Do we intimidate extroverts?

[TylerTennessee]

I always see other people just randomly walking up to other people and starting awesome conversations
This RARELY happens to me. Which makes me think I'm ugly haha. But I rarely ever walk up to someone and randomly engage in conversation because I find their extrovertness or personality or demeanor intimidating (I think this is why) so my question is does the common blank face, no emotion, absent expression and demeanor intimidate more extroverted personality types?

 

[dark+matters]

I just wanted to point out that it would be impossible for an INTP to be "ugly." Carry on.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Attractiveness is based on facial symmetry. You've got that going pretty well. Nothing really intimidating about your physical appearance than I can denote. I mean... hair isn't exactly symmetrical, but it's fucking hair, yaknow?

I suspect a few things:

1. Some guys are intimidated by hot women. I'd imagine it works in reverse too.

2. Cultural differences. Middle Appalachia differs greatly from LA. This even includes mannerisms and body language. People simply may not recognize cues you're putting off that are seen as perfectly valid elsewhere.

3. People tend to be reactive only on a personal level, I think. The bystander effect... If they don't know you or have a reason to talk to you, they won't. They probably won't even dial 911 if you keel over from a heart attack.

4. You may be right about facial expression. Maybe a dose of healthy narcissism substantial enough to put you in front of a mirror, practicing facial expressions and talking to yourself is in order.

 

[computerhxr]

does the common blank face, no emotion, absent expression and demeanor intimidate more extroverted personality types?

Extraversion is an external feedback loop. Introversion is an internal feedback loop.

Extroverts learn from external experience. They need a reaction from people and are attracted to people who are more reactive. They can't learn anything from a blank face.

So a blank face would be intimidating to an Extrovert. Extroverts gain energy from feedback so you would not attract them because they gain nothing from the "blank face" experience.

 

[TylerTennessee]

4. You may be right about facial expression. Maybe a dose of healthy narcissism substantial enough to put you in front of a mirror, practicing facial expressions and talking to yourself is in order.[/QUOTE]
This sounds terrifying tbh.
Thank you ALL for the input

 

[Yellow]

Maybe you don't intimidate people as much as you appear uninviting. To be more inviting, you need to lie a little with your body language and expressions. Greet people with an open smile. Look them in the eye, and make them feel like you're happy to see them. Let your facial muscles go lack or take on a "curious" look. Look up at the people around you rather than at the walls, at your feet, and at your gadgets.

There are polite windows of opportunity when communicating with strangers for example, you have 1-5 seconds in these situations to make a comment: When you first approach one another; when you are in close proximity and make eye contact for the first time; when you change positions and have to come closer; when an event occurs that affects you both; when other strangers strike up a conversation in front of you, and you have something funny, and completely vanilla to add (within the first 15 seconds or so). If you are "open" to talk, or say something yourself, you may be surprised.

Personally, I can't help being friendly like that to kids and pets, so they gravitate to me, but I prefer to avoid chit-chat with strangers.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

If all else fails, get drunk.

 

[Jungle]

Extroverts gain energy from feedback so you would not attract them because they gain nothing from the "blank face" experience.

That's not true at all. Anyone who is dominated by an extraverted function will naturally be attracted to the complementary interior function. Fe doms are attracted to Ti doms, Te to Fi, Se to Ni and Ne to Si.

But often that will only happen after the extrovert has been introduced to the introvert or bumped into them in some way... because introverts are not normally in the thick of the action. It can just be a case 'out of sight, out of mind'.

 

[StevenM]

Generally, I don't think extroverts get intimidated easily.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Stopped by this thread because I originally misread the title as "Do we exterminate introverts?" to which I had hoped to lend a resounding "that seems like overkill!" to the discussion.

That's not true at all. Anyone who is dominated by an extraverted function will naturally be attracted to the complementary interior function. Fe doms are attracted to Ti doms, Te to Fi, Se to Ni and Ne to Si.

I mean... if you say so. I certainly don't have any evidence to counter your assertion, but..


Also, to address the OP, I don't think it's necessarily a matter of intimidation. If someone is sitting quietly being all introverted, one will naturally assume they would prefer to remain undisturbed and as such will tend to avoid approaching them. Yellow kind of beat me to this point. It's all about body language, I think, and presenting at least some facade of openness to the concept of being approached or, if you like, approaching someone who seems like they'd be open to being approached.

