I am still struggling with how I think. It is evading me.
I have complete conversations in my head. But is it the inner dialogue mentioned e.g. in Castaneda?
I have these conversations to straighten out my thought son a topic. E.g. my unified theory or TOE I repeat to myself so find the right wording and make it clear to myself.
That is thinking, but it is purposeful. Does that count? Because as I type this I phrase my words as well, I don't see a picture. I don't understand how I could type words from a mental image of what I want to say.
So that is not what thinking in words means?
So if I deliberately phrase words with a goal to clarify things to myself, it is not thinking in words, is it? It is just talking internally.
I also fantasize endlessly, obsessively about being in court. When I do repetitive task, I become aggressive and play out scenario's. I become violent. I defend myself from anyone that harms me in any way. And when cops come and challenge me, I resist. Often I kill them. And then I am in court and then I phrase too. I phrase my defense. I repeat over and over trying to find the perfect wording.
But that is not thinking either is it? That is just talking internally.
Thinking to me means that what you 'do' when it is not deliberate. But when I phrase my defense or phrase my argument or TOE or whatever topic I am considering, I do have pictures associated with it. So when I am in court, I will picture a court room situation. The picture comes out of memory, I been in a court room once.
When I word my TOE, it is all very abstract, but I create imagery with it.
SO am I now thinking in words or pictures? Because the piuctures are the imagery-equivalent of phrasing. That isn't thinking, is it?
That is just hwta you 'do' to formulate and organize thought. Thought itself is different? That is what you do when you aren't watching, right?
So when you watch tv and get distracted and not really paying attention, THAT is what thinking is because it flows naturally, and THAT is what we talk about here right?
But how can you know how you think, as soon as you become aware of it, it will not be thinking again.
Or am I using the wrong definition of thought here?
Thinking purely in images, I can't imagine. Aren't you in a mental hospital then? A constant stream of imagery in the mind, it must make one crazy.