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Decision

Fallenman

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Are you indecisive? Or do you know what you want? As recently as this past week I've began to change my perspective on things. I had been musing on this subject for the past year but only recently have I decided to change it entirely.

I'm growing tired of catering to other people. I'm starting to be decisive in ways that somewhat startle me.

My question... are you decisive? (my intuition is we are naturally indecisive).

Do we grow more decisive as we get older?

Is it a coming of age thing that we begin to know what we want and we stop beating around that proverbial bush?

Any thoughts whatsoever?
 
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I am far more decisive than I used to be.

For one thing, I have spent a long time (many years) building frameworks of knowledge around esp. politics/ethics of interest to me and have come to a point where I am no longer as interested as I once was. I will never be truly happy that I am 100% right, but I am happy enough to take a position and filter ideas through those frameworks.

If that makes any sense to anyone but me.

I also got tired of arguing with people who are so satisfied with their ideas, even when it is obvious to me there are some flaws in the idea...meanwhile they view my 'indesiciveness' as weakness they can prey upon, so I conciously began to put on a more decisive face.

Smaller decisions I have a fall-back position usually now. For example, things like ordering at restaurants. I'll have a look at the menu, but if nothing strikes me in a reasonable amount of time, if people are waiting for me, I'll order veal scollopine.

So, I think, through age, pressure and strategies, I am far more decisive.

That said, i still 'suffer' from indecisiveness in many areas.
 

astroninja

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I think the indecisiveness experienced by most INTPs stems from an inherent insecurity towards making a 'mistake' - either from not dialectically thinking through all the possible outcomes to their logical conclusions, or from fear of being too impulsive and emotionally-driven in our decisions. Most times, we fear that making such a mistake might eventually lead to feelings of regret - and regret is perhaps one of the things that irks the INTP the most, simply because it seems almost like a blemish to our well-guarded self-esteem, intellect, and sagacity.

One thing that has helped me overcome this dilemma (somewhat - I still retreat back into it many times) is consciously and constantly telling myself that 'regret', in its most common conception, stems purely from human vaingloriousness and egoism - and nothing more. To regret something is to knowingly ascribe to the belief that if only we had a second chance to do something, we would do it differently to fix it! Yet, actually fixing a mistake would of course mean that we'd have to be time-travelers of the mind, in true Cartesian fashion; someone who is able to transpose our future conscious selves (the selves which has become aware of the outcome of a 'mistake') into our past conscious selves (the self which was faced with a decision to make), and attaining the ability to hold the reigns to our physical selves to enact on the 'right' decision - all this to be done simply to avoid experiencing that horrendous feeling of regret!

This is of course quite ridiculous, and needless to say, impossible. And like every good INTP out there who is forced to accept a logical impossibility, the best thing to do is to not waste our time on such things. So, to answer your question, if indecisiveness is caused by a fear of regret, and regret in itself stems from an obsession with wanting to change the past, and if the ability to change the past is impossible.... then all we are left with is simply learning to go with the flow, accept the consequences, adapt, and roll with the future punches that life might bring us. This should not prevent us from engaging with each decision with an as-precise-as-possible evaluation of the situation, but it will save us a lot of superfluous deliberation since we have already recognized the absurdity of regret. It definitely helps one to come to a decision faster.
 

Zionoxis

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It depends on the situation. In a social setting, I am decisive in the sense that I just go with whatever works. I do not put much weight into my decisions as they are easier. When looking at a menu, I just grab whatever is cheapest and will taste good. I try not to worry about the 'best'.

As for open-ended questions..well...I get a giant brain block and cannot come to a proper conclusion. If asked if I could be any animal, which....or anything along those lines. I hate those types of questions. :mad:

For me, I would say that I seldom am indecisive, but I do have my moments.
 

alrai

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Its not worse or better, it's just a decision that will lead to other choices, I'm not afraid of confronting the consequences, as all options are weighed up, and even if I've chosen the wrong path, its always possible to adjust the course.

I'm don't really hold too much faith in hope neither, its probably more misleading than benificial, so in that sense, I do have a readiness for the unpredictable, in fact, many emotions I still consider as unnecessary, although they must be understood, for the start point to the correct approach arises from first analysing the internal system, before dealing with externalities.

I'm don't try to impress anyone with my decisions, they will be treated with respect if have received it from them, or vice versa. To be dependent on a decision doesn't allow for
flexibilty, the built in indeciveness supports accepting mutiple decision as all possible. My reflection on decision structure a model for those possibilities, although the probability of each is distinctive, they are all accepted as a possibilty.

Perception on decision are generally subjective, the truth is there is only 1 intense reality, and we shape it accordingly. I've read through your post(s), and i don't really see anything out of the ordinary, your indeciveness is typical of the INTP.
 
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