Do you like to be challenged?

[Forensic1999]

I find it mentally stimulating and invigorating to have my ideas, thoughts, and perceptions challenged, even harshly criticized.
Most of the time...
But then there are times I won't back down, I am so set in an idea because of personal experience and maybe even certain knowledge that others have not been exposed to. I will also only let myself be tested by someone I know to be as intelligent or more intelligent than me, when concerning intellectual matters, i.e. I will not let a shallow/touchy-feely idiot give me advice. This also applies when I know someone is just trying to tear me down for the sake of it and has no grounded knowledge for their statements.

 

[Rebis]

Naturally it's mentally stimulating for anyone to remove pre-conceived notions for new ones, it's learning after all. It is also natural not to back down if you feel you've considered more factors than another party, based on your personality type revolving around asking why you probably go a few layers deep compared to others, therefore precedenting your stubbornness that you've considered more factors.

Through out your comments on the forum I feel as if you fixate on intelligence a lot, there is no subject matter that is intelligent, there are only matters which are simple and complex. Do not become bottlenecked by intelligence as if it's akin to the divine right of kings. The word means nothing except when an individual possessing the quality applies himself to master a subject.

Just relax, you don't need to mention intelligence explicitly, the context gives the impression of complexity: You have more knowledge and insight than someone else, you prefer logic over emotions, you're skeptical of people's behaviour. All identifiable qualities of an INTP.

Maybe I have an aversion to the word, but really there is few cases where you need to mention intelligence.

 

[Forensic1999]

Naturally it's mentally stimulating for anyone to remove pre-conceived notions for new ones, it's learning after all. It is also natural not to back down if you feel you've considered more factors than another party, based on your personality type revolving around asking why you probably go a few layers deep compared to others, therefore precedenting your stubbornness that you've considered more factors.

Through out your comments on the forum I feel as if you fixate on intelligence a lot, there is no subject matter that is intelligent, there are only matters which are simple and complex. Do not become bottlenecked by intelligence as if it's akin to the divine right of kings. The word means nothing except when an individual possessing the quality applies himself to master a subject.

Just relax, you don't need to mention intelligence explicitly, the context gives the impression of complexity: You have more knowledge and insight than someone else, you prefer logic over emotions, you're skeptical of people's behaviour. All identifiable qualities of an INTP.

Maybe I have an aversion to the word, but really there is few cases where you need to mention intelligence.

Intelligence has always defined my self-worth. Therefore in my mind, if I lack it, I am simply worth nothing. I don't see myself worthy of anything so I base my entire being into it's hands. I want as much knowledge as I can get but it's never enough, i'm a perfectionist. I will never do enough to please myself. In my eyes it's all just ashes and dust.

So in your terms I thrive on complexity, and shun simplicity. Life plays out like a movie in my head, I try and imagine scenarios, complex situations I put myself in to the point I believe they are real. Yes, I am delusional.

 

[Rebis]

Intelligence has always defined my self-worth. Therefore in my mind, if I lack it, I am simply worth nothing. I don't see myself worthy of anything so I base my entire being into it's hands. I want as much knowledge as I can get but it's never enough, i'm a perfectionist. I will never do enough to please myself. In my eyes it's all just ashes and dust.

So in your terms I thrive on complexity, and shun simplicity. Life plays out like a movie in my head, I try and imagine scenarios, complex situations I put myself in to the point I believe they are real. Yes, I am delusional.

Intelligence and knowledge are not interchangable.

Value is meaningless outside of context. Are you really a perfectionist, what have you perfected? Are you developing yourself or revelling in your own assigned self-importance?

Do you think you're talking about complexity right now? I assure you, this is quite simple in my eyes and I would guess it's simple in others too. Are you actually what you think you are, or like the people you mentioned that thought they knew more than you, are you deluding yourself of your relevance the same way they're deluding themselves of their relevance?

What's the theme here? Complexity is only understood through complexity, Intelligence is only understood by intelligence. There will always be someone more intelligent than you so it's best to not define yourself by a scalar, virtues are best.

