Does this resonate with you?

[B.C.P.]

Hey, whatever-type's.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwhSwVqAiQc

At 4:36 in this video, the woman (ENFP) mentions an interaction with a romantic (INTP) partner in which he was indecisive about basic decisions that needed to be made. This struck me as odd because, as an INTP, I'm good at deciding what should be done about a problem.

I am merely quiet for a moment before I return to the conversation with a solution. I do not offer it as a decision already made, however. Instead I do my best to convince the other person that it's the most logical thing to do.

This seems like typical INTP behavior from what I know of the type (I don't know any other INTP's personally). Is it possible that not making decisions for another perceiver could be seen by them as being indecisive?

Our Ti compels us to reach closure, though Ne may blast the loop open again for another go-around. Still, I do not think that INTP's - for all their P-ness - are ultimately indecisive about deciding what should be done about a situation.

Maybe this is just me. I'm interested in what you folks think.

Thanks.

 

[Hadoblado]

Our Ti compels us to reach closure, though Ne may blast the loop open again for another go-around.

This.

I never make short-term plans. I think of possibilities then go with whatever seems most appropriate at the time.

In group decision making I present option, then let the others figure out what is going to be done.

I can make decisions when my hand is forced, but it's never my preference. I couldn't watch the video since I'm at uni, but if it's talking about problems that come from being unable to make decisions in a relationship, I don't think I have that problem.

 

[Pyropyro]

Hey, whatever-type's.


At 4:36 in this video, the woman (ENFP) mentions an interaction with a romantic (INTP) partner in which he was indecisive about basic decisions that needed to be made. This struck me as odd because, as an INTP, I'm good at deciding what should be done about a problem.

I am merely quiet for a moment before I return to the conversation with a solution. I do not offer it as a decision already made, however. Instead I do my best to convince the other person that it's the most logical thing to do.

This seems like typical INTP behavior from what I know of the type (I don't know any other INTP's personally). Is it possible that not making decisions for another perceiver could be seen by them as being indecisive?

Our Ti compels us to reach closure, though Ne may blast the loop open again for another go-around. Still, I do not think that INTP's - for all their P-ness - are ultimately indecisive about deciding what should be done about a situation.

Maybe this is just me. I'm interested in what you folks think.

Thanks.

Ah I remember watching this vid when I was interested in an ENFP girl. I think she's just unlucky enough to get an immature INTP. The guy hasn't developed the means how to reciprocate feeler's needs yet.

As for decision making, we tend to be slow to decide especially on more complex problems with lots of factors which may be seen as indecisive. However, for mundane things I think we can quickly come up with useful and efficient solutions and execute them.

 

[B.C.P.]

@Hadoblado

Essentially, her issue was that the INTP would just respond with "we'll figure it out" to decisions that needed to be made regarding who was moving to which state, who would be making the money in the relationship, etc.

That didn't mean he didn't have a solution, however. He may have just needed more information before he made a decision.

It made me wonder whether or not INTP's, and other perceivers in general, are labeled as indecisive because they don't make decisions for others, and instead come to their own conclusion which they then attempt to get the other person to agree to.

It doesn't seem right that a person would then be seen as indecisive. It seems like what others are referring to when invoking the word "decisive" is "controlling"; the type of person who doesn't seek consensus but just makes decisions and considers them concrete.

 

[B.C.P.]

As for decision making, we tend to be slow to decide especially on more complex problems with lots of factors which may be seen as indecisive. However, for mundane things I think we can quickly come up with useful and efficient solutions and execute them.

I agree that INTP's don't have a problem with deciding on mundane things - if they catch our interest at all - but on the more complex issues it certainly takes time to understand them in full. Maybe it's the lack of a naive conclusion that makes others think we "indecisive." I think it's silly because a conclusion that doesn't have a comprehensive grasp of what is being decided is not a conclusion at all, it's a preliminary action-step. What does this say of the indecisive person when they have to later change their minds? Why is that not more of an inconvenience than the time it takes to come up with a comprehensive conclusion?

 

[Pyropyro]

Oh by the way, welcome B.C.P.. It seems that it's your first time here in the forum. I hope you get to learn more stuff while you're here.

 

[B.C.P.]

Thanks, Pyro. I'm looking forward to my stay here.

 

[r4ch3l]

I've been with two ENFPs. Lived with the first for three years and part of what made us compatible was that we were both indecisive but really good at spontaneously making plans and decisions together. Because we were similar in this way we made a good team and had a lot of fun.

Second ENFP was early-30s, very driven in his career while being able to simultaneously maintain a very hedonistic lifestyle. Always has 20 different backup plans (social or career) in various stages of development and chooses the best one as he goes. He got frustrated with my own indecisiveness about my life direction and we were both too messy to function very well together. But we had a lot of fun as well.

ENFPs = oooh, shiny new thing!
& INTPs = oooh, shiny new idea!
It's a good match in a lot of ways but, yes, the Ne bomb makes it hard to nail anything down or navigate reality.

 

[Architect]

What a strange world we live in, where a women would make a video of herself like this and post it for the entire world to watch. Otherwise it's a somewhat interesting video, if she is an ENFP. I've always wondered what that type is like. She does seem a little analytical however, is that a hallmark of this type?

