Ask an ESFP

[iAmMe]

I've started many a threads that have to do with "what type am I?" My first post on this forum was an inquiry (very poorly worded I might add) on whether I was INTJ or INTP. That was over 3 years ago. I just ask because I thought it would be funny for me to ask someone who doesn't know me at all what type I am and tbh, was just fishing for a fresh perspective. I do that a lot actually; not so much online, but more irl I will ask a question to someone I don't know very well about something where I have no idea what they know about that subject in hopes that they have something interesting to say about it. Its one of those things that you don't get a great result too often but its so easy to do its worth it to ask and when you do get a good result, its like I won a million dollars or something.

That's understandable. It definitely doesn't hurt to ask. At the same time, if you really can't decide which you are, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I personally don't subscribe to every little tiny theoretical point made by the Myers-Briggs theory or by David Keirsey's Temperaments or by Socionics or by Enneagram (the little that I know). Just accept that you are an exceptionally well-rounded person and try to grow in the areas where you see weakness in yourself. MBTI is interesting, but in the end, it will be a true compliment to me when my type is unrecognizable to studied eyes. In my opinion, MBTI doesn't talk enough about growth and how to improve in the areas we lack. But to me, that is the ultimate point of a theory like this. It's about practical application. Maybe the INTPs here don't agree. Maybe they value "truth" for "truth's" sake. But I value whatever is going to help me be the best me that I can be.

So, if you can't figure out your type, take away whatever can be applied to you and your life and stop trying to stifle yourself and stuff your "you" into a box.

 

[QuickTwist]

That's understandable. It definitely doesn't hurt to ask. At the same time, if you really can't decide which you are, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I personally don't subscribe to every little tiny theoretical point made by the Myers-Briggs theory or by David Keirsey's Temperaments or by Socionics or by Enneagram (the little that I know). Just accept that you are an exceptionally well-rounded person and try to grow in the areas where you see weakness in yourself. MBTI is interesting, but in the end, it will be a true compliment to me when my type is unrecognizable to studied eyes. In my opinion, MBTI doesn't talk enough about growth and how to improve in the areas we lack. But to me, that is the ultimate point of a theory like this. It's about practical application. Maybe the INTPs here don't agree. Maybe they value "truth" for "truth's" sake. But I value whatever is going to help me be the best me that I can be.

So, if you can't figure out your type, take away whatever can be applied to you and your life and stop trying to stifle yourself and stuff your "you" into a box.

Me? Well rounded? My God, you have to be the first person in history who has said that about me with a straight face. Says more about me than you actually. But no, really when it comes to introspection about myself I can't even come up with adjective that describe me let alone trying to narrow down a four by four matrix of myself into a singular dichotomy. This is me at my most nerdiest.

 

[Brontosaurie]

How long do you think i could be your friend solely by deliberately and tactically dropping generic affirmative phrases like "It's great isn't it!" and "Yeah! I totally agree! Cool!" before you noticed something was off?

Do you make that intense kind of jokingly gauging/commanding ESFP face sometimes? How about that ESFP kinky giggle? How about the ESFP seeming-alert-by-talking-slowly?

 

[iAmMe]

Me? Well rounded? My God, you have to be the first person in history who has said that about me with a straight face. Says more about me than you actually. But no, really when it comes to introspection about myself I can't even come up with adjective that describe me let alone trying to narrow down a four by four matrix of myself into a singular dichotomy. This is me at my most nerdiest.

Ah. So the problem is more like, you aren't sure exactly who you are and therefore have a hard time trying to apply the types to your life?? Sounds like you need to live life. Just get experiences so that you can actually see how you act and respond to different scenarios. Get out of your comfort zone and see what is most natural. Then, it'll probably be easier to really relate more to a specific type. It's easy to figure out what you do behavior-wise. But how you see the world and make decisions...that's harder. Is your view more abstract or concrete? Are more of your decisions based on some subjective logic or on your own inner value system. That can be potentially difficult. Just take what you know, take a step back and live your life and observe what you do and how you think about things. That's my advice.

 

[QuickTwist]

Ah. So the problem is more like, you aren't sure exactly who you are and therefore have a hard time trying to apply the types to your life?? Sounds like you need to live life. Just get experiences so that you can actually see how you act and respond to different scenarios. Get out of your comfort zone and see what is most natural. Then, it'll probably be easier to really relate more to a specific type. It's easy to figure out what you do behavior-wise. But how you see the world and make decisions...that's harder. Is your view more abstract or concrete? Are more of your decisions based on some subjective logic or on your own inner value system. That can be potentially difficult. Just take what you know, take a step back and live your life and observe what you do and how you think about things. That's my advice.

That is actually remarkably good advice. I'll try and explain some things, step by step.

I have identity issues basically. I have a lot of self awareness, but when it comes to putting that knowledge to use in practicality, I don't do as good a job. In other words, if someone were to ask me what I think of myself I would get lost in what others have said about me and I would want to be aware enough to come up with my own interpretation of who I really am. I would get stuck in contemplation, searching for the perfect way to describe yet never finding it. One thing you talked about was getting out of my comfort zone to experience life and observe. This is really solid. Thing is, I am comfortable in where/what I do currently. I am pretty compulsive and have social anxiety (though I know how to fake like I don't, like in an interview or something) so getting out of my comfort zone is difficult. Also, I find noticing patterns in behavior more difficult than identifying how I see the world and make decisions. This is weird right? My problem stems from internalizing everything. My view of the world is very relativistic, but I would say if anything it errs on the side of functional idealism, but only in theory as opposed to practice. Most of my decisions are based on compulsions immediate yet thought provoking is what motivates me mostly and I base decisions on that need for thought provoking stimulation (I'm just not smart enough to be clinically depressed because of the mundaneness of life). I am depressed however. It gets hazy why I am depressed though.

So what's my diagnosis doctor (I kid, but am also serious)?

 

[iAmMe]

How long do you think i could be your friend solely by deliberately and tactically dropping generic affirmative phrases like "It's great isn't it!" and "Yeah! I totally agree! Cool!" before you noticed something was off?

Do you make that intense kind of jokingly gauging/commanding ESFP face sometimes? How about that ESFP kinky giggle? How about the ESFP seeming-alert-by-talking-slowly?

Not so sure that would work. If we were to miraculously get to a topic that would allow me to be long-winded like I tend to be, eventually, I'd get to the end of this sililoquy and I'd look at you expectantly and would definitely want more than a little affirmation. At that level, I guess we could be acquaintances. Hi and bye and not much else. I'm not completely oblivious. Especially not in social situations. I'd probably be able to tell that you weren't interested in whatever I was saying. OR depending on our friendship, I might try to tease you out of the stony face and bleak answers.

...I don't know what faces and giggles and slow talking that you speak of!

I feel like I might do the face... It's hard to know if I can't see it. Lol. "Kinky giggle"????? How am I supposed to know what that sounds like via the internet??? I don't think I do the last one. My rate of speech is usually pretty quick and I'll slow down in order to express myself accurately, mostly this happen when the topic is more conceptual or I don't know a lot about a topic.

 

[iAmMe]

That is actually remarkably good advice. I'll try and explain some things, step by step.

I have identity issues basically. I have a lot of self awareness, but when it comes to putting that knowledge to use in practicality, I don't do as good a job. In other words, if someone were to ask me what I think of myself I would get lost in what others have said about me and I would want to be aware enough to come up with my own interpretation of who I really am. I would get stuck in contemplation, searching for the perfect way to describe yet never finding it. One thing you talked about was getting out of my comfort zone to experience life and observe. This is really solid. Thing is, I am comfortable in where/what I do currently. I am pretty compulsive and have social anxiety (though I know how to fake like I don't, like in an interview or something) so getting out of my comfort zone is difficult. Also, I find noticing patterns in behavior more difficult than identifying how I see the world and make decisions. This is weird right? My problem stems from internalizing everything. My view of the world is very relativistic, but I would say if anything it errs on the side of functional idealism, but only in theory as opposed to practice. Most of my decisions are based on compulsions immediate yet thought provoking is what motivates me mostly and I base decisions on that need for thought provoking stimulation (I'm just not smart enough to be clinically depressed because of the mundaneness of life). I am depressed however. It gets hazy why I am depressed though.

So what's my diagnosis doctor (I kid, but am also serious)?

What I think I'm hearing is this. You are pretty much sure you're an INTP. You're way of thinking and being pretty much lines up with that. But you're like really disconnected from your Fe. How do I know...you find it hard to notice patterns in behavor, you get social anxiety, and everything seems to be internalized. Ne seems to be the best way to get you out of your shell. Maybe you need to be talking to an ESFJ who has all of your functions and really values Fe. An ISFJ can work too.

Fe is all about harmony in the outer world. Fe doms will compromise inner logic to affect the emotional atmosphere of their surrondings. I'm not the best person to really describe it. I've heard ENTJs (Dom Te, Inferior Fi) talk about how sometimes they're actions will go against their inner value system because they're so stuck in Te, and Fi is way on the back burner. Then, all of a sudden they're Fi will turn on and they'll realize what they've done and it can potentially have a major effect on them. Maybe that's what you're going through, but the Ti/Fe version? Like, you want to be more effective and warm in your outer world but you have this cold logical inside that takes over and doesn't let you do that? Then when you notice that your actions don't line up with your "functional idealistic" views, it puts you into this depressed state. Your depressing might have more to do with your own views of your actions than with mundaneness in life.

Other possibilities...

Maybe you're stuck in the grip of Fe???? As a disclaimer, I've never read the book and I don't know what that would look like.

Maybe you're stuck in an Ti/Si loop?? Is that a thing???

If you can't find an xSFJ to explain that Fe, then any Fe user (I hear that INFJs are great counselors, lol). Also, an ENTP or ENFP would at least get you using your Ne and possibly out of your inner world. That might be beneficial. Excercising that extraverted function can help you balance the abundance of Ti.

I might be rambling or might have said something helpful. I don't know. But I really hope there's something useful here.

 

[Teax]

I guess Se and Ne are equally bad at misplacing things

I watch people play sometimes and it's not exceedingly boring.

hehe ringing endorsement.... Would you prefer games where you could play cooperatively with someone rather than against someone or alone?

I talk alot. So while quiet is okay silence is much harder. I like to know I'm being heard or there's really no reason. So, are you actively listening? I'd probably start saying stupid stuff until you reacted. Or be funny to try to get you to laugh and lighten up. Complete silence sounds like an impossibility. Eventually you'd break. So I probably wouldn't get bored because I'd have fun trying to make you have fun. Lol.

I'd break, true, in more than one way

I'd be listening in as much as I could... This is so familiar, I'm starting to suspect a few people of being ESFPs *shifty eyes*. Thanks sis!

Can we change it to the last song I sang?? Then it would be a dream come true.

That good huh.... Are you a creative force? I mean, do you write your own songs/melodies?

Imagine you want to protect yourself in the olden-days somewhere in the woods, you find two swords stuck in the ground. One looks store-bought new, the other is kinda used and slightly beat up:

Which one do you grab? And in retrospect, why?

Would you rather perform every-time anew, or record a song and never perform that particular song again?

Would you lie to get your way?

Do you like to work towards small goals or one big goal in the future?

 

[QuickTwist]

What I think I'm hearing is this. You are pretty much sure you're an INTP. You're way of thinking and being pretty much lines up with that. But you're like really disconnected from your Fe. How do I know...you find it hard to notice patterns in behavor, you get social anxiety, and everything seems to be internalized. Ne seems to be the best way to get you out of your shell. Maybe you need to be talking to an ESFJ who has all of your functions and really values Fe. An ISFJ can work too.

Fe is all about harmony in the outer world. Fe doms will compromise inner logic to affect the emotional atmosphere of their surrondings. I'm not the best person to really describe it. I've heard ENTJs (Dom Te, Inferior Fi) talk about how sometimes they're actions will go against their inner value system because they're so stuck in Te, and Fi is way on the back burner. Then, all of a sudden they're Fi will turn on and they'll realize what they've done and it can potentially have a major effect on them. Maybe that's what you're going through, but the Ti/Fe version? Like, you want to be more effective and warm in your outer world but you have this cold logical inside that takes over and doesn't let you do that? Then when you notice that your actions don't line up with your "functional idealistic" views, it puts you into this depressed state. Your depressing might have more to do with your own views of your actions than with mundaneness in life.

