I like the Star Wars prequels better than the originals (don't blast me).
Ugh
Now I don't understand what all the hate is about.
I hope you have a few hours to spare.
Episode I
Episode II
Episode III
The originals and the prequels are not very different from one another.
This is wrong.
The superior CGI of the prequels inarguably does greater justice to the action sequences,
I'll agree, the action sequences are more beautifully done, thanks to CG. The biggest complaint with the CG has to do a lot with the non-action elements of the films (and the non-action CGI shit added to subsequent rereleases of the original trilogy, as well).
particularly the lightsaber battles, which are excruciatingly dull in the originals.*
This is wrong.
None of those battles are dull. Not even the awkward, bumbling duel between Obi-Wan and Vader in the original film.
Each lightsaber battle has a lot going on. Episode IV is the tense reunion of a teacher and his fallen student, ending in the teacher sacrificing himself -- denying the violence of their previous encounter. Episode V is about a young, headstrong warrior who learns the folly of his arrogance and the true danger of the world he's been thrust into. Episode VI (holy shit, in what possible world could you think the duel in this film is dull) is the culmination of Luke's journey and growth -- it's the point where Luke truly tastes the darkness within him. He comes so close to giving in but ultimately rejects the darkness, which in turn results in the redemption of one of the most interesting and evil characters in the trilogy. Fuck you if you think that shit's dull.
Episode I - "Ah fuck it, let's just have some dark jedi dude with no personality or relevance to the plot and we have to make it cool so, like, he can use a double bladed ightsaber and, y'know, they can do it in an incomprehensibly large room with no apparent purpose and let's make the jedi attack each other with robotic, over-choreographed, emotionless moves that drag on for an unnecessarily long time because we need filler for our 'climax'."
Episode II - "Oh fuck, our bad guy's been horribly introduced and hasn't actually done much that's undeniably 'evil.' Ah, fuck it, we'll just repeat the over-choreographed and, once again, emotionless and drawn out fight scenes from the last film. Oh wait, like, what if Yoda fought? Yeah, that's a great idea. Let's have the character whose entire existence is emblematic of the true power of the force despite physical limitation get into a
physical altercation. That doesn't sound like a dumb idea.
Episode III - Okay, so there is a bit more going on here, I'll give you that. But everything "going on" in this fight (ie. the teacher confronting his student at the culmination of his descent into darkness (ie. harming the one he loves)) is muddled by the emotionless fighting, the absurd setpieces of the fight, and all the other extraneous bullshit. Did we need the two of them to "accidentally" disable the environmental shields? Did they need to go outside? Did they need to run onto the pylon? Did it need to fall into the lava river? Did they need to climb it, fighting all the while? Did they need to do some George of the Jungle rope-swinging fighting? Did they need to stand on tiny floating objects and keep fighting with the same robotic movements that, let's be honest, we're not even watching anymore because of how useless they are? No. Anakin needed to give in by harming Padme. Obi-Wan and Anakin needed to fight. Anakin needed to lose a few limbs and also needed a reason to be stuck in the suit. These are the things we needed. These are the things that are poignant in this context. Everything else is mind-numbing.
...obviously choreographed moves, in Star Wars this actually makes sense. Jedi can see into the future, thereby predicting the moves their opponents will make before they ever make them -- so they do actually know just which way the saber will swing, etc., etc.]
This is wrong. They cannot see the future. Anakin's premonitions are anomalies. Yoda is 800 years old and also the most powerful jedi ever known, and his precognitave abilities are mentioned/implied to be quite limited. Luke achieves a very small vision and only while meditating. In combat there is not a single jedi with any level of precognitive power.
The inclusion of space politics in the prequels is an interesting choice. Many people dislike this move, but I think while perhaps the political content doesn't completely make sense, they were attempting to provide audiences with a broader understanding of the Star Wars universe as a whole.
I agree that the space politics were an interesting
choice. Incredibly poor execution, though. A decently large problem with this seems to be that the prequels were never sure if they wanted to be a sci-fi action/adventure film for young'uns, or a dark, gritty sci-fi film for adults. The problem is when you go from planet-hopping fight scenes to incredibly static shots of people talking about something vaguely political. Do you know what the Trade Federation's beef is in Episode I? What's their political reason to blockade Naboo? What treaty did they want the queen to sign? Etc.
Could've been interesting. Wasn't.
It's not like the story was much better in IV
Star Wars Episode IV is a perfect, shining example of Joseph Campbell's hero's journey and if you disagree I will physically challenge you to a duel.
, V, and VI (so the Rebellion just took out a Death Star and now your master plan is to build another one?) and that was before the fans went off and expanded the lore into something more adult/sophisticated, in the form of all the fiction. I think this expanded universe was what games like Knights of the Old Republic were based on?
I agree, involving a second Death Star was an admittedly poor choice. But Episode VI was where you can start to see them throwing ideas at the wall and keeping anything that stuck. (And by "stuck" I mean anything that works passably alright within the logic of the film and will also rake in that sweet, sweet merchandising money)
If you enjoy the prequels as big, dumb action flicks, then you have ever right to.
If you think they are quality films that rival (I shudder to say surpass) the original trilogy, then you are wrong and I will fight you. Put up your dukes.
*Begins prancing in a circle around ASD, waving fists in the air*