What have you actually done today? Be honest. What was complex about your day and why do you think that's so intelligent that others couldn't possibly understand?

You remind me of myself when I was young, self-absorbed and arrogant. Maybe you're rarely challenged because you haven't stepped into the real world, basing your comparative worth on the people you grew up with in an isolated town. It is not that there is nothing in this world that can challenge you it's just you're sitting in a small pond and haven't migrated to the bigger challenge.

Don't take anything I say to heart I'm not trying to antagonize you there's just something incomplete about the way you're viewing things. Likewise, if someone feels I'm expressing an incomplete picture by all means, correct me.

 

[Forensic1999]

Yeah, I do believe I am narcissistic.
I don't really know how to converse with others, and I don't like to admit that I am high-functioning autistic, because I believe it will be looked very much down upon. But f%%% it.
No, i'm sure i'm not as intelligent as 95% of the people on this forum. Do you think I really come here to prove how smart I am? Pretty much my whole life iv'e been asking myself "Am I an idiot who thinks i'm smart, or do I have at least something in my thick skull." Most of the conclusions I make point to being a dumb-ass just trying to feel like I have some kind of worth. I am a perfectionist in the sense that if I do something, it better the hell be done right. Of course nothing is "perfect" which is why i'm hard on myself.
Yeah I've been told there's something missing about me. Not sure what it is but maybe that's what i'm trying to figure out.

 

[Rebis]

Yeah, I do believe I am narcissistic.
I don't really know how to converse with others, and I don't like to admit that I am high-functioning autistic, because I believe it will be looked very much down upon. But f%%% it.
No, i'm sure i'm not as intelligent as 95% of the people on this forum. Do you think I really come here to prove how smart I am? Pretty much my whole life iv'e been asking myself "Am I an idiot who thinks i'm smart, or do I have at least something in my thick skull." Most of the conclusions I make point to being a dumb-ass just trying to feel like I have some kind of worth. I am a perfectionist in the sense that if I do something, it better the hell be done right. Of course nothing is "perfect" which is why i'm hard on myself.
Yeah I've been told there's something missing about me. Not sure what it is but maybe that's what i'm trying to figure out.

Your existence is valid regardless. Firstly do not be a slave to your identity. My conversation with you will never be predicated on A) You're a high functioning autist or B) You believe you're narcissistic, no point trying to pigeonhole people and make them feel bad about it.

It doesn't matter how intelligent you think we are, everytime you climb up the competence hierarchy another layer becomes present to you. What you realise is it's a hierarchy of sacrifice: The person above you has invested more time (which is a sacrifice as they consumed time to complete a goal.) As you climb through these ranks you realise humility is key, arrogance gets you nowhere except a delusion. No growth occurs if you do not accept you have failed (this is different from thinking you may be a failure).

Aiming for perfection is pointless, the very task itself will never be achieved and stop you from aiming towards practical solution. Given your quote "Intelligence has always defined my self-worth " it's natural for you to prove your intelligence for validation. Don't reduce your existence to a scalar.

Who cares whether you're smart or not, even in corporate all they care about is results.

 

[Forensic1999]

My validation is worthless if I do nothing with my life.
What makes anyone's existence valid if it has no meaning? What proves my worth? Nothing. I was born, I will die. Such is life.

 

[Forensic1999]

The real importance are the people who have actually made a difference in history and overall the whole of our existence. If I work at a subway making sandwiches who the hell is going to remember me? You can argue it still has its place but the fact is no one remembers Jane the fry cook.
Eh fuck, it doesn't matter anyways.

 

[Rebis]

My validation is worthless if I do nothing with my life.
What makes anyone's existence valid if it has no meaning? What proves my worth? Nothing. I was born, I will die. Such is life.

No ones existence had a purpose, therefore they are valid because there was never an attributable goal, other than the propegation of a species through producing progeny. In evolutionary terms that's validity.

No one famous chased legacy solely because they wanted to be remembered (there are a few but little in the grand scale). You must not pursue happiness, it must ensue. Chasing legacies won't get you anywhere, your goals have to be your own.

watch this video in its entirety:

 

[Rebis]

This whole complex is bullshit and won't get you anywhere towards your goals.

