Developing our Fe as we grow up

[sou]

I used to be utterly oblivious as to what others are feeling and what they mean when they act in a certain way. I think part of it is due to me being introverted which meant I didn't have enough social experience to figure human emotions out, all I had to rely on was my own and needless to say mine are not that typical.


But as I got more social, as social as an introvert can get, I kinda accumulated what I consider my database for human emotions. Now I'm perceived by others as compassionate. Only my closest friends know how detached I am.


​

I'm curious to know how developed your Fe is.​

Do females develop their Fe more than males because of social roles?​

Remember I'm still not sure if I'm INTP.​

 

[The Introvert]

Fe is an interesting function for me. I'm not an INTP, mind you.

It seems like I've always had a strong connection to Fe. Ever since I can remember, it's been fairly easy for me to understand what people are feeling and not cause a scene. This doesn't mean that I'm still not usually emotionally distant, however.

For me, it's not an analytical thing as much as it just comes naturally. I can't say I have a range of human emotions "stashed away" as much as I just know how people are feeling based on whatever the circumstance may be.

 

[sou]

Fe is an interesting function for me. I'm not an INTP, mind you.

It seems like I've always had a strong connection to Fe. Ever since I can remember, it's been fairly easy for me to understand what people are feeling and not cause a scene. This doesn't mean that I'm still not usually emotionally distant, however.

For me, it's not an analytical thing as much as it just comes naturally. I can't say I have a range of human emotions "stashed away" as much as I just know how people are feeling based on whatever the circumstance may be.

If you don't mind me asking, what personality type are you?

 

[The Introvert]

If you don't mind me asking, what personality type are you?

INFJ/INTJ

Still in the process in figuring out exactly. My last post makes me lean more towards INFJ, but so far there is still more evidence pointing towards INTJ. It's really much more difficult to figure out than others make it seem

At least for me.

 

[Question]

I can see others emotions if I care to, if it is a conversation with one person I notice what they are feeling. I just tend not to care, or I usually decide that the emotion is useless and if I ignore it it will go away.

 

[Duxwing]

INFJ/INTJ

Still in the process in figuring out exactly. My last post makes me lean more towards INFJ, but so far there is still more evidence pointing towards INTJ. It's really much more difficult to figure out than others make it seem

At least for me.

Fe is not an INTJ function. INTJ's have Fi, an introverted function typically described as one of values and causes. Conversely, your natural talent for "reading" emotions would point to Fe and therefore your status as an INFJ, not an INTJ. You also have a calm, ethereal tone to your writing, which points to Ni-Fe rather than to Ni-Te, which has a very hard tone (read Proxy's posts sometime). Nevertheless, I'm biased because Fe is my inferior, which means that: I'm not too good at using it and I find myself warmed up by others' use of it (go to INFJ forum sometime, those people are like teddy bears).

-Duxwing

 

[SLushhYYY]

Fe is responsible for my evil grinning.

 

[Lot]

Fe can be so fun. And mixing it with Ti makes the world around you more interesting. I love seeing a waitress give you a smile and know what kind of smile it is. Is she mad? Is she just being polite? Does she actually care whether you're happy in the restaurant? Of course emotional displays can be deceiving, but in conjunction with your other functions makes thing that much more clear.

I've always had a deep ingrained connection with my Fe. It was always a strong driving force, and yet I often suppressed it. I used it in reading others, but hardly showed it. I would smile when needed and laugh (sort of), but beyond social graces I just kept it to myself. The only time it really showed was when it got out of my control. I once broke down and cried in front of my whole class in 8th grade, because all the other boys were making fun of me for sucking at volley ball. I said I had a head ache, but everyone knew.

Any who, it's a crazy function and I'm excited to see how is manifests it's self from and in me, as I get more confident and competent in it's use. As you see it add a more full picture of reality, you start to let it off it's leash more, and use it in less than practical ways.

That's my 2 cents.

 

[Toviyah]

I think having an ENFP mother probably helped bring it out in me...at least, I can sort of 'fake' a very polite friendly persona. I still get very nervous around girls my own age / when I'm in the spotlight.

 

[sou]

I can see others emotions if I care to, if it is a conversation with one person I notice what they are feeling. I just tend not to care, or I usually decide that the emotion is useless and if I ignore it it will go away.

I can relate to your inclination to dismiss the emotions of others as they seem irrational or useless, but by not giving up to this tendency of being apathetic INTPs can gain a lot, don't you agree?