Other possibilities...

Maybe you're stuck in the grip of Fe???? As a disclaimer, I've never read the book and I don't know what that would look like.

Maybe you're stuck in an Ti/Si loop?? Is that a thing???

If you can't find an xSFJ to explain that Fe, then any Fe user (I hear that INFJs are great counselors, lol). Also, an ENTP or ENFP would at least get you using your Ne and possibly out of your inner world. That might be beneficial. Excercising that extraverted function can help you balance the abundance of Ti.

I might be rambling or might have said something helpful. I don't know. But I really hope there's something useful here.

You have a lot of insight into people, I can tell. I am not super confident on being INTP. There are some things, mostly the way they think that I really identify with, but in terms of behavior, not too sure. INTPs love to read and enjoy learning for learning's sake. So while I enjoy garnering info into peoples lives as to what they are good at (what they are good/expert at being key) has a great allure to me, I am not the type of person to take a friday afternoon to slog through a great scientists works and whatnot. Funny enough, my mom things I would make are really good counselor because I have just enough appeasement to people while coming up with encouraging real ways to solve peoples problems. I really do like to exhort people in true and meaningful ways and since I am the functional idealist that I am I can come up with reasonable solutions to people problems.

Ironically my father is an XSFJ. He is hard to talk to though because we are such different people. He does value harmony a lot, but he is also very tempermental - a characteristic I don't share in any way. He will get angry for god knows what reason and sometimes takes it out on other people. He is not the sharpest tool in the shed shall we say. He wears his emotions on his sleeve. He is one of those people that you can tell exactly how he is feeling at a mere glance. He has 2 emotions: happy go lucky and offended/angry/embarrassed. Also, I have extreme trust issues with him, he is the least composed person I have met. His flippant ignorant need for justice often took its toll on me as a young child and I still have a lot of emotional scars from my youth.

you want to be more effective and warm in your outer world but you have this cold logical inside that takes over and doesn't let you do that?

Yes, exactly this.

Ti/Si loop is in fact a real thing. I don't know how much I identify with it in a true INTP way though. Could be the case though.

You've said some very helpful things, thanks.

 

[Dalyth]

Has your perspective concerning INTP changed since joining and participating in this forum?

Have you read any other threads on the forum? If so, which ones? Did any stand out as interesting to you?

Also, welcome to the forum!

 

[iAmMe]

You have a lot of insight into people, I can tell. I am not super confident on being INTP. There are some things, mostly the way they think that I really identify with, but in terms of behavior, not too sure. INTPs love to read and enjoy learning for learning's sake. So while I enjoy garnering info into peoples lives as to what they are good at (what they are good/expert at being key) has a great allure to me, I am not the type of person to take a friday afternoon to slog through a great scientists works and whatnot. Funny enough, my mom things I would make are really good counselor because I have just enough appeasement to people while coming up with encouraging real ways to solve peoples problems. I really do like to exhort people in true and meaningful ways and since I am the functional idealist that I am I can come up with reasonable solutions to people problems.

Ironically my father is an XSFJ. He is hard to talk to though because we are such different people. He does value harmony a lot, but he is also very tempermental - a characteristic I don't share in any way. He will get angry for god knows what reason and sometimes takes it out on other people. He is not the sharpest tool in the shed shall we say. He wears his emotions on his sleeve. He is one of those people that you can tell exactly how he is feeling at a mere glance. He has 2 emotions: happy go lucky and offended/angry/embarrassed. Also, I have extreme trust issues with him, he is the least composed person I have met. His flippant ignorant need for justice often took its toll on me as a young child and I still have a lot of emotional scars from my youth.



Yes, exactly this.

Ti/Si loop is in fact a real thing. I don't know how much I identify with it in a true INTP way though. Could be the case though.

You've said some very helpful things, thanks.

Okay. You aren't sure of the type. But maybe your behaviors are different because of nuture. The way that you've been raised could have changed some things on the surface. American society would have most everyone be an ESTJ...their "perfect little worker bee". Personally, I wouldn't give too much credence to your behaviors being seemingly different from mbti descriptions. I think MBTI actually pays too much attention to behavior with not enough emphasis on thought processes and the actual reasons and thoughts that lead to the various behaviors.

Also, the one statement that resonated with you about the cold inner world stifling your warm outer reception...that is the very nature of the Ti/Fe axis. This is exactly opposite for Fi/Te axes users. Fi/ Te users have these feelings and values wrapped in a warm inner world that can never seem to be expressed into the cold outer world via Te. Te sucks at explaining Fi. That's why so many strong Fi user are artists. Whatever type you are...you just really connected to that Ti/Fe axis. If you truly are an IxxP, and Ti/Fe resonates so strongly with you...what else can you be?

Happy I could be of service.

 

[iAmMe]

I guess Se and Ne are equally bad at misplacing things


hehe ringing endorsement.... Would you prefer games where you could play cooperatively with someone rather than against someone or alone?


I'd break, true, in more than one way

I'd be listening in as much as I could... This is so familiar, I'm starting to suspect a few people of being ESFPs *shifty eyes*. Thanks sis!


That good huh.... Are you a creative force? I mean, do you write your own songs/melodies?

Imagine you want to protect yourself in the olden-days somewhere in the woods, you find two swords stuck in the ground. One looks store-bought new, the other is kinda used and slightly beat up:

Which one do you grab? And in retrospect, why?

Would you rather perform every-time anew, or record a song and never perform that particular song again?

Would you lie to get your way?

Do you like to work towards small goals or one big goal in the future?

Definitely prefer the cooperative playing. It's like working as a team towards something. It's always more fun when people are on my side. Teams against teams would be fun too. I don't mind healthy competition. Alone or against another player are fine too. Just not preferred if there's an actual choice.

Eh. I attempt to write songs. I've started more than I've finished. I'm pretty good at improvising...big shocker...the ESFP who can improvise

Initially if I don't think too hard I grab the new pretty shiny one. I like it. It sparkles! Lol. J/k. The last part was me making fun of the stereotypes. My initial reaction actually is to grab the new one. The new one is new...it'll last longer in the long run, right? But the fact that this question is being posed at all makes me want to change my answer. Like no, this is definitely a trick question. The old one is tried and true. That's the one I should grab. I know that it'll work because it's worked before! Can I grab both??? Please? If one breaks I'll have the other.

I'd do it new and differently everytime. Like I said, improvising is great. You never know what's coming. I actually enjoy that feeling. I know it's kinda hard to really understand on this site.

I mean, it's not like I've never lied before, anyone whose said that is a liar. This is hard because it really does depend on the situation. I guess the end answer is yes. But the middle answer is only in very rare situations. And it makes me very uncomfortable. Sometimes lying is subjective, telling an outright falsehood is probably never but sometimes I'll tell half truths. Or I'll change my stance to fit the "lie" that's not really a lie because I changed some small less significant detail. Does that even make sense?

Small goals. I cant predict things that far (inferior Ni). Small goals are much less overwhelming and things will actually get done. We aren't xNTJs wanting to know and control the endgame at all times. Don't get me wrong, the endgame is great and important. But we have to be prepared for anything that may arise. Instead of planning for contengencies, I'll just slightly shift the endgame or at least how the end will eventually come about. My perceiving for the win... Lol. Smh.

 

[cheese]

If you like or dislike something, do you feel urged to share it with others? Do your feelings sort of spill out of you, even the little ones?

Really enjoying this thread btw.

 

[iAmMe]

Has your perspective concerning INTP changed since joining and participating in this forum?

Have you read any other threads on the forum? If so, which ones? Did any stand out as interesting to you?

Also, welcome to the forum!

My perspective concerning INTPs was actually very open. Partly because it's in my nature to always be open to people I don't know. But also because I really have very few INTP friends. Actually, only one INTP friend that I know of. We get along great, but we've been friends for a while, like 10 years. And it took us a long time to get to where we are now. There was alot of prying and teeth pulling on my end that pretty much went nowhere. To this day I don't know how we actually became friends. Lol.

I find INTPS to be... intriguing. You guys are like a puzzle. I never really "got" you. You're perspective is difficult for me to understand. Socionics calls Ti my "vulnerable function" whatever that means. But it's really hard for me to understand Ti. Reading some of the threads, I don't remember which, I think I understand better where you're coming from. But it's still an intellectual understanding. I don't relate. You guys have problems and concerns that I've never in my life though of ever having. I seen some of people on here break down social interactions into a science and it's never ever been that way for me. I'm fascinated and slightly amused, but not in a mean way, just in the way most everything amuses me. I've definitely learned some things.

And thanks for the welcome. I'm have fun. Is there anything else you'd like to ask someone of my type that you'd never ask in person?

 

[iAmMe]

If you like or dislike something, do you feel urged to share it with others? Do your feelings sort of spill out of you, even the little ones?

Really enjoying this thread btw.

Yes. Lol. That's pretty much how it happens. There was this video on youtube, I don't remember who put it up, but this guy described extroverting as brain dumping. Lol. While I think this is most accurate of Te users, it was a very good analogy for what happens when we talk, when I talk. It's like I'm literally dumping out my brain until I get to the point that I'm trying to reach. And I might not even know what that point is until I've reached it. This has to be so opposite from Ti users...

I can curb this to an extent in certain situations. Like a job interview...I always have to remind myself to really slow down and actually consider the words coming out of my mouth before I speak. If not...brain dump. Smh.

Glad you're enjoying my brain dumping. Lol. Feel free to ask more questions. You guys use Ne right? The possibilities are endless. Lol.

 

[cheese]

Haha, that's how I feel when I talk - brain-dumping till you get to the point you're trying to reach.

What's your moral system like? Can you violate it easily?

What causes you to detach emotionally from things (if ever)?

How do you feel when interacting with others compared to being by yourself? Brain-dump all your thoughts and feelings.

 

[Teax]

I seen some of people on here break down social interactions into a science and it's never ever been that way for me.

Then, how do you see social interactions?

Yeah you can see my Neness shine through the arbitrariness of my questions... Not everyone on this forum is actually an INTP though.

Do you play an instrument?

Is it hard to insult you? Do you tend to hold a grudge? Not that I'd want to insult you sis

How much do you tend to over-indulge? (In anything that the word "indulge" could be applied to)

INTPs are also initially open to people they don't know. You can just walk up to us and say random stuff, really anything. But you, I guess, are one who can actually do it? I mean actually walk up to people in person? How do you feel when doing so?

Assuming the others are having fun, would you likely get bored with one group-activity/game or are you usually the last one to get bored?

How often do you find yourself settling disputes among two others/friends?

Do cats like you?

 

[iAmMe]

What's your moral system like? Can you violate it easily?

Ummmm....wow. So far, this question has been the hardest and I don't know why. Probably cus you want me to explain my Fi and Te doesn't make it easy. Can you re-word the question?

If you really want an answer it'll help. Be more specific. This is too open ended. I can't narrow it to forum proportions...

 

[cheese]

Rewording:
How firm are your values?
What do they pertain to?
Do you feel the urge to share them with others, or are they more like an internal wound you nurse?
Do you feel the need to force them on others?
How do you feel internally (physically/mentally) when you see something which violates these values?
How do you feel when you violate them yourself?

More:
Do you feel they define you, at least in part?
Do you check them for consistency, or simply let them be?
Do you ever try to change them for practicality?
What happens when you try to explain them to other people? Do you ever get through to them, or do you clam up and give up?
How do you feel when someone misunderstands or even hates them?

I'm trying to understand Fi.

Sorry.

 

[Teax]

I've been trying to formulate an Fi question all this time with no luck. Thanks cheese!

sis, no pressure

 

[cheese]

Yay!

 

[iAmMe]

What causes you to detach emotionally from things (if ever)?

