Do you do this?

[intpz]

Do you get derailed during boring conversations?

When somebody's talking boring or half-interesting shit, do you think about other things, and sometimes laugh or smile to conserve laughter from what they do with their hands while talking or what you think about? Do you think about something and also hear what they are talking about? Or is that just me.

Just for example: a dude comes in, he talks with 1-2 second pauses between every 2-5 words and is looking around for spider webs, when he sees one, he takes it with his fingers, rolls it up and throws it gently.

Hm, couldn't change the title...

 

[NinjaSurfer]

I think your thread title would be better if you utilized descriptive words hinting what the subject matter would be rather than to use it as bait; I am Mr. Curious so I will always take the bait, but I imagine other INTPs might be perturbed at getting baited into a thread they have no interest in responding to.

 

[Moocow]

 

[noksve]

I sometimes get derailed when people talk to me and start thinking about things unrelated. I do not laugh about what they do because when this happens I turn more inwards than outwards, but sometimes I laugh or smile because I remember funny things that happened to me recently. For example during the last couple of weeks at random times I would remember this picture and lose it. It cracks me up.

Sometimes when I start laughing or smiling out of nowhere people talking to me would notice and ask "why are you laughing?" "what's going on?" and usually then is when I "come back to earth" in a way.

Or other times I would grimace or make sad faces involuntarily because I remember sad or disgusting things, like how I miss my cat or how I sometimes get mad at my parents.

And most usually I just don't say anything and nod absent-mindedly at the things I'm being talked about without really understanding what the dick. Somewhat like how I felt in adv. math class back then.

 

[intpz]

I can relate to that. I don't usually laugh too, but if for example a 50-year-old man is looking for spider webs to play with them and throw them away while talking to me with huge pauses, well, I find that quite funny.

I don't make angry or sad faces though, usually I try to entertain myself, or think of things "yea, so I'm gonna need to make what if statements, titles and descriptions to make it work the way I want it to work..." I never quite lose what he/she was saying though, and I do nod as well. Luckily people don't usually ask me what's up, I shouldn't say that they are boring as fuck, should I.

I think the only times when I got so much derailed was during some specific classes, probably my language class. And maths class. And some other classes. At the end of the high-school though, 11th/12th grades. Maybe 10th grade too, not sure.

 

[mu is mu]

Lol. Although I can't completely identify with the situation you've described, I do often become introspective and absentminded whenever Sensors constantly talk to me about things that INTPs typically have no interest in thinking (much less speaking) about. Sometimes I even become so detached that I literally don't hear what they say and try to compensate for this by analyzing the parts of the conversation I heard before and after the detachment occurred and subsequently inferring what I didn't hear--usually this works.

Frankly, I usually find my thoughts much more interesting than their typical conversation topics, and I also know from experience that they usually find their typical conversation topics much more interesting than the things I think of. So it's little surprise that I occasionally zone out from their interpersonal communication to return to my intrapersonal communication, which the person talking to me interrupted by starting a conversation with me in the first place.

But lol, now that I read this again, this all sounds somewhat arrogant and antisocial, but I'm just being honest. Sometimes I wish people would simply respect my silence and allow me to think without interruption.

 

[intpz]

Indeed, I often analyze parts of their conversation too. Often correcting their words, mostly using other words that are more fit for the sentence they've formed, or using the correct form of the word, etc.. Much more interesting than actually listening to them.

Sometimes I wish people wouldn't be boring fucks, in that case, I wouldn't mind listening to them and the respect of your silence that you've mentioned wouldn't be needed in the first place.

 

[RedN]

i once approached this very shy girl at a club coz she seemed really down, she just stands out..... she was actually stuttering or lisping? i mean how long it took for her to say 'im fine' was like almost a minute... but i gave her my full attention, and eventually she loosened up and we're cool with each other now, she talks like normal with me. i think if i didnt do that, she wouldve felt differently... i remember one time we were in the dance floor and she just suddenly gave me a hug then i asked why, she said i just looked like i needed it. sometimes just listening to people even if its not really wow... it leads good things sometimes

but thats a given isnt it... how would we feel anyway if it was us.

one might think youre talking of something really intelligent and interesting and world bending ideas but the one listening might also think its stupid nonsense right? to you it may not be... but

thats where i position myself i guess, i just give people their space to say what they have to say

 

[intpz]

Apparently most INTPs do, due to the P-ness. I do under certain circumstances (INTJ part comes in, I assume?), otherwise, I'm find with being called an asshole. And besides - I do know that talking to S types about theories is boring as fuck to them, so I know that in some (or most? ) conversations I'd be boring. I'm okay with them not wanting to hear me out, I do understand that it's not their thing and therefore, it is boring to them. I either wouldn't talk to them, or choose a different topic that is interesting to both of us.

