Do you assume good or bad in people?

[meanbluepanda]

First off I am sorry for the ma of new threads recently.

So what am trying to ask here is if you assume people have good or bad intentions. Let's say someone did something that affected you negatively(don't mistake this for only negatives, am wondering about peoples actions) do you assume good intentions or even ignorance and that something happened to what they were doing. Or do you assume that they affected you negatively on purpose for their own reasons and benefit. I find that my mother and sister assume the worst in people, while I assume good.

Now what this topic is really about is that I do something really strange, whenever my mother or sister assume that a person did something bad intentionally. I find myself defending that person like I knew what they were doing, and justifying their actions. I get this feeling of frustration and anger(mostly frustration) when they assume the worst in people. I want to know why I do this, it's not like I think people are good and trying to defend this belief.

PS: sorry if I didn't explain myself well I will try and further explain any questions, as for the negative vibe it's because I am thinking of an example but it would take too long to explain it.

 

[own8ge]

Now what this topic is really about is that I do something really strange, whenever my mother or sister assume that a person did something bad intentionally. I find myself defending that person like I knew what they were doing, and justifying their actions. I get this feeling of frustration and anger(mostly frustration) when they assume the worst in people. I want to know why I do this, it's not like I think people are good and trying to defend this belief.

That is the Jungian function Fe. (The function Ti is the analyser of Fe.)

 

[lightlazer]

Meanbluepanda, IMO the thing is not that we assume bad or good intentions beforehand, we simply tend to play devil's advocate in most discussions. Do you agree?

 

[meanbluepanda]

Meanbluepanda, IMO the thing is not that we assume bad or good intentions beforehand, we simply tend to play devil's advocate in most discussions. Do you agree?

who is "we" and I am 99% sure that in my case they genuinely believe this and not simply playing devils advocate

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

who is "we" and I am 99% sure that in my case they genuinely believe this and not simply playing devils advocate

"Playing devil's advocate" refers to the defensive action you described in the OT.

I assume the worst in people, then over time, if they have proven to be reliable and well-intentioned, i can let my guards down, slowly.
But i also play this devil's advocate game in my head,
often going against my initial instinctive assessment.
In most cases this had been a bad deal for me,
so i default to assuming the worst nowadays.

 

[lightlazer]

who is "we" and I am 99% sure that in my case they genuinely believe this and not simply playing devils advocate

We? Myself and my little friend in my head that whispers to me to kill everybody... just kidding, I was referring to us, we INTP personalities.

After some thought I really can't tell if I assume good or bad intentions, but I may tend to assume ignorance or bad intentions more often than good intentions.

 

[Missfortune]

i just think i dont understand whats going on and try to figure it out. not sure why but i try to make no judgment in terms of good or bad... but i always find myself slowig down and attempting not to do so. the way i think is given the circumstance, what makes sense, but usually there are a ton of factors and it takes me a while to get things straight. maybe i think i wont understand or will miss some key factor if i make the starting assumption of good or bad. however, thats not necessarily true.

 

[Cavallier]

I don't assume either. I tend to wait it out. I must have some sort of guiding prejudices or biases that pitch my opinions of people. All humans have those built into them to a greater or lesser degree. Though I try to wipe mine away when I stumble across them.

 

[The Gopher]

In general, overall; I assume bad. However when it comes down to individuals I don't assume or assume good (but don't act on it) if I met them through good.

 

[Hadoblado]

I generally assume that people have an idea of themselves as a good person, but that they fall short of that idea in ways they often don't realise. Essentially, I treat them as if they mean well, but take everything with a scoop of salt.

 

[Ellenora]

Without information good or bad in a person's intentions is hard to determine. Although that seems reasonable I tend to assume there are reasons behind the person's actions which are for their own best self-interest. That assumption I find is often wrong.

 

[Pyropyro]

I usually wait for more data to come by (talking with other people about their experiences with said person, studying documented info regarding said person etc.) before determining if a person has good or bad intentions.

I usually invoke Hanlon's Razor though. Less stress on my part.

 

[Jennywocky]

My general view on things is that very few people seem "evil" in the sense of wanting to purposefully hurt others just to hurt them; usually a lot of the hurting occurs because people view things in their own particular way and don't realize there are other valid ways to view a situation. So they end up misjudging the intentions of others and/or try to force others to do things their way, or even hurt others because they view the others as "evil" without realizing they're actually the ones perpetuating violence.

