DGH's matchmaking advice for INTPs

[DrGregoryHouse]

Right now I'm leaning towards (the idea of) another INTP or an INFP.

I think:

-an "S" is a horrible idea for an INTP.

-"I" might be preferable for an INTP if the I is super strong.

-"T" vs "F" is likely a matter of preference mostly as far as romantic long term relationships go.

-"P" vs "J" is not a deal breaker but personally I think I'd prefer a P.

I don't like to put LittleMissTotoro (INTP) on the spot, but I find her thoughts and being to be mesmerizing (if you are on this forum and not currently in a relationship send me a PM LMT!):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5eECRUjiKA

I also don't like to put LadyLullaby (INFJ) on the spot, but I also find her thoughts and being mesmerizing:

https://www.youtube.com/user/brackenck

I do worry about the J in the INFJ because I could see the idealism in the INFJ causing too great an amount of friction with the INTP.

Same with the ENFJ plus the E might just make the whole long term romance with an I untenable.

Thoughts from this wonderful community of intelligent truth seekers?

 

[Inquisitor]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Right now I'm leaning towards (the idea of) another INTP or an INFP.

I think:

-an "S" is a horrible idea for an INTP.

-"I" might be preferable for an INTP if the I is super strong.

-"T" vs "F" is likely a matter of preference mostly as far as romantic long term relationships go.

-"P" vs "J" is not a deal breaker but personally I think I'd prefer a P.

I don't like to put LittleMissTotoro (INTP) on the spot, but I find her thoughts and being to be mesmerizing (if you are on this forum and not currently in a relationship send me a PM LMT!):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5eECRUjiKA

I also don't like to put LadyLullaby (INFJ) on the spot, but I also find her thoughts and being mesmerizing:

https://www.youtube.com/user/brackenck

I do worry about the J in the INFJ because I could see the idealism in the INFJ causing too great an amount of friction with the INTP.

Same with the ENFJ plus the E might just make the whole long term romance with an I untenable.

Thoughts from this wonderful community of intelligent truth seekers?

This has been touched on many times before. INTP-INFJ is the so-called "golden pair." See AJ Drenth's site for more. I don't think I have ever dated an INFJ, so can't comment. Architect is married to one though. Buy AJ Drenth's INTP book for more on this. Totally worth it. He explores compatibility for the INTP with all the MBTI types.

 

[MrBean13]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

INFJ's are very rare to find, unless there were a myers briggs version of eHarmony. I think I would be fine to settle with a 5'2 INFP :3

 

[Black Rose]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

i am INFJ male
INTP females are nice

really, why do we not have people to understand us

 

