ESTP Lust

[EyeSeeCold]

Someone had to do it.

Anyone else find themselves dangerously attracted to ESTPs? All of the females I have ever really been extremely fascinated with have been ESTPs. I'm too lazy right now to pinpoint it, but for some reason this group is very irresistible. My experiences usually go like this:

1. Notice something shocking (appearance, language or gesture)
2. Attention is captured, observes with intense curiosity, infatuation ensues
3. Approach with intent to understand
4. Astounded by the "no prisoners" attitude, favoring a more cold approach to life
5. Disillusioned by imperfection, my values are reshaped to fit the object
6. Attempt to prove to the object that I'm just as "dangerous" and worthy of their presence

If feelings not reciprocated return to step 2, lust is increased.
If emotional/mental connection established I begin to open up

7. Goofiness ensues, happiness is achieved
8. Upon reflection of past experiences with object, the pleasures of the flesh become desired

Even before reading Socionics' description of such intertype relationships known as "Semi Duals", I had noticed a pattern of intense infatuation.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

I dont know, all the ESTPs i have ever met, just gave me the impression that they are absolutely retarded, and almost as if they do it on purpose. Like they are determined to be stupid.

In fact i have a friend who i beleive is an ESTP, who constantly asks me to explain words i say. The most recent of which, i beleive was the word inconspicuous. (his stupidity is more likely product of enviroment, but his personality cant be helping any)

 

[Words]

I knew an ESTP female who was pleasantly eager to be friends with me. I entertained some of her delights and I'd kill people if they thought she was any other type than ESTP.

Attracted? No. This example seems rugged and composed, and I'm thinking those were her best assets aside from the fact that she's friendly to absolutely everyone regardless of superficial status. I didn't have the energy to talk to her though. Oh, and she was also very knowledgeable about subjects in math/physics. [Ignore IfloatTHRUlife]

Friends in mischief, yes, but I would never consider "lust". (And I do know a number of ESTP's aside from the example.)

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I dont know, all the ESTPs i have ever met, just gave me the impression that they are absolutely retarded, and almost as if they do it on purpose. Like they are determined to be stupid.

In fact i have a friend who i beleive is an ESTP, who constantly asks me to explain words i say. The most recent of which, i beleive was the word inconspicuous. (his stupidity is more likely product of enviroment, but his personality cant be helping any)

Hmm maybe you had them confused with ESFPs. ESTPs with thinking as their auxiliary function are more likely to be efficient intellectuals or dilettantes. Or it could be because of a subduction of the other three functions in men resulting in a very strong Se, because I do notice a big difference between female ESTPs and male ESTPs. The males tend to be more aggressive and competitive and are more likely to be conceited. The females tend to be physically and sexually bold, but with mental capacities that outshine their ESFP cousins.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I knew an ESTP female who was pleasantly eager to be friends with me. I entertained some of her delights and I'd kill people if they thought she was any other type than ESTP.

Attracted? No. This example seems rugged and composed, and I'm thinking those were her best assets aside from the fact that she's friendly to absolutely everyone regardless of superficial status. I didn't have the energy to talk to her though. Oh, and she was also very knowledgeable about subjects in math/physics. [Ignore IfloatTHRUlife]

Friends in mischief, yes, but I would never consider "lust". (And I do know a number of ESTP's aside from the example.)

Well it could be just be me, but the compatibility is definitely there; it's almost childlike. I know very well if I had stuck with any one of them I would have been dragged down into reckless spontaneity.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Im sorry, i worded my post wrong, made it seem worse than what i really think. But yeah, its not really that they are retarded, its how willing they are to act that way.

I would still ignore me anyway, like i said, i think the lack of intelligence in the ESTPs i know is product of enviroment. (intellect is pretty much useless here, everything comes down to practicality and physical ability, to the point that i dont just stand out like a loose nail, i stand out like an entire board is missing ) wow that is such a lame metaphor, feeling pro now

 

[cheese]

I would still ignore me anyway, like i said, i think the lack of intelligence in the ESTPs i know is product of enviroment. (intellect is pretty much useless here, everything comes down to practicality and physical ability, to the point that i dont just stand out like a loose nail, i stand out like an entire board is missing ) wow that is such a lame metaphor, feeling pro now

I liked it. Here, have some recognition.

 

[Razare]

My father is an ESTP. They can be highly intelligent if they apply themselves, and are gifted with smart genes, I think.

