Gauging your introversion

[yogurtexpress]

I think this is especially applicable to INTPs because we are usually considered the 'most introverted type.' Of course, when you step outside the MBTI, and Jungian psychology altogether, you'll find that most people don't have a very good idea of what introversion even is (ex. they think it's the same as being shy when it really isn't).

But I'll admit that even someone like me, who knows the differences fairly well, struggles with my own identity from time to come. Partly, this is because of my recent battle with social anxiety illustrated in another thread, but I think another major component in my confusion stems back to childhood.

For instance, as a child I was outgoing and not inhibited in the slightest. I DID spend a lot of time thinking about the world and philosophizing from a remarkably early age, but this didn't really get in the way of a normal social life. I went to the playground and had fun and made friends and don't remember having many troubles.

But when I turned 10, I started to prefer time alone rather than spending time with others. Granted, I was still doing a lot of socializing online (AIM, forums, etc) but obviously this doesn't compare. My problem was that in my head, I was a much more intelligent person than I could express to people in everyday life. Therefore, in school and in the park, I didn't feel like myself anymore. The real me I had pretty much discovered on the internet.

Unfortunately, all the time spent online did have an adverse effect on me. I was less interested in 'chilling' with others; the time I spent with my peers in school often felt draining enough, so I habitually began to neglect them. I figured, they don't understand me and the world I'm in, so what's the point?

But if I didn't have the Internet as another means of expression, would I have really become so introverted? I know the MBTI theory states that we're born one way or another, but I've read on many other forums about people claiming that major life events changed their types completely.

Input and similar experiences are always appreciated.

 

[lucky12]

I think you can judge your history and come up with a realistic explanation.

I am somewhat similar to you but I don't myself as being an outlier, even though I guess I technically am.

And.. if you ask me, gauging intelligence is bullshit.

It's hard to answer your questions because anything could have happened!

Drunkenly yours,
Lucky.

 

[Zionoxis]

I also have a very hard time figuring out exactly how introverted I am. I believe the best bet is for us to find someone known to be EXTREMELY introverted and someone who is EXTREMELY extroverted and compare and contrast their usual actions/reactions among others with our own. So, any really extroverted people here want to step up to the plate?

 

[creep]

[JUSTIFY="center"]I have a similar background to you - once a nice and neat balance of extro-intro-version(60% intro, I'd wager), but, in my case, I think the switch of utter introversion was more so due to tense events at a young age combined with the inability to cope, so I stopped being interested in most aspects of reality/socialization.

I personally think it's a mix of both - the whole nature vs. nurture thing. I think it's silly to just say you're born this way and nothing can change you when anything can happen. I think it's worth it to think, however, that people of certain types may be more susceptible to certain changes in their behavior - really, whatever works for them.

In your case, though, like lucky said, you're the best person to gauge that sort of thing, with all of your memories and knowledge of your character. In any case, however, I don't quite see the point in trying to gauge how introverted you are, or, how it seems upon reading, if you are truly introverted, as in, 'by nature,' not 'by nurture.' You are and it's comfortable so. [/JUSTIFY]

 

[Akuma]

I'd say it's difficult to gauge introversion since there's so many ways of communication that a person can prefer. So I kinda agree with creep's post.

As a kid I think I was a lot more extroverted around close family or friends. However it might have been happiness I remember, not extroversion.
I certainly remember being very shy at primary school, I had a lot of trouble making friends (I asked my mum to write notes to the teacher asking classmates to play with me never worked.)

I can't remember much about home life before the age of 12 and by that time I had become introverted around family too. Though I do remember being mute while playing with barbie dolls when I was 9.

 

[Sanctum]

I think our introversion isn't absolute their are different factors that play into it its hard to accurately gauge it . I know in some social situations i am the loudest one, i talk a lot joke etc. and in other situations i don't talk at all. Its funny how some people come up to me and say i didn't know you were funny how come you never talk in class and stuff like that. Its like everyone sees a different side of me and this is due to the situation

 

[Beholder]

My problem was that in my head, I was a much more intelligent person than I could express to people in everyday life. Therefore, in school and in the park, I didn't feel like myself anymore.

That's exactly how I always felt. I also acted a lot more extroverted as a kid, and as a teenager with my group of friends. But I always felt (still do) like the 'me' they're seeing isn't the real me, and I began to hate that fake me (I called him the Puppet), and began a sort of rivalry with him. Whenever I was in social situations I was always suppressing my Puppet. Over the past year or so I've been working very hard on developing cooperation between us, which has worked surprisingly well - http://kessem-lucid-life.blogspot.com/2012/01/great-success.html

I think I seem like much more of an extrovert than I did before, but what's actually happened is that I've just become more extreme. I'll explain - I spend much more time around people, and when I'm around them I'm much more social, but then spend all the rest of my time in complete isolation, where I can't stand other people. It's like I'm and I/E bipolar.

 

[RentA-Brain]

I have always been a similar way. In school i have always tended to be more quiet, prefering to keep to myself rather than attempt to talk to everyone in class at once. Outside of school I've always kept a few good friends who are very close that i feel comfortable around. But the overwhelming process going on within my head has always clouded my ability to socialize very much until this year.

I find that i have to force myself to focus my attention on the conversational processes going on around me and less on the logical ones within my cranium, but i am capable of inteligent sounding conversation if i manage to extrovert that attention outside of my head. and that sometimes (surprisingly) all of the people surrounding me aren't ALWAYS complete morons. but when i am alone i always retreat back to my internal thoughts and ponderings where i feel most comfortable.