In your case, however, I would be interested to see what's up with her - and since I would be asking questions, I might lean the conversation to the interesting direction. Though I doubt I'd approach her, I don't do things like that. On the other hand, I've never been in a club.

 

[RedN]

well just talking about theories and limiting it there may be boring to me, but hearing about theories can still breed potential applications for them that can be useful to us so... its still worth it i think to hear it out.

unless we're talking about theories about some star in space em.......... but still id hear it out... a person may be talking about stars but you can still see and learn a lot about 'them' just by talking to them so... still... if youre so crazy about stars i can send you a star themed thing for your birthday eh

intpz, you should give it a try sometimes. youll never know if a good thing can come out of it you know.

 

[mu is mu]

Indeed, I often analyze parts of their conversation too. Often correcting their words, mostly using other words that are more fit for the sentence they've formed, or using the correct form of the word, etc.. Much more interesting than actually listening to them.

That's hilarious. I also do that on a regular basis, maybe even involuntarily.

Sometimes I wish people wouldn't be boring fucks, in that case, I wouldn't mind listening to them and the respect of your silence that you've mentioned wouldn't be needed in the first place.

Interestingly enough I've actually noticed this. On the rare occasions in which I do encounter a conversation topic that interests me, I no longer wish to remain silent and don't consider the other person's initiating interpersonal communication to be an interruption.

...And once again re-reading your comments and mine initially caused me to perceive myself as arrogant and antisocial.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Yeah, I have a tendency to think about other things when people talk to me, especially if they're talking for more than 5 minutes. I don't laugh at their hands though, sometimes I laugh at something I'm thinking about and then they look at me disapprovingly and ask if I'm listening. I usually get the gist of what they're saying, but miss details.

 

[intpz]

@mu is mu you're an INTP, you must be arrogant and antisocial.

well just talking about theories and limiting it there may be boring to me, but hearing about theories can still breed potential applications for them that can be useful to us so... its still worth it i think to hear it out.

unless we're talking about theories about some star in space em.......... but still id hear it out... a person may be talking about stars but you can still see and learn a lot about 'them' just by talking to them so... still... if youre so crazy about stars i can send you a star themed thing for your birthday eh

intpz, you should give it a try sometimes. youll never know if a good thing can come out of it you know.

Well to me theories are quite interesting, when listening to them, I can question the guy and ask for details, which is always fun. Especially when I'm right, which, in most cases I am. Whether to logical reasoning or more knowledge on the subject. You can't do that with experience, most people don't like getting their actions questions, however stupid they might be:

"Yesterday I've mixed sugar and salt and drank a whole glass of this mix! It tasted real bad, but I still drank it! And afterwards I watched a disgusting video which made me throw up, but I still kept watching it!"
"Were you drunk or high?" (let's not go to the conclusion that he's a total idiot, let's stay positive!)
"No, why?"
"Because you acted worse than a dude who escaped out of a mental institution. You know, one of those guys who think they are supermen, they jump off the roofs thinking they can fly..."
*something real angry implying that I shouldn't question his actions*

Yeah, I have a tendency to think about other things when people talk to me, especially if they're talking for more than 5 minutes. I don't laugh at their hands though, sometimes I laugh at something I'm thinking about and then they look at me disapprovingly and ask if I'm listening. I usually get the gist of what they're saying, but miss details.

Depends, if I'm distracted, I miss the details as well. Though mostly I try to be a few steps ahead, so I tend to both keep the details noticed and entertain myself, as well as keep thoughts that make me laugh away, though sometimes the train of thought is speeding a bit too much.

 

[RedN]

Assuming the story is true. Wouldn't you say, your superior logic and experience fell a bit short in understanding the motivations of the man and you merely ended up with fallback answer.

Like in the example of a man jumping off roofs, to you you think he's playing superman and he's crazy but... ever heard of parkour?