In general, though, it doesn't seem useful to box people; I just try to perceive what's going on, and I keep updating the mental database. I am not sure what point it serves to try to summarize the world as good or bad. There are just people who do things, and you want to react in ways that seem the most perceptive/accurate of what is going on and that achieve the results you want.

 

[redbaron]

Good.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

It depends on intuition, circumstances, perceived goals of interaction and first and later impressions/data.

Mostly based on that I tend to assume good intentions and bad outcomes, being trapped in another situation is the most common example of this.

 

[Red myst]

First off I am sorry for the ma of new threads recently.

So what am trying to ask here is if you assume people have good or bad intentions. Let's say someone did something that affected you negatively(don't mistake this for only negatives, am wondering about peoples actions) do you assume good intentions or even ignorance and that something happened to what they were doing. Or do you assume that they affected you negatively on purpose for their own reasons and benefit. I find that my mother and sister assume the worst in people, while I assume good.

I am cautious with everyone. I recognize there there is a degree of self interest in everything an individual does. I also recognize some people do not even understand their own patterns and motivations of behaving. I do give people the benefit of the doubt, trying to remain objective about things. I tend to give everyone a little rope to work with and see if they hang them selves or not.

Now what this topic is really about is that I do something really strange, whenever my mother or sister assume that a person did something bad intentionally. I find myself defending that person like I knew what they were doing, and justifying their actions. I get this feeling of frustration and anger(mostly frustration) when they assume the worst in people. I want to know why I do this, it's not like I think people are good and trying to defend this belief.

PS: sorry if I didn't explain myself well I will try and further explain any questions, as for the negative vibe it's because I am thinking of an example but it would take too long to explain it.

I do the same thing, I get frustrated with people I know who automatically make assumptions either way good or bad. I am frustrated with the lack of objectivity.
If you are biased into assuming the good in people, It could be your Fe. And your mother and sister are working off of Fi. which is less trusting of Fe motivations.

 

[Trebuchet]

I assume people are good, though like Red Myst I don't trust easily. I just assume that they have their own narrative or circumstances or background that makes their actions make sense, and that disagreeing with me isn't automatically bad.

Thus I am often disappointed. But I have experienced cynicism, really serious cynicism, after some painful episodes, and I like myself better when I fight it. Thinking people are basically good makes me a better and happier person, so it is worth it.

 

[Polaris]

I don't have a default-setting for this. It really depends. I don't think about it consciously, but I think I am quite open until someone deliberately tries to set me off balance. Then it's hard for me to trust them afterwards. I forgive people, but I don't trust them.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

I am cautious with everyone. I recognize there there is a degree of self interest in everything an individual does. I also recognize some people do not even understand their own patterns and motivations of behaving. I do give people the benefit of the doubt, trying to remain objective about things. I tend to give everyone a little rope to work with and see if they hang them selves or not.

Sums it up nicely. I assume people are good going into getting to know them but with a good amount of caution. And the comment about some not understanding their motivations-the sad truth but all the more reason to use caution.

 

[AquaTron]

I am always very cautious when meeting someone new, or in close proximity to strangers. My intuition will pick up on small details, which determines wether I assume good or bad in that person. Until they are gone, or have proved to me they can be trusted, I am on guard.

My thinking also processes every action as well as body language and spoken words to determine motive and underlying patterns.

 

[EditorOne]

This is a real minefield for us. I'm looking at all the comments and it's clear we're hampered by clear thinking: Several commenters observed that their assumptions about motive are suspect because they realized people often act against their own best interests. I see that a lot in politics, where, I've figured out, people often act out of emotion rather than rationality. When people are motivated by emotion, we (speaking as a severely INTP INTP) tend to be at a disadvantage, as we often don't get that even when we do it ourselves.

I used to think most people would generally do good and the ones who wouldn't were known to me. That worked in school: tons of knowledge (small school) built over years (I spent 13 years with a core group of perhaps 30 kids). That worked in the volunteer fire department (built around "put out the fire, quickly." It worked at work so long as most of my colleagues were of long standing. It did not work when I started reluctantly going up the ladder, only to discover that the higher rungs inexplicably (to me) put a bullseye on my back, which started to accumulate knives.

My adjusted paradigm was to warily assume each person was "good" until I had reason to think otherwise, then deal with it. Professionally (journalist) I of course had to check out all information people gave me before reporting it. Looking for the motive in those cases became second nature and, note this, just because someone had an agenda in providing information or tips didn't mean it was bad information.

