Content depression

[Selkon]

Do other INTPs find that despite their 'dark' thoughts they remain entirely content with their state of mind? I find that I enjoy the depth of emotion that I experience when I am depressed, and thus I am not truly depressed because I am enjoying the feeling. "Happy to be sad" seems rather paradoxical. I think it has much to do with the ability to detach from emotion, though it is really only Ti suppression of Fe. It may also be that because of the suppression I become emotionally 'starved' and thus require something to fill that void. Thoughts? Comments? Personal insults?

 

[Grayman]

Do other INTPs find that despite their 'dark' thoughts they remain entirely content with their state of mind? I find that I enjoy the depth of emotion that I experience when I am depressed, and thus I am not truly depressed because I am enjoying the feeling. "Happy to be sad" seems rather paradoxical. I think it has much to do with the ability to detach from emotion, though it is really only Ti suppression of Fe. It may also be that because of the suppression I become emotionally 'starved' and thus require something to fill that void. Thoughts? Comments? Personal insults?

Why not just spend the time enjoying the happiness emotions instead of the depressive?

For me, the lack of emotion and excessive Ti was the cause of the depressive state and the depression was a void of emotion and meaninglessness of everything not time for me to feel. Normally it was solved by extraverting a little.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I am frequently this way, Selkon.

 

[pjoa09]

All the time.

I take pride in what depresses me. Makes me feel unique and powerful.

 

[Steven Gerrard]

Dig

 

[The Void]

YES! You Know the way of the VOID MASTER! Congratulations.
I had noticed that depression is more like a black hole, (impure and imperfect void) that needs to suck things into it, needs to fill it.
The pure void is devoid of urges, and thus calm and peaceful.
(ever noticed how dead people (not the zombie ones) are so calm and peaceful Hail the void!)

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Completeness, when I am depressed I often lie down and watch the clouds, this is a pleasant feeling of completeness and needlessness

 

[WoLong]

I definitely find depression preferable to anhedonia. It feels comparatively meaningful.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

I think we are using the wrong term for what you described.
Real depression usually is taking a really heavy toll on your physical and mental capabilities to the point where you are literally starting to feel sick.
Thus, what you described is not a case of depression.
Maybe it's more precise to call it negativism, fatalism, or something along those lines.

 

[Cognisant]

It dosen't last, sooner or later you go numb and then you don't get depressed anymore, it just hurts and you can't conceptualise it away anymore.

Can't lie to yourself when you know you're lying.

 

[Helvete]

I 'enjoy' feeling this way when alone, but around other people, no. Otherwise any mood is fine with me

 

[Reluctantly]

I used to get depressed about my morbidity because people usually find it crazy or really strange. But I like it, it's just what I am and what I'm interested in. I like Hell, but I'm not evil. It's much more interesting than everything else that goes on in my life. I need some kind of thrill and maybe a Hellish world provides that. So it's really only when I don't get accepted for it, that it will make me a little depressed at times - that feeling of being completely separate from other people can be very uneasy.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I think we are using the wrong term for what you described.
Real depression usually is taking a really heavy toll on your physical and mental capabilities to the point where you are literally starting to feel sick.
Thus, what you described is not a case of depression.
Maybe it's more precise to call it negativism, fatalism, or something along those lines.

I don't know what you are refering to but yes, people do tend to understand depression in different ways.

For example when I lie down and experience needlessness it is very similar to death, not feeling anything when you want to live is torment similarly to feeling pain, I've come to accept this temporary reduction of my abilities as another form of dependency on my organism.

 

[Selkon]

Why not just spend the time enjoying the happiness emotions instead of the depressive?

Sad states of mind are easier to achieve for me. That is why. The path of least resistance is the most likely.

I think we are using the wrong term for what you described.
Real depression usually is taking a really heavy toll on your physical and mental capabilities to the point where you are literally starting to feel sick.
Thus, what you described is not a case of depression.
Maybe it's more precise to call it negativism, fatalism, or something along those lines.

And yes, differences in terminology will always exist. I am not referring to clinical, debilitating depression. It's simple sadness, which is a less specific emotion.

 

[Pizzabeak]

It's interesting to note the contrast between that embraced dark state and moments when all seems right and peaceful, sometimes when out in public it can be noticed when life and different people are observed. It makes you remember previous moments in which the opposite way was felt . I believe I don't seek either state, but it's noticeable whenever something is slightly different.

 

[QuickTwist]

In my life I have been so sick of being sad that I look to feel any emotion that is not depression. Hence my mania. It truly is an invigorating experience for those who want a to sense and emotion but don't care for being sad all the time. I have found that life becomes so dull at times that I can actually control what emotion I experienced. The ones I enjoy most are linked to excitement and obsession.

 

[Goku]

Do other INTPs find that despite their 'dark' thoughts they remain entirely content with their state of mind? I find that I enjoy the depth of emotion that I experience when I am depressed, and thus I am not truly depressed because I am enjoying the feeling. "Happy to be sad" seems rather paradoxical. I think it has much to do with the ability to detach from emotion, though it is really only Ti suppression of Fe. It may also be that because of the suppression I become emotionally 'starved' and thus require something to fill that void. Thoughts? Comments? Personal insults?

Mental Stockholm syndrome. Similar to how one develops positive feelings for his/her captor, one can rationalize his mental situation for survival purposes.

Regarding poker, I used to convince myself that "I love losing," to help me deal with losing. In actuality I hated losing. However, I'd say things like "that was an expensive lesson" to make myself believe that I had gained instead of lost from the experience.


p.s. you may realize how shitty depression is after you've come out of it and see it in hindsight. After you've endured depression for awhile, it could feel 'normal' because you've forgotten how it feels to be happy.

 

[Amagi82]

My advice: surround yourself with people who are each better than you in some way, and learn from that. Incorporate all their skills into your own self-improvement, and make it your goal in life to become the best human you can possibly become. Then work to give back to the world.

I was often depressed when I was young, but sooner or later you have to find a purpose for your life- a set of goals or interests that you'd like to pursue which are more powerful than the internal feelings of dismay holding you back.