Friendships

[starlight22]

Hi my fellow INTPs

I have a question. I enjoy being alone a little too much I think. I haven't been keeping up friends nor family. Just doing the daily things that I need to go do and then going back to my Isolation. I really feel like I need to get out more and make friends and talk to people about all the ideas I have come up with. But when I do meet people that I like they are usually uncomfortable around me and I too. Does anyone have advice about this instead of just being myself. I am happy to be alone but logically I can see how there are negatives and positives. I would love to meet INTPs and ENTPS? Where do you guys like to hang out and etc? Any advice would help because I am facing my fears and going to put myself out there. What have you done to get out of isolation and meet people who understand you?

Thanks in advance!

 

[Black Rose]

I want to do my A.I. project but I know nothing about computers. My counselor gave me a learn computers at the library flyer. I know it is basics I don't need to do but I want to go and show them my ideas I print out. They can help me find people who are more advanced to get me into a setting to do my A.I. ideas. I am tired of wasting away in my house. But I can't learn advanced computer stuff I need for my ideas on my own.

That is just my plan but it is applicable to your situation. Find an event where people you want to find will then go to even if the event is indirectly a way to get to them. That is my advice.

 

[svitani]

Hm, what might your interests be?
Also, do INTPs here meet up? If they do, meet them?

 

[DoIMustHaveAnUsername?]

Any advice would help because I am facing my fears and going to put myself out there.

Mindfulness.

What have you done to get out of isolation

Interacted with people. I talked a bit. Didn't go too well. I have made 'friends' all right.
But one of them turned a bit strange. Some other ones; I didn't really like as a person. Many others simply used my 'skills'.
So I stopped trying. Went back to isolation. I am not desperate enough to do anything to maintain 'friends'. For now, only one guy from IRL maintains contact with me as 'friend'. He is the only one who talks with me as a 'friend' not as someone who is merely looking to use my know-how for their needs and such. We don't share too many interests. But it's alright.
These days, I don't feel any emotions (may be due to depression or something, I don't know). So I don't really care about trying to become less isolated.

Where (what) I desire to be, is a very solitary place.

and meet people who understand you?

There is nothing to understand about me.

 

[Jennywocky]

Well, one thing is that strangers usually don't want to be talked at about someone else's ideas. If they are getting together, it's usually to have fun and make small talk and hang out -- casual stuff, not theorizing or issue debate or impromptu creative symposiums. It's just how it is.

So if you are primarily looking for people to idea-crunch, then look for an appropriate group of people -- i.e., groups of people who are either just like you or "ideas based" groups or hobbyist groups. For example, if you want to discuss ideas about a book you want to write based on a world of your own construction, join a writer's group where everyone is there for that purpose. (Make sense?) Everyone will have the same expectation and you won't find yourself trying to utilize the group for something it was not intended. Take a local community class with an aligned purpose. Or something similar. Bookstores and hobby stores might have special meetings once a month for a purpose/topic you might find interesting... and once you meet people there, maybe it'll continue outside the meeting.

As one example, I actually did find Meetup (.com?) pretty useful for finding a variety of groups for a variety of purposes. It's easier to target a group that might actually serve your needs. I think one reason groups might not work out is when people are showing up for different reasons, so what you thought was an audience actually isn't.

 

[onesteptwostep]

I find that trying to practice "a technical empathy" a great way to avoid isolation and a good way to exercise your knowledge and intelligence. What I mean by technical empathy is that, ask what a person is made up of, not physically but in turns of goals, motivations, personalities and preferences; whether they are able to keep those goals or whether they have a hard time keeping up with them, whether their goals inform their personality or preferences or vice versa, and whether it's their upbringing that provides that underpinning motivation and so forth. It's not an emotional 'interest' per say, but more of a way to navigate into the psyche of a person and to practice empathy in a systematic manner . Not all empathizers have to use emotion, some can be detached and still be great conversationalists. I find that after time, your emotional fluency develops and you might start wondering why you were so hesitant about people in the first place.