[Black Rose]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Duality

Spoiler

In romance
Romantic relationships affect the most intimate areas of a person's functioning, so dualization in this area will have the greatest affect on a person's life.
The early stages of a dual romance may be similar to any other relationship where infatuation is present, but what is different is the psychological distance between the partners. The naturally close distance causes partners to relax internally and be more spontaneous than they would be in most other relationships. Duals quickly recognize that their partner is not overly concerned with their weaknesses and is not going to criticize sore spots. In romance dual partners quickly move from stereotyped romantic behavior to what is actually natural and sincere for them. Partners may find that they "discover themselves" through the dual relationship. By seeking out their true desires and natural tendencies and ignoring societal expectations, they actually enrich the relationship and gladden their partner. If a person has not enjoyed dual relations before, experiencing them for the first time will likely be a transformational experience. In the initial stage of a dual relationship, partners often "drop out" of society for a period of time to devote energy to the new relationship and the exciting process of self-discovery.
After infatuation diminishes, stable romantic relationships between duals generally grow into tender friendships with a strong element of playfulness. No matter how old the relationship is, duals are continually able to press their partner's buttons through playfully "tickling" his or her suggestive function. Since this is the person's base function, this comes naturally, even automatically. Often, simply displaying very typical behaviors associated with the partner's suggestive function makes the other person smile or laugh. Over the long term, duals tend to divide responsibilities for different areas of their life together along the lines of their Ego functions, even if this contradicts popular ideas about gender roles. This relieves psychological strain and frees up energy.
Dual relations in romance develop partners' individuality, and different dual pairs may exhibit different external behavior. Some couples may seem like they fight a lot; in actuality, they are expressing emotions that neither partner takes personally, and letting off steam and demonstrating playful aggression may well be part of the "game" that the partners have developed. Other couples may seem businesslike or even disinterested in each other in public until you get to know them better. In each case, the couple's behavior will center around the elements of each partner's Ego functions — especially the base function.
Dual romantic relations can have elements of conflict just like any other as irritation and stress build up and the couple experiences external pressures. The key difference is the inherent psychological comfort level and the letting down of barriers that automatically occurs in dual relations. The conflicts that do arise are usually worked through carefully (which means different things for each dual pair) and ultimately enhance the relationship and partners' individuality.
Dual relations are a "closed system" in that partners in a successful dual relationship (see disclaimer below) satisfy most of each others' psychological needs and become a self-sufficient unit. They may seem closed off and inaccessible to some outsiders, but partners have simply become more selective about their activities and outside contacts as they help each other remove unnecessary irritants and stresses in their lives. Such conditions encourage self-realization, which requires focusing energy on things that are important to you and ignoring much else.
Some romantic dual couples who spend the vast majority of their time together may experience an "identity blurring" effect. In this circumstance, the couple may lose most sense of distinction between one another, functioning not as two parts of a whole, but merely as a whole itself. This can be accompanied by a distancing of the idea of the individuals' physical selves and names from the actual conception of the partner. This can eventually reach point where the partner becomes difficult to conceive of or even picture externally-- as though images of them or their name are actually referring to some third old friend whom the partner has not seen in a while. Duality in this form could well be termed "integration"; neither partner could fully define their identity without some inclusion of the other.

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/174-Socionics-Intertype-Relations-Chart

actual this would make INFJ match ESTP and INTP match ESFJ

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

actual this would make INFJ match ESTP and INTP match ESFJ

I think this matching belongs to the suicide thread.

 

[rainman312]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Probably the little-known HAND type would be optimal.

Jokes aside, I'd say an INFx would be the best type for an INTP male. Another INTP would probably be very enjoyable for a while, until you no longer had electricity, running water, or a car because nobody payed bills or did anything productive.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

ExFP or xSFJ

not a T type. an INTP who is being sincere wants the best femalest woman, not some nerd image accessory. maybe an STJ who is incapable of dealing with any emotions would be best adviced to a T female. or a man who is F himself, that could complement well in the relationship. that could be a neat way for two people to get along. INTP has the relationship and the getting along on second priority to the rational(ized) ideal and its reflection in the object of desire. INTP is above all else immensely perfectionist, and reductionist. these core drives are evident in the approach to mating.

this has been my experience, mostly mental. right now i am in a relationship with an ISFJ. she is very emotional and we are in many ways opposite. she tends to point that out more than i do so no typology confirmation bias on my part. unless i have suggestively planted that narrative on her somehow.

 

[StevenM]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I wouldn't try to make a general rule about it. I find I get along best with an ENFJ friend that I have right now. It's odd that she's the only one that doesn't trigger me shutting down from being shy and anxious.

 

[Neckbeard]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I like INF types the most I think.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Meh good to reassuringly know what's in and what's best of the best

 

[Yellow]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

To be honest, the person you bond with is the type for you.

Well beyond type, you need to be a good fit for each other in maturity, life experience, long-term goals, spiritual beliefs/values, sex drive, child-rearing philosophies (if you plan on reproducing), power expectations, defense mechanisms, physical fitness, intelligence, and countless other factors.

I know an INTP man who is very happily married to an ESFJ woman. They don't fuck as often as he'd like, but that's nothing new. I was married to an ESFJ man and it was (literally) torture.