How do you feel when interacting with others compared to being by yourself? Brain-dump all your thoughts and feelings.

Detach emotionally from what?? People? I don't think I can detach from people once they've reached a certain level of closeness. Things, like material objects? I'm not a hoarder. I'm not attached to everything I buy in a store.

Detach from decisions? If I use my feeling function to make a decision then I probably won't detach from it in the way you mean. But I don't use Fi for everything under the sun. Say finances or something...that's Te.

And also, I just want to put into this comment, that I personally never considered myself to be an "emotional" person in the melodramatic sense of the word. But I do think that I base alot of decisions around how I "feel" about things. It's not like I'm falling in and out of love with things. It's more like a gut reaction than an emotional one. I don't think I'm emotionally attached to many things at all. It's takes a lot for me to really truly feel the connection that I think you might be referring to. Or maybe I'm just being thrown off by the wording. I don't know.

When I'm with other people, I like to describe it as a light being turned on. I feel illuminated and more energetic. When I'm alone, I'm a lot more calm, I'm comfortable, I'm chill. People don't always tend to realize that or see that side unless we live together or they see me working on something. Or I don't like them, Lol. The last part is a joke. It's take a lot for me to really not like you in that way.

 

[cheese]

iAmMe:
Huh. I guess detachment is so much a part of most of us here that it's surprising to see confusion. I'll explain more when I'm back from work. Interesting response.

As an aside:
Teax, I'm quite enjoying the belligerent relish you imbue the word 'sis' with.

 

[iAmMe]

I guess I'll go for the Fi questions since that seems to be more coveted. Lol.

Rewording:
How firm are your values?

If I was an Fi Dom they would probably alot more firm. As it stands. I don't think that I'm very difficult to persuade with logic, but then again, I might completely acknowledge your logic, then totally disregard in lieu of my former opinion. Se doms are generally very open minded to accepting incoming information. But our reactions to the information is mostly reactionary. It's how we feel in that exact moment about the subject at hand.

What do they pertain to?

Faith/religion mostly. Some philosophical points, but not really because I don't know that I've take in enough to truly for a true opinion that I can actually stand behind. It's funny because some xNTJs will say that we're easy to persuade and in a way we are but not in the way they think. They may feel less of us for giving up so easy but it's more like we've never had a true Fi stance, only the initial gut reaction. In order to really have a stance, it would need to marinate for much longer than it has. We/I don't just take it upon myself to think about larger humanity issues so its kind of like I haven't settled on any point yet. Once again...I'm a perciever. And Fi Dom might have taken a stance much more readily than I.

I guess it is more philosophical in a way, but I never see it as that. It's more like "personal philosophies". So yeah, it is some overall moral standard.

Do you feel the urge to share them with others, or are they more like an internal wound you nurse?

I can share but generally I won't unless we're really close. You can definitely think about it as the introverted side of the ESFP. I guides but very rarely leads. Probably similar for the ENFP. Very trusted guide for the best way to use that Se/Ne.

Do you feel the need to force them on others?

No. If I'm close to you I might have some expectations that you feel a similar way. But generally a large part of Fi is that we need to be true to ourselves and we want others to be true to themselves. We usually won't compromise our beliefs but we find the greatest possible way for coexistence. Fe is more about other people and the overall atmosphere. But Fi resonates inside. Normally, its not trying to dictate to others. But it can be confused for Fe because it also wants harmony. It just wants it in a different way. It doesn't think anyone should compromise. It's kind of selfish. Everyone should have in them the ability to establish their own inner morals and follow them so that everything can be sweet candies and rainbows and we can all get along and care about each other and live in lala land. Lol.

How do you feel internally (physically/mentally) when you see something which violates these values?

Desperately sad. Sometimes anger. My heart aches...

How do you feel when you violate them yourself?

I don't know if this happens... I guess it can, but only accidentally. Like I've been known to accidently offend people before. But I'm pretty easy on myself because I'm pretty easy on everyone else too. What's more likely than violation is morals slightly shifting to allow room for growth.

Do you feel they define you, at least in part?

In part, yes. They guide and place boundaries and set goals.

Do you check them for consistency, or simply let them be?

Let them be until something happens, or I have to give thought to a decision or someone starts asking questions. This is probably more specific to my type. An N user will probably check more often. That's probably why INFP is greatest at explanations.

Do you ever try to change them for practicality?

Actively try to change my gut reaction?? Actively try to change my morals? Not really. They might change but not from any purposeful effort on my part. For most everyday things, I can be practical and still stick to my values. It's only for deep philosophical things ( which I generally don't see as practical to begin with) and major life changing decisions that I will take a step back and really try to weigh pros and cons and make a Te choice.

What happens when you try to explain them to other people? Do you ever get through to them, or do you clam up and give up?

If theyre an Fi user, they get it. Besides that, I only really try to explain to close friends or give vague explanations on personality forums. Lol. Sometimes when I talk about serious or negative emotions, it can be harder for me to talk about. But probably nowhere near as hard as you all. Lol. Its mostly hard because the English language is too limited and things are likely to come out discombobulated and distorted. And also it can take a while for us to know where we stand on things, that can make it harder as well. Where you want to talk about morals, what really comes out is Fi confusion and insecurities. It's why it's reserved for bffls and bfs and people we know won't judge harshly.

If I'm more sure of a stance, I'll talk about it much more readily to a slightly wider range of audience.

How do you feel when someone misunderstands or even hates them?

Such is life... it's a phrase I use often. They'll be alright, I'll be alright. It would be great if you can understand where I'm coming from but if you can't then...such is life. It's a very live and let live attitude that we have about the world.

 

[iAmMe]

Then, how do you see social interactions?

Yeah you can see my Neness shine through the arbitrariness of my questions... Not everyone on this forum is actually an INTP though.

Do you play an instrument?

Is it hard to insult you? Do you tend to hold a grudge? Not that I'd want to insult you sis

How much do you tend to over-indulge? (In anything that the word "indulge" could be applied to)

INTPs are also initially open to people they don't know. You can just walk up to us and say random stuff, really anything. But you, I guess, are one who can actually do it? I mean actually walk up to people in person? How do you feel when doing so?

Assuming the others are having fun, would you likely get bored with one group-activity/game or are you usually the last one to get bored?

How often do you find yourself settling disputes among two others/friends?

Do cats like you?

To be truthful, I never really thought about it before MBTI. I just did what felt natural. But I guess if it's not a science then it's more of an art maybe? Its kind of like if it works, then it works. It's been so long since I've had any real issues in general social situations. There was never a real reason to break it down. The most I'd do is actively plan out what I want to say in a given situation. Like on the chance me and my best friend get into a friend tiff, I'll take a moment or a day and actually consider what I'm going to say and how it might be received. I flesh out the points I really want to get across. But this is only something that I do out of necessity...if I feel I need to. Its pretty rare. Most of the time it's just open ended. Idk. I guess it is an art. I improvise. Wow...never really thought about it.

I play piano, very badly. Guitar even worse and a teeny tiny bit of clarinet, but I haven't picked it up in years. But it's not exceptionally hard. I could probably pick it up and remember pretty easily.

It's very difficult to insult me. Grudges don't last. A week tops. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Can't really be too insulted by people I don't know who don't know me. Close friends and family can easily do the most damage. But I mean...I don't know if most people are capable of doing the things that it would require for me to shut them out of my life in a permanent way. Idk. But I currently hold no grudges and the longest one I've held recently was probably only 3 days and they were back in my good graces.

I'm currently over indulging on this website. Lol. I need to be sleeping but here I am typing away. Lol. I probably over indulge on Netflix. I try to keep my over indulgence away from my finances. Lol.

Lol!! I love the way you word this question. I can read the shock value. And I'm a little slap happy cus I need to be sleeping. Yes, I've walked up to people before and said stuff. Once again, I never really thought about it until after I got into personality theories. I knew I was extroverted and outgoing and optimistic and pretty good at talking to people but I never imagined how other people might see that as extremely bold or odd or straight crazy. I just do it. Easiest way is to start with I compliment. "I love your blank. Where did you get it?" Or a simple observation about a shared experience. Or a "Hi" immediately followed by a question. Only breaking it down because maybe others will benefit from it. I generally feel however I express in the random comment made to the random person.


The obvious answer is that I'm definitely the last one to get bored. But even this depends on the company and the activity. Even for me, I wouldn't want to be sitting at party where I really didn't know anyone. I might make a friend by the end of said party, but I really wouldn't want to be super open to everyone just because. If they're all or mostly people I know then, I'll gladly be the last one home.

Not as often as you'd expect. But maybe that's cus of the way it's worded. I don't generally play mediator to two friends. That requires asserting myself into the middle of a conflict that isn't mine to begin with. What's more likely is a friend will rant about a problem they have and I'll give them my thoughts on the situation. I'm usually much more positive than said complaining friend. And my positive outlook can either be accepted as a better way of viewing things or it can be disregarded. Really, I just want to see my friends happy. Social stress doesn't weigh on me and I don't want it to way on them. Generally it's an Fe user thinking too much about other people and not enough about themselves. Or an Estp starting drama that they weren't trying to start but they couldn't stop their tougue... yeah.

Cats are cool. Can't tell you how they feel though. Just how I feel about them lol.

I need to be shorter winded... Lol. Sorry, I get longer and less coherent when I'm tired. If something doesn't make since let me know and I'll get back to u in about 10 hours. Lol.

 

[iAmMe]

I would just like to interject here and say that I'm sorry if I'm coming off as some social guru. It's really not like that. I freely admit that I get along good with most people, but my social blunders are many. They're just different from what an xNTP might experience in social intereractions.

My social blunders include...Coming off way too strong, too loud, too excited, too energetic to the point where a some might call me obnoxious. Talking too much about myself and listening too little to others. Laughing and being too flippant about thingas that are supposed to be seen as serious. And under "reading" a situation. Some N types will read too much between the lines and see things that aren't there. They over use their intuition. I do the oppisite. I'm very straight foward and pretty much mean everything that I say and say in the nicest possible way that it can be said. But sometimes people will give meaning to my words that I didn't intend. Or someone will say something that can be left to interpretation and I'll get the interpretation wrong and be left having to make up for the error.

So when I say that I improvise, it's very accurate. But that doesn't mean I don't run into problems, make mistakes and on occasion argue with people. I just don't see it as a formula. It's action and reaction.

Just wanted to clarify because I'm really not here to try and give off the wrong impression. I'm sure there are other social errors I've made as well but this is what comes off the top of my head. They're always accidental. I'd never intentionally insult someone. But I might say the first thing that comes to my head and accidentally insult someone. I'm sure most people have done this.

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Do you believe in God?

 

[marceedoodles]

Ask away. I'm extremely bored at the moment...

1. how many INTPs have you met in real life?
2. what do you think about us?
3. what do you think about other ESFPs?
4. do you think there should be an ESFP forum?

 

[iAmMe]

1. how many INTPs have you met in real life?
2. what do you think about us?
3. what do you think about other ESFPs?
4. do you think there should be an ESFP forum?

1. Only one that I know of. There's one other that I suspect, but I'm not positive.

2. So far so good. Nothing really bad to say. I think INTPs tend to be more introverted when compared other introverts, which can be excruciating when I'm in the mood for dialogue. But I can find an awkward INTP to be really endearing. I find that I actually get your humor most of the time and can take it with all of its dryness for what it is. I don't know. This is a very broad question. Altogether good thoughts. I don't think I have bad thoughts about any of the types as a whole. It encompasses too many people and too many variables.

3. We're AWESOME!!! LOL. What type doesn't like others of their own type? Meeting your type is like communing with family.

4. Eh. I think the majority of ESFPs will opt for a more "social" social media, if you get my meaning. We don't care so much for being impersonal. It could be cool to talk about stuff on a forum though. I obviously think its cool, but i can also see how I'd much rather go out in person and meet people.

 

[iAmMe]

​

Do you believe in God?

Yes.

Do I want to expand on that answer?

