Boredom

[nearfantastica]

Today I came to the realization that I am rarely bored...unless I'm around people. I could be by myself for hours, days, just browsing the internet, reading a book, watching a movie or lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, and I won't feel bored. But when you throw people into the equation, boredom is evident. Even doing the activities that generally entertain me when I'm alone become boring when others partake.

Don't get me wrong, some people are interesting and offer excellent conversation...but others... It's almost a shame that I crave social interaction now and then, aha. I often find myself believing that being an absolute loner would be more simple - and less boring! Nonetheless I'm quite aware that a life without relationships wouldn't be very rewarding. That's probably why my subconscious convinces me to start chatting all of my friends up and trying to make plans with them after a week or so of solitude. But I digress.

Can anyone relate with this selective boredom? Or do you perhaps have opinions to offer on the cause of this insanity?

 

[.........................]

Today I came to the realization that I am rarely bored...unless I'm around people. I could be by myself for hours, days, just browsing the internet, reading a book, watching a movie or lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, and I won't feel bored. But when you throw people into the equation, boredom is evident. Even doing the activities that generally entertain me when I'm alone become boring when others partake.

Don't get me wrong, some people are interesting and offer excellent conversation...but others... It's almost a shame that I crave social interaction now and then, aha. I often find myself believing that being an absolute loner would be more simple - and less boring! Nonetheless I'm quite aware that a life without relationships wouldn't be very rewarding. That's probably why my subconscious convinces me to start chatting all of my friends up and trying to make plans with them after a week or so of solitude. But I digress.

Can anyone relate with this selective boredom? Or do you perhaps have opinions to offer on the cause of this insanity?

I think I can relate, maybe.
I can easily get bored while I am on my own, however it is easier when I am around people that don't really stimulate my mind or get my attention. This boredom I experience on my own though is usually solved by reducing anything I am doing or experiencing down to a minimum and just breathing for a little while, and trying hard to think about nothing.

I completely understand how different types of people can reflect on your boredom. This happened to me for most of my life, I spent a long time around people that I didn't like (mirroring people in school to fit in) which resulted in a lot of boredom and dissatisfaction because I never really felt comfortable. I am the odd one out when it comes to my immediate family, I am the different one and only one member of my immediate family ever understands my personality and that is limited. Now after being bored for a relatively long time, and then actually meeting some people that I feel comfortable with and that can take what I say, help me explore it and I can do the same for them, these sort of beneficial relationships (I have very few of them) and getting to certain milestones in them can be one of the most satisfying feelings ever. I always find it very hard to believe but some people I know completely understand everything I do, sometimes an explanation is necessary but having someone who understands and goes through similar things as you can be very beneficial and satisfying.

I cannot be bothered typing more, I hope your life is fucking amazing.

 

[BigApplePi]

I was bored once. I didn't have anything to do so I didn't know what to do or how to do it. Then I found something to do but people and things would get in my way. Waiting around for that to pass got me bored. When it finally passed I got back to doing what I wanted to do and was no longer bored.

 

[nearfantastica]

I completely understand how different types of people can reflect on your boredom. This happened to me for most of my life, I spent a long time around people that I didn't like (mirroring people in school to fit in) which resulted in a lot of boredom and dissatisfaction because I never really felt comfortable. I am the odd one out when it comes to my immediate family,

That sounds exactly like me right now

 

[mu is mu]

I was a bit surprised to discover the content of this thread after I had predicted what it would contain based on its title.

As I and a few others on this forum have expressed many times, INTPs are significantly different from the (vast) majority of people, particularly in the area of interests. This inherent difference inevitably results in a sense of, or even desire for, isolation--at least to a degree. Why would someone under no obligation willingly and continuously interact with people with whom he shares virtually zero interests, even when we're not referring to differences caused by personality type? Aren't friendships usually based on some common interest or characteristic?

It seems to me that you allude to the concept referenced in my above remark when you say that

Don't get me wrong, some people are interesting and offer excellent conversation...but others... It's almost a shame that I crave social interaction now and then, aha.

As you may have observed, Sensors more often than not exhibit no interest in conversations that tend to interest iNtuitives, and the converse is oftentimes true as well. This tendency in my experience is even more pronounced for INTJs and INTPs. The resulting desire for withdrawal (or, better yet, for relationships with other Ns over Ss) is a natural consequence of inherent differences in personality, as Ss and Ns can have varying difficulty in relating with the interests, preferences, and thought processes of each other.

 

[BigApplePi]

As you may have observed, Sensors more often than not exhibit no interest in conversations that tend to interest iNtuitives, and the converse is oftentimes true as well.

If you are saying sensors and intuitives find each other mutually boring, why would that be? Saying that is one thing. Proving it is another.

 

[Krig]

Can anyone relate with this selective boredom? Or do you perhaps have opinions to offer on the cause of this insanity?

