Farts??

[Rebis]

Discuss

who invented them

why they happen

Farst in space?

only intp will get this

 

[Marbles]

If a fart rips in the forest, does it cause global warming?

The origins of the fart stretches back to the Big Bang, of course. If you are the religious type: Christians commonly entertain the misconception that God rested on the seventh day. Not so! He had in fact fallen ill to his newly designed chickpea soup, and his flatulence was ripping through the cosmos. Never get high off your own product, kids.

 

[Rebis]

If a fart rips in the forest, does it cause global warming?

The origins of the fart stretches back to the Big Bang, of course. If you are the religious type: Christians commonly entertain the misconception that God rested on the seventh day. Not so! He had in fact fallen ill to his newly designed chickpea soup, and his flatulence was ripping through the cosmos. Never get high off your own product, kids.

Thomas aquinas needs to update his work.

If I fart and my friend farts, are they distinguishable farts or are they fused into one singular farty odour? What draws the line between my fart and his own?

 

[Marbles]

If a fart rips in the forest, does it cause global warming?

The origins of the fart stretches back to the Big Bang, of course. If you are the religious type: Christians commonly entertain the misconception that God rested on the seventh day. Not so! He had in fact fallen ill to his newly designed chickpea soup, and his flatulence was ripping through the cosmos. Never get high off your own product, kids.

Thomas aquinas needs to update his work.

If I fart and my friend farts, are they distinguishable farts or are they fused into one singular farty odour? What draws the line between my fart and his own?

Farts don't fuse, they are like fingerprints. They're what makes you unique.

Wittgenstein, If I fart into your ass, is it still my fart?

 

[Marbles]

This thread is not seeing the traffic it deserves. Allow me to continue.

The old Victorian dictum seems pertinent: Invest no further farthings in farthingales you flatulating wenches, lest your rectal fumes turn your skirts to gasbags!

We're sure proving @Kormak wrong! Serious?! We?! Hmpf...

 

[Rebis]

Farts don't fuse, they are like fingerprints. They're what makes you unique.
Wittgenstein, If I fart into your ass, is it still my fart?

the pre-requisites for a fart is it brought to existence through an ass so when your fart goes through my ass it phases out of the spatial plane, and then a new fart independent of yours is produced through my ass, thus the fart is now not beholden to the farts of the past and is infact, my fart.

 

[Rebis]

I love a good ol' fartsy gal.

 

[Marbles]

Farts don't fuse, they are like fingerprints. They're what makes you unique.
Wittgenstein, If I fart into your ass, is it still my fart?

the pre-requisites for a fart is it brought to existence through an ass so when your fart goes through my ass it phases out of the spatial plane, and then a new fart independent of yours is produced through my ass, thus the fart is now not beholden to the farts of the past and is infact, my fart.

Consider me swooning!

 

[Rebis]

Consider me swooning!

Your gf would dump you if she seen how superior my farts are

 

[Tenacity]

I conditioned myself to hold in my farts for long periods of time because I didn't want to be rude (and it is much more rude to do so as a girl) so my entire digestive tract has now been converted into 24K gold thx societal expectations for femininity u da r3@l35t

 

[Marbles]

Lmao... You held it in for so long that it ignited a fusion process? Talk about peer pressure.

 

[Daddy]

Can you make diamonds too?

 

[Marbles]

Consider me swooning!

Your gf would dump you if she seen how superior my farts are

You stole my fart, then my girlfriend's heart

 

[Marbles]

@Daddy do jews fart, or is that a conspiracy theory?

 

[Tenacity]

Lmao... You held it in for so long that it ignited a fusion process? Talk about peer pressure.

Exactly. It is v. advanced technique

Can you make diamonds too?

Only when my japanese toilet plays me this soft and calming lullaby

 

[Rebis]

I conditioned myself to hold in my farts for long periods of time because I didn't want to be rude (and it is much more rude to do so as a girl) so my entire digestive tract has now been converted into 24K gold thx societal expectations for femininity u da r3@l35t

Seems like a standard nuclear fartsin process, high velocity fartons in a particle fartillatror.

When the "bae" farts but it was actually a shart, drop that fake ass hybrid in outer space.

 

[Tenacity]

I conditioned myself to hold in my farts for long periods of time because I didn't want to be rude (and it is much more rude to do so as a girl) so my entire digestive tract has now been converted into 24K gold thx societal expectations for femininity u da r3@l35t

Seems like a standard nuclear fartsin process, high velocity fartons in a particle fartillatror.

Some humans are weapons of mass creation

 

[Marbles]

@Daddy You are a trooper. Not only have you braved the iron cross forum emblem to get here, you've ventured into our little gass chamber.

Terrible, terrible joke. I'll go stand in the corner, now. I'm sort of an honorary jew, though, so it's okay. My best friend and I are hell bent on marrying jewesses one day. We are convinced you can never produce anything of cultural or scientifc value if you aren't circumcised.

 

[Tenacity]

When the "bae" farts but it was actually a shart, drop that fake ass hybrid in outer space.

I've always admired those who could shart, they are supposedly evolutionarily superior, responsible for 80% of the population density / organic matter

 

[Marbles]

 

[Rebis]

Look deeper into your fart and you will find a fart within a fart.

To see a fart in a dingleberry,
and a preliminary cloud in a wild floater
hold infinity in the ass with your fart
and eternity in a loud'un.