No. Just take it for what it is. Religion starts drama, especially online where everything is so impersonal. I'm not in the mood for argument. I'm NEVER in the mood for argument.

My religious beliefs touch on Fi and its something I'm much more comfortable talking about one on one with people who I think might reciprocate.

Maybe an ESFP who values religion and faith much less than I do will be able to talk that subject with you. Or maybe not... I don't actually know.

 

[Teax]

Don't worry, you're not coming off as preachy. More like, fascinating. Everything you said makes sense... I can safely say I've learned more about SeFi in this thread than from all that browsing the ESFP forums on Personality-Cafe back in my MBTI obsession days.

Interesting how you have a common foundation for fun, e.g. performing, and for social interactions alike. It's this whole Se in-the-moment thing. So because you're in your element all the time, you don't give it a second thought. Well INTPs still do it, but that's just because their element is to give it a second thought. How far does your comfort zone reach, do you require alone-time ever?

Coming off way too strong, too loud, too excited, too energetic to the point where a some might call me obnoxious. Talking too much about myself and listening too little to others.

Hyper? Do you recognize yourself/your former self in this gif?:

Being longer-winded when tired is something we have in common. But it's not like I say much to begin with... Do you often re-think what you said....re-read your posts/mail.... or even regret something you said too spontaneously?

Would you watch horror movies for fun, or do you rather avoid them?

That's quite a variety. What made you pick up those particular instruments? And does playing hold the same "fun" as singing? (or do you also improvise here? )

Yeah this website is a venus trap.

So, sis, if I hug you and freeze, how long will it take until you're bored or are trying to free yourself?

Do you know any Fe dom/aux users? How do you perceive Fe compared to yourself?

 

[iAmMe]

Don't worry, you're not coming off as preachy. More like, fascinating. Everything you said makes sense... I can safely say I've learned more about SeFi in this thread than from all that browsing the ESFP forums on Personality-Cafe back in the MBTI obsession days.

Interesting how you have a common foundation for fun, e.g. performing, and for social interactions alike. It's this whole Se in-the-moment thing. So because you're in your element all the time, you don't give it a second thought. Well INTPs still do it, but that's just because their element is to give it a second thought. How far does your comfort zone reach, do you require alone-time ever?

Yay! Glad to know that I've been of service. I've also been browsing this forum trying to understand Ti. It does help. Possibly more than trying to talk to an INTP in person. Are you more outgoing online than in person? Or do you think the online you and physical you are pretty equal for express-ability? (Sorry for turning the questions on you. I've answered quite a lot and my thirst for knowledge is growing. How can I be your sis if all I know about you is your type? Lol. )

Comfort zone in a social situation? If I'm in at a social event and I don't know anybody, then I'm probably not comfortable. Does that answer the question? Add one really close friend and I feel soooo much better. Add one acquaintance and...still relatively uncomfortable. All acquaintances at the event...that's okay. In the first scenario, where I don't know anybody, I'd want to leave, but that doesn't mean that I WANT to be alone, only that I prefer my own company at the moment. The only time I feel I NEED to be alone is when I'm either very tired or feeling very emotional, negatively emotional. What's happened plenty of times is , I'll be with people all day long and then I'll get home at the end of the day and only when I'm finally alone, the exhaustion will hit me like a ton of bricks. Lol. I'll crash. But I could probably still do that again the next day and be okay with it. It's a really good crash, the best rest ever. I never notice that I'm tired in that way until I'm home alone.

Hyper? Do you recognize yourself/your former self in this gif?

Yes. LOL.

Do you often re-think what you said....re-read your posts/mail.... or even regret something you said too spontaneously?

Yes. Yes. And yes. A lot of times my stance on what I've said hasn't changed, but I might find that there was definitely a better way to express it. When I'm typing or texting, this happens less. I reread and revise a lot before I actually post. I've heard that Te is constantly revising previous statements. We'll say something and then restate it 8 different ways before we feel it accurately expresses what we want to say and then move on to the next statement that needs to be fleshed out. But when I'm typing, you're actually seeing closer to a completed version. There are a lot of stops and starts that you can't see. I'll type out a sentence and then backspace and completely start all over. If we were in person, you could probably see it all unfold. Or it may just be less articulated and harder to understand...idk. But I've heard that ESFPs can talk in circles and I agree. It's sort of like a downward spiral that is leading toward some point at the very end.

Would you watch horror movies for fun, or do you rather avoid them?

I tend to avoid them. If I'm with friends and I'm outvoted then sure I'll watch, but I'll be less scared because there will be other people there that I know.

That's quite a variety. What made you pick up those particular instruments? And does playing hold the same "fun" as singing? (or do you also improvise here? )

Variety? In my world that's very little. I might have been a music major in college and I know people who are much better at a lot more instruments than that. If you're a music ed. major, you have to learn the basics of a good 20 or so instruments so that you can teach the basics to your students. I actually played clarinet first...middle school band. I had to be in it and that's what I chose. Piano...VERY important. I couldn't not learn if I tried. I'm a singer. I have to know either piano or guitar. And I've only recently started guitar. During college, I was thinking that I might want to go into music therapy (not so much anymore) and in music therapy, guitar is used more than piano, so I just started teaching myself using youtube videos and getting tips from friends. I'm still very much a beginner. Playing would be just as fun if I was just as good at it as I was at singing. But I'm not. Can't really improvise on those instruments because my skill level is lacking. I really need to practice. :/

Anyway, singing definitely holds a special place in my heart. <3

So, sis, if I hug you and freeze, how long will it take until you're bored or are trying to free yourself?

LOL. Would you/ have you ever done something like this? LOL. Um, hugs like this are likely to turn into dancing. Is that what you were expecting?

Do you know any Fe dom/aux users? How do you perceive Fe compared to yourself?

My best friend is an Fe dom. We have our moments. We can definitely clash. I think she cares too much about what other people think of her. Her life is her life and she really lets others affect the way she goes about doing things. Sometimes I feel like she's tip-toeing around trying not to step on toes. It can be annoying sometimes. It was A LOT annoying before I knew MBTI. Fi usually feels like Fe isn't genuine. Even now, my initial reaction is that it's fake. I know its not, intellectually, I know that its compromising, but Fi just sees it as not being true to who you really are. Fe changes everything based on the company it keeps. It's VERY different from me. I'm the same with most everyone all the time. Obviously, you need to be strategic about some interactions, like professional work interactions or something similar. But Fe is like a permanent mask that can't be taken off. The Fe/Ti axis is just so different from how I operate.

On the other hand, she gets annoyed about my abysmal procrastination, and my tendencies to keep too many things open ended. She mostly rubs against my "Perceiver". I think if she could come over to my house and order my whole life, she probably would. Lol. She's AMAZING at giving advice though. I don't hold a candle to her. And at times, she'll want advice and I just won't know what to tell her. Fi tends to need experience to work off of. If you're asking me about a situation that I've never been in, its really hard for me to relate. But if I can relate, then, I can feel really connected to you. I think experience is the main thing holding us to each other. We have similar stories and they connected us. We're soo different, but so close. It's funny.

Here's one more question for you...do you know any ESFP at all or is that just a non-entity in your life?

 

[TheScornedReflex]

​

Yes.

Do I want to expand on that answer?

No. Just take it for what it is. Religion starts drama, especially online where everything is so impersonal. I'm not in the mood for argument. I'm NEVER in the mood for argument.

My religious beliefs touch on Fi and its something I'm much more comfortable talking about one on one with people who I think might reciprocate.

Maybe an ESFP who values religion and faith much less than I do will be able to talk that subject with you. Or maybe not... I don't actually know.

I like you ^^

 

[cheese]

I relate to most of what you say, iAmMe. I think a lot of what you're describing might be general ExxP stuff. (I think I'm ENTP.)

The stuff I say in the moment is real - no calculation.
I blurt out what I feel.
I randomly compliment without realising it might be taken the wrong way.
I'm very extroverted if I have at least 1 friend around - that's generally the base level I need to feel comfortable, though sometimes not even that. (I was surprised to see you say you need at least 1 acquaintance to feel comfortable - I thought that disqualified me from social extroversion.)
I relate to what you said about Fi as well, though I'm pretty sure I'm naturally a Fe user. It's personal, you don't bother explaining unless you trust the person to be able to roughly understand, because it's too much effort to explain something mostly ineffable otherwise.
You respond in an honest, direct way which I relate to as well.
"Meeting your type is like communing with family" - yes. I know this is a general point, but yes.

Coming off way too strong, too loud, too excited, too energetic to the point where a some might call me obnoxious. Talking too much about myself and listening too little to others. Laughing and being too flippant about thingas that are supposed to be seen as serious. And under "reading" a situation. Some N types will read too much between the lines and see things that aren't there. They over use their intuition. I do the oppisite. I'm very straight foward and pretty much mean everything that I say and say in the nicest possible way that it can be said. But sometimes people will give meaning to my words that I didn't intend. Or someone will say something that can be left to interpretation and I'll get the interpretation wrong and be left having to make up for the error.

This too. There's a bluntness and directness to ExxPs (maybe extroverts in general) that other people don't seem to get. Authenticity? It leaves people scrambling to find hidden meaning/offense in what we've said while we too are scrambling to figure out what else we could possibly have appeared to mean. Simplicity appears more complex than it is.

More thoughts but need to sleep.

 

[Teax]

How can I be your sis if all I know about you is your type? Lol.

if you phrase it like that

It depends. Online, it's easier to be abstract and talk to groups of people. Theorize, figure stuff out.... what we're doing in this thread. But I believe it's not about being online - it's about having sufficient time to come to a conclusion which I do not feel (too) awkward about sharing. Having control over the channel of communication, which means not having to worry about facial expressions and tone screwing up an interesting conversation. Having the freedom to be distracted anytime for any reason <-- I get lots of mileage out of that one. Also, if I feel anonymous enough, Fe allows itself to be seen.

Spoiler

At the same time, online can get stressful with all the potential for misunderstanding and the obsessive over-analyzing it triggers. When babbling about sth. too unspecific, sth. I don't feel sure about, pitching ideas or indulging in endless possibilities.... it's easier in person. There's no record. It's all fleeting... I might even not remember exactly what I said last time I saw you.

Anyway. If I'm unsure what to say.... what anyone might care to hear about... it's easier to just say nothing. Online or not. So if you want to know something, you'll have to ask. I'll be happy to react. Otherwise I'll remain happily oblivious.

Actually, only one INTP friend that I know of. We get along great, but we've been friends for a while, like 10 years. And it took us a long time to get to where we are now. There was alot of prying and teeth pulling on my end that pretty much went nowhere.

I suspect your question was related to this? What kind of teeth pulling? And what do you mean by getting nowhere?


How do you react to criticism? Healthy habits aside, does it "hit" you a little?

In the first scenario, where I don't know anybody, I'd want to leave, but that doesn't mean that I WANT to be alone, only that I prefer my own company at the moment.

So, it's not like you actually enjoy being around people, more like you enjoy some specific connections/friendships?

When there's one person I know well in a crowded place, I feel like I'm alone in that hall with that person. How do you find fun stuff to do? I mean, what role do the other people play in the experience when you're with a friend already?

Anyway, singing definitely holds a special place in my heart. <3

Is there a lot to learn in college that would help composing music or do they mostly teach the practical aspect of performing (Like those basics of various instruments)?

LOL. Would you/ have you ever done something like this? LOL. Um, hugs like this are likely to turn into dancing. Is that what you were expecting?

Certainly not what I expected Attempting to dance is a sure-fire way for me to detach. But then again being my sis you might have had some power to change that. Dunno.... And yes I'd try it on you (sis) in one of my Fe moments. At home. Though - I found it impossible to hug anyone beyond parents/siblings.

