Constant Sense of "I should be.."

[MEDICaustik]

Do you guys have a constant sense in your gut of "I should be doing this.."?

I feel like almost all the time, everyday, I'm under constant stress of "You should be studying this," "you should be reading that," "you should be doing this," etc.

Like it's never enough.

Recently, it's been my complete lack of organization. Every once in awhile I will make a heroic attempt at organizing my life. I've tried the getting things done methodology, among several others, but I always end up dropping out.

And I know I can operate fine without mass organizing. I can remember almost anything.

Do any of you guys use organization methods for anything? ie. Bills, Finances

I can not keep track of my finances, and I'm really trying to save money, but I'm terrible at it.

And, I always feel like I need to work on something. Unfortunately I work as an IT Systems Admin, and my job is incredibly repetitive and boring, and I have to deal with people. So my frustration builds and builds and I have to find an outlet.. which generally means a project of some kind.. and I'm massively frustrated right now..

Rambling /over.

 

[MEDICaustik]

I'll respond to my own thread to provide some clarity (what an INTP thing to do).

I wrote this while I was working late, against my will, doing something I disliked and feeling an immense need to get away.

I get this really "gut-dropping" feeling when I get overwhelmed with frustration. And I get this massive desire to do something productive, creative or important.

I spent all day around people, talking to them about inane things that mean nothing to me, sometimes forcing behavior (which I've gotten really good at) that is normal in a business environment. And the charade takes it's toll.

I had to get something out.

But the original point of the thread, is that I almost always feel like there is something I should be doing that is more important. And it goes to absurd lengths. It weighs HEAVILY on my mind. And it influences everything I do. I often start to think about a random career field, and at first I think "Oh, that sounds like it would be fun." but I'm almost immediately overcome with a *lack of importance* feeling about that career.

For example: Recently flew on an airplane. I love being in the air. Always have. And I wanted to be a pilot as a kid. As we're flying, I start to think "I could do this for a career.." and within seconds, I get a big nagging that says "No, it isn't important enough."

I bet that sounds pretentious or pompous, but I have this drive to put my talents into something worthwhile to me, and that is completely overwhelming at times. Makes it very difficult to relax at times.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

You seem high strung.

I would say take some time get away from everything and clear your psychological head space. De-mobilize yourself and relax for awhile.


Do you have any idea of what you'd like to be doing in terms of a career, interest or hobby(besides pilot)?

You do mention productive and important...I think you would benefit a lot from a position where your competence directly helps others which would allow you to directly feel the importance of your actions and you would receive their appreciation on a personal level.

As for your finances and whatnot. Try taking a minimalist approach and you could get someone to help you manage that area.

 

[Roboman]

Always. I could make an endless list...or probably not since I detest lists like the plague.

For the fiances I found a nice solution, it actually works. Add restrictions on yourself. Open a new savings account which is locked, one that requires some effort to transfer money out of, like having to go physically to the bank. It will be like "I should go to the bank......" and we all know how that ends.

 

[MissQuote]

My recent "heroic attempts" at organizing my life included throwing out close to half of everything we own- and I mean in a whole house, no just bedroom.

Trying to force myself to keep on with the project of organizing everything that is left now.

 

[MEDICaustik]

You seem high strung.

I would say take some time get away from everything and clear your psychological head space. De-mobilize yourself and relax for awhile.


Do you have any idea of what you'd like to be doing in terms of a career, interest or hobby(besides pilot)?

You do mention productive and important...I think you would benefit a lot from a position where your competence directly helps others which would allow you to directly feel the importance of your actions and you would receive their appreciation on a personal level.

As for your finances and whatnot. Try taking a minimalist approach and you could get someone to help you manage that area.

I guess I come off as high strung, especially today. I was definitely high strung today. In general though, I'm very laid back. Just being pent up in an office building when it was ridiculously nice outside.. was destroying me. I have been developing this philosophy for years that causes me to despise everything about the corporate world, yet I am forced to participate in it to pay the bills. It eats me up inside.

I'm also a paramedic, and a firefighter, so those are excellent outlets of my frustration with work.

As far as career goes, I know I need to get back into school. I want to pursue some kind of science. I want what every INTP wants apparently; a job where I get to focus on one thing and figure out all it's mysteries, then pass it on and take on a new project. I've been considering med school as well. I enjoy being a paramedic, and I have a lot of interest in medicine. And I seem apt at it.