Something similiar happen to me.
I'm alone -> fantastic, I speak with myself and my animals, I jump meanwhile I'm reading, I start to swing eating cereals and watching Star Trek, I study moving my arms in the air thinking about patterns and making jokes.
I'm with my parents -> I can do everything, but just in a normal way, I feel enormously repressed. So I'm not able to study, Star Trek is less fascinating if I can't repeat characters' phrases, speak to them, and swing.
I'm with friends -> In this case everything is much complicated. I can't study at all because people distract me with their strange learning methods. If I do something that I like with friends, my Fe kills me. I perfectly know how low my social skills are, but at the same time I'm very empathetic and I feel vividly the ambient humor. I'm always under pressure. If there's a problem I can't isolate it and 'assign' it to another subject, if I see a problem, that problem is automatically mine. I hope I'm speaking an understandable English. The point is: pressure; am I doing everything right? Are my friends having good time? I can be with them just for one day, when we sleep all together the second day I'm totally full and I rest in silence all the time. I shut myself down, I want go home, I want be alone.
Maybe I'm OT...
I'm with strangers -> Totally disaster. mu is mu said right. The biggest problem is finding someone compatible. Getting bored is normal if people around you share the same communication style but you don't... In this cases if we are around the table (eating) I start to joke with food.

 

[mu is mu]

If you are saying sensors and intuitives find each other mutually boring, why would that be? Saying that is one thing. Proving it is another.

This is an interesting challenge, although I'm currently inclined to think that my comment under question was stated somewhat inaccurately and deserves to be reworded. But before I attempt to address your challenge, I would like to know how you regard personality theory (or functions), exactly:

1.) With complete skepticism
2.) With complete acceptance
3.) With a degree of acceptance between these two extremes

I'm not sure that proving any aspect of personality theory is possible in the sense that 223/71 < ╥ < 22/7 can be proven. Needless to say, I'm not sure what you mean by the word "prove."

Getting bored is normal if people around you share the same communication style but you don't...

I know exactly what you mean. Your English isn't bad, by the way.

 

[Milo]

I think I have adapted to having an automatic boredom response. It's almost like as soon as the feeling of boredom is edging closer, an idea of what to do automatically comes to me and I start engaging in some random activity automatically.

Around people, I have gotten rid of the urge to hide my true self, so whenever I am in a situation of people that I feel are perhaps holding me back from my self-entertainment potential, I will shake off the people who are "boring" or just holding the group back. Always just going my own way no matter what. Ever since I lost the label version of pride (vs. that of pride of just being myself) I am no longer being held back by the external situation.

Paradoxically, I also have adopted a form of "group think" which allows me to better navigate around the group socially and keep it interconnected in an aesthetic sort of way.

 

[BigApplePi]

If you are saying sensors and intuitives find each other mutually boring, why would that be? Saying that is one thing. Proving it is another.

This is an interesting challenge, although I'm currently inclined to think that my comment under question was stated somewhat inaccurately and deserves to be reworded. But before I attempt to address your challenge, I would like to know how you regard personality theory (or functions), exactly:

1.) With complete skepticism
2.) With complete acceptance
3.) With a degree of acceptance between these two extremes

I toss out 1. and 2. in a flash. I believe personality (temperament is the word they use) theory is a center of a truth. Just how to describe that truth is something I've been struggling with ever since I joined this forum. I want to state my own theory but I lack experience with all the types to verify. I also lack any acceptance on this forum from what I've come up with so far.


Be my guest on the challenge.

 

[BigApplePi]

I recognize myself in your post. As soon as boredom becomes eligible I've learned to move away. But that comes from the experience of knowing how to move away. Sometimes I get stuck and can't move away.

Simple example: waiting in line in New York City is a common phenomenon. Knowing that I bring something to read in line. Sometimes I forget to bring something though. What pisses me is when I bring something to read and then leave it at the event. Now I've lost my stuff.

 

[Anktark]

The only times I can get bored is if I am doing some task that I don't enjoy and which requires enough attention to keep me from designing and riding trains, but not so much that I am fully immersed in it. As in, I am still aware, but not enough to sing.

As for being bored because there is nothing to do? My mind can contain whole (albeit not detailed and zoomed out simultaneously ) worlds. I can recite and enjoy poems or books or create stories. What's the time (and year while you are at it)? I can argue with myself, call myself an idiot, laugh it off and try imagine how world would be if some variable was changed. What defines a life form? Would someone consisting of gas/plasma/electron clouds would consider us a life form? Am I an idiot for not remember what time it is even though I looked at a clock 10 seconds ago? How would I know if I were an idiot? I can feel my pulse in my eye/left leg/by staying still and feeling it out- what's the point? Look, some snow just fell off a roof and there is almost no wind, is God sending you a sign? Yeah, he is telling you that gravity is still "On".

No, I don't think I have ever been bored by doing (almost) nothing. Too much going through my mind constantly. And amount of people around is rather irrelevant.