He's generally smarter than me, so I would put his IQ near 140 or better.

He also has many issues, that cause a great many people to consider him strange. Automatically considering a personality dumb, just doesn't work really because there are other factors besides personality that determines it. Certain personalities will be driven to push their brains further than others, but that's as far as it goes.

 

[Razare]

Im sorry, i worded my post wrong, made it seem worse than what i really think. But yeah, its not really that they are retarded, its how willing they are to act that way.

Oh ok, I understand what you mean.

I'm so used to my father doing this that I automatically overlook that behavior in him. You see, what an ESTP respects is individualism and self-sufficiency. They behave funny for attention, attention of the sort that would make you think that "Hey, this person is not following the crowd." This is something the ESTP respects, and so, they like to exhibit their strange behavior.

I wont pretend to understand it fully, but that's how I see it.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Recognition stings, almost the same feeling someone would get from sarcasm.

Wait a minute...

HEY!

Thats not nice

 

[cheese]

Recognition stings, almost the same feeling someone would get from sarcasm.

Wait a minute...

HEY!

Thats not nice

I thought it might come off like that, but it's really just my usual bluntness. I was enjoying it up till the bit where you pronounced it 'lame' (and by association, my sense of humour! - ).

Hey, our clubs are beating in time! TWO CLUBS AS ONE! <3

 

[Joohanh]

Well, my best friend is an ESTP if that's anything to go by... I do think that our personalities fit together like peanutbutter and jelly.

 

[shoeless]

one of my really good friends i think may be an ESTP. either that or an ENTP, but when he does things like SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE in the middle of a huge rainstorm in the forest notice the ONE SPOT, like seriously two square feet big, where the trees completely shelter the rain... i think there's some Se going on.

but anyway, he's hilarious and "stupid" in like a fun way but actually very intelligent when he's in the mood, and there's just something about him that is super duper lovable always. so i can totally understand the attraction.

i wouldn't date him though. it wouldn't work even a little bit.

 

[del]

My girlfriend is ESTP or ISTP, I can never figure which, but we do amazing together.

Or synergy really isn't type related, though -- but I can't say it hurts either!

 

[EyeSeeCold]

My girlfriend is ESTP or ISTP, I can never figure which, but we do amazing together.

Or synergy really isn't type related, though -- but I can't say it hurts either!

For the sake of understanding, ISTPs are "smoother" than ESTPs who are kind of more electric or high wired. I usually take the I to indicate depth and the E type imply breadth, thus with ISTPs you feel kind of understood at a deep level and with ESTPs you feel accepted at face value.

For me it is kind of tricky to converse with ISTPs, it's like unless we both feel confident about a subject we will hold back parts ourselves, never jumping in headfirst. Though for ESTPs, it is easier as they are sort of a catalyst to my eccentricity (exactly why I cannot get enough of them ).

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Update:
So apparently INTPs really are INTjs in Socionics making INTPs and ENFJs semi-duals not ESTPs. I misunderstood the description of the semi-dual relationship, but the correct one, Supervision relationship, sounds more accurate.

Paraphrase:
In relations of Supervision, the Supervisee feels inadequate in the presence of the Supervisor and unconsciously tries to gain their approval. The Supervisor notices the Supervisee's attempts and tries to help admiringly, but all the Supervisee wants is the Supervisor's approval not their advice.

If you read my initial post you can see exactly what was going on, especially at step 6. Now I'm pretty sure this is a maturity thing, because feeling inadequate in the presence of another is a result of insecurity no matter how you approach it. While I still am attracted to ESTPs I can play down my fascination and sustain my self consciousness now that I know what it leads to.

The lust part was mainly due to my need for physical attention and my eminent intellect and their need for general stimulation, which I think is unique to ESTPs, who border on instinct and intellect. For me, it was like a buffet in every encounter driving up my urges to never before reached levels.

 

[DJArendee]

I'm an ESTP. Although I can't seem to shake this tag under my name off.

I make zero effort to look intelligent. I'd much rather make people laugh. But I get insulted when people tell me I'm an idiot, because they're usually too dumb to realize I'm a goofball.

 

[Czech Yes or No]

Yes, every girl has been one...

 

[xbox]

I feel more ENTP around INFP men. <3


you are the F to my T.

you are the S to my N

<3 <3 <3 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

[viche]

That's because INTPs and ESTPs are in relations of supervision. ESTP is supervisor to INTP, therefore INTPs will experience a lot of attraction to ESTP but this relationship is asymmetrical, meaning that ESTP won't value INTP as highly.