ESFJ is a bad example, of course, because they are so variable, but it was the only anecdote available.

The point is, you may want to forget type and focus on the things that allow for long-term compatibility.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

^ that's perfectly sound, and i hereby announce that my post should be read as an answer to the creative challenge of making type relevant at all, rather than as emanating from a belief in the relevance of type. thus it is congruent with the wisdom displayed in Yellow's above post, even though it makes claims. for the claims are tentative.

the standard formulas for type compatibility are pretty bollocks. and boring.

 

[Architect]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

The topic has been discussed many times. The theory is that generally type compatibility is to align on the 2nd and 4th letters, and be opposite on the 1st and 3rd.

INFJ

Generally called the "Golden Couple" the INTP-INFJ is a frequent pairing, when they can find each other. Some searching will find many resources.

ENFJ

Often mentioned, I think even Keirsey picks this one. I have my doubts, all the ENFJ's I've known have been too extraverted too be a match. They'd get bored with my stay at home nature, and their need for people would drive me up the wall.

ENFP's

This could work out very well. They'd manage the social life and I'd manage the home life. I've liked the ENFP's I've met from a type perspective. You'd have to get used to having lots of people trope through the house though. Interestingly I know a ISTP-ENFP couple, the ISTP being similar to an INTP in some ways.

ISFP

The only S I find true compatibility with, they make great friends. Might have issues as a mate

 

[Mordecai]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

ENFP's

This could work out very well. They'd manage the social life and I'd manage the home life. I've liked the ENFP's I've met from a type perspective. You'd have to get used to having lots of people trope through the house though. Interestingly I know a ISTP-ENFP couple, the ISTP being similar to an INTP in some ways.

I don't have much to add to this conversation seeing as my thoughts have been expressed one way or another, but I can vouch that ENFPs and INTPs can be quite compatible.

 

[Spirit]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

How would this be different for INTP Females looking for partners? When ever I encounter female ISTP, the type of "MBTI preferences" that work for the guys looking for partners, do not work as well.

 

[Oddity]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I know an INTP man who is very happily married to an ESFJ woman. They don't fuck as often as he'd like, but that's nothing new. I was married to an ESFJ man and it was (literally) torture.

How often are we talking, here?

Anyway, types I have been known to get along with: NTP, ISTP, NFs of various kinds... But I don't really have much relationship history to extrapolate from, just past friendships.

 

[Pyropyro]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

INFJ's are very rare to find, unless there were a myers briggs version of eHarmony. I think I would be fine to settle with a 5'2 INFP :3

I found this thread on the net.

http://personalitycafe.com/articles/5945-personality-cafe-myers-briggs-dating-service-now-open.html

I think a dating and MBTI site was discussed in INTPf before and personality cafe was mentioned then.

 

[Kyroxia]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

INFJ's are very rare to find, unless there were a myers briggs version of eHarmony. I think I would be fine to settle with a 5'2 INFP :3

*raises hand*

 

[Sinny91]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Is there an opposite version of this thread, for INTP women?

 

[Haim]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Is there an opposite version of this thread, for INTP women?

I am sure ain't going to open it

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

 

[Alias]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

The topic has been discussed many times. The theory is that generally type compatibility is to align on the 2nd and 4th letters, and be opposite on the 1st and 3rd.
ENFJ

Often mentioned, I think even Keirsey picks this one. I have my doubts, all the ENFJ's I've known have been too extraverted too be a match. They'd get bored with my stay at home nature, and their need for people would drive me up the wall.

I find ENFJ to be great if you can get past the extraversion. It's a matter of how introverted you are. I, personally, would not mind an E.

 

[Alias]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I severely disagree. There is no way that no F types are ideal for INTP. And an ESTJ is one of the last mates I'd pick.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I like how this chart is weighted so heavily in favor of rationals.

