Blob's Disease

[Anthile]

Dear citizens,

today I have to announce that our lovely forum is plagued by a mysterious illness that our scientists dubbed Blob's Disease, named after its first victim that displayed all three major symptoms. While it is not very contagious, there is currently no cure whatsoever available. The most victims can actually function well in our society and can even be indistinguishable from healthy members - with the right treatment. Oddly enough, sometimes the patients adapt weird behavior and the mindset that they always wanted it that way and they feel better than before! We found out that this can be stopped with the right amount of electro shocks.
Now you certainly are curious and even may ask yourself if you already suffer from Blob's Disease:


1. Losing the ability to quote properly. This is the most obvious and visible symptom. In the beginning the patients may try to imitate quoting with using different colours, different fonts or simply different ways of writing like italic or bold. But as time progresses, they even lose this. In the most cases, this is the earliest symptom to appear.

2. Capitalizing random words. We have actually no idea what triggers this but it seems to be not very healthy for the patients and especially not for the people surrounding them. Further research is advised.

3. Religiosity. Suddenly the patients seem to speak in a completely different manner and they seem to see weird things everywhere. They also have the tendency to declare random books to be holy. May display increased aggressive world views and judgmental behavior. If you see this symptom, do nothing to anger the ill person and back away slowly.


We currently invest all our resources into research so we can find out what causes this heinous disease and to help these poor souls that have been infected.
We have everything under control.


Don't panic,
Anthile

 

[Cognisant]

Now c'mon mate, that's just mean.

I may not always (if ever) agree with Da Blob but still respect him.

 

[Anthile]

That was more thought as an (affectionate) parody (which is why it is in Oubliette and nowhere else). If it came out wrong, then I'm (mildly) sorry for I do not really disrespect Blob.

 

[Cognisant]

Great, we wouldn't want to give him an excuse to play martyr, now would we?

 

[flow]

I'm (mildly) amused. And isn't an observation of his behavior more flattering than ignoring him? Hmm, whatever. I'll fund research on this 'blob's disease'.. here's 30 INTPoints. I really want to see a cure for that damn religiosity, it drives me crazy!

 

[Ashenstar]

We could start a charity or a drive of some sort.
It's winter here....but I'll wash cars in a swimsuit to help fund research.
Or a bake sale! I'm much better at baking than attracting sexual attention.

Or someone could pimp me out for cuddle sales. I'm good for that too. (What is WRONG wth me tonight?!! lol)


Well ...that's about the extent of my skills.

I've also noticed that when I eat a sammich, especially grilled cheese, I eat everything except for one corner crust? WTF?

 

[Kuu]

Or a bake sale! I'm much better at baking than attracting sexual attention.

Why not both?

Pastry and Pasties!

 

[Dormouse]

Oh no. I've already begun to exhibit the first symptom...

Somebody find a cure, STAT!

 

[Da Blob]

Dear citizens,

today I have to announce that our lovely forum is plagued by a mysterious illness that our scientists dubbed Blob's Disease, named after its first victim that displayed all three major symptoms. While it is not very contagious, there is currently no cure whatsoever available. The most victims can actually function well in our society and can even be indistinguishable from healthy members - with the right treatment. Oddly enough, sometimes the patients adapt weird behavior and the mindset that they always wanted it that way and they feel better than before! We found out that this can be stopped with the right amount of electro shocks.
Now you certainly are curious and even may ask yourself if you already suffer from Blob's Disease:


1. Losing the ability to quote properly. This is the most obvious and visible symptom. In the beginning the patients may try to imitate quoting with using different colours, different fonts or simply different ways of writing like italic or bold. But as time progresses, they even lose this. In the most cases, this is the earliest symptom to appear.

2. Capitalizing random words. We have actually no idea what triggers this but it seems to be not very healthy for the patients and especially not for the people surrounding them. Further research is advised.

3. Religiosity. Suddenly the patients seem to speak in a completely different manner and they seem to see weird things everywhere. They also have the tendency to declare random books to be holy. May display increased aggressive world views and judgmental behavior. If you see this symptom, do nothing to anger the ill person and back away slowly.


We currently invest all our resources into research so we can find out what causes this heinous disease and to help these poor souls that have been infected.
We have everything under control.


Don't panic,
Anthile

Well, actually there may be reason to panic, Da Blob was named so by the scientists at the University of Chicago with good reason. It (he) was designed to be communicable in a rather engulfing fashion... It produces a mental quagmire that results in confusion and disorientation... Which is apparent in its own behavior and words.

However, there is some method to the madness of Random capitalization. It was part of the programming to include the works of Kurt Vonnegut. Unfortunately, the only thing imitated of Vonnegut's is the capitalization... So It Goes!