A human who has literally nothing but logic is no different from a computer. Interesting enough, they are the most predictable. You may operate fast and consistent, but you become so limited to what was programmed in you.

One possibility for the man drinking the salt and sugar mixture is to test its effects, what rush you can get from it or to know first hard what its like before he makes someone drink it. Another, its another story to tell. Another, he was just curious... plain and simple. Another is its a base for a drink mixture that he's working on. Theres so many possibilities that its just ... silly to just dismiss it as just that. This person being retarded is just one possibility among many.

You see... thinking in a very limited way of is it logical or not is it reasonable or not is just...

well whatever hahahaha

this conversation im having with you. we're just talking about nonsense but it tells so much about you as a person. these so much information you can get out of a person just by them talking... whatever it is.

 

[Ergo eye m.]

I find myself disengaged frequently, especially when surface/material aspects are found present. I like to refer to these as weather conversations. I don't completely ignore though, and I don't believe I'm quick to condescend (the ego always casts its shadow).
I used to be, but of course not intentionally. Each day passed exists growth to be had for everyone after all.
What ends up occurring during this detachment are observations of tones of voice, and facial expressions. Darting of the eyes and various elevations help to keep my indifference in check so as not to offend the individual sharing the moment. I can keep awareness of how passionate or whatever thing they seem to feel about the subject without much effort, and then oblige to a social response accordingly. This method of approach doesn't always work for those who I've allowed to get close.
Familiarity breeds such a strange mix of comfort and discomfort. I'm not sure I'll ever quite know what to think about it. This is quickly a tangent; maybe more elaborate for another time.
With all that said, Hello everyone, I'm glad I found this site.

 

[intpz]

Assuming the story is true. Wouldn't you say, your superior logic and experience fell a bit short in understanding the motivations of the man and you merely ended up with fallback answer.

Like in the example of a man jumping off roofs, to you you think he's playing superman and he's crazy but... ever heard of parkour?

A human who has literally nothing but logic is no different from a computer. Interesting enough, they are the most predictable. You may operate fast and consistent, but you become so limited to what was programmed in you.

One possibility for the man drinking the salt and sugar mixture is to test its effects, what rush you can get from it or to know first hard what its like before he makes someone drink it. Another, its another story to tell. Another, he was just curious... plain and simple. Another is its a base for a drink mixture that he's working on. Theres so many possibilities that its just ... silly to just dismiss it as just that. This person being retarded is just one possibility among many.

You see... thinking in a very limited way of is it logical or not is it reasonable or not is just...

well whatever hahahaha

this conversation im having with you. we're just talking about nonsense but it tells so much about you as a person. these so much information you can get out of a person just by them talking... whatever it is.

Not true, just something I thought of at 5AM , but a nice example of real stories.

I spoke about people escaped from a mental institution, who really do think they are supermen, not parkour-guys.

Sure there are many possibilities, but the conclusion that we can draw from the most possible explanations is that he's an idiot. If not, by following your logic, we could say that someone who tasted his own shit after taking a shit is an okay dude - he was just curious how it tastes. It smelled like a hamburger that he had for lunch!

That's why I've mentioned about me turning around the conversation about stuff that a lot of people don't wanna talk about, then it can be interesting. Not always though.

I wouldn't say I'm limited in thinking, however I'm able to draw conclusions as such that tasting your own shit (or someone else's shit for that matter) is a bad idea, and the guy who's doing it is an idiot one way or another. Unless of course your way of saying that I'm close-minded is that I don't try everything before dismissing the possibility of trying it (shooting myself in the foot to see how it feels?) OR if it's of saying that you shouldn't judge others and every action can be rationalized; however the latter is somewhat correlated with the former.

I find myself disengaged frequently, especially when surface/material aspects are found present. I like to refer to these as weather conversations. I don't completely ignore though, and I don't believe I'm quick to condescend (the ego always casts its shadow).
I used to be, but of course not intentionally. Each day passed exists growth to be had for everyone after all.
What ends up occurring during this detachment are observations of tones of voice, and facial expressions. Darting of the eyes and various elevations help to keep my indifference in check so as not to offend the individual sharing the moment. I can keep awareness of how passionate or whatever thing they seem to feel about the subject without much effort, and then oblige to a social response accordingly. This method of approach doesn't always work for those who I've allowed to get close.
Familiarity breeds such a strange mix of comfort and discomfort. I'm not sure I'll ever quite know what to think about it. This is quickly a tangent; maybe more elaborate for another time.
With all that said, Hello everyone, I'm glad I found this site.