Yes. Yes. And yes. A lot of times my stance on what I've said hasn't changed, but I might find that there was definitely a better way to express it. When I'm typing or texting, this happens less. I reread and revise a lot before I actually post. I've heard that Te is constantly revising previous statements. We'll say something and then restate it 8 different ways before we feel it accurately expresses what we want to say and then move on to the next statement that needs to be fleshed out. But when I'm typing, you're actually seeing closer to a completed version. There are a lot of stops and starts that you can't see. I'll type out a sentence and then backspace and completely start all over. If we were in person, you could probably see it all unfold. Or it may just be less articulated and harder to understand...idk. But I've heard that ESFPs can talk in circles and I agree. It's sort of like a downward spiral that is leading toward some point at the very end.

This explains a lot. I found it takes more effort to listen to ESxx "live". So I was unsure what to make of your uncharacteristically coherent replies . It looks like we end up using the same method of iteration-before-posting, being constrained by forum. Btw that's pretty much how Ti works.

Here's one more question for you...do you know any ESFP at all or is that just a non-entity in your life?

I'm way too bad at typing people to say for sure. Or maybe it's just that I don't hang around any ESxx long enough. I suspect at least 2 people to be ESFPs, one of whom will keep playing a part of my life for a long while to come. And this thread, the similarities are striking. I'm actually getting close to typing someone IRL! Yay!

 

[iAmMe]

if you phrase it like that

It depends. Online, it's easier to be abstract and talk to groups of people. Theorize, figure stuff out.... what we're doing in this thread. But I believe it's not about being online - it's about having sufficient time to come to a conclusion which I do not feel (too) awkward about sharing. Having control over the channel of communication, which means not having to worry about facial expressions and tone screwing up an interesting conversation. Having the freedom to be distracted anytime for any reason <-- I get lots of mileage out of that one. Also, if I feel anonymous enough, Fe allows itself to be seen.

Spoiler

At the same time, online can get stressful with all the potential for misunderstanding and the obsessive over-analyzing it triggers. When babbling about sth. too unspecific, sth. I don't feel sure about, pitching ideas or indulging in endless possibilities.... it's easier in person. There's no record. It's all fleeting... I might even not remember exactly what I said last time I saw you.

Anyway. If I'm unsure what to say.... what anyone might care to hear about... it's easier to just say nothing. Online or not. So if you want to know something, you'll have to ask. I'll be happy to react. Otherwise I'll remain happily oblivious.


I suspect your question was related to this? What kind of teeth pulling? And what do you mean by getting nowhere?

Yeah. Im trying to see the similarities. And I definitely do. Some of it is stuff I already reasoned out. Like he likes to text and I figured it was becuase it gave him more time to think of the answer and articulate in an acceptable way to him. But face expressions and tone is important. I can't read minds but if I say something funny, it's nice to see a smile and hear a laugh.

At the time that we met, I really didn't have a lot of introverted friends and I wasn't used to having to draw people out of their heads. It was just like you said, if I wanted to know something, I had to ask. But the younger me was an even worse listener than the older me and it took me a while to realize that and to know what questions to ask to get the response I wanted. And getting nowhere in my eyes because I felt like he knew everything there was to know about me and I knew absolutely nothing about him. But I guess I wasn't asking enough questions. I actually care about the little tiny details in your life and that's why I'd tell him the little tiny details of mine. That's how I talk and connect, but it wasn't reciprocated in any way, shape or form. Mostly I just thought he was annoyed with me. Lol. I couldn't read him. He's so stoic and monotone. But he wasn't going anywhere so eventually I got to know him and we're actually good friends now. He's easier to read now. But it took so long to get there. It's partly because we were soo young and have both matured considerably and even if we don't necessarily understand all the differences, we've definitely accepted them.

How do you react to criticism? Healthy habits aside, does it "hit" you a little?

Healthy habits aside? Sure it does. I'll get defensive. But I also think with me, it matters where the criticism is coming from as well as what it's addressing. But no matter who or what, I'll try to go and consider what was said. I might get defensive initially but that doesn't mean I don't think that there's value in what you're saying. I'll weigh the critique and try to be as objective as possible and ask others for their opinions before I decide whether it was valid and what steps should be taken.

So, it's not like you actually enjoy being around people, more like you enjoy some specific connections/friendships?

Yeah, pretty much. Very much idividualistic. But I do like to meet people too, the start of these friendships and connections. But like, going to party alone with no one I know is not that fun. I don't need to go to a party to meet a new person. The mall is sufficient. The library even. Lol. Its not the numbers, it's the relationships.

How do you find fun stuff to do? I mean, what role do the other people play in the experience when you're with a friend already?

How does anyone find fun stuff to do? I'm not that picky. My activity list is not a mile long although maybe it is for some ESFPs. If I was rich, I'd have an activity list 100 miles long. Alas I'm not. Lol.

Other people... It depends... I don't know if you've noticed, but EVERYTHING seems to depend! Lol. Why don't I ever have a straight answer?? Most of the time, it'll probably be similar to you, others won't matter at all. The only exception I can think of is if we're at like a concert or something. Then the crowd is feeding the energy and if it's crazy crowded, I'd probably start talking to whoever was closest because it's good to talk to someone who you know you'll be bumping elbows with for the next two hours. Lol.

Is there a lot to learn in college that would help composing music or do they mostly teach the practical aspect of performing (Like those basics of various instruments)?

I think this might depend on the school. My school was great for music education majors. As well as performing majors. I had a few friends in the music composition classes and they never complained and I know that they had composition homework and sometimes the various performing groups on campus would perform student pieces but I don't know exactly how helpful those classes were. My school focused on classical and jazz. There really wasn't much else so the composition students were required to take a ton of theory classes. And theory does help you compose. So I guess in all, college helped. Understanding the underlying patterns to just about any and every song gives you quite a few options to choose from when writing your own music.

Certainly not what I expected Attempting to dance is a sure-fire way for me to detach. But then again being my sis you might have had some power to change that. Dunno.... And yes I'd try it on you (sis) in one of my Fe moments. At home. Though - I found it impossible to hug anyone beyond parents/siblings.

Lol. "At home" Lol. I love this qualifier. It's okay, my one INTP friend only gives awkward side hugs. Lol. Glad I could shock you with the response. Lol. Smh.

This explains a lot. I found it takes more effort to listen to ESxx "live". So I was unsure what to make of your uncharacteristically coherent replies . It looks like we end up using the same method of iteration-before-posting, being constrained by forum. Btw that's pretty much how Ti works.

Hey, I did have get through college writing papers and whatnot. I can't be completely illiterate. Lol. How can we build the friend base that we do if nobody understood what the heck we were saying? Most of the things that Ti does inside the head, Te will do outside the head via our mouths. We can jump from subject to subject and then come back and then a different subject in between that then finally back to the main cause of the discussion. Then a period and a "I know I jumped a bit, but did you get all that?" Lol.

Once again, glad I could help. I also haven't typed many people in my life. My sister is really hard. I know she's an NF. It's strikingly obvious. But besides that, idk. Maybe ENFJ? And besides her, not many people at all. I think the number is 3. My 3 closest friends. Lately I've been trying to do some of my coworkers, but I don't think I know them well enough. :/

 

[QuickTwist]

Do you like cheesumpuffs?

 

[iAmMe]

I relate to most of what you say, iAmMe. I think a lot of what you're describing might be general ExxP stuff. (I think I'm ENTP.)

Glad you can relate, cheese. I also feel that there are a lot of similarities between ExxPs. Or any group that has two letters the same... What's funny is that I'm constantly comparing myself to ESTP and ENFP and much less with the ENTP. It guess it's because both middle two letters are different.

I'm very extroverted if I have at least 1 friend around - that's generally the base level I need to feel comfortable, though sometimes not even that. (I was surprised to see you say you need at least 1 acquaintance to feel comfortable - I thought that disqualified me from social extroversion.)

I like to have a tag-a-long. Lol. A wing person. It eases the tension. I can make acquaintances easily enough but having someone else there is much better. Like Teax reiterated, it's more about relationships than just having random people around all the time.

I relate to what you said about Fi as well, though I'm pretty sure I'm naturally a Fe user. It's personal, you don't bother explaining unless you trust the person to be able to roughly understand, because it's too much effort to explain something mostly ineffable otherwise.

Are you sure that this isn't your response to Ti? That is, you think your thoughts are personal and I think my feelings and values are personal. OR if you do feel this way about your feelings, is it because Fe is so much lower in you stack? Do you feel that your emotions and values are hard for you to understand or just hard to explain and articulate?

You respond in an honest, direct way which I relate to as well.

For me, this is a combination of Se and Te. Although, "direct" can be argued against. We've been known for jumping around. Lol. But I get your point. We definitely mean what we say.

There's a bluntness and directness to ExxPs (maybe extroverts in general) that other people don't seem to get. Authenticity? It leaves people scrambling to find hidden meaning/offense in what we've said while we too are scrambling to figure out what else we could possibly have appeared to mean. Simplicity appears more complex than it is.

Do you think that maybe the majority of people feel that they're being straightforward and direct when they aren't?? Maybe what makes it difficult for people to communicate is this 16 type classification leaving us questioning other's intentions and word choice. Maybe we commune readily with others of our same type because of this broken barrier in communication. They just get it already without any explanations.

Then again, it's really only the strong Fe that comes off as less authentic to me.

And then there are those occurance when people are being deliberately cryptic...

 

[iAmMe]

Do you like cheesumpuffs?

So random. Lol. Yes. But I've been staying away from cheese and dairy products lately.

 

[Teax]

But face expressions and tone is important. I can't read minds but if I say something funny, it's nice to see a smile and hear a laugh.

Oh so you wanna see the dumb grin on my face?

I actually care about the little tiny details in your life and that's why I'd tell him the little tiny details of mine. That's how I talk and connect, but it wasn't reciprocated in any way, shape or form.

You do??!? I remember, back when, wondering about people just talking about their life or about something they accidentally stepped into and it's not even really that boring... but it always seemed like such a conversational dead end. Because, inevitably, there comes the dreaded blank stare which made me feel awkward about not knowing what to do. Make it stop, make it stop! Lol. How could I have figured that anyone would do that to me because they cared. I've learned since to defuse the situation better with some randomness. And avoid people (more so) that might give me the stare.

So basically that life-play-back is the ESFP(and probably many other types) way to ask a question, without actually asking any question. Yeah I sort of suspected this is how it might work, but it's so open ended.... You're not as straight-forward as I thought I like to interact, but I have to feel the need for the response. And how do I identify those..... What do you tell about yourself when you want to know something?

Oh! Did I miss any clues in this thread? Did you hope that I would elaborate on something and are now disappointed about me keeping something to myself? I didn't mean to, honest

I find INTPS to be... intriguing. You guys are like a puzzle. I never really "got" you.

As you can see, I can totally relate You people are like a puzzle.

How do I phrase criticism such as to minimize you getting defensive?

Imagine you're at home, some friends ask you to come out and accompany them. But you refuse (suspenseful gasp from the audience). Not because of appointments, but something else was more interesting. Can you think of a thing?

There's the musical notation, intervals, Circle of fifths and chord progressions, tone scales, rhythm... stuff like that are pretty much just the basics. Can you remember how some more advanced topics in music theory which you guys were taught were called? I wonder what hides behind those walls.

In jazz, it's common to put two chord in top of each other, like C over Dm. Can you explain why it's those two particular chords? (I mean sure you can move this stepwise, e.g. C# over D#m, but the interval between the chords remains). Did they teach anything about that or did they just "mention it's possible" like college tends to do more often than not.

All I can think of is that the notes form all kinds of different chords together, so in total we get Dm, F, Am, C. But the notes E and F are dissonant! Ok, they're not played directly next to each other, but 1 octave apart, but still, dissonant, right?

my one INTP friend only gives awkward side hugs.

Then you're basically fami.... Wait how is a hug not awkward, like ever? Is that even possible?

Most of the things that Ti does inside the head, Te will do outside the head via our mouths. We can jump from subject to subject and then come back and then a different subject in between that then finally back to the main cause of the discussion. Then a period and a "I know I jumped a bit, but did you get all that?" Lol.

