Canadians are nice because Canadian geese are monsters

[AntaresVII]

I happened to be in a park with a flock of migrating Canadian geese the other day, and had this thought. Now, to be clear, all geese are monstrous, it's just that Canada, and thus Canadians, have greater exposure to geese, with population estimates putting the Canadian goose at around 4 million, or just over 10% of Canada's human population (~38M).
The United States, by contrast, has estimated populations for all geese at around 3.5 million, barely over 1% of the population (~330M).

It's obviously reasonable to state that the average Canadian is about 10 times nicer than the average American, and so the implication is clear: Geese leech hostility off of human hosts to feed their own natural rage.
— In case anyone is unaware, the malice of geese is well documented, with geese often being cited as better watchdogs than actual dogs, even to the extent of being used by the United States to guard Air Defence Command stations in Germany.

I also have some personal experience in the matter: As a younger lad, I lived next to an old woman who kept a sizeable assortment of animals, including one goose. For a time, there was a deal made whereby my family would feed her goats in exchange for their milk, and of course that meant contact with the demonic presence of that avian terror. There was not a time when our approach was not met with the fell horn of that goose's warcry, and a fearsome charge to shake the mettle of the most seasoned warrior.
Now, I don't believe I ever had the misfortune to face said eldritch horror when it was properly pissed off, and I found it easy enough to fend off by simply using a lengthy stick to divert it's noodly neck from brining it's chief weapon into contact with my vulnerable flesh. Nevertheless, I would not tempt fate by presuming that I should like to see the full extend of such fury as the beast is surely capable of.

I suppose this also poses a question for broader society: should we increase goose populations to combat human violence? It would seem that this is one parasitic relationship we could actually use, but it comes with a terrible price: more geese. Can we really afford to outsource our monstrosity to these savage creatures?
Perhaps it is better that we face darkness in each other, whom we can at least approach communication and understanding with, than to sentence ourselves to do battle by millions with these malefic ghouls of shadow and ire.

Such is our world, we must do what we can to survive.

 

[AntaresVII]

Is this a shitpost? — maybe

Am I grasping at anything I can express a definite opinion on, because I feel like I'm losing all sense of what's worth caring about? Fucking mAybe

 

[Old Things]

You had me in stitches! Wow, that was hilarious.

 

[birdsnestfern]

lol, I love Canadian geese, but at the same time, they ARE a little scarey. Example, I saw quite a few TORT payments going to people with terrible damage to their brand new trucks. What happens is, they might be on the roof of a building at night and for whatever reason, 30 geese ALL come down at once to attack and scratch the heck out of a beautiful new truck that is parked overnight. So, they can be little terrors. And, a whole family of geese regularly would cross the road and hold up traffic as they waddled slowly across the road. Most people loved to see and enjoyed waiting for the crossing. I used to share my Chinese noodles with them at lunch.

There is a sleepy but lovely town called Salamanca, NY that is Seneca-Iroquois owned town, where I stayed for a week. Its near Allegheny State Park. Nightly you would see and hear flocks of geese and I absolutely loved to hear them flying by. But if you are sensitive to the energy of "place", Salamanca had the most amazing energy, you could just feel really good, it felt like Shangrila almost. Leylines/grids of the earth, some places are super charged with that energy. I also felt it in Yosemite when I sat on granite.

This hotel was very nice, could leave windows open and hear all the nature all around.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_R...iews-White_Pine_Lodge-Salamanca_New_York.html

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I think that geese are the cutest avians besides penguins. Those guys have a strong and funny character that makes my day better whenever I see them. Everyone should have their personal goose. Most dumb people could use an encounter with an aggravated goose to learn their place in the universe.

I think they're objectively beautiful and definitely waaay prettier than swans. Swan's neck to body ratio is completely off, their beaks are wide shovels that look bluntly pedestrian really. A goose's neck is a sublime shape with just the right length and their beaks have a cute, elegant and measured form. Their plumage is varied and more interesting than the swan's too. The worlds fascination with swans shows how good taste is a rarity. Fucking swans, I say burn them for nuggets and feed them to the poor .

 

[Old Things]

Never had a problem with aggressive geese. When I go outside in the summer while they are just outside the sidewalk, they hiss at me sure, but they never really attack me or anything. They seem to be more scared of me than I am of them. However, there are people I know who are terrified of the geese and will not go by them at all. Apparently, they attack her, so she steers clear. Maybe it's because I don't show I am scared of them that all they do is hiss? Not sure.