Grayman
Soul Shade
This is a bit different than discussion how you lie. This is determining the difference between a lie and deception.
Also, when is deception necessary, acceptable by social standards, and how do we deal with the guilt of our misdirection?
Everyone deceives but uses methods to make themselves feel less guilty about their deceptions. Omission is a deception but a person feels less guilty because they can deny any actual literal lie being said, but they are still deceiving. Using facts that are meant to lead a person into thinking the wrong thing is also deception even though you are literally stating the truth. The most successful deceptions are built around the truth and many of the facts are verifiable but you miss out on many of the important details.
If my wife asks if I like the dress she already bought I say " You make the dress look good." It is a fact even though the dress looks horrible. She does not get from that statement that I don't like the dress. If anything she feels good and confident about herself.
The thing is that it would have felt somehow wrong if I said the dress looked good even though it did not. I was okay deceiving her but not stating a literal lie. What does this mean? I find myself reevaluating my values. If it is okay to deceive should it not also be okay to state a blatant lie? It all comes down to the idea that social requirements force me to lie/deceive but I want to minimize my transgressions as much as possible but I effectively deceived myself into thinking I did not really lie....
Whenever the the idea of lying enters my mind I cannot help be fear the ramifications of a lie, the eventual loss of others taking you seriously and trusting you. This is not really a moral issue for me except to idea that the road of lying ends with heavy ramifications. This belief in ingrained deep in me. Even promises are hard for me to give. The idea of not being able to keep it forces me to keep from accepting responsibility. If my wife asks me if I can pick something up from the store, I go through my head and ensure that nothing will keep me from teh task before saying yes and then I will still leave an out like, 'unless I have to work later than usual'. She says "You never have to work late." I say "I know but just incase.".
Also, when is deception necessary, acceptable by social standards, and how do we deal with the guilt of our misdirection?
Everyone deceives but uses methods to make themselves feel less guilty about their deceptions. Omission is a deception but a person feels less guilty because they can deny any actual literal lie being said, but they are still deceiving. Using facts that are meant to lead a person into thinking the wrong thing is also deception even though you are literally stating the truth. The most successful deceptions are built around the truth and many of the facts are verifiable but you miss out on many of the important details.
If my wife asks if I like the dress she already bought I say " You make the dress look good." It is a fact even though the dress looks horrible. She does not get from that statement that I don't like the dress. If anything she feels good and confident about herself.
The thing is that it would have felt somehow wrong if I said the dress looked good even though it did not. I was okay deceiving her but not stating a literal lie. What does this mean? I find myself reevaluating my values. If it is okay to deceive should it not also be okay to state a blatant lie? It all comes down to the idea that social requirements force me to lie/deceive but I want to minimize my transgressions as much as possible but I effectively deceived myself into thinking I did not really lie....
Whenever the the idea of lying enters my mind I cannot help be fear the ramifications of a lie, the eventual loss of others taking you seriously and trusting you. This is not really a moral issue for me except to idea that the road of lying ends with heavy ramifications. This belief in ingrained deep in me. Even promises are hard for me to give. The idea of not being able to keep it forces me to keep from accepting responsibility. If my wife asks me if I can pick something up from the store, I go through my head and ensure that nothing will keep me from teh task before saying yes and then I will still leave an out like, 'unless I have to work later than usual'. She says "You never have to work late." I say "I know but just incase.".