Do you want kids? Why? Why not?

[reeya27]

I've been curious as to whether or not wanting children could be correlated to each MBTI type. Obviously, there would be other characteristics influencing the desire to have children or not, but it would still make an interesting topic. I also read somewhere that rational types are least likely to want to have children because there's less of a logical reason to have them. Share your thoughts~

 

[Knick]

I would be very surprised if there's any correlation between wanting children and MBTI...

Personally, no. I'm barely responsible enough for myself, and my nurturing nature is... lacking.

 

[peoplesuck]

hell no, i have a cat
^ why there should be correlation:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/women-high-iqs-moms-study-article-1.1421592

http://www.slayerment.com/which-smartest-mbti-type

 

[reeya27]

hell no, i have a cat
^ why there should be correlation:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/women-high-iqs-moms-study-article-1.1421592

http://www.slayerment.com/which-smartest-mbti-type

That is very interesting. Perhaps it has to do with the desire to seek out the understanding and knowledge of oneself, rather than be responsible for a small human? Either way, that was an interesting read. Thank you

 

[somebodiesfool]

Yes, I'm an NT and would like kids with the right person. I am in the midst of getting my own house in order so, it's not really a good time I suppose.

The girl I could see raising a family with really wants nothing to do with me so, it's been hard opening up my heart to someone new even when opportunities have arisen.

I'm going to see a therapist so, I hope we can work through some of my relationship issues. Hopefully, I can learn to stop being so clingy.

If it never happens that I raise kids though, I'd probably be a lot better off. It seems like enough work caring for myself sometimes given my mental health medical history.

 

[TheManBeyond]

no, i don't contemplate the possibility of having to grow a milksquezzer like me. hell no

 

[Haim]

I want but only after I make much more progress so that It won't deny me of the things I want to do and will want to do.

 

[Jennywocky]

I enjoyed having kids because (1) they gave me someone with whom to share the things I'd learned and also to (2) explore things about the world with. I'm a curious person, and my children were all curious. (3) It gave me a few relationships that will continue to exist regardless, so I feel a bit more grounded. and (4) I learned things being a parent and being stretched that I might not have had the tenacity to learn elsewhere. (5) They taught me other stuff, when they've had interests in areas I'm not familiar with, so it's been a two-way street. (6) They're funny as hell -- great senses of humor -- and can make me laugh.

At the same time, kids can be a huge drain on resources (time and money and personal energy); they can restrict your freedom when they are young; and once you have them, you're always a parent even when they're grown. There's always a cost to anything good.

 

[Inquisitor]

f*ck no.

 

[_whispers_]

Not right now, but maybe some day. As things are I'm horrified of the idea of giving birth (to the point where I start crying, feel strangled and develop a massive headache ), I'm entertaining different ways I can deal with this. I would like to have the option even if I never decide to actually do it.

 

[al.otakupunk]

Only by adoption. There are way too many personal, physical, and emotional reasons for me to not have any children, one of which is me being afraid of becoming abusive.

 

[crippli]

I would like kids, as I have a nurturing side. My father wants to give the family riches to me, as I am the only one who invest time on the farm. And give away my expertise to improve the various systems that is in play. He is skeptical that I will get bored when at a time it will me just me. So this would probably be a good time to do some activity with my missing sex parts to improve on yet another system in play. If I could find someone who would get excited by me, and not just my body. Strictly speaking, the latter should be sufficient. But so far, that haven't satisfied me to go all in with the chips.

 

[Sinny91]

I dunno.

I'm only just about to turn 24, however, I've already had many friends, peers and family members asking me when I'm going to have a sprog; 70% of the girls grew up with have had children already.

I've had two bf's who have wanted me to have a baby, but I've always been scared, and not ready.

I've recently decided that I don't want the life of conformity; Go school, college, uni, work (made it up to this part), buy house, consume, make baby consumers, die. I dont know what I want in life, but I know what I don't want.

Other problems include, changes to my body. In the last two years I've gone from 8st to 10st, and to my horror developed some mean looking marks.
I don't fancy my chances with a human being growing inside of me D:

Then there's the issue of finding a suitable person I'd like to have a child with.
I'm no where near the mark.

I'm most socially awkward with babies. I don't see how others think they're cute, cats and furry things are cute, babies are needy blobs who create a lot of mess.

I do have maternal instincts, but only with children above 5ish, dunno why.
I'm terrified I'd be inadequate, and unable to offer it the 'mushy' sort of love which babies seem to need.

Having said all that, I do want all the things that Jenny described, to miss out on the opportunity would be missing out on one of the glorious gifts life has to offer.

This wouldn't be so hard if life spans were 150, but I've got about ten years max to figure this mess out, and I just don't think it's long enough, my mother is already wanting a granchild.