 

[Yellow]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Why can't NFs doodle-bop with S-types?

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I like how this chart is weighted so heavily in favor of rationals.

I'm not sure about it's origin, but I've actually seen this chart before in a facebook group for the NT types*, so it seems the kind of thing that "rationals" throw around to make themselves feel (gasp! ) good.

Why can't NFs doodle-bop with S-types?

Heh, doodle-bop. I'm going to use that one in the future.


*my friend added me to the group and it's absolute cancer. It's honestly impossible for me to describe in words how (angry/disappointed/other emotions I don't have words for) it makes me.

 

[Alias]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Why can't NFs doodle-bop with S-types?

That's weird on that chart. I know they don't work too well with SPs, but that's just a matter of being different.

 

[WALKYRIA]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

If she's sexy and feminine, than that's good to maint... thus likely F types I suppose.
T types are too rough for me and we get easily in a fight; or she has massive sexual needs and I find it a turn off... Or she is too arrogant and get in arguments etc. SO NO T TYPES except maybe INTP? dunno....
Thus sexy NFs if possible; and I'm a ENFJ magnet anyway( I suspect NTPs in general)... I get some INFJ from time to time but they are abit harscher to spot and get.( ever seen the girl you like and she obviously likes you, but no one of you does anything... well most likely an INFJ.... an ENFJ would stare and make things very obvious lol).

 

[Alias]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I'm with Walkyria, I (and other INTPs) seem to get on well with ENFJs. As far as personal taste, I'm more into NFs.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

INFJ or ENFJ.

An INFJ would calm you with their NF logic and their personal interests would arise curiosity. The Ne-Fe really kicks in when exploring their hobbies. There's also an undertone of loyalty that sort of comes off as 'blind faith'. An INFJ also tolerates your Si, so that's another bonus.

ENFJ's on the other hand are just amazed by an INTP's thought processes and articulation. To an INTP this comes off as, "oh this person thinks I'm smart, but it's nothing really, how am I supposed to react to this, kind or cold??' The ENFJ sort of challenges your Fe.

I've never interacted or was aware of an ENTJ female, but I also think this could work, although I think the constant extroversion the ENTJ would require might burn the INTP. There's a certain drive in the ENTJ that sort of seems easy to take down, which I guess would be the struggle or point of balance between that couple. Furthermore I imagine the female would do most of the breadwinning activities, allowing me to do whatever my Ne desires (I really wonder how the dynamics of this relationship would work out though, even if this would be an extremely rare coupling)

Socionics has interesting things to say about these relations, although they're somewhat superficial.

 

[WALKYRIA]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

LOl looks like ENFJ ladies are INTP males personal little Who**s... But can we really entertain a great and profund relationship with someone that smitten by our brillance?

Most of times I ended up annoyed by ENFJs affection, neediness and clinginess... they give up too much love lol. INFJ are also clingy lol, but less so, since they have an internal world... but generally they are bit more crazier than INFJs?! I met much much more ENFJ than INFJ so don't know about the downs of INFJs much...

IMO !

 

[ENTP lurker]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I strongly suggest ISFJ or ESFJ. Maybe ENFJ.
Can you imagine the inertia and stagnation with an INFJ?
While INFJs are cool they are bit of whimsical and temperamental (inner ESTP). Their trustworthiness is not in par with SFJs. They need ESTP crackdown. I'm not going to go down with that.

Stay away from SFPs. It is a suicide route.

 

[viche]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

It's very easy to calculate the ideal mate of INTP from INTP's functional preferences.

INTP has strong functions of Ti and Ne (depending on subtype either one or the other tends to predominate).

INTP has weak functions of tertiary Si and "inferior" Fe where INTPs typically need some help and support from others (again, depending on subtype either one or the other function in INTP requires more help).

Mutual understanding is best when two people share all "cognitive perspectives" i.e. functions in common. Se will never understand the needs of Si. Fe and Te won't ever understand each other in relationships, and so on. That much is clear.

