Interesting thread I found...
As an ENTP I have finally discovered emotional pain. I the past week I became a train wreck, and things just get fucked up even more.
I had some self realization that I apparently wasn't invited to and my body and mind decided to fuck with me.
I wake up whenever the hell I feel like it, when there is school I wake up at 7:30, alarm is set to 7:00 but fuck that I just keep pushing the button. Take a shower, I don't need coffee or any caffeine to wake me up, guess that is an ENTP thing.
Go to school, if there is no school I just fuck off the entire day. At school I spend my time reading in the library since during the morning all no one entertaining is at school. I have read through 3 physics books and countless philosophy books this semester.
I daydream in class, never study, I get A+ grades on all my tests and papers except biology which I really don't like. Get B+ on it because I just don't fucking care. I am seriously contemplating not buying books for the next semester because it seems like a waste of money.
I drive home, when it is warm I work on my car, it is my only escape from my normal functioning. If it is cold I am fucking lost, like right now. I spend my time on the internet or playing a video game I don't care about.
I used to write all the time, haven't done that in two years since a horrible relationship with a girl I thought I felt love for, but it wasn't anything like that I found out. I lost all artistic ability then. I want to write everyday but all I can come up with is robotic scientific observations.
I did attend a 4 year college when I got out of high school, but soon discovered I was to poor to afford it, so now I am in a crappy 2 year I am wanting to get out of in the summer. My entire life my family has been poor, my dad broke his back when I was around 1 year old falling from something while working as an iron worker building sky scrapers. He is now a chemist, or was until the coal business declined so we are even more poor than before.
I somehow missed all of pop-culture. I always miss references to movies or songs from childhood, they didn't exist for me because we didn't have a television or radio.
I consider my self the king of bullshitting, which I think is also another ENTP thing. I always procrastinate everything, I spend 15 minutes typing a 6 page paper and get the best grade in the class. I never remember anything I type, it is like I was never there while it happened. So I wont remember this either.
I should be asleep right now but I haven't sleep in 2-3 days now. I sleep about 2 hours a day. I am not really tired. I eat about a hand full of food daily, it doesn't bother me, I am not hungry. I drink orange juice and decaf tea all day.
I hate the country I am in right now, I filled out a form for a criminal background check today, or yesterday, to buy my brother a rifle and it asked if I have ever denounced my citizen ship, I wanted to check yes because I don't feel like a citizen.
I don't think about committing suicide, I intend on living forever. I just don't want to be lonely. I don't do substance, no alcohol, or drugs, I don't use any tobacco products either. I hate the way substance effects my body's functions.
I used to find comfort in music, but it doesn't help anymore. When I do prefer it, I listen to a combination of Iron Maiden, Modest Mouse and Radiohead. Sometimes something different, but usually those 3.
I like the number 3, I always try to sit at the third chair in a row.
In my family I am the one solving everyone's problems, but I can't even understand my own. I achieve anything as long as someone tells me it is impossible. That is why I believe I will live forever unless someone shoots me.
As most know from reading some of my posts, I have some fucked up theories about everything. I am a skeptic about everything, I don't believe in anything. At the same time I accept things. I denounced the gods, I don't need them. I don't need religion to be a good person, some people do, not me. I am thinking about making my own religion.
I also want to take over the world, but that will take some time. I feel like a lunatic. I am constantly told how great and smart I am, I don't really feel that way. I am misanthropic and nihilist. I am very capable at anything, I will out do anyone on anything I care about. I am very fond of competition, as long as it is a game to be played. If you fuck with my emotions I destroy you. You can ask countless victims in high school. I was the lone guy standing up for the weaker introverts in school. Bulling just didn't happen after a couple years. In grade school, I kicked a kids ass for picking on a smaller kid, I was half his size.
At age 6 I was about 2 feet maybe, shortest kid in the class, and had my first fight with a kid twice my height, he tried bullying me, I out smarted him and ran to a defensive position on a play ground contraption, waited for him on the thing, as he approached I ended it with one swift kick to his face, broke his nose and he had to be taken to the nurse I think. He never talked to me again.
I never had a physical fight ever again. I manipulated the children into factions and sent them on one another, watching how they reacted to stimulus, also created a small war depicting the things I saw in history books. It was really just a bunch of kids fighting. I was prohibited from ever going to the play ground again for about 2 years. So I became introverted, I was forced to write papers, think they called it a 'theme' were I had to write the same thing over and over again, I became a professional at it.
I bought Fable 3 today, but I don't even care enough to play it. I have almost given up on trying to help the human race, it bothers me people just don't care. I try to help people, but they always make me out as the bad guy, I have never been wrong with any of my predictions. I used to think I could feel the universe or see the future back when I actually believed in the gods, now I realize I wasn't doing that, I was just using an over active Ne.
I sometimes hope I am wrong in the religion department so I can tell Yahweh how I feel about his little fuck up. The gods of religion seem to be the most narcissistic things in existence.
There is no good or evil, there is no anything. I am going to go back to sleep now since I think this has helped me. Thanks to whoever started this thread.
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