Ha, okay ENFPs have Te in their functional stack, third place. Also with Si in the inferior we can see a desire to examine her past life here which is why she is perhaps putting it out here in the public forum. Very interesting…

As to what she is saying, who cares? It's all anecdotal and too hard to judge after the fact.

 

[Deckard]

I have a few INTP friends who are absolutely horrendous at collectively making group decisions. Figuring out the absolute basics of anything related to what the group should do next is an exercise in excruciating tedium. I'm not sure why some INTPs have a problem with this. Maybe it's an insecurity related to imposing one's personal views unnecessarily strongly on the group. Maybe it's a fear of commitment to a plan. Maybe difficulty assimilating various sources of information to determine the best course of action. Whatever it is, it's fucking annoying. I've noticed some of those friends have become more assertive with their preferences (in a good way) as they've become more socially experienced and self-confident.

 

[r4ch3l]

What a strange world we live in, where a women would make a video of herself like this and post it for the entire world to watch.

Get off my <strike>lawn</strike> internets!

I've always wondered what that type is like. She does seem a little analytical however, is that a hallmark of this type?

They're interesting. Usually very intelligent but in a way that is very different than INTPs detail-oriented-ness. IMO their Ne brings out our Ne and Fi compliments our sad, confused Fe.

I believe the problems she is describing would be common in most NP x NP relationships.

 

[Vict]

She makes a smacking noise frequently.

And looks cute in those glasses.

 

[dream&bass]

I'm good at making decisions for myself but I hate making long term plans as I don't feel I understand enough in the present moment to forecast the future.

 

[B.C.P.]

It was always my impression that a J/P relationship would result in the J thinking the P was too errant, while the P would feel pressure from the J to become more scheduled. I can't think of how the J would feel pressure from the P because all the J's I know don't relinquish any control to the P in the relationship.

The J/J relationships I've seen are power struggles, and it seems as though P/P relationships are what the woman described, figuratively, "what do you wanna do?" "I dunno... what do you wanna do?"

In defense of J/P relationships, I do see how there could be a balance of powers.

 

[DIALECTIC]

It was always my impression that a J/P relationship would result in the J thinking the P was too errant, while the P would feel pressure from the J to become more scheduled. I can't think of how the J would feel pressure from the P because all the J's I know don't relinquish any control to the P in the relationship.

The J/J relationships I've seen are power struggles, and it seems as though P/P relationships are what the woman described, figuratively, "what do you wanna do?" "I dunno... what do you wanna do?"

In defense of J/P relationships, I do see how there could be a balance of powers.

I totally agree, the J is the Yang and the P the Yin... 2 "P's" together and nothing is ever done and 2 "J's" together and things are done obsessively / compulsively...

However in stressful / challenging situations, out of 2 "P's" one will automatically switch to a "J" in order to save the day through decisive action... And the same goes for 2 "J's"; in stressful / challenging situations one will automatically switch to "P" to prevent both to go too far... That's what the shadow is about: to automatically produce an opposite psychic response to the conscious attitude and "unblock" the current situation.

 

[B.C.P.]

That's a good point, Dialectic.

I think the "stressful/challenging" situations are interesting for INTP's, as well as difficult for the others involved, because the INTP has an awkward functional stack for solving the problem and communicating with others simultaneously. First of all, we're trying to handle the situation with introverted functions, and when we are using our extraverted functions to communicate our thoughts and feelings, we can seem aimless (Ne) and unstable (Fe).

I've driven people away before because of how "calm" I am, as if "I just don't care" (their words). I think that's what happened in this case, or as Pyro said, "she's just unlucky enough to get an immature INTP." (yes I just called myself immature).

 

[DIALECTIC]

I've driven people away before because of how "calm" I am, as if "I just don't care" (their words). I think that's what happened in this case, or as Pyro said, "she's just unlucky enough to get an immature INTP." (yes I just called myself immature).

We INTPs may be emotionally immature but it is to compensate for being intellectually overly mature.
Our natural godhead is the Logos not Eros, however i guess our "mission" in life is to apprehend / embrace Eros in order for it to make one with the Logos...


"By Logos I meant discrimination, judgment, insight, and by Eros I meant the capacity to relate. I regarded both concepts as intuitive ideas which cannot be defined accurately or exhaustively. From the scientific point of view this is regrettable, but from a practical one it has its value, since the two concepts mark out a field of experience which it is equally difficult to define.

There is no consciousness without discrimination of opposites. This is the paternal principle, the Logos, which eternally struggles to extricate itself from the primal warmth and primal darkness of the maternal womb; in a word, from unconsciousness.["Psychological Aspects of the Mother Archetype," CW 9i, par. 178. CARL JUNG]

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

extroverts grate on my nerves. (she seems nice/ intelligent/ articulate enough...butttt)

sounds like the INTP guy had a small wiener, too (best guess as to the thing she leaves unsaid)

Some are more well endowed than others. Just saying.

 

[Seed-Wad]

Never like to drop in for a curse, but I'm kinda perplexed no one has yet mentioned her astounding proficiency in being a fucking bitch.

or is it just me