Taking a look at MBTI types that:
- Share all functions in common with INTP.
- Have their strong functions as their weak ones, and their weak functions as their strong ones for mutual help and support.
There are two types that fulfill these criteria of understanding and reciprocity: they are ESFJ and ISFJ.

Socionics suggests ESFJ as the ideal match for the TiNe type. Though many INTPs reject this (usually on purely theoretical grounds, having no relationship experience with a mature ESFJ), it's the match that has the potential of being most rewarding to an INTP.

INTP and ESFJ are practically the same type "from different ends":
INTP: Ti Ne Si Fe
ESFJ: Fe Si Ne Ti
They have all the same functions but in different order. This layout perfectly matches the description of "the other half".

Second best choices include types that can partially meet INTP's needs i.e. supply the INTP with either Fe or Si: among the Fe-suppliers we have ENFJ and INFJ; among the Si suppliers there are ISTJ and ESTJ.

There are also two types that have all of INTPs functional preferences, but exactly same strong and weak points, types that understand each other well, but can't quite support or meet each other's needs: these types are ENTP and another INTP.

In summary, good matches for INTP are: ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ISTJ, ESTJ, ENTP, INTP.

Types like ESFP, ISFP, INTJ, and ENTJ share no, zero, nada cognitive perspectives in common with the INTP raising the chances of feeling misunderstood, unsupported, and alienated in such a pairing.

 

[OmoInisa]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

It's very easy to calculate the ideal mate of INTP from INTP's functional preferences.

INTP has strong functions of Ti and Ne (depending on subtype either one or the other tends to predominate).

INTP has weak functions of tertiary Si and "inferior" Fe where INTPs typically need some help and support from others (again, depending on subtype either one or the other function in INTP requires more help).

Mutual understanding is best when two people share all "cognitive perspectives" i.e. functions in common. Se will never understand the needs of Si. Fe and Te won't ever understand each other in relationships, and so on. That much is clear.

Taking a look at MBTI types that:
- Share all functions in common with INTP.
- Have their strong functions as their weak ones, and their weak functions as their strong ones for mutual help and support.
There are two types that fulfill these criteria of understanding and reciprocity: they are ESFJ and ISFJ.

Socionics suggests ESFJ as the ideal match for the TiNe type. Though many INTPs reject this (usually on purely theoretical grounds, having no relationship experience with a mature ESFJ), it's the match that has the potential of being most rewarding to an INTP.

INTP and ESFJ are practically the same type "from different ends":
INTP: Ti Ne Si Fe
ESFJ: Fe Si Ne Ti
They have all the same functions but in different order. This layout perfectly matches the description of "the other half".

Second best choices include types that can partially meet INTP's needs i.e. supply the INTP with either Fe or Si: among the Fe-suppliers we have ENFJ and INFJ; among the Si suppliers there are ISTJ and ESTJ.

There are also two types that have all of INTPs functional preferences, but exactly same strong and weak points, types that understand each other well, but can't quite support or meet each other's needs: these types are ENTP and another INTP.

In summary, good matches for INTP are: ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, ISTJ, ESTJ, ENTP, INTP.

Types like ESFP, ISFP, INTJ, and ENTJ share no, zero, nada cognitive perspectives in common with the INTP raising the chances of feeling misunderstood, unsupported, and alienated in such a pairing.

One could do worse than taking the formula into account. It does have weaknesses however. I would go as far as agreeing that an FJ is ideal for marriage, all else being equal. Beyond that, the picture gets more complicated. Marrying your animus/anima is a bad idea; it's rough to have your inferior being constantly tugged at. It's sweet only in small doses. The dual intertype relationship works better when both people are moderate in the expression of their dominant functions.

So an EFJ is problematic due to the wrenching dynamic. Another lense to see that through is that the I/E clash is best avoided. Having sharply different life rhythms is bad news for a marriage.

