YOLOisonlyprinciple
Active Member
- Local time
- Today 7:39 PM
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2013
- Messages
- 322
I try to run from a bear when i have a fractured leg. I feel i cant do it; my leg is too broken for me to run.
I can see the river which i need to cross to get my gun, but it is too much- the pain too great. Few men can outrun a bear under normal circumstances.
And i have a fractured leg too. I should give up. I cant walk anymore, let alone run. Noone can blame me for being caught by the bear- i am injured, no one can blame me for not outrunning the bear. But i know it is my life that i will lose if i stop. I know i cant stop. I turn back to see how much leeway i have. The bear is a mile away. I have 10 more to go. It is theoretically possible to make it. Some men have. But im not sure how many have with a broken leg. I keep on hopping ahead. Soon the pain gets to me. I think to myself, maybe i should rest. Maybe if i rest, i can run faster. So i lay down and close my eyes:
With my eyes closed, I feel no burden, I forget about the bear, suddenly i forget about my leg, i forget about the fear. And i lull myself to a false sense of security, i dont have to try anymore. My broken leg exists only in my mind. The bear exists only in my mind. Danger exists only in my mind. None of them truly exist. I lie to myself.
But, alas i cannot change the reality just by imagining a different one. I am not a child anymore. But i keep my eyes closed, for when i awake i will know the pain again, better to distract myself, better to distract myself from reality, i tell myself i will face the pain after a few moments. But i know the longer i rest, the faster i have to run, causing even more pain. But i dont seem to care, i tell myself that future me can handle more pain, future me can do more, he is stronger. That is because the pain levels now have exceeded my tolerance threshold, i am stuck in a vicious cycle. I am stuck in a system where i dont have the physical and mental resources to move on. I might not have died yet- neither do i want to die, but i am mathematically dead; all the variables are determined, there is no randomness left.
I am just waiting for the simulation to complete, I wish to derive a different solution, but alas i cannot, all i can do is make the simulation take longer to complete, while i sit here waiting for the results of a process which i already know the answer to.
I wait and i close my eyes and i wait, waiting for the beep i wait..
I can see the river which i need to cross to get my gun, but it is too much- the pain too great. Few men can outrun a bear under normal circumstances.
And i have a fractured leg too. I should give up. I cant walk anymore, let alone run. Noone can blame me for being caught by the bear- i am injured, no one can blame me for not outrunning the bear. But i know it is my life that i will lose if i stop. I know i cant stop. I turn back to see how much leeway i have. The bear is a mile away. I have 10 more to go. It is theoretically possible to make it. Some men have. But im not sure how many have with a broken leg. I keep on hopping ahead. Soon the pain gets to me. I think to myself, maybe i should rest. Maybe if i rest, i can run faster. So i lay down and close my eyes:
With my eyes closed, I feel no burden, I forget about the bear, suddenly i forget about my leg, i forget about the fear. And i lull myself to a false sense of security, i dont have to try anymore. My broken leg exists only in my mind. The bear exists only in my mind. Danger exists only in my mind. None of them truly exist. I lie to myself.
But, alas i cannot change the reality just by imagining a different one. I am not a child anymore. But i keep my eyes closed, for when i awake i will know the pain again, better to distract myself, better to distract myself from reality, i tell myself i will face the pain after a few moments. But i know the longer i rest, the faster i have to run, causing even more pain. But i dont seem to care, i tell myself that future me can handle more pain, future me can do more, he is stronger. That is because the pain levels now have exceeded my tolerance threshold, i am stuck in a vicious cycle. I am stuck in a system where i dont have the physical and mental resources to move on. I might not have died yet- neither do i want to die, but i am mathematically dead; all the variables are determined, there is no randomness left.
I am just waiting for the simulation to complete, I wish to derive a different solution, but alas i cannot, all i can do is make the simulation take longer to complete, while i sit here waiting for the results of a process which i already know the answer to.
I wait and i close my eyes and i wait, waiting for the beep i wait..