 

[intpz]

...I think I'd hate an ESTP. They are following rules (or if not them, their strong beliefs), don't like abstract concepts, like wild and crazy things. They are social and outgoing, which I would also hate. In fact, most likely I couldn't stand such a person.

Somewhat related to this: http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=12936

 

[EyeSeeCold]

This was a pretty dumb thread in retrospect.

...I think I'd hate an ESTP. They are following rules (or if not them, their strong beliefs), don't like abstract concepts, like wild and crazy things. They are social and outgoing, which I would also hate. In fact, most likely I couldn't stand such a person.

Somewhat related to this: http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=12936

There's no one I've related to better than my cousin, who I've typed ESTP. We think alike so much sometimes we say the same things, and we have similar approaches to life, except notable differences in initiative and social expectations. Our biggest similarities are self-reliance and aloofness, big enough that we could seem identical at times.

Other people who aren't related to me that I've typed ESTP, tend to be less agreeable(which is understandable not being familial), and I have more intense interactions with them unlike the "cooldown" atmosphere of my cousin and I when we hang out.

 

[intpz]

That's what I said, you'd have to find someone with really similar values and beliefs. Others would be kinda annoying.

 

[Pizzabeak]

My "girlfriend" is ESTP, which I found out today. The first time I had her take the test, which was a different one than the one I had her take today, she scored ISTP, which I thought was strange because she doesn't seem very introverted. She's also Ukrainian, moved here when she was 10, so she probably had some trouble answering & understanding some of the questions - that may or may not have played a part in her getting the type she got (she told me she put "mutual" on one of the questions because she wasn't sure how to answer it - not that I haven't done that though).

Anyway... I don't even know where to start. We're capable of acting very goofy together. I read her the ESTP profile today & she agreed with most of it.

Yeah, I don't even know where start. Any pointers ?

 

[viche]

...I think I'd hate an ESTP. They are following rules (or if not them, their strong beliefs), don't like abstract concepts, like wild and crazy things. They are social and outgoing, which I would also hate. In fact, most likely I couldn't stand such a person.

Somewhat related to this: http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=12936

I think you're confusing ESTP for some other type. They are notorious rule breakers and will adjust their beliefs situationally.

Not all of them are social and outgoing. This depends on their instinct stacking. ESTP sx/so or so/sx will be more outgoing but sp/sx and sx/sp will be more reclusive and domestic.

Functions don't reflect behaviors, rather mental orientation. Even if ESTP is an extraverted type, this doesn't mean that they are wild party animals or social butterflies.

 

[RedN]

ill just say im glad this is what some think about estps... it gets tiring, esp at the intj place, where some trash talk my type as bullies, con artists and flat out evil people...

 

[NinjaSurfer]

ill just say im glad this is what some think about estps... it gets tiring, esp at the intj place, where some trash talk my type as bullies, con artists and flat out evil people...

but all girls are evil, no?

 

[RedN]

do I look evil to you???!!!! HUHHHH???!!!

 

[pjoa09]

do I look evil to you???!!!! HUHHHH???!!!

red eyes, white fur.

Might as well be that rabbit from The Holy Grail.

 

[RedN]

-_- dont worry... the human behind the bunny pic has brown eyes and black hair

but aint my bunnies cute???!!!!! the left one is ms bunny and the right one is mr bunny!

 

[GYX_Kid]

I must have seen an ESTP female before, though none come to mind...

 

[ccmbeast]

Someone had to do it.

Anyone else find themselves dangerously attracted to ESTPs? All of the females I have ever really been extremely fascinated with have been ESTPs. I'm too lazy right now to pinpoint it, but for some reason this group is very irresistible. My experiences usually go like this:

1. Notice something shocking (appearance, language or gesture)
2. Attention is captured, observes with intense curiosity, infatuation ensues
3. Approach with intent to understand
4. Astounded by the "no prisoners" attitude, favoring a more cold approach to life
5. Disillusioned by imperfection, my values are reshaped to fit the object
6. Attempt to prove to the object that I'm just as "dangerous" and worthy of their presence

If feelings not reciprocated return to step 2, lust is increased.
If emotional/mental connection established I begin to open up

7. Goofiness ensues, happiness is achieved
8. Upon reflection of past experiences with object, the pleasures of the flesh become desired

Even before reading Socionics' description of such intertype relationships known as "Semi Duals", I had noticed a pattern of intense infatuation.