Contrary to how Ti is often misunderstood, Ti's influence is not about being all inside the head. It's about coherence. So when I have a puzzle in front of me, I could say I'm manipulating the puzzle in my head, but I'm also using the actual physical puzzle pieces to help me think. In that way Ti will look like Te until I figure it all out, at which point I lose interest to actually finish the puzzle, because I already know enough about how the solution will look like.

Te on the other hand (I have a Te dom or maybe aux friend) seems to me also about coherence, but Te cares about coherence with the physical world, rather than the coherence of the principle behind it all. And to create coherence in the physical world, they (Te doms) usually have to "do it".

So, was this one of those moments where it was that type of hidden question, or did I just go on a tangent?

Once again, glad I could help. I also haven't typed many people in my life. My sister is really hard. I know she's an NF. It's strikingly obvious. But besides that, idk. Maybe ENFJ? And besides her, not many people at all. I think the number is 3. My 3 closest friends. Lately I've been trying to do some of my coworkers, but I don't think I know them well enough. :/

Yeah typing siblings is really hard, you see too many sides of them which don't really fit the stereotypes or functions.

I encountered the situation that (especially when we need to get something done), if I say, do, or.... react in any way really, the (potential) ESFP sometimes can not let go. There's always going to be some sort continuation to the conversation which could potentially go on forever and nothing would ever get done. Can you identify with this? And what can I do to pause a conversation gently but... firmly?

 

[iAmMe]

Oh so you wanna see the dumb grin on my face?

Hahaha...sure thing. It's validation of my comedic abilities. And I'm sure it's not dumb. Lol.

So basically that life-play-back is the ESFP(and probably many other types) way to ask a question, without actually asking any question. Yeah I sort of suspected this is how it might work, but it's so open ended.... You're not as straight-forward as I thought I like to interact, but I have to feel the need for the response. And how do I identify those..... What do you tell about yourself when you want to know something?

Oh! Did I miss any clues in this thread? Did you hope that I would elaborate on something and are now disappointed about me keeping something to myself? I didn't mean to, honest

I think it's hilarious how it sounds like you're being tortured because you have to listen to rambling. Lol. Like something was done to you...because you had to listen...Smh. I never realized that I was torturing people with my words. Lol. And yes, I do care.

You want me to tell you when it's the right time to talk in a conversation? I can't tell you that. Every conversation is different. I don't know. I guess when I tell a story or something it's with the hopes that you'll find it either interesting or amusing. If you have zero response to said story then I'll probably think you didn't find it interesting or amusing. I'll think you didn't care and find me annoying or you just have no common experience to relate to my story. When I'm talking about my life or something, I don't have any questions in mind. In that way it is very open ended. But I guess the question I'm always asking is, can you relate? If you can...how? And if you can't, I want to know that too so that I'm not left trying to fill up the awkward silence and strambling to think of a question I can ask to get the conversation to a topic you can relate to. I'm trying to relate to you! Lol. And amuse you to some extent.

As for this thread...there are a billion things that you could have expanded on and I would've been completely okay with that. Lol. But you caused zero offense, I promise. Besides, I do realize that the name of the forum is "Ask an ESFP", not "Converse with an ESFP". Lol. I wasn't expecting you to elaborate on anything. Except for the most recent post where I actually posed specific questions, all of which you answered.

How do I phrase criticism such as to minimize you getting defensive?

Turn it into a question. Don't say, I hate when you do "this". Don't say, doing "that" is [insert negative adjective here]. Say, why did you do "that"? Do you think doing "that" might comes off as "this" for this reason and that reason? And ask in the most non threatening, inquisitive way possible. This is how you bypass the offense and still get them thinking about changing. Doesn't always work to dissipate the defensive response, but it definitely pulls back the blow, no matter who it is.

Imagine you're at home, some friends ask you to come out and accompany them. But you refuse (suspenseful gasp from the audience). Not because of appointments, but something else was more interesting. Can you think of a thing?

No. Lol. Everything that I can think of is obligatory. If I have a completely open schedule and nothing pressing coming from any way at all and a friend wants to go out...there is nothing else I'd rather do. I guess there's a slight chance that...nah, I'd go. Lol. OR maybe invite them over if I don't want to go to wherever their going? I don't think that counts...

But I really want to answer. I might blow off an acquaintance I'm not super close to in order to binge on netflix. Lol. This sounds soo bad. Smh.

Can you remember how some more advanced topics in music theory which you guys were taught were called? I wonder what hides behind those walls.

In jazz, it's common to put two chord in top of each other, like C over Dm. Can you explain why it's those two particular chords? (I mean sure you can move this stepwise, e.g. C# over D#m, but the interval between the chords remains). Did they teach anything about that or did they just "mention it's possible" like college tends to do more often than not.

All I can think of is that the notes form all kinds of different chords together, so in total we get Dm, F, Am, C. But the notes E and F are dissonant! Ok, they're not played directly next to each other, but 1 octave apart, but still, dissonant, right?

Wow! You looped a lot of things in with the basics. Lol. Where do you get your musical knowledge from? Seems like you know almost as much as me? Do you play an instrument?? See, here is where the holding out information comes into play...Hahaha...

I didn't actually take jazz theory, so I'm not sure 100% what you're saying. I think I get you though. You're talking about chord stacking? It sounds like you're describing some sort of 11th chord. So a regular Dm7 with a major chord on top of the 7th. Smh. I don't know all the terms in jazz and I've forgotten a lot of the stuff I actually do know. BUT I will say that jazz uses dissonant chords all over the place all the time. As a matter of fact, jazz is defined by its crazy chords. Crazy, dissonant chords and ridiculously hard rhythms and improvisation. Put it all together to sound amazing and that's jazz. Modern day jazz and classical isn't constrained by the rules of the common practice era. Not even a little bit constrained. You just have to know where to place the crazy chords so that they don't sound crazy. If you're really good, you can even make them sound pretty. That's what they teach in a music theory class. How to make ugly chords sound pretty. Lol.

Then you're basically fami.... Wait how is a hug not awkward, like ever? Is that even possible?

Hahaha...yes. It's 100% possible.

Contrary to how Ti is often misunderstood, Ti's influence is not about being all inside the head. It's about coherence. So when I have a puzzle in front of me, I could say I'm manipulating the puzzle in my head, but I'm also using the actual physical puzzle pieces to help me think. In that way Ti will look like Te until I figure it all out, at which point I lose interest to actually finish the puzzle, because I already know enough about how the solution will look like.

Te on the other hand (I have a Te dom or maybe aux friend) seems to me also about coherence, but Te cares about coherence with the physical world, rather than the coherence of the principle behind it all. And to create coherence in the physical world, they (Te doms) usually have to "do it".

So, was this one of those moments where it was that type of hidden question, or did I just go on a tangent?

My questions are NOT hidden...Thank you very much. Lol. But everything you've said about Ti makes sense. I've heard that Ti searches for "truth" in everything. Is that a good way to describe it? Te is more looking for things that are practical. It's looking for ways to improve the surrounding environment. It needs to be able to use the "truths" that Ti finds. And it settles for close enough to the truth. This wasn't a tangent...Those are generally off-subject. Lol.

I encountered the situation that (especially when we need to get something done), if I say, do, or.... react in any way really, the (potential) ESFP sometimes can not let go. There's always going to be some sort continuation to the conversation which could potentially go on forever and nothing would ever get done. Can you identify with this? And what can I do to pause a conversation gently but... firmly?

Do I go on actual tangents and never stop?? Possibly. Yes, if I'm passionate about the subject. Maybe try to interrupt. Seriously... interrupt. If there is something that actually needs to get done just be like, "That's awesome but, we really need to... blank." Don't be mean, just be confident that what you're saying is important. If you can't interject, get their attention by calling their name? If there is a legit reason for the interruption then they can't be upset. If they are upset then, they're in the wrong. Probably, they might not even notice that you did interrupt. And if they really are an ESFP, they probably won't care. Say something assertive that they can turn their attention on. We can be redirected very easily.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

What do you do when you meet someone cooler than you?

 

[iAmMe]

What do you do when you meet someone cooler than you?

"Cool" is so subjective. I like to believe I'd treat those people the same way I'd treat anyone. Maybe I'd try to make them friends so that their coolness would rub off on me.

 

[Teax]

I think it's hilarious how it sounds like you're being tortured because you have to listen to rambling. Lol. Like something was done to you...because you had to listen...Smh. I never realized that I was torturing people with my words. Lol. And yes, I do care.

Lol. Well judging by this forum you might not be far off e.g. TL;DR is a popular phrase. And I bet these long posts look demotivating to most.

You want me to tell you when it's the right time to talk in a conversation?

Not about when it's the right time to talk, but rather, what do you expect me to talk about. But ofcourse, what you said makes sense.. now that you brought it out in the open! Being sure what you guys want from me might change the outcome of many a conversation.... Thanks

In what ways do you find your Fe friend allows herself to be influenced by others?

Anyway why I was asking all this to begin with: I have observed a definitive divide between two types of people. People who never heard about MBTI. So the chasm is definitely not based on prejudice. I suspect it's a divide between T and F users but what do I know..... The (supposed) T users I get along splendid. I can talk as openly with someone like if we've known each other forever.... And they don't necessarily become more than acquaintances or once-in-a-lifetime-conversations at that point, so I guess we're not doing much in terms of relating/bonding. Dunno. Those who are into typology and stuff don't even suspect I'm an introvert, always amusing. But there's those who don't seem to mix too much with the first type, and these people talk in riddles. And yeah that can be torture It's not that I hate anyone, it's just hard to communicate as you found out for yourself with your INTP.

And if you can't, I want to know that too

This sounds unlikely to happen. I wouldn't even know what to say .... "go away I can't relate to you" - "shoo, shoo" - "bzzzzt!"

Spoiler

(5th element)

so that I'm not left trying to fill up the awkward silence and strambling to think of a question I can ask to get the conversation to a topic you can relate to. I'm trying to relate to you! Lol. And amuse you to some extent.

And what if the topic I can relate to is something that you can't relate to? What will you say? Being unsure about that is often enough to give me halt about even mentioning that topic.

And yeah, the amusing part is very obvious with both ESFPs I know. I've read in the personality sheets that ESFPs are entertainers but wouldn't a personality who likes to please other people be Fe? Now, your "stay true to yourself" Fi approach makes sort of sense. Hard to be funny if you're fake...?

I think the ESFP is the only ESxx that doesn't actively try to bring me down to earth. Perhaps because of your up-beat live-and-let-live attitude which doesn't conflict with mine (I don't think that's generally an INTP thing though). But is there a degree of not-seriousness even you would find too much? How do you feel about not-serious not-career driven introvert types?

Besides, I do realize that the name of the forum is "Ask an ESFP", not "Converse with an ESFP".

right... I completely forget about stuff like this when curiosity peeks.

Turn it into a question. Don't say, I hate when you do "this". Don't say, doing "that" is [insert negative adjective here].

well Duh doing that is just stupid.

Say, why did you do "that"? Do you think doing "that" might comes off as "this" for this reason and that reason? And ask in the most non threatening, inquisitive way possible. This is how you bypass the offense and still get them thinking about changing. Doesn't always work to dissipate the defensive response, but it definitely pulls back the blow, no matter who it is.

¿So for you

• Do you think _ might come off as _?

is easier to hear than

• I believe _ sort of comes off as _.

Because for (supposed) T users I found it's the opposite. If you put criticism in question form, they tend to get annoyed about the question funny reactions

maybe invite them over if I don't want to go to wherever their going? I don't think that counts...

nice answer though!

But I really want to answer. I might blow off an acquaintance I'm not super close to in order to binge on netflix. Lol. This sounds soo bad. Smh.

Nono lol! that is totally relatable! We've dug up a shred of introversion I might even have joined you on that binge, sis.

Would you rather spend your time on a dusky forum or would you rather be on netflix instead? (Am I keeping you from something? )

Wow! You looped a lot of things in with the basics. Lol. Where do you get your musical knowledge from? Seems like you know almost as much as me? Do you play an instrument?? See, here is where the holding out information comes into play...Hahaha...