 

[Rebis]

Fartie - Fartilicious:

 

[Marbles]

I love how that poem has been a red thread through our day, Rebis xD I think you missed a golden opportunity in "to see a fart in a dingleberry". Could you edit that in? :P

 

[Rebis]

I am Fartymandias,
king of rippers
look upon thy gas, ye mighty and despair!

 

[Forensic1999]

The real question is, what happens when you shart and don't have another clean pair of underwear.
Who thought up that dilemma.

 

[Forensic1999]

In all seriousness, with my fatalistic worldview I see "farts" as a general way to make us feel like shit for being human. You know. "How about a disgusting puff of gass out the bum-hole. Yeah, that's a good plan, love it. There goes the remaining grain of my self esteem.
I admit to having a "too good for that" view.

 

[Rebis]

Farts are euphoric, you must be deluded if they make you feel like shit.

 

[Forensic1999]

Farts are euphoric, you must be deluded if they make you feel like shit.

Yeah probably am.

 

[Daddy]

@Daddy do jews fart, or is that a conspiracy theory?

Jews fart high value bills in all currency. I know this because it's true.

@Daddy You are a trooper. Not only have you braved the iron cross forum emblem to get here, you've ventured into our little gass chamber.

Terrible, terrible joke. I'll go stand in the corner, now. I'm sort of an honorary jew, though, so it's okay. My best friend and I are hell bent on marrying jewesses one day. We are convinced you can never produce anything of cultural or scientifc value if you aren't circumcised.

It's okay, gas away. ~
I'm not really Jewish, so I say, Blast away. ~
It's all their fault anyway, isn't that what they say? ~

 

[Marbles]

@Daddy do jews fart, or is that a conspiracy theory?

Jews fart high value bills in all currency. I know this because it's true.

@Daddy You are a trooper. Not only have you braved the iron cross forum emblem to get here, you've ventured into our little gass chamber.

Terrible, terrible joke. I'll go stand in the corner, now. I'm sort of an honorary jew, though, so it's okay. My best friend and I are hell bent on marrying jewesses one day. We are convinced you can never produce anything of cultural or scientifc value if you aren't circumcised.

It's okay, gas away. ~
I'm not really Jewish, so I say, Blast away. ~
It's all their fault anyway, isn't that what they say? ~

Nooo! I thought we had a jew! You were supposed to introduce me to your sister, or something

 

[Cognisant]

Nothing like a good cheek clapper to lift you up.

 

[Inexorable Username]

Men’s health suggests that acclimation causes personal fart-scent satisfaction.
If a Fartist can fabricate a fart of personal scent-sation...
Could their twin produce an odor of equal or greater adoration?
Citation:

Why You Like the Smell Of Your Own Farts

Are you farting roses while everyone else is letting the rancid cheese rip?

www.menshealth.com

 

[Forensic1999]

Men’s health suggests that acclimation causes personal fart-scent satisfaction.
If a Fartist can fabricate a fart of personal scent-sation...
Could their twin produce an odor of equal or greater adoration?
Citation:

Why You Like the Smell Of Your Own Farts

Are you farting roses while everyone else is letting the rancid cheese rip?

www.menshealth.com

XD

 

[Inexorable Username]

Men’s health suggests that acclimation causes personal fart-scent satisfaction.
If a Fartist can fabricate a fart of personal scent-sation...
Could their twin produce an odor of equal or greater adoration?
Citation:

Why You Like the Smell Of Your Own Farts

Are you farting roses while everyone else is letting the rancid cheese rip?

www.menshealth.com

XD

Rebis is a much better poet. I haven't done poetry since I was a weird little closet writer kid in grade school. I lost this inspiration once I stopped being depressed.

 

[CerebralCollapse]

They never fail to be humorous.

 

[Inexorable Username]

They never fail to be humorous.

I like it...I actually find it funny. Which is awesome for me, as I apparently have a deeply repressed laugh-trigger, which is only stimulated in rare circumstances. I think wittiness and wordplay are high on the list, though. Not sure I've got much going for me in the instinctual department.

 

[CerebralCollapse]

Eh, I can't make people laugh. Humor is best in its natural form. If it's forced too much it ceases to be funny.

 

[Marbles]

Eh, I can't make people laugh. Humor is best in its natural form. If it's forced too much it ceases to be funny.

As exemplified by Comedians in Cars. Welcome to the forum!

 

[Inexorable Username]

Eh, I can't make people laugh. Humor is best in its natural form. If it's forced too much it ceases to be funny.

Oh! I just realized you're newer than I am! Welcome! I love your picture. Very transfixing. You definitely caught my eye

 

[Marbles]

Eh, I can't make people laugh. Humor is best in its natural form. If it's forced too much it ceases to be funny.

Oh! I just realized you're newer than I am! Welcome! I love your picture. Very transfixing. You definitely caught my eye

@CerebralCollapse Yeah, is it a long exposure photo of a sparkler?
Check this out:

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

Thou shalt not fart in the shower. That’s the teachings of the ancients.

 

[Polaris]

Thou shalt fart in bath tub and have jacuzzi. T'is also the teachings of the ancients.

 

[Rebis]

Rebis is a much better poet. I haven't done poetry since I was a weird little closet writer kid in grade school. I lost this inspiration once I stopped being depressed.

Come to think of it, that is literally when I lost interest. I couldn't write anything for scrap as it is now.


The quantum fart- as small as a sub-atomic molecule, yet 1,000,000 times more powerful. In other words, "small but powerful!":


Skip to 30s for the actual context, but watch the video to be reminded how fucked up children cartoons are.