 

[Forensic1999]

Goals, what goals?
Oh yeah, don't have any, almost deluded myself into believing that I did.

 

[Rebis]

Your aiming for a strawman, fighting against a strawman and you are infact a strawman. It's best you try to solidify yourself, I solidified myself through a ball of pressure which was mostly external followed by an ultimatum. I'm unsure if you can voluntarily do the same, but you must try. For some a life and death situation is the only thing that puts life into perspective.

 

[Forensic1999]

Hmm, i'll take that into consideration.

 

[Marbles]

I saw you were called narcissistic in the other thread, Rebis. You appear to have stable self esteem, so I'm not sure if it got to you at all. I considered butting in to show my support, but I had only skimmed the thread, and did not know what interactions you'd had with your accusators earlier. Still, I'd like to say that I've seen nothing in your posts indicating narcissism or malevolence. You show tough love, sometimes, and it seems to be working. As a simple spectator in this thread, I have a sense of being seen, relating to both you and Forensic. I really appreciate your presence in this forum.

And you missed celebrating post 666. For shame!

 

[peoplesuck]

at some point you decided knowledge is the most valuable trait, and you devalued everything else. Maybe if you figured out when and why you did that you can healthy. I was kind of like that when I was younger, because I didnt fit in, the other people seemed stupid and self destructive, I did not understand them so I saw them as being morons, which I then used to fuel my learning, not wanting to be another moron. If you can relate, the thing that changed this for me was finding someone I empathized with, someone intelligent but caring. You may have a stigma around socializing or maybe anything that isnt learning, consider it may be your desire to not be like them, not a desire for intelligence.

 

[peoplesuck]

I saw you were called narcissistic in the other thread, Rebis. You appear to have stable self esteem, so I'm not sure if it got to you at all. I considered butting in to show my support, but I had only skimmed the thread, and did not know what interactions you'd had with your accusators earlier. Still, I'd like to say that I've seen nothing in your posts indicating narcissism or malevolence. You show tough love, sometimes, and it seems to be working. As a simple spectator in this thread, I have a sense of being seen, relating to both you and Forensic. I really appreciate your presence in this forum.

And you missed celebrating post 666. For shame!

I called him a narcissist. I was having a bad day and skimmed a thread and saw him talking about popularity and climbing the social ladder for a girl. I dont think he actually is a narcissist.

 

[Marbles]

I know you two are square Some other people joined in, I think.

 

[Forensic1999]

Something missing about me though, that always gets to my core.

 

[Marbles]

I relate, Forensic. At least people on this forum seem to have a vantage point of our part of the woods. Perhaps they can help us out.

 

[peoplesuck]

I know you two are square Some other people joined in, I think.

oh.
Yes I would totally have adopted kids with rebis now.

 

[Marbles]

We're all one loving family here xD Let's adopt a child from each continent. We can start collecting them.

 

[Forensic1999]

Yikes.

 

[Rebis]

I saw you were called narcissistic in the other thread, Rebis. You appear to have stable self esteem, so I'm not sure if it got to you at all. I considered butting in to show my support, but I had only skimmed the thread, and did not know what interactions you'd had with your accusators earlier. Still, I'd like to say that I've seen nothing in your posts indicating narcissism or malevolence. You show tough love, sometimes, and it seems to be working. As a simple spectator in this thread, I have a sense of being seen, relating to both you and Forensic. I really appreciate your presence in this forum.

And you missed celebrating post 666. For shame!

This seems fitting for the busy day I had, I'm gonna relax and jam to this for 5.

Ah damn, what next number will be significant, 911 perhaps? Oh god, what have I done.

 

[peoplesuck]

We're all one loving family here xD Let's adopt a child from each continent. We can start collecting them.

community parenting, that's a thing somewhere.

On a serious note I think I just figured out why I was so hell bent on learning when I was younger. the amount of epiphanys is way too damn high

 

[Marbles]

I know, man... You won't be able to sleep tonight.