Point taken
Yeah I played guitar a long while ago. That teaches the feel for music, but nothing useful about theory. Then I was asked to perform in an event, and instead, I just quit playing altogether that very day , and moved on to composing. Which is the real reason I started it all in the first place I guess.... don't really remember.

All my knowledge comes from the random internet, random videos, random books. E.g. I learned how to "play" drums watching drum kit tutorials. Not real drums, but on the computer .

Yeah that's how they called it, stacking. I don't necessarily remember all the terms myself, but can understand all these terms because, just look them up when I need them . I was hoping you had a keyboard at hand to just press down the chords and see what I mean

That "common practice era" is what I call basics. Because there, everything is neat and ordered and easy to understand, like some obsessive J person worked it over with a vengeance. It's even consistent with what ever physics I know. But it sounds rather mundane. Jazz is much more "me", much more relaxed. But I found no comprehensive theories about why/how to make stuff sound good, just books full of "this is how it's been done", stuff like chord collections. So never really "understood" it...

My questions are NOT hidden...Thank you very much. Lol. But everything you've said about Ti makes sense. I've heard that Ti searches for "truth" in everything. Is that a good way to describe it? Te is more looking for things that are practical. It's looking for ways to improve the surrounding environment. It needs to be able to use the "truths" that Ti finds. And it settles for close enough to the truth.

As a rule of thumb, yeah that works. I.e. When you're late to a train and have to explain it to someone quickly. Those are basically just the consequences of what Ti/Te really is, which is actually much more mundane: a feeling

T is the feeling that you get from understanding something. When stuff doesn't contradict.

Most people consider that truth is something that can not contradict other truth. So you could say Ti searches for truth. But if you look at this forum, people have very different convictions about what makes sense, and thus their version of truth will diverge greatly. Coherence can be found beyond truth. Coherence of fictional worlds/books/movies e.g.

Te and Ti are just two flavors of the same function. Ti will obsess over things that are inconsistent/ambiguous/unsolved/redundant unless I keep it in check. Do you obsess/fixate on things that go against your Fi? INTPs are P only towards the world, but we are still J doms (it can suck). Ti just like Te loves to improve the environment. But since Ti only cares about the principle, a Ti user probly won't do the actual job if it takes too much effort, after Ti already figured it out how to do it.

I can't tell you what Te feels like, I don't have it... But Te looks much more consistent across the people I see. Te can understand what Ti does and it seems to me it should be able to do all the same things but they don't care enough to. If it works/exists in the world, it's interesting, and Te users can agree on it. Otherwise, Te users have better things to do. You yourself have said something in this regard:

ut I think that my interest in it has way more to do with people and much less to do with the theories behind the applications. If it's not applicable to my life then it becomes very hard to digest. I can understand theory, but after a certain point, I stop caring unless I can see it in action.

This wasn't a tangent...Those are generally off-subject. Lol.

Uff.. turns out I misused this term forever. In math a tangent is this blue line:

So metaphorically speaking I thought it meant I begin at the same topic but go in a direction who nobody cares about. See: that's Ti for ya. Looking for common meaning in everything. It's a blessing, and a curse.

Do I go on actual tangents and never stop?? Possibly. Yes, if I'm passionate about the subject. Maybe try to interrupt. Seriously... interrupt.

Stop right there. I tried that before But interrupting feels rude.

Say something assertive that they can turn their attention on. We can be redirected very easily.

True I've noticed that.. heheee *rubs hands together*

 

[iAmMe]

TL;DR is a popular phrase. And I bet these long posts look demotivating to most.

I had to look up what TL;DR meant. Lol. Should I try to be shorter? Even though, my answers won't be nearly as fleshed out? You're the one who asked a bigillion questions!! Lol

In what ways do you find your Fe friend allows herself to be influenced by others?

When it comes to making a decision, she'll tell me her pros and cons for the decision and the pros and cons will always include what other people may or may not think of said decision. But sometimes its things that (I feel) other people really have no say in. Like, if you want to go to a college far away, why are you considering people who have very little say in your life? And then she'll make decisions and refrain from informing people of said decisions because of how they may or may not feel about it. Smh. It annoys me.

But there's those who don't seem to mix too much with the first type, and these people talk in riddles. And yeah that can be torture It's not that I hate anyone, it's just hard to communicate as you found out for yourself with your INTP.

Yeah, I constantly ask him if I actually make sense and if he's at least vaguely interested in whatever I'm saying. He says he's interested, but I'm still not sure. Hahaha... Smh. He might just be too afraid to tell me the truth. Idk.

This sounds unlikely to happen. I wouldn't even know what to say .... "go away I can't relate to you" - "shoo, shoo" - "bzzzzt!"

:O Wow! Hahahaha... Shoo?? Really?? Try giving a logical explanation for why you can't relate. Just try, "That's interesting. I've never been in that situation before." Followed by a question or something.

And what if the topic I can relate to is something that you can't relate to? What will you say? Being unsure about that is often enough to give me halt about even mentioning that topic.

It's okay to have a discussion about something that you've never experienced or thought about. That is how you make people think. As long as it's something that you state in simple English, I'll try to jive with you. No risk, no reward. If it's something I want to know more about, I'll ask questions. If the subject isn't interesting, I'll ask about how you came to know the subject and then I'll try to turn the topic to you and your actual life because at least that's a new topic and it's something that most people don't have a problem talking about...themselves. Do you struggle talking about yourself too? If so, it might just be a pointless case. Lol.

I've read in the personality sheets that ESFPs are entertainers but wouldn't a personality who likes to please other people be Fe? Now, your "stay true to yourself" Fi approach makes sort of sense. Hard to be funny if you're fake...?

It's pleasing in a different way. Fe will compromise to please others. Fi is usually less willing. Like my friend who over compromises. But she's just one example. Fi can even be selfish to an extent. It wants what it wants. And it values what it values. But it normally values relationships and other people. Fi can value some really mushy, happy, idealistic things. But it's less willing to compromise those values, those views for others. BUT it will also accept the "uncompromised" views of others. At least, this is the way I see it... I know that Fe isn't actually "fake", but Fe might not make as many jokes for fear of hurting someone's feelings. Um.. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings and that you actually find me slightly amusing. I like to tease people. Lol.

But is there a degree of not-seriousness even you would find too much? How do you feel about not-serious not-career driven introvert types?

Yes, there's a degree. I don't know where that degree is. Most of the time, jokes don't go too far, but I guess they can if they hit on something extremely personal. Like, don't joke about my mom's death or my dad's drugs or anything like that. That's taking it waayy too far. You know?

Hahaha... good question. If I can get in their head, we can probably have lots of laughs. But it'll be sad if their lack of drive keeps them from success. It's okay to not be serious, but don't let it keep you from doing what you want to do.

So for you

• Do you think _ might come off as _?

is easier to hear than

• I believe _ sort of comes off as _.

Because for (supposed) T users I found it's the opposite. If you put criticism in question form, they tend to get annoyed about the question funny reactions

I really want to say the top one is better for me, but in all honesty, it really might depend on the thing being criticized. AND on the type of relationship that we have. So, there's kind of too many factors that come into play. This question was hard...Straight forward may actually be nicer. Hmm...sorry. I don't know.

Nono lol! that is totally relatable! We've dug up a shred of introversion I might even have joined you on that binge, sis.

You'd be welcome, bro. Hahaha...

Would you rather spend your time on a dusky forum or would you rather be on netflix instead? (Am I keeping you from something? )

Our conversation is actually quite interesting. If I wanted to be watching netflix, that's what I'd be doing. So you aren't keeping me from it, but you also are keeping from it because I'd rather respond to you than watch whatever. (Take it as a compliment...unless those are just as awkward as hugs...then, nevermind, I take it back. Lol.)

I was hoping you had a keyboard at hand to just press down the chords and see what I mean

You write songs?? So cool. You probably have more finished ones than me. Lol. And learning to play via internet is no less impressive. Unfortunately, no keyboard in my room. I have one, but it's in the garage... Smh. Don't ask. Only a guitar in my room that I suck at playing. But really, the most dissonant of chords can sound really cool if you put them between the right two.

That "common practice era" is what I call basics. Because there, everything is neat and ordered and easy to understand, like some obsessive J person worked it over with a vengeance. It's even consistent with what ever physics I know. But it sounds rather mundane. Jazz is much more "me", much more relaxed. But I found no comprehensive theories about why/how to make stuff sound good, just books full of "this is how it's been done", stuff like chord collections. So never really "understood" it...

You're right that the common practice era is simple to understand. But I'd never call Mozart and Beethoven "mundane". Are you kidding me? The stuff on the radio today is "mundane" if you're listening for chord structures, that it. Composers back then took simple chords and expanded them, in ways that were novel and impressive and history-making. And they did it again and again and it sounded different most every time.

A lot of jazz is improvisation. It's knowing what's acceptable as well as using you're own ear to change it up. Generally, the melodies will follow established rules. Then you take it and change it so that it's a twisted version of the melody. I think it's a lot of knowing where to place the melody note so that the ear can still pick it up in the crazy chord. I don't know. I've only ever sang jazz, so what it looks like on piano and guitar is like another language. Single melodic instruments, like the woodwinds and brass, I can follow because they mostly play what I'd be singing, but sometimes in arpeggios.

T is the feeling that you get from understanding something. When stuff doesn't contradict.

Most people consider that truth is something that can not contradict other truth. So you could say Ti searches for truth. But if you look at this forum, people have very different convictions about what makes sense, and thus their version of truth will diverge greatly. Coherence can be found beyond truth. Coherence of fictional worlds/books/movies e.g.

Okay. So truth is subjective? As long as it makes sense to you? I also don't see how truths can contradict each other. Then there is no "truth". Coherence? I think I get it. Something that's consistent within a certain system. But what about syncretism?? Are you guys looking for that everywhere?

Te and Ti are just two flavors of the same function. Ti will obsess over things that are inconsistent/ambiguous/unsolved/redundant unless I keep it in check. Do you obsess/fixate on things that go against your Fi?

No. Not if it's something that I don't feel I can fix. But this is probably because I really am a sensing dom and Fi is my auxiliary. INFPs, they probably do more obsessing. I can see that in them. Always trying to change the world. But this makes me think. I don't obsess about it in my mind. But maybe I do more so with my actions. Trying to impact the world one person at a time. I see that in all of the xxFPs, the stronger Fi users.

Uff.. turns out I misused this term forever. In math a tangent is this blue line:

So metaphorically speaking I thought it meant I begin at the same topic but go in a direction who nobody cares about.

You have the definition right. But I didn't think you were on a tangent. You picked up on something I said and added your own thoughts. That's how conversations work. LOL. You're getting it!! Hahaha...

True I've noticed that.. heheee *rubs hands together*

Smh. This sounds devious.

 

[Teax]

Should I try to be shorter?

No! I didn't mean it like that... I'm just showing you stuff about INTPs/Ti since you asked... or so I thought... A day without learning is a day wasted... or being wasted...hehe

When it comes to making a decision, she'll tell me her pros and cons for the decision and the pros and cons will always include what other people may or may not think of said decision. But sometimes its things that (I feel) other people really have no say in. Like, if you want to go to a college far away, why are you considering people who have very little say in your life? And then she'll make decisions and refrain from informing people of said decisions because of how they may or may not feel about it. Smh. It annoys me.

I'm recognizing her Fe in me, and your Fi in my friend.... But I would never actually let those points reach my pro/cos list, I'll just be acutely aware that I'm going against someone's advice (if I like them enough). And refraining from informing people is totally me again geeez... Maybe the only difference between Ti/Fe and Fe/Ti is, which one we're more afraid of. And that avalanches out over the course of the entire life into a different skill-set and habits.

I wonder if Ti is a such a pain in Fe doms like it is vise-versa. How does your Fe friend deal with stuff that doesn't make sense? What if you contradict yourself in a conversation with her? Does she value the principle of things more or is she more "hands on"? How much does it annoy her if she cannot find a common ground between different people?

Yeah, I constantly ask him if I actually make sense and if he's at least vaguely interested in whatever I'm saying. He says he's interested, but I'm still not sure. Hahaha... Smh.

