually have very little issue with extroverts. I find them to be very useful in social gatherings. Even the super extroverts. Now if the super extrovert is stupid and annoying to begin with, that is magnified in public. So those individuals aren't all that tolerable.

I hated extroverts when I was younger. Then I lived with a few. They don't really phase me anymore. Really just ignore them if they bother you that much. Or don't hang around that group where they are. If it's that bad.

I really don't know how I got over my distaste for them. It just kind of happened one day.

 

[Pizzabeak]

In one on one convos there seems to be ramifications to talking about what one wants to talk about as opposed to anything implied by the other person in hopes they're paying attention. In certain instances there's a moment where the discussion can go in 2 or more directions, so one must choose wisely for it's always possible the other options can be forgotten and never delved into because of the way the convo went. It would be possible to mention it a few days later but it won't be the same. It should be fairly obvious which one is advisable; it's more akin to passing or failing a test.

But I'm not sure how it would affect one's interactions with extraverts.. Someone can imply they want you to ask about something but if you were more interested in some other topic (although you could be interested in the other topic and maybe have intentions of asking about it later) or wanted to hear their thoughts on it (or just wanted to say something for some reason) then it may just hinder any progress on what a mutual thing may become. But, you just can't be too certain of things nowadays, with the way some people's mode of operations are.. Or rather, it might take some time to see what they're getting at

 

[Reluctantly]

I only really seem to have trouble with ESTJs and ESFJs. All the other types can have their problems, but we can usually clear things up and work things out. It's a little uncanny how that seems to happen because I know why, but I wouldn't know how to explain it, at least not in a way that would really be good enough for anyone inquiring.

My problem with ESFJs and ESTJs is that they tend to drown others out and don't listen when people have something important they need to understand (as it pertains to their problems or goals). They also have a tendency to misunderstand other people and use that to vilify them, which is especially frustrating for an introvert. Once they think they know something, it's hard to get them to see otherwise. I don't know if you've ever tried to explain the whole picture to someone only to have them cut that picture down, piece by piece as you put it up; but they never get to see the whole picture and they just don't care and can be annoyed that you would even try, as stupid as it is to do that. It can really piss off other people and make enemies out of those that are trying to help them.

 

[Base groove]

Category 1: HELL NO.

ESFJ, ESTJ
​

I only really seem to have trouble with ESTJs and ESFJs.

Holla!

My problem with ESFJs and ESTJs is that they tend to drown others out and don't listen when people have something important they need to understand (as it pertains to their problems or goals). They also have a tendency to misunderstand other people and use that to vilify them, which is especially frustrating for an introvert. Once they think they know something, it's hard to get them to see otherwise. I don't know if you've ever tried to explain the whole picture to someone only to have them cut that picture down, piece by piece as you put it up; but they never get to see the whole picture and they just don't care and can be annoyed that you would even try, as stupid as it is to do that. It can really piss off other people and make enemies out of those that are trying to help them.

So true.

 

[QuickTwist]

Some, but not all extroverts are great at getting information from. I basically treat them in the way that they are going to talk about whatever they are going to talk about so I just let them rant until I find an opening to steer the conversation in a way that will give me some info that I don't already have or at least I find is interesting by asking basic questions that I feel they could go on and on about. In the case that the extrovert doesn't have much to offer me I try to just listen politely until I feel I can get away. I don't like small talk so unless there is at least some networking going on I don't care to talk with them much. If you can get an extroverted expert to talk about their field of study it can be a great source for learning. I use this later method all the time. It works with introverts to a lesser degree but still works. Getting an expert to talk about their field of study usually requires you to know something about their field of study but you don't have to know a lot. With extroverts you can usually just repeat back to them what they said in the form of a question to get a more detailed explanation.

 

[holyhell]

As friends, yes. Romantically? No.

 

[Affinity]

On a one on one basis, I get along with them really well and I think it's mostly attributed to the fact that I'm not like the other extroverts they usually associate with. In a group setting, no way.

 

[gilliatt]

Oh, raised eyebrows, shrugs, grunts, snickers, nonverbal communication. Extrovert while talking to them, they 'disapprove' of us introverts. One gets these vibrations of disapproval. Can one learn very much from them? No!!! They are not interested in thinking but more in stealing the introverts ideas.