 

[Yellow]

hell no, i have a cat
^ why there should be correlation:

Ditto. Except I have 2 cats of my own and a step-cat

Being a mother is a job that you can't quit, and that thought frightens me.

 

[Jennywocky]

I have a cat, and he doesn't listen to a damn thing I say.
(little bastard. <-- That's my nickname for him.)

I'm glad housecats aren't 5' tall, or he'd be a velociraptor with fur.

 

[JimJambones]

I love my kids. I get to teach them cool shit and how to think for themselves, which probably means they won't be popular.

 

[Lot]

I wouldn't mind kids. I used to really want kids. But I'm a drug user and I believe in fairies and gnomes and spirit guides. I don't know how to explain that shit to kids. Daddy sucks on the magic glass wand and leaves his body. Then he eats a cactus and laughs about the giant monster under the city while listening to the grateful dead. I would love to shock one of my kids with a mushroom trip while camping when they become a teenager. Like best dad ever status.

Maybe in a few years, when I've settled down.

 

[Minuend]

Not a world I'd choose for kids. If I were to go to the lenghts of creating life, I'd want more for them than this. Neither do I see any reason why humanity should go on at all. I'm also not sure whether this country will keep being able to be prosperous some decades in the future. And you have x amount of illnesses, some temporary others permanent, that could easily make a life painful.

Of course children might become very different from yourself, but I find myself growing increasingly disinterested with people. There's so few interesting people out there. Whenever I see a new intro thread I'm thinking there might be an intriguing personality to observe. But 99/100 that's not so. Which is ofc more about finding people with your particular vibration of weird, then being objectively interesting.
People being a large part of work, school, health care etc, it can become frustrating at times.

Even if I decided on kids, I don't think I'd want my own less I transfer autism, concentration and digestion problems and a propable tendendy for auto immune problems.

What I could see myself doing is taking in a foster teenager or so. Maybe.

 

[Black Rose]

Not a world I'd choose for kids. If I were to go to the lenghts of creating life, I'd want more for them than this. Neither do I see any reason why humanity should go on at all. I'm also not sure whether this country will keep being able to be prosperous some decades in the future. And you have x amount of illnesses, some temporary others permanent, that could easily make a life painful.

Of course children might become very different from yourself, but I find myself growing increasingly disinterested with people. There's so few interesting people out there. Whenever I see a new intro thread I'm thinking there might be an intriguing personality to observe. But 99/100 that's not so. Which is ofc more about finding people with your particular vibration of weird, then being objectively interesting.
People being a large part of work, school, health care etc, it can become frustrating at times.

Even if I decided on kids, I don't think I'd want my own less I transfer autism, concentration and digestion problems and a propable tendendy for auto immune problems.

What I could see myself doing is taking in a foster teenager or so. Maybe.

why do you spy on me

cuteness is not weird

i think my mom was like that a little


The main reason i'd have kids would be if i had someone who loved me.
my father was an abusive asshole who sold my moms food stamps for marijuana.
she divorced him when i was 6, i don't think things would be so bad for my kids.

ps to those unaware, i am a male.

 

[Pyropyro]

I want kids but probably when I'm in my 30's. It doesn't matter if I have to adapt them or if I father them naturally.

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

Yes but only when I feel mature enough to be a parent. And no adoption, i want to experience pregnancy myself

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I usually grow tired with people, save for a select few.

That said, I prefer kids and young people to complete "adults", they are more open and unaware of the status game that most of the society wants to participate in (all the clothing, boasting, jokes and figures of speech just to make believe and whatnot), on most family meetings I either hang out with the kids and talk about crazy ideas and explain how the world works or with my brother plus my introverted cousin, any other family member is awkward and forced to talk to. I'm also the person they leave their kids with when I have the time for it.

I suppose I'd want a single child if my partner would be willing to commit, because I don't see having children any other way than quitting the job, homeschooling and giving them everything they need to grow, which not only requires loads of money and established life security, but also my maturity (mental and physical health of everyone involved), time, willingness, knowledge and so on. There's no way I would leave them to deal with the flawed educational system in their critical years. Fostering independence, curiosity and confidence is crucial and it's not what the current societal setting offers or promotes.

I don't see it happening anytime soon, and not in the next 3-4 years, definitely. Maybe when I'm lucky and I find someone around 30 age mark.

Again, all that said, I'm fine with being single and not having to force myself to cater to else's expectations and social requirements. I find it likely that I will become increasingly independent and happy with my solitary state of things, so the above view might become even less likely.

 

[Vrecknidj]

I have two sons (ages 21 and 26), they're both introverted NTs. My wife is an introverted NF.

It's all good.

But, to respond to the original post: I don't want any more, thanks.

 

[crippli]

Articles like these make me wonder what my motivation are for wanting to produce human children.
http://advances.sciencemag.org/content/1/5/e1400253.full

This is real stuff. Unfortunately it doesn't make me particularly horny.