I feel that this is very accurate to me and my ESTP friend. It's been pretty intense from day one, and especially in the past few months, we've been getting more and more open about how we feel sexually about one another to each other :P Unfortunately, we can't act on it because of reasons.
We've been quite close for just over three years-ish. There have been on/off crushes, intense eyes, and this continnual sexual tension/bordering on frustration. It's also been hard and emotionally trying, but I feel like it's worth it. We have a very fun and playful relationship that I enjoy and we're both physically attracted to one another as well as emotionally close/open.
We've kissed, held hands, had tickle fights and kind of cuddled. I'd do it again, and I feel like he would too, but we're probably better just as friends.
Not a particuarly good match in terms of going out, but definitely very good friends

 

[Roark]

Always been attracted to smart ESTP girls. I've met 3 now that I've thought were ENTPs at first, but realized they don't understand my Ne as well. Either way, they all have cool style and are generally sexy. Also, pretty big flirts.

 

[brandmaus]

I don't think its a dumb thread. I've been working on understanding my feelings for an ESTP for 6 months. All steps described are present. Despite the big attraction there's this voice at the back of my head making me can't help but hold back. I realized it must be a maturity thing so I'm mostly in check (though sometimes hard).

 

[CloudHidden]

I dont know, all the ESTPs i have ever met, just gave me the impression that they are absolutely retarded, and almost as if they do it on purpose. Like they are determined to be stupid.

In fact i have a friend who i beleive is an ESTP, who constantly asks me to explain words i say. The most recent of which, i beleive was the word inconspicuous. (his stupidity is more likely product of enviroment, but his personality cant be helping any)

Ok I know the person that wrote this did so like six years ago, but this statement was so eerily specific and accurate to a person that I know that I feel compelled to comment. The ESTP person that I know does this exact thing, and sometime I do think people think he's kind of stupid but that's obviously (to me) not why he does it. He's just so on top of noticing the most minor of inconsistencies or unlikelihoods in another person's stories or arguments and he is stubborn about getting to the truth. He is a good communicator in the sense of getting to a mutually understood clarity about facts, but a poor communicator in the sense of being a bit insensitive to hurting the other person's feelings. And it's not like he doesn't know it, he's far from oblivious, he just literally doesn't care if he makes someone feel bad because he criticized their logic or if they come to regard him as maybe kind of retarded because he asks for clarification anytime even slight vagueness is detected. His only focus is on the practical reality of this moment, and in the context of a conversation that means clarifying problems and finding solutions. His focus is intense and single-minded, he will not be distracted by thoughts of how he's making you feel or what you think of him. But that intense interest makes you feel like you're so important, and like he really cares about you, sometimes giving the impression that he cares more than he really does, and that combined with his confidence in general which makes you feel like he can solve any problem, and his tendency to spread himself overly thin with a wide social circle of people who never know when he will randomly grace them with his presence, results in him being frequently inundated with requests to solve any number of people's personal problems. Sometimes he responds to such requests, but for selfish reasons - either an ulterior motive (material or sexual) or a sense of guilt, if the problem is very serious or if he has already used his charm to perhaps take advantage of the requestor which he most likely already has if she is, say, a female with a pulse. But he is also pretty good at knowing when such requests are just vies for his attention, which he will savagely ignore.
He's such a jerk. But it's not his fault. He's just so him, in a world where most people are so whatever. But seriously why the hell do I even like him? And why is he so hot and so interesting and awesome? And why does he treat me so good and make me feel so great, but only, you know, when he has extra time and he feels like it and the stars are aligned, or whatever. Rude.
So yes, I am infatuated. And as anyone with any sense can see, the person I just described is a total f-boy with a hero personna and a cadre of unfortunate lonely chicks he's breadcrumbing for his own ends resulting in there always being a number of girls desperately trying to elbow their way to his side; and who will never seriously give a shit about me or really anybody but his immediate family (and even those he truly cares about can't always see it in his actions). In other words, he is the consummate ladies man, and even as he sincerely loves and respects the ladies in general, and would never so much as speak a harsh word to a women, in truth he has no regard whatsoever for any individual woman's feelings. I mean his ignoring skills are off the charts. But he always comes back, to open arms. And that sarcastic, petty af text you spent two hours writing that you sent him the other day? Oh, he might have read part of that, he doesn't remember now.