 

[Beowulf]

I'm always cautious with strangers and not very trust worthy so i always tend to assume bad. However once i start to know them and what they are about i then reevaluate as needed. But i find it very hard to just assume the good in people. Maybe that's why i don't make friends easily ......ehhhh o well

 

[WALKYRIA]

It depends from context but being some kind of a misanthorpe myself.. Well I have a hard time believing people( even the I*FPs) have good motives.

 

[nerd866]

I find I'm relatively cautious with strangers as well, especially if they want or need any kind of help.

I am almost never the person to offer a stranger help (and also not the kind of person who does volunteer work).

This is because I tend to believe that, given all the people in society, I am relatively poor at determining others' needs. There are extraverts and feelers out there who are likely more capable of such things. I also don't have very many strong technical skills. There aren't that many tasks I could, realistically, competently help a stranger accomplish.

To me it's simple "best person for the job" logic combined with the fact that unwanted social interaction is not pleasant for me. There are people who love helping others for the inherent pleasure that comes from it. I am not one of those people. I help those I care about because I care about them. Being human doesn't make me care about you. There are 7 billion of us. We can do without one being happy right now.

Besides, who knows what could happen if I help this person? That may want to *hang out* or something someday! *GASP!*

In reality, it's a combination of the fact that I know my motives are good, but I don't know their motives. I know if I help myself, good will come of it. If I help someone else, I don't know what will come of it.

I also won't likely see any of the results of my efforts. I like my work to make a noticeable impact. Once said stranger goes on their merry way, 3 things could happen:

1) I will never see them again and never know what impact I made. Not enough motivation for me to care.

2) They will want to befriend me and add more social pressure to my life. I'm not likely interested, as my circle of friends is already larger than I can keep up with and I have no interest in pursuing relationships (in one already) or work networking (not my thing, especially not right now).

3) They're malicious and will take advantage of me if I offer my help, or pester me long-term.

None of these are appealing, so I just stay out of the whole thing. My life is alright. Why mess with a good thing by adding who-knows-who to it?

 

[Evolutionmine16]

Generally, I assume bad in people. But that, of course, can be easily changed if a particular person shows good intentions. I have found this tactic works the best for me.

 

[StevenM]

I think the idea that 'every action and decision from everybody is completely self-absorbed' is irrational. Especially when the topic is human attributes, it may not be wise to overgeneralize and create a false dichotomy fallacy. Realistically, there may be multiple categories of options.

With that being said, I think the same is true about "good" people and "bad" people. Especially where the terms good and bad can be highly subjective anyways, according to certain experiences, and events.

I tend to see both good decisions and bad decisions in most people. Another way to look at it: wise choices and unwise choices. Hurtful behaviors, aiding behaviors, and neutral behaviors. And of course at varying degrees at certain times.

I think it's safe to say that mostly everyone has struggles, and times of ease. We have needs. We have our unique motivations and ambitions. We all have made mistakes and have been hurtful, even the most best-intentional of us.

With most people, I tend to still see a child inside, still struggling to adapt to the changing world, and to our changing bodies and minds. A child that is still finding our place amongst our peers, and struggling to define ourselves when our environment changes. A child who lacks some awareness of their actions and the effects that they cause.

I actually have tons more to say about the topic, even some contradictory values, but I'm just going to leave it at that for now.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

It depends on if the person is just a passerby, otherwise I'll wait for more information if I'll see them again.

You can't get too caught up in the occasional "bump into the shoulder" or "stepping on someones toes", it happens. And even if there was intent, the event is too insignificant to worry about anyway. But someone I see on a day to day basis, there should be more concern for how you treat people as this implies respect for our circumstances. You can infer a person's attitude by comparing their reactions to you to other people / other situations, which I what I do before I judge another. You can also observe them in different contexts to determine their behavior, personality, morals etc.


Aside from your example where someone initially does something negative, assuming that people have bad intentions before anything negative has happened will undoubtedly have an effect on your subconscious attitude and reactions toward them. This can make the other person negative or ambivalent towards you in return.

 

[ana]

i assume good.
i dont like to look at people as bad
although i dont feel that im bad, although i know i can be creul for sport.
so perhaps i just refuse to see myself as bad?

 

[RandomGeneratedName]

I'm at the point now, that I accept everyone as human, and that they will screw up one day, one way, and probably several other. I don't see good or bad. I don't prejudge, (and *the bird* to whomever turned judgemental into a negative assossication when it's not).

I take people "as is".