 

[Rebis]

If you can relate, the thing that changed this for me was finding someone I empathized with, someone intelligent but caring.

This. You've opened your mind to others @Forensic1999 , maybe it's time you open up your heart and see past the mind.

 

[Marbles]

We're all one loving family here xD Let's adopt a child from each continent. We can start collecting them.

community parenting, that's a thing somewhere.

On a serious note I think I just figured out why I was so hell bent on learning when I was younger. the amount of epiphanys is way too damn high

Yeah, I've been sitting pondering the same. I grew up in a very chaotic household, with daily, intense quarreling and sometimes violence. I think knowledge was a way to supply order, and competence made me feel safe. No emo.

 

[Rebis]

oh.
Yes I would totally have adopted kids with rebis now.

Sims city intensifies

 

[Forensic1999]

Fuck, I an't opening my heart to anyone. Tried that too many times.

 

[peoplesuck]

oh.
Yes I would totally have adopted kids with rebis now.

Sims city intensifies

wow a sims reference, and here we thought you were straight. its ok it will work better this way.

Buddha-any straight man is 5 birth control pills away from being bi.

 

[peoplesuck]

Fuck, I an't opening my heart to anyone. Tried that too many times.

It wont work if you go into it thinking they are trash and being a dick. Find someone whom is smart enough you can respect, but kind enough that you can learn from. ( if you are young try not to do this with a woman twice your age it doesnt work well)

 

[Forensic1999]

Yeah, super defensive
and skeptical of everyone, don't even trust myself.

 

[peoplesuck]

Yeah, super defensive
and skeptical of everyone, don't even trust myself.

there's a huge list of mental health problems that cause...problems. maybe try seeing a therapist, research your symptoms. If you are like i was you probably wont care to fix yourself once you find out what it is, you will deem yourself superior. life is complicated and dont let anyone tell you it isn't. if you dont mind me asking how old are you?

 

[Forensic1999]

22.

 

[Forensic1999]

I know, young and inexperienced. Still, feel like i'm 45 mentally. Which could be positive or negative, depending.

 

[peoplesuck]

If you are depressed or upset about your position you may feel better knowing that You are what I was heading for. we are the same age, if not for one very inappropriate student-teacher relationship I would most likely be you. It crushed my heart, ruined my life for months, and made me suicidal for weeks. It took months for me to be ok, and its been years, i'm probably just now over it. You could have become me, I could have become you. you have a chance to make a much more gradual transition that wont damage you. I sense we are very similar, so don't be afraid to share.

 

[Marbles]

@Rebis On that girl, I dunno... You seem much better at this social maneuvering than I am. If I'm to presume to give advice, I'd say spend some time considering a goal before you spend a lot of time pursuing it. I have a feeling this thing is more about the journey than the goal for you, though... indulging in experiences, Oscar Wilde style (or was that just Dorian Gray? I can't recall)? Go for it, man.

You should probably hold off on moving to a mountaintop, but if you're free a weekend, perhaps we should barricade our doors and all do a drunken vigil on here, like @Tenacity once suggested.

 

[Rebis]

@Rebis On that girl, I dunno... You seem much better at this social maneuvering than I am. If I'm to presume to give advice, I'd say spend some time considering a goal before you spend a lot of time pursuing it. I have a feeling this thing is more about the journey than the goal for you, though... indulging in experiences, Oscar Wilde style (or was that just Dorian Gray? I can't recall)? Go for it, man.

You should probably hold off on moving to a mountaintop, but if you're free a weekend, perhaps we should barricade our doors and all do a drunken vigil on here, like @Tenacity once suggested.

I'd be down for that.

I see you're picking up on my mental imagery tapping into my mind, soon I'll be seeing you in the corridors! Mind you, I'd stay away from the big red button located beyond the dense, charcoaled black door. The Girl situation is cool, it reset on monday there, the people were back in their seats and I've been super productive the last few days (though it may not seem given my activity).

 

[Marbles]

You've been super productive in addition to posting like 500 comments, here? Wow, I wish I had your energy. It's all in the eggs, right?