But hey, what's happiness? I am in infatuated, unrequited love, and even as I am aware of the stark reality of my situation, I can't just not adore him. It is beginning to look hopeless.

 

[QuickTwist]

Ok I know the person that wrote this did so like six years ago, but this statement was so eerily specific and accurate to a person that I know that I feel compelled to comment. The ESTP person that I know does this exact thing, and sometime I do think people think he's kind of stupid but that's obviously (to me) not why he does it. He's just so on top of noticing the most minor of inconsistencies or unlikelihoods in another person's stories or arguments and he is stubborn about getting to the truth. He is a good communicator in the sense of getting to a mutually understood clarity about facts, but a poor communicator in the sense of being a bit insensitive to hurting the other person's feelings. And it's not like he doesn't know it, he's far from oblivious, he just literally doesn't care if he makes someone feel bad because he criticized their logic or if they come to regard him as maybe kind of retarded because he asks for clarification anytime even slight vagueness is detected. His only focus is on the practical reality of this moment, and in the context of a conversation that means clarifying problems and finding solutions. His focus is intense and single-minded, he will not be distracted by thoughts of how he's making you feel or what you think of him. But that intense interest makes you feel like you're so important, and like he really cares about you, sometimes giving the impression that he cares more than he really does, and that combined with his confidence in general which makes you feel like he can solve any problem, and his tendency to spread himself overly thin with a wide social circle of people who never know when he will randomly grace them with his presence, results in him being frequently inundated with requests to solve any number of people's personal problems. Sometimes he responds to such requests, but for selfish reasons - either an ulterior motive (material or sexual) or a sense of guilt, if the problem is very serious or if he has already used his charm to perhaps take advantage of the requestor which he most likely already has if she is, say, a female with a pulse. But he is also pretty good at knowing when such requests are just vies for his attention, which he will savagely ignore.
He's such a jerk. But it's not his fault. He's just so him, in a world where most people are so whatever. But seriously why the hell do I even like him? And why is he so hot and so interesting and awesome? And why does he treat me so good and make me feel so great, but only, you know, when he has extra time and he feels like it and the stars are aligned, or whatever. Rude.
So yes, I am infatuated. And as anyone with any sense can see, the person I just described is a total f-boy with a hero personna and a cadre of unfortunate lonely chicks he's breadcrumbing for his own ends resulting in there always being a number of girls desperately trying to elbow their way to his side; and who will never seriously give a shit about me or really anybody but his immediate family (and even those he truly cares about can't always see it in his actions). In other words, he is the consummate ladies man, and even as he sincerely loves and respects the ladies in general, and would never so much as speak a harsh word to a women, in truth he has no regard whatsoever for any individual woman's feelings. I mean his ignoring skills are off the charts. But he always comes back, to open arms. And that sarcastic, petty af text you spent two hours writing that you sent him the other day? Oh, he might have read part of that, he doesn't remember now.


But hey, what's happiness? I am in infatuated, unrequited love, and even as I am aware of the stark reality of my situation, I can't just not adore him. It is beginning to look hopeless.

https://youtu.be/w5LDEmudrzc

INFP confirmed.

 

[CloudHidden]

^your empathy is truly touching. Lol. No but being a dumb bitch does not eliminate INTP as a personality type. I know it's fucking dumb, so it's really not a matter of dumbth so much as it is one of reckless impulse, also, I'm fucking lonely ok? But i guess that's no excuse, considering I was less lonely before I met him and the crush began. Happier too, or at least, less unhappy most of the time. But now I have glorious days where I'm the center of his attention which is the same thing as being the center of the universe. Some people will never know how that feels. I guess, in my own irrationally rational way, it is worth it. I think?
And yet, I long for more. I don't think I will probably ever get it, but I'm going to keep hoping and trying and it's probably gonna kill me but when you want something that bad, it's nearly impossible not to hold on to even the tiniest sliver of unrealistic hope.
I have family members of brain damaged patients ALL THE TIME who are convinced someone is responding that isn't, or will recover that won't no matter how much explaining and pictures of brain scans we show them. Normally emotional thinking in the face of contrary evidence makes me mad, but not with these family members, because I know they just want the person to get better so bad that they can't stop hoping for it and believing it. You can be an INTP and have empathy, if there's a justification for the other person's seemingly unreasonable choices.
And who can rightly bash me for it? It's illogical but so are feelings. And unfortunately we are not rational spirit beings rather we are all animals, and therefore chemically inclined to do stupid shit that feels good. Plus, on the OPs original topic, it's a supervisory relationship, so me being enamored while he devalues me is just the way it goes. Nothing you can do for that. Maybe a little brain damage would help...