Fe is responsible for my evil grinning.

Hmmmmm, now that you mentioned it I think it's responsible for many grins of my own.

Fe can be so fun. And mixing it with Ti makes the world around you more interesting. I love seeing a waitress give you a smile and know what kind of smile it is. Is she mad? Is she just being polite? Does she actually care whether you're happy in the restaurant? Of course emotional displays can be deceiving, but in conjunction with your other functions makes thing that much more clear.

You got me thinking Lot, a mature INTP with a well developed Ti and Fe can go a long way in life, if he can fight his laziness, apathy and indecisiveness that is. If we actually try we can manipulate people into doing what we want, we have the brains for it even if we don't have the well.

I think having an ENFP mother probably helped bring it out in me...at least, I can sort of 'fake' a very polite friendly persona. I still get very nervous around girls my own age / when I'm in the spotlight.

Feelers in our lives can be very helpful in developing our Fe. For me it might have been my ENFP best friend. ENFPs are especially useful since they will always be there for you.

INFJ/INTJ

Still in the process in figuring out exactly. My last post makes me lean more towards INFJ, but so far there is still more evidence pointing towards INTJ. It's really much more difficult to figure out than others make it seem

At least for me.

I agree it's much harder than most make it look. Deciding on I/E and J/P is easy enough since its effect is evident on your behavior, but N/S and T/F is more of an inner matter, it has to do with how you think and deal with matters internally so it's harder to decide on.

 

[The Introvert]

Fe is not an INTJ function. INTJ's have Fi, an introverted function typically described as one of values and causes. Conversely, your natural talent for "reading" emotions would point to Fe and therefore your status as an INFJ, not an INTJ. You also have a calm, ethereal tone to your writing, which points to Ni-Fe rather than to Ni-Te, which has a very hard tone (read Proxy's posts sometime). Nevertheless, I'm biased because Fe is my inferior, which means that: I'm not too good at using it and I find myself warmed up by others' use of it (go to INFJ forum sometime, those people are like teddy bears).

-Duxwing

@Duxwing

Maybe my problem is I don't understand feeling and thinking functions too well. For example, yes, my Fe seems to be strong, but then my Ti seems to be very weak, and I feel like I'm much more Te.

You might also notice from reading my posts that I have a poor relationship with my Ti. Maybe that is indicative of such, and not an absence of Ti/ better relationship with Te?

 

[Tony3d]

I used to be utterly oblivious as to what others are feeling and what they mean when they act in a certain way. I think part of it is due to me being introverted which meant I didn't have enough social experience to figure human emotions out, all I had to rely on was my own and needless to say mine are not that typical.



But as I got more social, as social as an introvert can get, I kinda accumulated what I consider my database for human emotions. Now I'm perceived by others as compassionate. Only my closest friends know how detached I am.




I'm curious to know how developed your Fe is.



Do females develop their Fe more than males because of social roles?



Remember I'm still not sure if I'm INTP.​

Fe is an interesting function for me. I'm not an INTP, mind you.

It seems like I've always had a strong connection to Fe. Ever since I can remember, it's been fairly easy for me to understand what people are feeling and not cause a scene. This doesn't mean that I'm still not usually emotionally distant, however.

For me, it's not an analytical thing as much as it just comes naturally. I can't say I have a range of human emotions "stashed away" as much as I just know how people are feeling based on whatever the circumstance may be.

Honestly, it sounds like Intuition and not Feeling to me... For both of you.

It sounds like a recognition of patterns in peoples social behaviours, you understand the cause and effect of your actions. That isn't the same as understanding peoples emotions.


I use my Ne as a false extroversion, I know how to connect with people based on patterns and adapting based on what actions I see the other person exibit.

Actually connecting with people, I find that hard. Careing about someone deeply when they don't care at all about you hurts more than anything else I have ever expereinced to date, so I don't want to go through that again.

I don't want to emotionally care for people, I just can read their patterns and adjust my energy level and my actions to what theirs is, and it allows me to get through emotional situations most of the time.

 

[Duxwing]

@Duxwing

Maybe my problem is I don't understand feeling and thinking functions too well. For example, yes, my Fe seems to be strong, but then my Ti seems to be very weak, and I feel like I'm much more Te.

You might also notice from reading my posts that I have a poor relationship with my Ti. Maybe that is indicative of such, and not an absence of Ti/ better relationship with Te?

