being single

[Minuend]

but how many are ok with that

Why does it matter? You find those with similar opinions and all is well.

minuend, you have parents that tell you these things right? take it as your fate lead you to a lover who acts like your parents... do it now or you'll be grounded (or never ending rant and tantrums and no sex and on and on...)

What a peculiar thing to say.

My dad is a narrow-minded and conservative christian. My mother is a more open-minded person, but still very much a slave to traditions. I'm a liberal person loving of the sciency. My opinions and perspectives are quite different from theirs. So no, they have nothing to do with this. It's something I have realized as I grew older.

Not that it would affect the validity/ non-validity of my opinions if they in some way were behind them.

 

[RedN]

Im just saying, not everyone is up for non-exclusivity. Most would want it for themselves but at the threat that the partner would reciprocate... it starts to have a bad after taste

but yeah, ok, if you really need to be in such an arrangement there the only choice is to seek those types out. just as if you are into bondage and other sick shit, you cant be with a normal person... youll have to seek out someone compatible with you.

eh? i meant chores(telling you to do them at the time that they want you to)... its got nothing to do with tradition and science... I got lucky though since my parents werent so tough on the clean your room or wash this wash that

then again, maybe thats why im not so neat?

 

[Minuend]

Normal is a matter of perspective

 

[NinjaSurfer]

Normal is a matter of perspective

that is the same thing I say about schizophrenia

 

[RedN]

and in that context, meaning the person just wants plain sex without the bondage, if i have to be clearer

ADD:
I always find it interesting why some people I meet are very reactive to that word. And interesting that they say the exact same thing. And for some reason, they are also ... not normal by the typical standards of society, the majority.

 

[SpaceYeti]

You get benefits from the relationship; support, intimacy. But you don't have to restrict that source to one. Or, sometimes, you keep one for support and are free to have sex with others if you like.

Upset about not following the schedule... I don't even know where to begin. Having to do chores now instead of later is freedom restriction? I mean, it's just so...irrelevant to what life is about. Or if life could be said to be about something, doing the dishes wouldn't be it.

I could also tell my wife to leave me alone about chores, but what do I gain from that fight? It is irrelavent, that's why I do it instead of fighting over it. Also, I'm not into open relationships. My point is that you compromise, even if they're only slight and the benefits outweigh them. I never said relationships weren't worth it, only that you make conpromises.

 

[Minuend]

that is the same thing I say about schizophrenia

As the perspective from outside, or from within?

If we say those with schizophrenia are abnormal, it is because we have decided it to be. There is no natural law that separates the odd from the normal. Same with what we consider sick. Homosexuality once was. The DSM has been through several changes throughout the years. The human system is not infallible or an objective truth.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

As the perspective from outside, or from within?

If we say those with schizophrenia are abnormal, it is because we have decided it to be. There is no natural law that separates the odd from the normal. Same with what we consider sick. Homosexuality once was. The DSM has been through several changes throughout the years. The human system is not infallible or an objective truth.

the DSM (omg V is almost out I can't wait! ) is more hilarious than the bible

both have their place in the religious section of the library though

I should qualify my statements somewhat with IMHO but that statement (in my honest opinion) should somewhat always be assumed these days, thus stating it is rather redundant, as I am reiterating it again and again and again, IMHO lol

^meaning, in a roundabout way, that "IMHO" and people who say that are one of my biggest pet peeves... like they're insulting my intelligence by assuming I did not know they were stating an opinion....

nevermind I derailed my own post

 

[RedN]

ive decided not to nail him... i think im gonna try to really just keep my relationships on the friends level for now... not like friends with benefits.

add a few minutes later:
shit!!! what the hell just happened........ I ended up with a date with him next week... what the hell... now i really feel like that girl on my avatar >_<`

what is wrong with me??!?!?!?!?!?!

 

[SpaceYeti]

Um... I don't know. How the hell did you wind up with a date? Do you have no self-control at all? I'd suggest you practice discipline, but it seems you lack enough discipline to do so.

 

[RedN]

i have a personality disorder ok... i dont know if thats true or just some bullshit i came up with to be able to live with myself... but once it kicks in I like turn into something else... and things just... 'happen'. then when i snap out of it I well... ugh... its not like 'just lack of discipline' coz i really just lose control. wahhhhhhhhhh

 

[catatonic]

I'd been diagnosed with schizophrenia once.

 

[SpaceYeti]

If it's actually a disorder, you could get help. Otherwise, no, lack of discipline. Don't shunt off your actions, don't pretend you don't control you when at your weakest. Do you beat your weakness by pretending you can't, or through trying. Could you be taught?

