fellow female INTPs views on casual sex?

[Wolf18]

Most of that is still entirely your own opinion. Others with different views would feel differently. Don't go around stating opinions as objective fact.

Are you telling me that all the other opinions on here are fact? It's all opinions. This one is mine. If you don't like it, tough.

The title of this thread is "fellow female INTPs views on casual sex." (note incorrect grammar.) I am an INTP female. This is my view on casual sex.

 

[ShameFace]

Hello everyone:

I´ve been wondering about this lately, since my best male friend proposed me to hook up with him after having a few beers .

I refused because I´ve only had sex when in love with the other person and I´m not there with him even though i find him attractive... also he is an INFJ so i was surprised because they are supposed to be highly idealistic when it comes to sex too...

Human biology trumps all else.

I'm pretty conservative when it comes to fucking complete strangers, but in the words of the great Woody Allen...

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good"

 

[Jason43]

Male INTP, interesting topic, sorry I dont have correct genitalia for the OP... I dont really enjoy casual sex, or at least sex with people I dont have some kind of physical or mental connection with, although that connection might happen very quickly at times. To the point where I'll shoot women down if they dont interest me... I have had casual sex before but it was because I was damaged from a bad relationship and wanted to see if I could... I found that its really not that challenging to outsmart women at bars... since I'm older now (33), my introversion has become more prevalent and it takes more to interest me enough to expend the energy required to talk to/get sex from someone. I also tend to pick one woman that I find attractive (mental or physical) and focus my attention and energy on her, and dont really settle for what is easy... I like the chase, challenge, etc... if that is not there, I'm not really interested...

 

[joal0503]

if there were a hot chick who i know wanted a casual sex relationship. id think too much about it and end up convincing myself it wouldnt be a healthy choice. oh wait...yep thats exactly whats happened before.

god damn it.

 

[MikeTheSurfer]

I'm a dude, so I don't know if my thoughts will help, but I can't do Friends with Benefits. To me there has to be some kind of spark (chemistry), and that doesn't come to me easily.

I'm 44, married, kids, etc. (very typical middle class family) and am introverted, so I didn't hook up very often when I was young.

I very much wanted sexual experience from about the time I was twelve or thirteen and was crazy about girls beginning in the sixth grade (I still remember the butterflies holding hands, etc.), but up through all of high school I chickened out of several opportunities, a couple that were sure things. I guess I just wasn't ready to give myself intimately in that way (although I had no clue what was going on in my head).

Well, fast forward to a week after high school and it finally happened with a girl I could connect to. I'm not sure why. It's not like she had a great personality, but I think it was that I gathered that she really liked me and that was enough.

Yada, yada, I've had a couple casual encounters (most when I was between the ages of 18 and 20), but nothing compared to my friends who were all over the place. I just couldn't be like that. To me there had to be that chemistry. Plus, being an introvert, I'm shy (in many social situations). I've had ten encounters in my life, and of those ten only half were somewhat meaningful (the others being awkward from lack of connection), and of those five only two (including my wife) were what I would call a true connection of mind and body). Oddly enough, the one other person I felt a real mind/body connection with was someone I met the day before when I was 20. Met her at the beach, asked her out, and the next day we really connected. Had we not lived a thousand miles apart (she was on vacation) we would have dated seriously. We were only together three days but it was the real deal. That came out of a casual encounter, but it wasn't casual sex by any means.


So, it's not just a female thing, really. Sure, guys look at sex differently in general, but I think personality types are far more important than gender in this situation.

If your friend wants to just fool around, it's perfectly reasonable to expect that he might not take it seriously and you might fall in love. It's a risky thing.

But if you don't each feel a true mind-body connection, then it might not be a great idea to get together.

That's just my opinion.

 

[JASSY]

Its feels good to know there are other female INTPs playing with this . When I was younger , I would become overwhelmed with frustration noticing the double standard . I rebelled the idea that men are Lallowed" to behave a certain way simply because they are men. So naturaly I tested the waters with a passion . What I found was not what I expected . How long would that feeling last without the personal connection of comitted partner ? It didn't last long and I feel ashamed . Not because of the double standard and the dissaproving reactions. But because as INTP I needed to feel that sense of closness and harmony with my sexual partner , it didn't come till I formed a healthy committed relationship . So to tye it all togather , casual sex for relieve tensions and for whichever reasons you could think of hmmmm.... Fine . Sex with a loving , healthy , committed partner ... Hell yeah !