Ah, I see what you mean. Perhaps you're an INXJ.

-Duxwing

 

[The Introvert]

Ah, I see what you mean. Perhaps you're an INXJ.

-Duxwing

In terms of notation, does that imply:

- both T and F (as in splitting the function)

- either T or F

If the former, I didn't know that was possible

 

[Duxwing]

In terms of notation, does that imply:

- both T and F (as in splitting the function)

- either T or F

If the former, I didn't know that was possible

The former is most certainly possible: some people will, by the laws of probability, not be so far to the extreme on their function preferences. You could just be very well balanced between Te and Fe, but prefer Ni over Se.

-Duxwing

 

[Ziast]

I learned early to pay attention to body language when trying to figure out what one was thinking, primarily because I work with horses and they obviously can't talk. It just transferred over to people, but I still don't really understand emotions, only their outward signs. So I'd say my Fe is very low and I get by using my T or N.

 

[Polaris]

I have been able to understand emotions, just not quite understood why people use their emotions to manipulate others. If you understand something rationally, you should be able to detach yourself. Should. This was my attitude for many years, and hence, I was having a lot of trouble dealing with people in my work as a health practitioner. Just think House, although House seems to let himself be carried away with his negative emotions in the way he lashes out with his sarcastic comments, so I don't entirely believe he is an NT, perhaps just a bitter INFJ.

The difference was that I didn't act on my reflections and resulting negative emotions, I let all that just build up into this mountain of frustration. I followed the recipe for how one should relate and treat people, in other words; I pretended to be more like an ENFJ-type. This was draining to say the least, juggling the Ti/Fe as if Fe was the main driver.

I have since given up the idea of being in a care-position as it was too taxing, and only challenging in a negative way, that is non-intellectual and emotionally draining.

What it taught me was that it is possible to act out of your "type" in situations where it is required/necessary, although I would not recommend doing this too often. Personally, I think a more developed Fe only results from increased life experience; as you encounter more challenges and learn to know Thyself, you are also more inclined to relate to other people.

Doing something which is more true to what I am interested in has helped to release more positive emotional energy, which actually has resulted in better connections with other people. Because I'm not emotionally draining myself daily with other people's problems, I now have more energy and will to care for other people. Thus, my Fe is allowed to flourish more now than before.

 

[ShameFace]

What it taught me was that it is possible to act out of your "type" in situations where it is required/necessary, although I would not recommend doing this too often. Personally, I think a more developed Fe only results from increased life experience; as you encounter more challenges and learn to know Thyself, you are also more inclined to relate to other people.

This has been my experience as well.

I also attribute psychedelic drugs for showing me a greater connectedness to other people. The notion that we're all much more alike than we are different. We're experiencing the same world although subjectively based on a few key variables.
This allows me to use my own objective/analytical nature as well as my own life experiences to try and empathize with others. Knowing that, had I experienced the world, just as they had up to that point and with their own innate disposition and temperament, I would most likely be acting in exactly the same way they are.
It's easy to say 'well, I'd never do something like that" and allow your pride and ego stand in the way of having true empathy for another human being.

 

[crippli]

I have been practicing lately. I think I got better, but it's a problem area for sure. Go one on one. It's better if one learn more about the person, like profiling. Here is a fragment from a mail of a friend of mine. Long time friend, from Mex, I think she hates english, my long long time friends GF. They broke up. She was feeling down, and wanted to talk, apparently. I decided to give it a go, and see if I could make her feel better. I feel quite successful this time, with this one, but maybe because she knows me. Just anonymous people have not gone well. Men in particular, Maybe I haven't studied them enough.

I like it, if one succeed. And they become happy. But it all depends on that she don't guard her self to much. I think she resembles enfp. This is one of 80 posts, I can't believe I've spent the whole week doing this.

We where random posting, I was testing out ideas, then I got this, and it didn't seem right, odd ideas really. And turned out they had broken up.

Spoiler

This is the latest. I have replied that I think she is good, so time to sober up, and get back to normal. She will be looking for a GF now, apparently. As was my findings. In any case, it was interesting and educational. I asked if I could use some of it for educational purposes. Messy, but I sorted it out. There are distinct differences between this post, and the one above, on life and stuff in general.

Spoiler

BF next then.

 

[Philovitist]

I study psychology as my passion. Intellectualizing feelings makes for a good transition to full-on empathic intelligence.