I remember that all we did was work though.
We did not have much in line with why we did things.
We just did it because if we did not, well me personally I did the work.
I think that all kids have their unique way of learning.
But for kids that could memorize things they did the best and went to college.
I cannot memorize, I was bored so that I think of other things to do after doing homework. I read books in the library with pictures.
I suppose that when you can memorize, you can do work requiring instruction manuals. If you can follow the manuals then thinking does not become a priority.
The symbols in math classes did not mean anything to me, but some things I understand now. The thing is that they teach math in such a way that you forget that in the past you need to do things without calculators or computers. So the symbols meant something because you made something with them. Instead, they gave us symbols that I could not know what they referred to.
I also remember they did not give us books about what computers did. They only had us copy some lines of code and I got nowhere. But I suppose if you can memorize you can learn all the code words and then make stuff with them. Basically, there were no first principles involved.
One kid could draw well in class, I did not draw well but we had flash animation and had to make stuff in it. And we had to do Photoshop and make web pages. I wanted to put a music file on a webpage HTML file I made but did not know how. This was before YouTube embedding. Even now I do not get much from computer tools. Tools are made for a job, you do not make the tools yourself so there is no creativity there.
It might be that apprenticeship would have worked for me to do things, and learn these tools and symbols. That is not how schools work. They look for people who are basically human calculators. And most kids get left behind.
Yesterday I found out my mom has an IQ of 80 and I suppose mine is 110.
It makes sense now why she would not help me with my homework.
My sister is 90, but then she has the ability to draw photorealistic images.
My brother is probably 120 but he makes stuff and does not care about software.
My aunt was a schoolteacher so she might be 105 -
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I just remember that in school I had to think all the time because no one wanted to talk to me and I just did the work and not much else. Thinking makes you have some ability to have ideas no one else has. Once I was on Marilyn von savant's forum, and I was on the Kurzwil forum. they had most of the ideas I had and it was interesting.
So it was that all I did was think for a long time before I had the internet. which I had the internet after 2014 in a way I became addicted and stopped thinking as much but I do remember that I can think still.
In bed I think sometimes, I write stuff down. I have many things I wrote but did not know math yet. if I had then might work it all out which I do now a little.
my notebook I have now has 70 pages but I might need it latter when I need to make things more clear to me. it's not there yet, in my ADD I stare at it sometimes and scribble. It is not fully formed in my head and is why I get anxiety sometimes.