 

[Rebis]

You've been super productive in addition to posting like 500 comments, here? Wow, I wish I had your energy. It's all in the eggs, right?

Eggs for sure, get free range for more Vitamin D2, choline and beta-carotone (Converts to vitamin A for that sweet, sweet eyesight).

 

[Marbles]

Probably good in the beta carotene department, I practically live off carrots. I think I'm turning a little orange - it's not funny, cause it's true. Still gonna get free range, though, cause those chicken farms give me nightmares.

 

[Rebis]

Choline is probably the most valuable nutrient in eggs, that stuff is important but it's not in much foods at all. Reminds me I should probably keep in mind to get a stack of Alpha GPC in the next few weeks.

 

[Forensic1999]

If you are depressed or upset about your position you may feel better knowing that You are what I was heading for. we are the same age, if not for one very inappropriate student-teacher relationship I would most likely be you. It crushed my heart, ruined my life for months, and made me suicidal for weeks. It took months for me to be ok, and its been years, i'm probably just now over it. You could have become me, I could have become you. you have a chance to make a much more gradual transition that wont damage you. I sense we are very similar, so don't be afraid to share.

Since when are people relatable on an INTP forum? I'm already damaged apples anyways. I don't share things on here much because of past experiences that make me believe everyone is just a self-absorbed asshole, some just are better at hiding it.

 

[Forensic1999]

If you can relate, the thing that changed this for me was finding someone I empathized with, someone intelligent but caring.

This. You've opened your mind to others @Forensic1999 , maybe it's time you open up your heart and see past the mind.

Opened my mind? You haven't seen the half of it, and you wouldn't want to.

 

[EndogenousRebel]

I like a challenge. It gives your argumentation the ability to evolve, and if not that succumb to survival of the fittest, so that you can dispense with the idea.

Everyone perceives themselves a victim or persecuted, it's apart of the narrative we construct over our life. We all conquer some form of adversity. Don't let your story turn into one of bitterness or resentment, not so soon into life. You'll never forgive yourself for it. I'm barely going to turn 22 myself and have been met with plenty of times where I've felt wronged, alone, and dealt an unfair hand in life. I've experienced apathetic numbness and intense emotional grief. How am I going to have the emotional and mental will power to help others if I can barely help myself?

I don't know man it's a hard thing to help with if we don't know the deal. Take this quiz. It basically measures how shitty your childhood was. If you score 4 or higher statistically you are prey to lower life expectancy and worse health outcomes. You don't have to share. Igot a solid 7 and in front of a psychologist 8, don't know what changed. Regardless you just need good support systems, and if you're adverse to making and friends that's a big red flag, and you need to take steps to at least finding the good people that will actually care about you. Remember that there's nothing wrong with you, it's about your past man.

 

[Forensic1999]

I'll never forgive myself for actions I made in the past.
Quite fitting really. Self-hate to put it in light terms. I.E feeling the need to punish myself endlessly. Pretty sure my life expectancy won't be that high due to many factors. Oh well, I despise living anyways.

 

[Forensic1999]

My validation is worthless if I do nothing with my life.
What makes anyone's existence valid if it has no meaning? What proves my worth? Nothing. I was born, I will die. Such is life.

No ones existence had a purpose, therefore they are valid because there was never an attributable goal, other than the propegation of a species through producing progeny. In evolutionary terms that's validity.

No one famous chased legacy solely because they wanted to be remembered (there are a few but little in the grand scale). You must not pursue happiness, it must ensue. Chasing legacies won't get you anywhere, your goals have to be your own.

watch this video in its entirety:

I've failed at most everything I've tried. So if you want to assume I'm arrogant go right ahead.
Humans are prone to fail. We are weak and fallible.
But dont assume my online persona as the basis for my entire being.

 

[peoplesuck]

I like to be challenged, but more so I like to challenge. Nobody ever really tries to challenge me irl, besides my shitty high school teachers.

 

[Kormak]

I'm mentally challenged, yes.

 

[Rebis]

I challenged a tree once, it barked and I ran away.