Sharing the same functions, and being strong in each other's weak functions, is ideal. Socionics has this right. However, an attendant problem with that is the S/N gap. That's seen as very problematic in the MBTI community, but it's down- played in Socionics. MBTI has this right.

The end result of this in my view is that an INTP is best paired with an ISFJ or an INFJ. The INFJ option is widely recognised in the MBTI community; the ISFJ rather less so. Part of the reason is that MBTI does err in the opposite way, in overplaying the S/N problem.

The best choice between the two could come down to personal preference and life experience. An INTP looking for stimulation and dynamism may prefer an INFJ. One more interested in stability, healthy functioning and psychological harmony may prefer an ISFJ.

Interesting comment about the INFJ's inner ESTP. It's true. NFJ's do have an inner STP. I know this from experience. And that means they have a psychological demand that you be an STP. This will manifest itself in all sorts of unpleasant ways in a marriage to an INTP.
And we also have our inner SFJ.

The less prominently these cognitive preferences are expressed, the less significant these dynamics are.

 

[Puffy]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

To be honest, the person you bond with is the type for you.

Well beyond type, you need to be a good fit for each other in maturity, life experience, long-term goals, spiritual beliefs/values, sex drive, child-rearing philosophies (if you plan on reproducing), power expectations, defense mechanisms, physical fitness, intelligence, and countless other factors.

I know an INTP man who is very happily married to an ESFJ woman. They don't fuck as often as he'd like, but that's nothing new. I was married to an ESFJ man and it was (literally) torture.

ESFJ is a bad example, of course, because they are so variable, but it was the only anecdote available.

The point is, you may want to forget type and focus on the things that allow for long-term compatibility.

I was going to post then saw this. The number of times Yellow has post-blocked me and I scroll on and say nothing.

The MBTI-logic seems okay, but its common-sense to the point that it's redundant. Don't pair with someone identical to you, but similar enough that there's relation, and different enough that there's contrast. Bleh.

 

[xbox]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

some of my best friends are enfj, infp, infj, intp, and intj.
so i dont kno, as long as you are NF or NT, i'll like you and get you

 

[Architect]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

It's really simple; observe what most successful couples are. Look at the patterns. What you'll find is the following

• Most of the time N's pair with N's and S's with S's.
• Most of the time T's pair with F's
• Frequently J's pair with P's
• Frequently E's pair with E's, and I's with I's

That's all you need. Yes find the person that works for you, that's a general bullshit line that doesn't help you find a mate. The above observations are reality. Kiersey got this really wrong in PUM I but came around to these guidelines in PUM II.

The quick and dirty is pair on S/N and oppose on T/F

or ...

• S and N don't understand each other
• E and I are at odds with each other
• J and P need each other
• T and F desire each other

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

INTP need someone who take Care of him. Fi people will criticise you and never help in your awkward Social situations.

FJ people wont critisize you for your awkwardness and for nothing more as Long as you are good person, and most intps are. They also like planning journeys, Home stuff and other Little things which are terror for me and waste of time. Personally esfjs and infjs are the best females I met.

 

[precision18mom]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I would like to know what is meant by "One Sided Match" in the chart. I am intp and my husband is istp and we've been married for 26 years. Our children (now grown) are daughter - intp and son entp.

 

[randomgenerated]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I was with ISFJ and well... just dont go there, she might be questioning your questioning and that's a situation out of question!

ENFJ gives me butterflies when she speak about amazing things she's passionate about... and so full of energy As a savvy 'work from home' fan, right now at least I think I wouldn't mind a person that would organise our social life in evenings, I mean im ready to do a lot for lady that will stimulate me intellectually! especially being intp... is no that we have greatest selection right?

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

ESFJ

 

[intp_xp]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I have a 5'2'' INFJ wife and yes, we do seem to be a good pair. We have been married 18 years and have 4 kids. She takes care of me and she appreciates that I understand her because she feels most people don't.