 

[QuickTwist]

^your empathy is truly touching. Lol. No but being a dumb bitch does not eliminate INTP as a personality type. I know it's fucking dumb, so it's really not a matter of dumbth so much as it is one of reckless impulse, also, I'm fucking lonely ok? But i guess that's no excuse, considering I was less lonely before I met him and the crush began. Happier too, or at least, less unhappy most of the time. But now I have glorious days where I'm the center of his attention which is the same thing as being the center of the universe. Some people will never know how that feels. I guess, in my own irrationally rational way, it is worth it. I think?
And yet, I long for more. I don't think I will probably ever get it, but I'm going to keep hoping and trying and it's probably gonna kill me but when you want something that bad, it's nearly impossible not to hold on to even the tiniest sliver of unrealistic hope.
I have family members of brain damaged patients ALL THE TIME who are convinced someone is responding that isn't, or will recover that won't no matter how much explaining and pictures of brain scans we show them. Normally emotional thinking in the face of contrary evidence makes me mad, but not with these family members, because I know they just want the person to get better so bad that they can't stop hoping for it and believing it. You can be an INTP and have empathy, if there's a justification for the other person's seemingly unreasonable choices.
And who can rightly bash me for it? It's illogical but so are feelings. And unfortunately we are not rational spirit beings rather we are all animals, and therefore chemically inclined to do stupid shit that feels good. Plus, on the OPs original topic, it's a supervisory relationship, so me being enamored while he devalues me is just the way it goes. Nothing you can do for that. Maybe a little brain damage would help...

My position is a bit more complicated than just being a jerk.

Emotions actually are quite rational as much as some people from this site would have you believe otherwise. Emotions are logical because they are so tied to memory. Emotions are tools your brain uses to "prepare" for certain circumstances. Fear is an emotion that creates a bodily response to react to danger. We are nothing more than meat robots, though our brain, because of the way it works, makes us think there is something spiritual about us, but we are actually quite mechanical emotions included.

Besides all that, I judged you too fast. I saw a post you made in another thread (for got which one or what was said) that made me think you are actually pretty intelligent, but reading your posts in this thread makes me think you are pretty young.

 

[CloudHidden]

When it come so to intellectual topics I am intelligent. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, well, those were never my thing, so it's not surprising to me that I come off as very young, essentially you are saying I sound immature. I mean I am young, sort of...not sure how young you're thinking, but suffice to say I have a child, and a career, so I'm no teenager. Maybe the real problem is I need to stop fucking with a grown man who acts like a teenager, and then maybe I won't revert to feeling like one.
Also, I don't paint a pretty picture. I'm brutally honest. Most people who say that are only brutally honest when their honesty may be hurtful to others, but not when it comes to giving unflattering details about themselves. I hate that, so hypocritical. I'll lay out every reason why I'm a dumbass, even if the result is people think I'm a dumbass. For some reason it makes me feel better about being a dumbass. Especially since I have a personality type where intelligence is so central to my identity, for some reason it kind of feels good to say look, I'm stupid sometimes.

 

[QuickTwist]

When it come so to intellectual topics I am intelligent. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, well, those were never my thing, so it's not surprising to me that I come off as very young, essentially you are saying I sound immature. I mean I am young, sort of...not sure how young you're thinking, but suffice to say I have a child, and a career, so I'm no teenager. Maybe the real problem is I need to stop fucking with a grown man who acts like a teenager, and then maybe I won't revert to feeling like one.
Also, I don't paint a pretty picture. I'm brutally honest. Most people who say that are only brutally honest when their honesty may be hurtful to others, but not when it comes to giving unflattering details about themselves. I hate that, so hypocritical. I'll lay out every reason why I'm a dumbass, even if the result is people think I'm a dumbass. For some reason it makes me feel better about being a dumbass. Especially since I have a personality type where intelligence is so central to my identity, for some reason it kind of feels good to say look, I'm stupid sometimes.

Well, you are definitely not depressed, so that is good.