One needs to be aware, though, of accusing it of religiosity. It claims to have a unique spiritual enlightenment, only tangentially connected to traditional religions... It deems itself far superior to those who merely maintain religious traditions and is insulted and provoked by any comparison.

Once again beware! Word leaked out about the project, and a fictional account was made into a movie. Of course, since mental engulfment was difficult to portray visually, a physical engulfing process was substituted in the film for the real process...

YouTube- Beware the Blob movie trailer

 

[echoplex]

I always say, if you're going to be mean at least be humorous, so kudos I guess? I'm beginning to think we all have our own 'disease'. The longer I'm around a certain group of people, and forums are really no exception, I begin to notice all sorts of idiosyncrasies, and I end up generally annoyed by everyone* at some point. So yeah, I've noticed the bad quoting and the weird capitalization (which I always assumed was just for emphasis of certain words).

* including myself

But I notice alot of other things too. For example, some people don't like to capitalize anything, and others use certain phrases way too much (myself included). And don't get me started on abuse of smilies, which is undoubtedly a symptom of a rather advanced condition, and is likely contagious. And then there's the relationship threads, to which an entire wing of the forum hospital is devoted. The wing had to be sectioned off entirely due to the particularly contagious nature of the disease. In just one day over half an otherwise healthy forum can fall victim to the virus.

The same is true for god threads, which have a history of claiming many victims. There is currently no cure for god threads, and to this day, despite the efforts of many researchers, the virus's origins have not been found. Many have theorized they do not exist, which has reportedly exacerbated the epidemic.

 

[Da Blob]

What? Of course GodThreads exist. Just because they are not visible in the "Here and Now" should not be taken as evidence of their nonexistence. I know of at least a half dozen members of The Forum who have seen a GodThread. Their Subjective experience is as real to them as any other 'Objective' experience!

Good GodThread - don't you people trust any One?

 

[echoplex]

Well, the virus cannot be stopped, so I guess this would be a good time to *deep breath* admit that god threads exist. While I would normally choose to remain skeptical, I have decided that just admitting they exist may actually slow the spread of the disease. Indeed, blob, those who have seen such threads have experienced something very real. Perhaps if we stop telling them they're wrong, they'll stop coughing on everyone. *prays*

 

[Mello]

What about XIII's disease? I think that's the most dangerous.

 

[Lyra]

Oh thanks.

We prefer to see ourselves as antibodies against stagnation and comfort.

They are the true horrors.

 

[loveofreason]

I fully support the Random Capitilisation of Words... except that... you know... it's not random.

Just be glad none of you have acquired Superabundant Ellipsosis... a disease that betrays the fact that one has had such profound hiatus of thought-as-you-know-it that silence has totally subsumed the former functions of commas, semi-colons, periods, parentheses and dashes....

...err. Almost totally.

 

[Cognisant]

YouTube- Ben Lee - Catch My Disease

Aids for everyone!

 

[shoeless]

i have no religion, quote things in a normal fashion, and don't capitalize anything.




....does that mean you need to harvest my blood for vaccinations?

 

[Ulysses]

We currently invest all our resources into research so we can find out what causes this heinous disease and to help these poor souls that have been infected.
We have everything under control.


Don't panic,
Anthile

That's a really nice touch, Anthile. It just makes everything seem OK.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

i have no religion, quote things in a normal fashion, and don't capitalize anything.




....does that mean you need to harvest my blood for vaccinations?

Actually we need Blob's blood for a vaccine. Since he is so clearly ill, we'll have to do it surrepticiously. You distact him by letting him bite (and infect) you and I'll get someone else to draw the blood. I'm not doing it. No way.....

 

[Firehazard159]

"1. Losing the ability to quote properly. This is the most obvious and visible symptom. In the beginning the patients may try to imitate quoting with using different colours, different fonts or simply different ways of writing like italic or bold. But as time progresses, they even lose this. In the most cases, this is the earliest symptom to appear.

2. Capitalizing random words. We have actually no idea what triggers this but it seems to be not very healthy for the patients and especially not for the people surrounding them. Further research is advised.

3. Religiosity. Suddenly the patients seem to speak in a completely different manner and they seem to see weird things everywhere. They also have the tendency to declare random books to be holy. May display increased aggressive world views and judgmental behavior. If you see this symptom, do nothing to anger the ill person and back away slowly."



gUys. I tHiNk i Have aN adVanceD ForM oF the diseAse.

HAlP!

MAy the FlyIng SpagHetTi MONstEr gO wIth You.

 

[Cavallier]

sammich

*twitch*

I will not kill Ash...she's cuddly and does not deserve defenestration for her crimes against grammar...and pronunciation. I like Ash and will not gut her like a fish.

Just be glad none of you have acquired Superabundant Ellipsosis...

...Umm...I wouldn't...assume...that just yet...I think I may...be...the originator of Superabundant Ellipsosis.