Birthday / life / people musings

[asmit127]

Yesterday was my birthday, an occasion it seems I am not alone (in this forum, at least) in not really celebrating. I don't take the day off work, I don't plan any kind of get together and if possible I be vague about when I'll be home to avoid visits from my extended family.

This year (as last, actually) we had a meeting on my birthday. It finished at 15:30 and instead of going back to the office I was tempted to the pub. It was someone's leaving party but people knew it was my birthday and insisted on buying me drinks - it is hard to refuse

So there's me and a bunch of colleagues coming and going, the average age was probably 45+ (I'm 25) and after the first hour all but me were females (I'm male) in long term relationships (I've never had one). So on paper this sounds like hell - I'm in a social situation when I don't want to be with people I have nothing in common with except the ability to tolerate a phone interrupting daily work. Not to mention there were people above me in the company, so it's potentially career threatening to be honest.

I couldn't have been more wrong. I got completely drunk, had something to say on nearly every topic discussed (and felt people were interested in my often unusual views), found out the person who is leaving has a doctorate in Psychology and seemingly half of the department is/has been vegetarian, got some feedback on how I am perceived by these people without even asking for it... I was happy with these people for 6 hours!

This morning I have a hangover from hell and vague memories of my best birthday ever, but my head is just full of questions that only I can answer. This was the first time I've been comfortable and talkative in a crowd, it just seems the wrong place/time! I just hope I didn't offend the wrong person...

Thoughts?

 

[DrSLudge]

good job, you didn't say anything like
"As a matter of fact! I hate ANYONE who had a pony growing up"
to find out that your boss had a pony in poland when she was a girl. Everyone had ponys.
how COULD you hate her for having a pony?

 

[Cavallier]

After spending the evening imbibing I often have a vague worry that I was to open with people. Nobody else ever thinks I was so I'm sure you were fine.

Honestly, this is a nice example of how if you allow yourself to get to know people you might otherwise avoid you discover that they can be interesting and have personalities. This is why getting out of your comfort zone can be a good thing and a good example of something INTPs should try out from time to time. Staying at home and telling yourself it'll suck means it always sucks. But getting out a bit and broadening your horizons is a way of proving yourself wrong.

Besides, I really enjoy drinking with an older crowd. There is much lest posturing and a more relaxed attitude. There is no sexual undertones and if you can get them to listen to you they have enough worldly experience that you can learn a few things and have deeper conversations than with the average 20 year old.

 

[asmit127]

good job, you didn't say anything like ...

I'm rarely inclined to make sweeping generalisations like that, if I've offended someone it would be far more personal to them. I may have mocked them for being a vegetarian for 20 years but having a leather handbag/shoes, for example. I'm not impressed by such hypocrisy.

this is a nice example of how if you allow yourself to get to know people you might otherwise avoid you discover that they can be interesting and have personalities. This is why getting out of your comfort zone can be a good thing and a good example of something INTPs should try out from time to time. Staying at home and telling yourself it'll suck means it always sucks.

Indeed, a positive attitude always helps. Thing is I've been out with these people before (along with younger colleagues) so have always assumed I should have more in common with those more my age. Not so...

Besides, I really enjoy drinking with an older crowd. There is much lest posturing and a more relaxed attitude. There is no sexual undertones and if you can get them to listen to you they have enough worldly experience that you can learn a few things and have deeper conversations than with the average 20 year old.

That may well be it, these people have nothing to prove so can just be themselves which those my age are incapable of. Thus I can read them better which makes me more comfortable. I wonder though, is this really what's going on or are they just experienced enough to act like this is the case? Guess I'll only know when they next go out by whether I'm invited or not. Hopefully they aren't stupid enough to be thinking I was just being polite by staying with them rather than going out with my friends!