Still. I do think my own life would become richer.

 

[Alias]

I want children for multiple reasons. One is to be able to say "And that, kids, is how I met your mother." Another is to be able to raise a child intelligently, and bring an independent, intelligent individual into the world. The things I see stupid parents do don't dishearten me, but instead encourage me to raise a child to be healthier and smarter. Recently I saw a child in a carriage who couldn't have been older than 3 being fed potato chips. Absolutely disgusting. When I was 3, I didn't even know what potatoes were, let alone potato chips. They're encouraging dependence on unhealthy foods at a young age. It's like they raised that kid to die of heart disease! I want my kids to be smarter than the average. And if they grow to be kind of on the lower side of intelligence, so be it. I just want to raise a tolerant, independent individual unlikely to become a serial killer or worse.

 

[SuicideSummer]

Yeah I like kids but I dont want to have any because I dont think ill be able to raise them. i love their innocence and kinda connect to them but theres this pessimistic part of me that tells me youll never be able to give them a good life. And sometimea I think why bring more souls on this fucked up world. God im sad right now.

 

[Brontosaurie]

i would be the best daddy ever it's not even not true

but maybe i want to exert vengeance on the world by denying it such an opportunity

 

[lelldoren71]

When I was young I didn't want kids. I had stereotypical INTP reasons. :-)
#1) The world was already overpopulated and I was "Guessing" that this was a leading cause of may problems. (Starvation/War/Poverty) Obviously I was a naive idealist at the time.
#2) I did not understand children, especially babies. They were little aliens whose needs and motivations baffled me. (Turns out I was the alien :-))
#3) I was almost paralyzingly shy and could not see how I could have children if I couldn't speak to girl. :-)


But as luck had it I met a girl in college and knocked her up. :-) We got married and I have two beautiful and irreverent children. Being a narcissistic INTP I ended up getting divorced but I am so glad that things worked out as they did. I think as INTP's we live in our own minds to much. Children remind us that something extraordinary is happening outside or conceptual world. They draw us into the world. Unlike adults children are not typically duplicitous or complicated. As my children are now grown I would like to offer one caution to INTP parents. "Work on empathy not rationality" Your kids are not you. Believe me.

 

[Chymera]

I like kids in small doses, once they're old enough to support they're own heads and communicate in some form of standard language. Babies scare me because they seem so fragile, but once kids start speaking and expressing their curiosity its awesome. Its fascinating to ask them questions and see how they react to the world around them.
I think I'd rather be an Auntie. To be so wholly responsible for another human's wellbeing is terrifying. Especially in the beginning when they're so easy to break... I've thought about adopting a kid in need someday but the circumstances would have to be right..

 

[Sixup]

I'll probably have a kid eventually.

I mean...it's about the only real purpose in life. Survive, replicate, die. Everything else is arbitrary or hocus pocus.

 

[roguedoll]

I enjoyed having kids because (1) they gave me someone with whom to share the things I'd learned and also to (2) explore things about the world with. I'm a curious person, and my children were all curious. (3) It gave me a few relationships that will continue to exist regardless, so I feel a bit more grounded. and (4) I learned things being a parent and being stretched that I might not have had the tenacity to learn elsewhere. (5) They taught me other stuff, when they've had interests in areas I'm not familiar with, so it's been a two-way street. (6) They're funny as hell -- great senses of humor -- and can make me laugh.

Yes, I want kids for all of these reasons.

 

[Noph]

Wouldn't have any kids. I'm young though (21) and I can't pretend that won't change in the years to come, but right now the idea of having such a crippling responsability is terrifying.

 

[Sabreena]

In theory, maybe, but I don't know that I'll ever be able to handle such a responsibility. And the world is overpopulated, with way tooo many orphans and neglected kids in the world. I think I would adopt rather than go through difficult body changes (I have like no tolerance to pain.) Which works out nicely becaue I'm a lesbian.

 

[Cereal4Dinner]

I probably shouldn't think how difficult it is being a parent (I think it'll come by instinct naturally...) so I don't think being responsible is a problem for me.

I think what really matter is I don't think I'll ever find someone that will love me and whom I'll fully love that I'd want to marry them and have children with. Long story :/

 

[purpleorganism]

I would like kids in theory but I'm always afraid of getting bored with them. And that's the first hurdle. The process of raising a child is mundane and I want to travel and at this point in my life I'm too selfish. But once I get over that it's the fear of the outside world. I know I'm gonna raise a good kid but I can't control other parents raising shit kids. Adoption is always a great choice but I can't see myself getting married so no one's gonna actually give me a kid so I'm just kinda stuck there.

 

[Prískilla]

I don't want kids because they're a huge commitment that I don't think I could handle and I'm not that good with kids. Plus the Earth is overpopulated as is.