 

[computerhxr]

That's not true at all. Anyone who is dominated by an extraverted function will naturally be attracted to the complementary interior function. Fe doms are attracted to Ti doms, Te to Fi, Se to Ni and Ne to Si.

So those dominated extraverted function gain energy from blank face reactions?

Just going off personal experience, and those that I know have dominant extraverted function... When they talk to me, and I give them the blank face, they move on... Until they meet up with someone who also has a dominant extraverted function, then they feed off of each others reactions.

If you're talking about compatibility, then I would agree to some extent... They balance each other out. In general, if you're in a coffee shop or a party, then it's a totally different story.

Random reference...

"Introverts are drawn inward to their thoughts and feelings and get their energy from time spent away from others, while extroverts plunge into the external world and are renewed by the experience. Although these notions continue to be debated and refined, psychologists generally agree that the introvert is easily over-stimulated, while the extrovert feels enlivened by stimulation."

There is no stimulation by a blank face reaction.

 

[Jungle]

So those dominated extraverted function gain energy from blank face reactions?

Just going off personal experience, and those that I know have dominant extraverted function... When they talk to me, and I give them the blank face, they move on... Until they meet up with someone who also has a dominant extraverted function, then they feed off of each others reactions.

If you're talking about compatibility, then I would agree to some extent... They balance each other out. In general, if you're in a coffee shop or a party, then it's a totally different story.

Random reference...

"Introverts are drawn inward to their thoughts and feelings and get their energy from time spent away from others, while extroverts plunge into the external world and are renewed by the experience. Although these notions continue to be debated and refined, psychologists generally agree that the introvert is easily over-stimulated, while the extrovert feels enlivened by stimulation."

There is no stimulation by a blank face reaction.

I guess that a blank face is basically an external expression of someone who is in a deep internal process. I'm not sure that extroverts get energy from that in the way they might get energy from talking to other extroverts, but I do think they can be very strongly attracted to it as a type of grounding counterweight to their own energy - but perhaps only once they are given some kind of clue as to what is going on inside behind the blank face. Then they want to know more.

I think the key in that type of coffee shop / party scenario is that they need to find some type of 'in' before they will really get interested. Like maybe you make an interesting/unusual comment about something (Ti) that captures their curiosity. From that point they will want to know more.

So I guess I agree with you on a certain level. But I do think there is often a genuine attraction there once they have seen a hint of what might be going on behind the blank face.

As for the original question - I guess it is quite possible that extroverts feel intimidated by introverts just as much as introverts can feel intimated by extroverts. Because in each case the one group is living in a world in which the other could not survive for any length of time.

 

[TylerTennessee]

Maybe you don't intimidate people as much as you appear uninviting. To be more inviting, you need to lie a little with your body language and expressions. Greet people with an open smile. Look them in the eye, and make them feel like you're happy to see them. Let your facial muscles go lack or take on a "curious" look. Look up at the people around you rather than at the walls, at your feet, and at your gadgets.

There are polite windows of opportunity when communicating with strangers for example, you have 1-5 seconds in these situations to make a comment: When you first approach one another; when you are in close proximity and make eye contact for the first time; when you change positions and have to come closer; when an event occurs that affects you both; when other strangers strike up a conversation in front of you, and you have something funny, and completely vanilla to add (within the first 15 seconds or so). If you are "open" to talk, or say something yourself, you may be surprised.

Personally, I can't help being friendly like that to kids and pets, so they gravitate to me, but I prefer to avoid chit-chat with strangers.

I guess that a blank face is basically an external expression of someone who is in a deep internal process. I'm not sure that extroverts get energy from that in the way they might get energy from talking to other extroverts, but I do think they can be very strongly attracted to it as a type of grounding counterweight to their own energy - but perhaps only once they are given some kind of clue as to what is going on inside behind the blank face. Then they want to know more.

I think the key in that type of coffee shop / party scenario is that they need to find some type of 'in' before they will really get interested. Like maybe you make an interesting/unusual comment about something (Ti) that captures their curiosity. From that point they will want to know more.

So I guess I agree with you on a certain level. But I do think there is often a genuine attraction there once they have seen a hint of what might be going on behind the blank face.

As for the original question - I guess it is quite possible that extroverts feel intimidated by introverts just as much as introverts can feel intimated by extroverts. Because in each case the one group is living in a world in which the other could not survive for any length of time.

Most complete answer thus far?