Being Emotionally Inarticulate

[KilledCat]

As an INTP, what was the moment when you realized how truly incompetent you were at understanding people?

Mine was with my current girlfriend. This was before we were dating, but we had been flirting for a while. Extremely blatant flirting, might I add, coming up with nicknames for each other, calling each other Babe, Love, Dear, etc, talking about dating, marriage, saying I love you, and generally just acting like a couple. Fast forward a few weeks later, I am completely shocked to learn that she is interested in actually dating me. Who knew?

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

I think your incompetence goes beyond emotional articulation, my friend. It stretches into the field of biology.

Anyways, I don't think I've ever been "truly incompetent" at understanding people, but I realized at some point in my early 20s that I severely overestimated the strength of character of the average person out there. I realized that things I say to them can radically affect their emotions. This concerns women especially, but maybe that's because the female population is mostly comprised of ESFJs.

 

[Niclmaki]

Heh, as an ENTP I can kind of get this. I can literally just say, “no” to my mother in a reply and she takes it like I yelled at her. Same goes if I say, “fine”.

With my father no ONLY means no, and, “fine” means fine. Much more comfortable talking with him.

Although I understand these differences, I still speak in a very Ti way. I’m not going to sugar-coat things for the sake of their touchy-feelies. They just need to learn that words mean what they mean.

Heck, even my close cousin (she is an ISTJ) KNOWS that fine only means fine, but will still take it as if someone said “bad” instead of “fine”.

I might just be fighting a losing battle against popular use; however.