 

[smithcommajohn]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I can kind of see ESFJ as my best friend is that type. He helps me to come out of my shell with people, though it can get old quick. We do sometimes get on each others' nerves because of things like "planning", "socializing", "politics", etc. A woman version of him would probably drive me nuts. I think they make better friends where you can easily escape them.

INTPs are awesome because they say just what you're thinking. INFPs are beautiful and magical. I don't know any INFJs, but I'd like to. ENFPs are fun and caring. I don't know any ENTPs, but would like to. ENTJs are intoxicating. INTJs are interesting and good friends, but would make a poor partner, I think. I don't know any ENFJs, but would like to.

S's are just bad news for a real relationship. They won't ever understand us.

 

[narcissistic]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

ExFJ & ExTJ I can see as good partners for INTPs.

 

[davidintp]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

My wife is an ENTP. Other than lacking some decision making abilities we're a super happy and good match!

 

[Crux_Cheetah]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I'd say it's more of something to come naturally. Although I'd say an ESFJ would be a bad idea, an ESTJ would appear demanding to an INTP and an ISTJ would appear boring. But in general I think any relationship could work out.

 

[bvanevery]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

Probably the little-known HAND type would be optimal.

I was gonna say something more tawdry still, but I'll refrain. To quote Tina Turner, "What's type got to do, got to do with it?"

Another INTP would probably be very enjoyable for a while, until you no longer had electricity, running water, or a car because nobody payed bills or did anything productive.

I'd take that bet, seeing as how I live out of a car, and am already lacking 1 and 2 on your list. I was productive enough to learn how to fix a car. Most young eligible women aren't going to live this way though, because they don't have to.

I don't think people should decide any of this "by their type" or type compatibility charts. I think they should think about what aspects of the MBTI do or don't irritate them. After all, people tend to ignore how strongly or weakly expressed they are in various categories, when they try to come up with these ideas about type compatibility.

For instance in my case, I vs. E would be a non-issue. I'm definitely 'I' but not strongly so. I become extroverted in situations where I can actually exhibit my overwhelming 'N' somehow.

I can't stand strong Judgers. Total dealbreaker for me. They would totally need to get lost / go away.

I find the tendency of strong Feelers to take everything personally to be annoying. I'd see if they can be "talked down" from drama, i.e. reasoned with. If not, forget it. I don't believe in or appreciate drama.

I'd be concerned that a S might not be able to keep up with me intellectually. If she bored me, that would pretty much be the end of it once the sex was over. I wouldn't automatically assume that a S will be intellectually boring though. I'd have to see.

 

[Creeping Death]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

I have an INFJ female. We met when we were both in high school. It was magical, but of course nothing is flawless and we've disconnected and reconnected over the years.. even so, no other relationship has had me nearly as interested and exposed. We always end up back with each other after a period of being distant. Such chemistry, if I didn't know better I'd say she was psychic.

Although it seems INTP male with INFJ female is an amazing matchup, I didn't know her type right away, I actually met her before I really knew about MBTI. Regardless of type though, we had a shitfuckton in common.. so searching for someone by type alone might not always get the expected results. If someone is the MB type you want but has nothing else in common it may be disappointing.

 

[silikone]

Re: Ideal MBTI female companion for a male INTP

• S and N don't understand each other
• E and I are at odds with each other
• J and P need each other
• T and F desire each other

I can definitely see the idea behind this.

Extroverts won't be satisfied by a single intimate relationship. If an introvert is forced to endure with an extrovert's desires to seek out, he will be drained.

Sensors and intuitives can share a lot of thoughts and feelings, but if one desires to go deeper, which is probably essential for intimacy, they will be alien to each other.

A thinker needs a feeler to bring out emotions. A feeler needs a thinker for constructive criticism.

A perceiver needs a judger to manage that which has been discovered. A judger needs a perceiver to discover what should be managed.