Welcome then. :smiley_emoticons_mr

 

[RedN]

I actually know of an INTJ who's actually really smart as hell and.... ok lets not go there................ ehm... ... . what was i thinking... -_-

Ok you win the superman, I missed the wordings

But wont you agree that sometimes stuff that people dont want to talk about are actually the stuff that are interesting to talk about.

I didnt say you are but there are those out there who really act like that. its I dont know, something I cant relate to I guess. Its very rare though, and Ive only met them online - figures.

The worst I've seen... worse than shooting yourself in the foot is... a woman who used a knife to cut off her c***. Its kinda interesting what would motivate a person to do such... hmmmmm

And refusal to try somethng doesnt equate to close-mindedness. I mean I never tried cocaine... I wont even if its free.

What im saying is, a lot of the things that people do sometimes seems so ridiculous has a not so ridiculous reason. It may sound ... mean but, our actions are always motivated by self benefit at its core... that usually the question is how it does. And how this person arrived at that conclusion.

you know all of a sudden this convo made me think of statham?'s movie chaos theory something. its when sometimes a lot of random seemingly pointless events eventually align in the end to achieve a very specific goal or something like that... cant remember, my memory is bad ok

sorry i just got here at work too hahahahah

 

[intpz]

I actually know of an INTJ who's actually really smart as hell and.... ok lets not go there................ ehm... ... . what was i thinking... -_-

Ok you win the superman, I missed the wordings

But wont you agree that sometimes stuff that people dont want to talk about are actually the stuff that are interesting to talk about.

I didnt say you are but there are those out there who really act like that. its I dont know, something I cant relate to I guess. Its very rare though, and Ive only met them online - figures.

The worst I've seen... worse than shooting yourself in the foot is... a woman who used a knife to cut off her c***. Its kinda interesting what would motivate a person to do such... hmmmmm

And refusal to try somethng doesnt equate to close-mindedness. I mean I never tried cocaine... I wont even if its free.

What im saying is, a lot of the things that people do sometimes seems so ridiculous has a not so ridiculous reason. It may sound ... mean but, our actions are always motivated by self benefit at its core... that usually the question is how it does. And how this person arrived at that conclusion.

you know all of a sudden this convo made me think of statham?'s movie chaos theory something. its when sometimes a lot of random seemingly pointless events eventually align in the end to achieve a very specific goal or something like that... cant remember, my memory is bad ok

sorry i just got here at work too hahahahah

That's what I said.

And some people arrive at the conclusion that they have to do something with an idiotic rationalization, hence my hamburger example.

Never heard of it.

 

[RedN]

Yeah, but as you said too not a lot want that... and its not safe to do sometimes...

i dont know they get really afraid of revealing how they feel towards these things. i guess coz theyd be judged or soemthing.

its hard with introverts especially... but i dont know. they usually tell me stuff though hmmm

i feel like vomitting right now....... and im like feeling reallllly cold....

 

[GeneralPatton]

Tends to be with me most of my wifes friends talk about boring and worthless shit constantly, and most of the time I merely nod when someone asks me something. If they continue to harp at me wanting my input, on something of little or no value to me, then I simply derail the whole conversation with something so beyond their capacity for understanding that the conversation changes simply to avoid those awkward silences that social people so dislike.

 

[intpz]

Tends to be with me most of my wifes friends talk about boring and worthless shit constantly, and most of the time I merely nod when someone asks me something. If they continue to harp at me wanting my input, on something of little or no value to me, then I simply derail the whole conversation with something so beyond their capacity for understanding that the conversation changes simply to avoid those awkward silences that social people so dislike.

Now that's a great tactic. I might use this one in situations similar like you've mentioned.

 

[GeneralPatton]

Now that's a great tactic. I might use this one in situations similar like you've mentioned.

It works quite well. My wife gets annoyed that I don't enjoy sitting in a garage with a bunch of socialites who talk about the same recycled shit for days or weeks on end, never even realizing that it wasn't worth speaking about to begin with. Its like a diarreha of the mouth they all have. After a few derailments, most learn to avoid you when you obviously have no inclination to join the mindless dribble. There are however, the select couple who think they can change you and always try over and over much to my disdain. After a while, I just stopped attending.