 

[RedN]

then maybe you can ... relate to me somehow...

do you... hear voices in your head too?

YETI, well I cant ok... I try!!! but i think im just the type that needs someone to MAKE ME.

 

[SpaceYeti]

That's the sort of teaching I meant. But, does it work?

 

[RedN]

I didnt mean teach me to, i meant make me as in force me to

this is why i hate being single, I was just like this back then too ugh!!! Im like a wild monster without a chain...

 

[SpaceYeti]

Direct, physical force, no instructions, with rewards and punishments?

 

[RedN]

direct, physical force, with instructions, with punishments

rewards dont work for me and unclear or instructions with holes - I'll just find ways to exploit them and justify my actions.

I guess im just the type that needs to be subdued completely... thats why submissive types, feminine, too good and delicate guys dont work...

 

[SpaceYeti]

Sounds fun.

 

[RedN]

for the right kind of guy... i can be a dream come true, for the wrong kind... i guess im like a nightmare

 

[catatonic]

I have some special friends and special world.

But i can differentiate the "real" and the "special".

They're not only imaginary for me, i think they are real but live in other dimension and I'm sensitive enough to see them.


OMG I hope you don't think I'm crazy.

 

[SpaceYeti]

for the right kind of guy... i can be a dream come true, for the wrong kind... i guess im like a nightmare

This guy, the cheater... wrong kind. You need a firm hand with a soft heart... or some other crappy metaphor. You need a guy who can plan as I would.

 

[RedN]

oh dont worry kitty. I think its perfectly fine.

i talk to two people in my head often, and its actually very helpful most of the time since its like 3 brains working together so if i miss something or i cant figure something out the others can help - and they usually do.

I guess thats what allows us to handle different situations. since we're all kinda different in our special way... hmmmm...

i hope i dont sound crazy tooooo

YETI,
true I agree. someone like that

ok people, im off to bed. i still have to play with my teddy bear and her pets so.... eh good night to you alllllll
*please just play along ok...

 

[HDINTP]

I have some special friends and special world.

But i can differentiate the "real" and the "special".

They're not only imaginary for me, i think they are real but live in other dimension and I'm sensitive enough to see them.


OMG I hope you don't think I'm crazy.

That is great I have imaginary friends that always help to solve problems too...

 

[SpaceYeti]

YETI,
true I agree. someone like that.

Then look for that guy instead of fooling with a waste of time.

 

[RedN]

I AM looking.

It's like wanting to eat lobster, it doesn't hurt to eat shrimp til you can...

 

[SpaceYeti]

I guess I'm pickier than you. If they don't meet my standards, they don't meet my standards. It's that simple.

 

[RedN]

just because youd eat shrimp, doesnt mean youd eat ants as a substitute for lobster!!!

im cheerful again anyway... i had a good f.. em... last night
i think that dose should last for a few days

 

[HeOnlySings]

Single since birth and comfortable with it

Everytime I've been asked out I can only think about what the end will be like. It's pretty self-defeating but I can't help it

 

[skip]

How old are you, HeOnlySings?

 

[RedN]

sings, you sound like youre reallly young...

HEY skip, you in the LA area? you dance?

anyway, me... right now the way im coping with being single is dancing. for some reason when i do dance, its not just being single that i forget its everything else... all my problems just... its like weird... i can express how i feel but im not thinking, i can show if im happy or sad or mad but i dont need words or logic its...

last night though...... oh yeah, and its a great way to meet new people if you are not thinking of staying single. for me, its like every time i go someone hits on me or maybe just making friends, some are dicks but most of the time theyre cool. last night he was kinda sweet and nice, i hope to see him again next week.

oh yeah... i can spin now!!!!!!!!! oh godddd and i didnt trip at all, i ALMOSTTTTTT but i was able to recover.

im just a bit upset coz one of my friends, someone who also used to hit on me 0 fuckin bastard kissed me when he had a gf hahahahaha, said that i was fat... goooooooood i... fuckin meanie!!!!!! I sorta liked him too,... hes my ex's band mate

i hope i can keep his up. maybe this is too personal to say but... it really hit me very hard a few weeks ago and i almost killed myself after the breakup. a part of me really thought that relationship was gonna reach that far, the end you know i mean us living together not just as that but more... oh well. haha...

sorry i have a reallllllly bad hangover.

but as yeti joked, i think i need someone whos nice but is firm. i think ill try to wait for that one, til then maybe ill just have fun for now and experience things some more. maybe i dont know men well enough... maybe i should try to get to know them a bit more eh... for now

 

[HDINTP]

sings, you sound like youre reallly young...

