Well, my own issues, which seem to be your example, are not as simple as weighing the good and bad.
As a matter of fact my issues are likely deeply rooted in my relationship with my mother and having a learning disorder and difficulties at school at an early age. It just so happens one does not go a life-time living with scars of abnormality, "friendlessness", pseudo-deafness and difficulties in social environments, feeling pointless, useless and stupid and simply say "Here's the bad and here's the good". Sure, I know I have good qualities, but also a lot of complex emotional issues that are like knots and are probably best handled by people I can come into real physical contact with and who can help me work through my issues.
That or I have to let time and understanding of myself help unravel them. Which I feel it somewhat has with MBTI, but I still have trouble seeing where I fit in and what use I am. Aside from everything else I was conditioned to be social and kind. My mother is an ESTP. There's only so much sensing types can really see and understand. Now that I understand it better and figured out the differences I hold less resentment. Still certain conditioning has stuck and situations that I feel haven't been completely resolve. I'm not always good at expressing myself either.
I know everyone has their problems. I suppose mine stick out because I lack an inflated ego. I resolve to being more of the seconding guessing, sad type of person (specifically here since I'm testing the waters around, apparently, the most ultimately intelligent, super people in the universe, only rivaled by INTJs "the masterminds") I'm still unsure that I am an INTP or that I'll fit in here (even if I am an INTP)... I'm pretty certain I've never been extraordinarily intelligent or intellectual. My environment made me want to refrain from particularly expressing my opinion.
I'm not particularly thrilled that I am part of your example or that you feel you have any authority to advice people how to approach their issues.
Basically: Your Approach is Simplistic and I'm Offended.
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Your approach is crude and makes me feel more defensive.
In dealing with emotional problems and showing
sympathy you communicate issues and the emotional reaction that the person appeared to have to them. In traditional sympathy this includes relating to the other person by recalling your own issues and finding a place of understanding with them.
In the case of
empathy the person giving it simple acknowledges what another person says.
Er this is all from my Basic Human Potential class... I hope I'm recalling it right. The Sympathy exercise we addressed specific issues with the pain they seemed to have and in this case I believe the person could correct the feeling. In the empathy exercise (which came before the sympathy) people only stated back to the person what they'd said.
What you did appears to be "You have problem. I will fix you. This is how you're suppose to do it." You're basically like every person, including my mother, who has failed to help me, because you're trying to fix.
If you're talking about grok as in sympathy and empathy you haven't accomplished your goal. It is never Sympathy or Empathy or helpful to try to FIX someone. Sympathy and empathy are tools used to help people trust other people and therefore making a safety net. My teacher was avid that after we began the class and the trust was formed in the class, no one else could join. Because the feeling of safety with our peers was the first step in the process.
If people don't trust you or feel like you understand them or sympathize with them they will get defensive when you try to fix them. Also if people don't feel like they're in a safe environment or are always on the look out for attacks they won't ever reveal their real selves.