I tend to despise my current job, except for the days when I get to work on one particular thing and focus on fixing it. Right now, I'm basically a helpdesk technician, and I hate taking phone calls and dealing with minutia. I'm happiest (as I suppose most of us are) being left alone with a puzzle, and returning with it completed. With minimal outside interruption.

Wow.. this really does show me how much I resent my job.

My recent "heroic attempts" at organizing my life included throwing out close to half of everything we own- and I mean in a whole house, no just bedroom.

Trying to force myself to keep on with the project of organizing everything that is left now.

Oh I LOVE the bi-annual toss out festival.

I LOVE to throw out all the crap. I enjoy it immensely. Decluttering, a favorite pasttime. Clothes especially. Nothing like taking half the closet to Goodwill.

Always. I could make an endless list...or probably not since I detest lists like the plague.

For the fiances I found a nice solution, it actually works. Add restrictions on yourself. Open a new savings account which is locked, one that requires some effort to transfer money out of, like having to go physically to the bank. It will be like "I should go to the bank......" and we all know how that ends.

It took me three days to deposit my roommates' rent checks. My bank is 5 minutes away.



Do any of you guys also experience a total loss of willpower when somebody nags you to do something?

I wanted to come home and clean my house and do the dishes tonight. Then my roommate came and asked me to help him clean the house and do the dishes. And suddenly I was absolutely against the idea. To the point of making an excuse not to help. What is that?!

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I wanted to come home and clean my house and do the dishes tonight. Then my roommate came and asked me to help him clean the house and do the dishes. And suddenly I was absolutely against the idea. To the point of making an excuse not to help. What is that?!

Haha. All the time.

 

[Affinity]

There are 2 apps that I adore, one of them being Clear (To-do list on the iPhone) and the other being Mint.com (personal finance app). Doesn't stop the procrastination but they definitely help me remember things and stay organized.

 

[Roran]

I always feel like I should be better, but that is either because I basically don't have self confidence (my only skill is my intelligence, which has essentially devalued itself) or because I actually need to be better.

I tire of these constant dichotomies.

 

[Exolution]

Mint is great. I also let my bills pile up, around my laptop. When they become a nuisance, which is usually around once or twice a month, I go through em all and knock out what I can. Usually the big 3, mortgage, electric and insurance. Ive found that most of the others are pretty forgiving for some chronic lateness. Just be prepared to pay some fees. AND KEEP A BOOK. where you simply write each bill you paid, and the date you paid what. once the list has got an amount beside each bill, you're done. I dont remember the last time I completed a whole list though, so this may not be a great method. It only requires an hour or so each month though.

 

[Peripheral Visionary]

I should be...

finishing my symphony

finding a cure for cancer

mentoring a wayward teenager

learning Spanish

writing the great American novel

... but instead I'm posting here.

 

[KMaki]

Do any of you guys use organization methods for anything? ie. Bills, Finances

ESFJ Wife. Hardcore, I know, but works like a charm. As it happens, she is also the embodiment of the "you should be..." sense. (and I love her )

 

[Vrecknidj]

I have frequently found myself "buried under the weight of a thousand shoulds." But, I do my best to avoid putting myself there.

I have no quick fixes for the INTPs' weaknesses. My own situation with finances is a scattered mess, but one which I'd prefer not to leave in someone else's hands. My own situation with employment is that I am doing the best I can in an economy that sucks (I live in Michigan, and we've been at the bottom of the American economy, more or less, for about 10 years now).

At least you seem to have good paying work. That's worth a lot. Trust me, bankruptcy and financial loss are a helluva lot more stressful than being bored at work.

Dave

 

[introverted_thinker]

Happening right now. I should be revising.

 

[Yet]

yep, very recognizable ... and most of the time true. It is incredible how much time I just spend pratting around. And end up having stress about why I just prat around when there is so much to do!
But I seem to get things done eventually. Most of the time when deadlines doom.

 

[HDINTP]

I used to hava this problem but then i just don't care too much anymore. Everytime i tried to organize my day i ended up absolutely different. When i have to do something and start it i don't stop until i am finished but it have to be in last minute otherwise i stop...