HEY skip, you in the LA area? you dance?

anyway, me... right now the way im coping with being single is dancing. for some reason when i do dance, its not just being single that i forget its everything else... all my problems just... its like weird... i can express how i feel but im not thinking, i can show if im happy or sad or mad but i dont need words or logic its...

last night though...... oh yeah, and its a great way to meet new people if you are not thinking of staying single. for me, its like every time i go someone hits on me or maybe just making friends, some are dicks but most of the time theyre cool. last night he was kinda sweet and nice, i hope to see him again next week.

oh yeah... i can spin now!!!!!!!!! oh godddd and i didnt trip at all, i ALMOSTTTTTT but i was able to recover.

im just a bit upset coz one of my friends, someone who also used to hit on me 0 fuckin bastard kissed me when he had a gf hahahahaha, said that i was fat... goooooooood i... fuckin meanie!!!!!! I sorta liked him too,... hes my ex's band mate

i hope i can keep his up. maybe this is too personal to say but... it really hit me very hard a few weeks ago and i almost killed myself after the breakup. a part of me really thought that relationship was gonna reach that far, the end you know i mean us living together not just as that but more... oh well. haha...

sorry i have a reallllllly bad hangover.

but as yeti joked, i think i need someone whos nice but is firm. i think ill try to wait for that one, til then maybe ill just have fun for now and experience things some more. maybe i dont know men well enough... maybe i should try to get to know them a bit more eh... for now

Do you think you are actually old?

If both of us were single would you let me kiss you?

 

[RedN]

Im in a weird position, lets just say a very unique effect of my meds is like it reset my brain to an emotional level of a teenage girl. reset ok not like keep it there...

as for would i kiss you, if youre my type?

 

[GYX_Kid]

The only way I've successfully danced with a girl was by grabbing her hands and jumping around in a circle, with gradually increasing force

 

[RedN]

that can be dizzyin gyx... hahahahaha but sounds ok. you know what, actually at the club theres this weird couple... the guy was thin and INSANELY geeky ok and the girl is freakinnnnnnnnn HOT and its jsut i don tknow.... the way he dances is hed grab this girls hands both of em then just jump then alternate raising each hand. i know the people there think they look like em... different but i think it was actually kinda sweet...

 

[GYX_Kid]

You haven't experienced *hammered* until you've drank a lot and done the spinny jumping harmony dance.

 

[RedN]

sounds like country to me... there are some country clubs here but ive never tried them. show me then if you come to town

 

[Roni]

I guess im just asking for advice on how to cope with it. .... being single just aint my thing and im not happy like this.

*writes wise and exhaustive essay on change management*
*deletes patronising drivel*
*posts a link to someone else's wisdom and/or drivel*

One Thousand Single Days

You don't need advice on being single because you're not single yet - you're still half a couple.
Maybe you think you need advice on coping with that loss, but you don't. You're not a kid. You've coped with loss before, you'll cope again, you're coping now. You probably already know about chocolate-icecream-and-self-pity nights.

I suppose I could tell you about the Post Divorce Slut Phase, but I'm sure there's no need to elaborate - I've never met a woman over a certain age who didn't immediately know what I meant, including the significance of the word phase.

Give yourself a year. Have much fun. Then, if you're not already looking for another half couple, we can talk about being single. And dancing, probably

 

[catatonic]

i am agree with you, Roni.

anyway, here is the formula :

Love = Attraction + Respect.

You’ll recognize actual Love when you’re in it. The right kind of girl/guy will stand head and shoulders above the rest of the whores/assholes you've nailed.

 

[HDINTP]

Im in a weird position, lets just say a very unique effect of my meds is like it reset my brain to an emotional level of a teenage girl. reset ok not like keep it there...

as for would i kiss you, if youre my type?

You can answer both I am and also if I am not?

 

[RedN]

roni, i wonder if he can pull it off then hahahaha.

me, the farthest that im going for now is... I would not hunt. For so long ive been the hunter, its something I have to learn, to be the prey for once.

we're/// .. wait... you say we're half a... oh....... shit, sorry I just got it a bit late hahahah.

well i know how it goes dont worry hahahha. i was actually supposed to get married last november, people were telling me this person just wanted papers to get here... i didnt listen, but it ended coz things just changed. i changed in a big way and i guess for once i finally saw and accepted its not gonna work. then i ended up with like a different lover every month? hey atleast not every week right?

HD, oh no i meant.. hahaha... if you were my type id kiss you. i dont care if its in front of a hundred/thousand people. if not ill kiss you in the cheek ahahhaha.

 

[HeOnlySings]

epic bump but

How old are you, HeOnlySings?

sings, you sound like youre reallly young...

18

Is it unreasonable and cynical?
I don't know how to stop