 

[deadpixel]

What I would call my closest friend is an ESTP, hes very intelligent, resourceful, and funny as hell, We click pretty well. In social situations he can make things akward for me though, like if we had a night out in the city, he went to be highly sociable and sometimes put me in situations that forced me to be sociable, while I was happy really just happy with a beer and a cigarette in my hand studying what was going on around me.

 

[Pyropyro]

I only had conflicts with ESTJ's since they're occasionally too opinionated and too rigid. Pulling ranks (ie. influencing or invoking the name of their superiors) is sometimes necessary to have them back down.

Overly extraverted types are quite easy to dodge. Simply point them to a new person, add some subtle flattery on why said new person would be interested in talking about them, and be off doing your business.

 

[deadpixel]

I only had conflicts with ESTJ's since they're occasionally too opinionated and too rigid. Pulling ranks (ie. influencing or invoking the name of their superiors) is sometimes necessary to have them back down.

Overly extraverted types are quite easy to dodge. Simply point them to a new person, add some subtle flattery on why said new person would be interested in talking about them, and be off doing your business.

Sounds like my mom, she's an estj, an impossible woman. She wants things done her way for the sake of it being done her way, regardless of if it actually makes sense or not.

 

[bemused]

I do.

in terms of communication, the biggest difference is between intuitives and sensors IMO. I often struggle in conversation with sensors because their perception of things are so often drastically different from my own. There is usually a huge communication gap.

But I usually get along very well with other intuitives. Even if we disagree, we at least speak the same language. I have no problem with extraverts. I like to socialize too, but my energy is derived internally as opposed to externally.

 

[Brontosaurie]

if you have all the letters different, then you cannot comminucate

otherwise just use the letter you have in common to commonucite

 

[TimeAsylums]

u dnt deal with extraverts

we deal with u

thats why I'm here

 

[Base groove]

if you have all the letters different, then you cannot comminucate

otherwise just use the letter you have in common to commonucite

What if the only letter is J?

Then yor fucked.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Coping strategies for dealing with such people?

 

[Cog_Dis]

I get along well with chatty J type extroverts.

They're quick to carry the conversation along, and all I have to do is steer, occasionally. It makes me look highly sociable and charismatic, when really, I'm not doing much at all.

I don't really get along well with other introverts though because one of us has to engage in conversation, and frankly, I enjoy myself too much for such a thing.

 

[Amagi82]

For me it all comes down to intelligence and a willingness to listen and learn. Most extroverts fail here, and I simply cannot be friends with someone where conversations are one-sided. They are often far easier to deal with online, because they can't talk over you with a keyboard, and you have a chance to get them to think, and the ability to steer the conversation to areas that don't bore you to tears. Sometimes you can educate these people enough online to actually make them bearable in person.

 

[ENTP lurker]

As an E I don't really get along with: ESXPs, ESTJs. ESXPs are low maintenance somebody sooner or later just leaves the building. They are not troublesome.

Introverts are pretty much the same as their extroverted counterparts.

I have this crazy skill to take ISFJs out of their shell. I think I drain them very fast with passion by launching connections everywhere and they try to desperately participate. Poor ISFJs...

So what about ESFJs do they make you weepy girly feelers or do you make them cold thinkers?

 

[Jennywocky]

I have this crazy skill to take ISFJs out of their shell. I think I drain them very fast with passion by launching connections everywhere and they try to desperately participate. Poor ISFJs...

Lol, how cruel. I can imagine them peddling as fast as they can, trying to keep up, and then slowly dropping along the verge back in the distance.

Usually I've found I need to explain the cause/effect through for them in tangible terms (no sudden leaps), and they can track where i am going. But it's easy to get ahead if you don't present the steps in order.

So what about ESFJs do they make you weepy girly feelers or do you make them cold thinkers?

I don't find all ESFJs bad. It depends on how balanced they are and how much experience they have with people unlike them.

 

[EditorOne]

Sometimes dealing with the "braying" style extroverts just requires an awareness on your part that they are going to tire you out, and that you need to gauge your fatigue level with all that and maybe go away for a few minutes. That, and perhaps thinking up amusing photo captions for the scene you find yourself in: "A donkey on acid creates consternation and dismay during a management team meeting on Friday. Film at 11."

 

[Architect]

The difficulty with being around extraverts is to avoid getting caught up in their party. With Ne and especially Fe in the inferior it's not too hard for us to start playing along. In fact it can easily happen that we develop a habit of being extraverted in social situations. The cure is to practice being introverted whenever possible.