Guaging introversion to me is really a measurement of how well you can focus your attention to where it needs to be at the given moment.

 

[Execution Commentary]

I don't think it is possible to guage one's introversion. Quite simply, if we are introverted, we feel energized by being alone. Being in a group drains an introvert. Someone with supposed 100% introversion can seem like the most extroverted person in the world, if they have developed their interpersonal skills enough. Yes, an extrovert is more likely to interact with others well because of the sheer amount of practice applied to interaction. But introversion and extroversion are not dependent on one's mannerisms when interacting with people, but on one's source of energy.

 

[Luna]

I guess people can change, and most people probably do throughout their lives. But I was a very introverted person beginning when I was a toddler, and that hasn't really changed since then.

 

[Katie]

As crazy as i find it, I think I was born this way. When i was little i hated recess because I thought all the other kids playing and running around were morons that I could talk to because they just didn't understand me. I'd go sit on the swings with my two guy friends and we'd discuss theories and talk about sex and girls hahaha, I could never fit in with other girls, still cant to this day! adults and teachers would always come sit by me and make petty conversation as if I was lonely. Then I guess I kind of morphed in a way, became more social. I think I did that because at the time I didn't understand people were different and it's okay to be introverted. God damn society for making me think otherwise. But I became more social and girly, became infatuated with looking good, makeup was my mask, had tons of friends, tons of boyfriends, I still thought they were all idiots but it was them or nobody (god I'm narcissistic). But in the past few years ive learned to value myself, I don't remember where I learned it but I'm so glad I did, I love myself and I hold high values, I don't let anyone around me alter my opinion, how I act, anything. I'm autonomous and love it. Woah way off topic sorry for the rambling! But yes I think we do start out how we are but certain things in life can tweak that and mix it up a bit depending on how much you let it.

 

[Auburn]

I don't think it is possible to guage one's introversion. Quite simply, if we are introverted, we feel energized by being alone. Being in a group drains an introvert. Someone with supposed 100% introversion can seem like the most extroverted person in the world, if they have developed their interpersonal skills enough. Yes, an extrovert is more likely to interact with others well because of the sheer amount of practice applied to interaction. But introversion and extroversion are not dependent on one's mannerisms when interacting with people, but on one's source of energy.

This! :3

Spoiler

But so long as we're just egobasking in our personal journeys, varying phases and levels of energy-expenditure therein..

There have been times in my own life where Ti was heaviest, Ne heaviest, Si heaviest and even Fe heavist -- in terms of what the spectators see.

My activities have ranged from being mistaken as mute and emo, to being a public speaker & preacher. From being an Si heavy theist with bible verses dripping from my lips, to being utterly whimsical/carefree and traveling around the globe *just because*

And yet without exception, in all these phases I am drained tremendously by (inter)action. Sometimes the reward is worth it, and I develop a habit of doing it if the benefits outweight the personal expense but that doesn't remove the expense..

 

[P.H.]

I agree with the above.

People think of me as an extraverted person (as in outgoing), and I guess I kind of am. I enjoy being around people and interacting with them, it just makes me very tired and in the evening I need to "charge up" by being alone.

The nature vs nurture thing though, I'm not sure. I can't imagine getting energized by being around people, or something making me that way. I suppose in some particular situations (like losing a loved one or during a burnout: extreme stress) you can temporarily change from an introvert to an extravert, but I can only say this from experience and I'm not even sure if I really behaved like an extravert or just needed to be around people as means of distraction. Because in the end, I did need my alone time.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

Well for me, the internet was not even an option, but I totally understand what you mean. I'm from New York and upon moving to my current home of Florida, I instantaneously remembered interacting with children and thinking, "really? These are my peers?" They were so immature, so ignorant. They yelled and screamed all over the streets and got into petty arguments, their grammar and overall use of the English language left much to be desired. I am sure that the upbringing and disparity in the community I lived had much to do with it, but it still bothered me. I was so happy when we moved to a less clustered part of the same city where there were more children I could relate to (mind you, these children were usually of Caribbean decent, which I thought was just my cultural bias, but it turns out, a lot of differences in upbringing compared to American family's children).
I was more social with these children, but still tied to friends I didn't have anything in common with, just because they made themselves my friends. I think I've always had that issue growing up... attracting children to me who aren't anything like me. Was that because NO children were anything like me or that the introverted Thinking types were all off thinking by themselves and I wasn't aware? lol
These friends I had always were much more extroverted than I and always had to "make" me do things with them. I would want to, but be less inclined if it involved too much arranging and planning. If I had to meet people at a given time, it would be too much work, If I had to dress up for an event, fah-getta-baouttit! I would be the least-dressed-up one there... My mother absolutely hated that I didn't try very hard to be a girl. But no matter what I did, friends would still come my way! Shortly after High School I was thought of as a "friend stealer" because people would want to hang out with me and neglect their circle of friends, or whatever, and somehow I became to blame.
As an adult now (32, eek!) I have only 3 close friends whom I see practically everyday. 2 of them live within my complex (literally within walking distance from me) and the other is several miles away, but still tries to stop by rather frequently (she CRAVES other people, so she goes out of her way to hang with us)....
And at whose house do they congregate? Yep, you guessed it... Mines.
I don't mind, but they really do drain me. It's like, they know I don't need them, but they can't live without me, so they have to bother me as their way to show they care, which I find annoying, but whatever, apparently this is what having friends is all about.
If they ever knew I wrote this about them, they would probably all cry and get all sensitive about it, like I can't possibly care because I don't want to see them as much as they want to see me.... SMH