 

[gruesomebrat]

I should be...

finishing my symphony

finding a cure for cancer

mentoring a wayward teenager

learning Spanish

writing the great American novel

... but instead I'm posting here.

Stolen as my Facebook status for the day. If Visionary doesn't object too strenuously... or even if he does.


@OP, I don't have too much trouble with "You should be doing this, that or the other" regarding everyday chores and errands; I seem to fall victim more to the sort of thinking embodied by Visionary's reply above. "I should be making a difference in the world" type of stuff. Although, I do occasionally run into the worry that my procrastination regarding errands is something that needs to be addressed... usually for about 10 minutes after someone else mentions that my procrastination needs to be addressed. Otherwise, I don't even think about it much.

 

[Auburn]

ESFJ Wife. Hardcore, I know, but works like a charm. As it happens, she is also the embodiment of the "you should be..." sense. (and I love her )

I like this.
I'd be curious to learn more about that pairing.
I am debating whether or not it might be one of the most ideal matchups.

 

[teeandcee]

I've been actively working on that internal nagging for the past few months by talking rationally to myself. There are some things I should be doing, but most of the time I suspect it's the fact that I was raised by an ISFJ mother then married an ISFJ man as the reason why those "shoulds" make so much noise inside my head. I'm brainwashed. Both my ISFJ's live their lives by their Shoulds and expect others to also. I've grown suspicious neither is satisfied unless they're fulfilling some kind of internal list of Shoulds or at the very least feeling guilty about not fulfilling them as much as, well, they should, hehe.

 

[KMaki]

I like this.
I'd be curious to learn more about that pairing.
I am debating whether or not it might be one of the most ideal matchups.

Some problems with that:
1) Not sure of my type
2) Not sure of her type
3) Not sure if should be sharing info

But setting these trivialities aside, our day-to-day dynamics work more or less so that she is quite happy to be in charge of the mundane, and I'm quite happy that she is in charge of the mundane. The cost is that there is not much discussions above the mundane. But it's something I've got used to, and does not bother me that much.

All in all, I'm quite happy. She keeps me anchored to the real world. I'm sure she's getting something out of me too. I can make her laugh, at least. (She also knows what strings to pull to make me laugh). Maybe she enjoys the simple fact that she can take care of us all, and be the head mistress of our family. I also seem to be more rigid when it comes to moral questions. She's more 'flexible', if you will, with issues where the shades of gray between my 'right' and 'wrong' seem tempting. I'm not sure she likes me being that rigid, though.

I can be very stubborn, and reluctant to accept radical suggestions or changes to routine. (I absolutely hate last minute changes to plans). But if something she suggests is really putting me off, I'm ready to say so, and my opinion is valued. I trust her capabilities in quick, down to earth solutions for daily tasks. As some comedian noted about his wife: "by god, the woman's always RIGHT".

It all boils down to giving credit for each other in being who we are, and doing what we do.

 

[scorpiomover]

Do you guys have a constant sense in your gut of "I should be doing this.."?

Yes. My Ti critiques myself regularly throughout the day, to check if I am doing "the perfect answer", aka "the right thing".

I feel like almost all the time, everyday, I'm under constant stress of "You should be studying this," "you should be reading that," "you should be doing this," etc.

Like it's never enough.

For Ti, everything is "never enough".

What helped me, was seeing a therapist, who pointed out that almost nothing in life is completely perfect, and by its negative corollary, almost everything in life is better than a complete failure. Made me realise that I was just being illogical and irrational for my Ti to even make the claim.

These days, it's more like: Could I be using the time productively at all?

If I am, could I be using the time MORE productively?

Am I pushing myself as fast as reasonable? I can only change so quickly. The quicker I change, the more the system has to change in any one moment, and the greater the strain on the system. Put enough strain on the system, and the system has to spend more time changing, than doing, and I actually do LESS, instead of more. So there has to be a balance to achieve optimal results, and normally, that's a SLOW and GRADUAL change, which at any time, is actually only a very small change for that time.

If I am asking as much as is reasonable of myself, then I tell Ti that anything more, will just break the machine, and to shut up and accept that the system cannot reasonably be improved for the time being.

Makes me feel MUCH more relaxed.