Then you know exactly how your INTP feels in the same moment: the same . "not sure"

He might just be too afraid to tell me the truth. Idk.

At this point I sorta doubt that, seeing as you are close. You can re-ask something like "really? or are you just saying that because... ...... Fe...." fill the dotted lines . I don't see how a Ti dom could ever find such a question offensive or even weird, and if it was a spur of the moment Fe lie, he'll correct it the second time. (But he will be annoyed if you repeat that question every day )

:O Wow! Hahahaha... Shoo?? Really?? Try giving a logical explanation for why you can't relate. Just try, "That's interesting. I've never been in that situation before." Followed by a question or something.

I'm happy I could shock you but that's what I'm saying: unlikely. Even if I never were in that situation before, I can still relate in some way. "You own a boat? Do you get zapped by the cabin door on your way out? My car does that to me all the time." <-- see? far off things are even more relatable than every-day stuff. You'd have to be intentionally obnoxious to prevent that.

If it's something I want to know more about, I'll ask questions. If the subject isn't interesting, I'll ask about how you came to know the subject and then I'll try to turn the topic to you and your actual life because at least that's a new topic and it's something that most people don't have a problem talking about...themselves.

Whoa... so you did get this down to a science *taking notes*

Do you struggle talking about yourself too? If so, it might just be a pointless case. Lol.

mayybe.... especially live, yeah sure.

If you're anything like the ESFPs I know, my social stories sound pathetic after hearing what your life is like. Which is more like a sitcom. Mine is more like this:

Spoiler

Did you make friends in your new place already?

BUT it will also accept the "uncompromised" views of others.

huh, your friend is less willing to accept the uncompromising of others than you? (This doesn't go well with my understanding of Fe.)

but Fe might not make as many jokes for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

That explains it.... Are you more talkative than your Fe friend in general?

Um.. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings and that you actually find me slightly amusing. I like to tease people. Lol.

:3 I'm fine thank you. And, yes, I'm having fun.

You'd be welcome, bro. Hahaha...

Ha! So I finally grew on ya, sis? Lol

So, how do you figure it's "bro"? The english language is not very specific about the word "I" here, what if I'm a tomboy?

Our conversation is actually quite interesting. If I wanted to be watching netflix, that's what I'd be doing. So you aren't keeping me from it, but you also are keeping from it because I'd rather respond to you than watch whatever. (Take it as a compliment...unless those are just as awkward as hugs...then, nevermind, I take it back. Lol.)

(I don't mind getting hugged )

You write songs?? So cool. You probably have more finished ones than me. Lol. And learning to play via internet is no less impressive. Unfortunately, no keyboard in my room. I have one, but it's in the garage... Smh. Don't ask.

Snap! How did you know I'd ask

"Songs" is a misnomer... No one to sing I'm more something like a sound engineer. Atmosphere. Expressing adventure and emotion in soundscapes. It's a much much slower process than just writing notes.

You're right that the common practice era is simple to understand. But I'd never call Mozart and Beethoven "mundane". Are you kidding me? The stuff on the radio today is "mundane" if you're listening for chord structures, that it. Composers back then took simple chords and expanded them, in ways that were novel and impressive and history-making. And they did it again and again and it sounded different most every time.

Uf alright that might have overstretched the meaning.. I take it back.

I love to explore timbre and harmony, it's a major part of an atmosphere. Classical music doesn't sound trivial ofcourse, but to me it often feels the same. Like variations on the same theme, like walking through different parts of the same woods... you know? Some of it is because they use the same orchestral instruments, but some of it is because they use the same harmonies.

I've only ever sang jazz, so what it looks like on piano and guitar is like another language. Single melodic instruments, like the woodwinds and brass, I can follow because they mostly play what I'd be singing, but sometimes in arpeggios.

Makes sense. So you're doing everything by ear or are you reading sheet music?

Have you practised guitar today yet, sis? *nag* (fulfilling my dutyful role)

Okay. So truth is subjective? As long as it makes sense to you? I also don't see how truths can contradict each other. Then there is no "truth". Coherence? I think I get it. Something that's consistent within a certain system. But what about syncretism?? Are you guys looking for that everywhere?

Yes. It sounds like a philosophical question thought, and the Philosophy forum is jam packed with threads about this but in this context, yeah.

Yes, if I overlook something I end up convinced something to be true that actually isn't. In the sense that "what they don't know won't hurt em". That's why we usually like to exchange ideas.

Yep.

I hesitate to generalize here, but I sure do. Not intentionally. At least initially not. Ti just makes you satisfied with any explanation that is based on common ground. After a while it just feels like there is a common ground to everything. And then you start actually looking for it intentionally. And, to wear out an overused example even further: Einstein, a supposed Ti user, was looking for a unified field theory. An equation that can be used to explain all physics, all other equations. How's that for syncretism

No. Not if it's something that I don't feel I can fix. But this is probably because I really am a sensing dom and Fi is my auxiliary. INFPs, they probably do more obsessing. I can see that in them. Always trying to change the world. But this makes me think. I don't obsess about it in my mind. But maybe I do more so with my actions. Trying to impact the world one person at a time. I see that in all of the xxFPs, the stronger Fi users.

Oh so you know Fi doms? I mean people who you are sure about that they are Fi doms. How does a strong Fi look like compared to you?

You have the definition right. But I didn't think you were on a tangent. You picked up on something I said and added your own thoughts. That's how conversations work. LOL. You're getting it!! Hahaha...

Smh. This sounds devious.

Don't worry I'm too lazy to be of any real harm to anyone...

Do you watch science fiction? How about old-timey movies? Or do you prefer movies that play out in the "now"?

 

[iAmMe]

No! I'm just showing you stuff about INTPs/Ti since you asked... or so I thought... A day without learning is a day wasted... or being wasted...hehe

I am interested in knowing stuff about Ti.

I think this is only true if your end goal is knowledge. If my goal is to find a job and I spend the whole day filling out applications, then I wouldn't consider the day wasted. Did I increase my knowledge? I guess maybe in that I discovered job openings...

How does your Fe friend deal with stuff that doesn't make sense? What if you contradict yourself in a conversation with her? Does she value the principle of things more or is she more "hands on"? How much does it annoy her if she cannot find a common ground between different people?

I'm trying to think of a conversation where maybe I contradicted myself. It's not like it doesn't happen. But usually not in the space of a conversation. Lol. I feel like this would annoy her a lot though. When, I'm with her, she causes me to think a lot more about what I say. I just realized that. I choose my words more wisely because she will completely disect them and misinterpret what I'm trying to say or I might hurt her feelings or something. She's very assertive. Usually with her there is a lot of "emotions" talks and I very well may contradict myself there in an attempt to explain these emotions and she does get annoyed with that...the fact that I can't always articulate my feelings.

I want to say she values principles. I'm not completely positive. I'm not her. When it comes to learning she's hands on I think, but with like social things and things that are less tangible she can be very set to a principle. Very stereotypical SJ like...

I've never seen her play moderator between two people before, but I will say that she gives great advice. I think she might be more likely to avoid these types of conflicts. Unless it's two people she really cared for, like her sisters.

Even if I never were in that situation before, I can still relate in some way. "You own a boat? Do you get zapped by the cabin door on your way out? My car does that to me all the time." <-- see? far off things are even more relatable than every-day stuff. You'd have to be intentionally obnoxious to prevent that.

Okay. So then, let your Ne shine!! Lol.

Whoa... so you did get this down to a science *taking notes*

Lol. Definitely not. I'm just thinking of what I would actually do in these senarios and articulating it. Something I've never done or thought about before. I'm self examining.

If you're anything like the ESFPs I know, my social stories sound pathetic after hearing what your life is like. Which is more like a sitcom. Mine is more like this:

Spoiler

Hahaha...our lives are not sitcoms, that's just how we tell it and what we'd like you to believe. We find humor in a lot of things.

Did you make friends in your new place already?

No. But I'm in a weird situation. My life currently is a weird situation. One that I'd rather not broadcast across some public forum. Lo siento.

huh, your friend is less willing to accept the uncompromising of others than you? (This doesn't go well with my understanding of Fe.)

No. This statement was referring to Fi. Sorry, I kept jumping back and forth between Fe and Fi.

That explains it.... Are you more talkative than your Fe friend in general?

Yes. Like I was saying, she curbs her words a lot more than I do. Where I will say whatever I'm thinking, she will much sooner weigh the pros and cons before speaking. I actually thought that she was an introvert. I still think that she straddles the Extraverted/ Introverted line. But she says she relates to ESFJ.

So, how do you figure it's "bro"? The english language is not very specific about the word "I" here, what if I'm a tomboy?

Sorry! I didn't think about that until after I posted the response. Lol. Are you my bro or my sis?? Lol.

I'm more something like a sound engineer. Atmosphere. Expressing adventure and emotion in soundscapes. It's a much much slower process than just writing notes.

Ah. Electronic instrumental. I can dig it. Lol. How long have you been doing that?

I love to explore timbre and harmony, it's a major part of an atmosphere. Classical music doesn't sound trivial ofcourse, but to me it often feels the same. Like variations on the same theme, like walking through different parts of the same woods... you know? Some of it is because they use the same orchestral instruments, but some of it is because they use the same harmonies.

Yes. I can understand this. I will say that in some of my music history classes, there were tests where, my professor would play a recording of a piece and we'd have to guess the era (medieval, rennaisance, classical, romantic, etc.) And if you look at what most people categorize as "classical" and break it into these time frames, then you can definitely hear the differences between times, but within a specific time, you're definitely walking in the same woods.

So you're doing everything by ear or are you reading sheet music?

Both? Both.

Have you practised guitar today yet, sis? *nag* (fulfilling my dutyful role)

Eh. No. Today was errand day.

Ti just makes you satisfied with any explanation that is based on common ground. After a while it just feels like there is a common ground to everything. And then you start actually looking for it intentionally. And, to wear out an overused example even further: Einstein, a supposed Ti user, was looking for a unified field theory. An equation that can be used to explain all physics, all other equations. How's that for syncretism

Syncretism makes my brain turn to mush. Lol. My sister goes on and on about etymology and numerology and astrology, and religion and flat earth theory and food. She's a vegan and there is a lot of talk about food and she somehow relates it all. It's fascinating. I sometimes am stumped. You've never heard me be so quiet as when she's going on. Lol. Its interesting, but it's so much to digest at once. My Ni is like Lol.

Oh so you know Fi doms? I mean people who you are sure about that they are Fi doms. How does a strong Fi look like compared to you?

I'm not positive of any Fi doms in my personal life. Only suspects. The difference is Fi doms are introverts first. Then extroverted percievers and then the opposite perceiving function. Then last is Te. I can't give you a personal experience because I've yet to type one fully.

Do you watch science fiction? How about old-timey movies? Or do you prefer movies that play out in the "now"?

Yes. No. Yes. I actually really enjoy sci-fi movies. I don't know why it's a stereotype that we don't. I guess because of the "science" part? But it's a movie, they don't get that technical.

 

[Teax]

I think this is only true if your end goal is knowledge. If my goal is to find a job and I spend the whole day filling out applications, then I wouldn't consider the day wasted. Did I increase my knowledge? I guess maybe in that I discovered job openings...

Right found your Ni.

I choose my words more wisely because she will completely disect them and misinterpret what I'm trying to say

I've been "accused" of doing that

Lol. Definitely not. I'm just thinking of what I would actually do in these senarios and articulating it. Something I've never done or thought about before. I'm self examining.

Sorry for plucking this right out your stereotype, but: how boring is something like this for you in general?

No. This statement was referring to Fi. Sorry, I kept jumping back and forth between Fe and Fi.

Yeah I got that but what I meant is that "Fi will also accept the uncompromised views of others" implies that, in comparison, Fe will not. Which didn't sound like Fe to me.

Sorry! I didn't think about that until after I posted the response. Lol. Are you my bro or my sis?? Lol.

hehe :3 cute. I was leading up to this to see how you'd react. "bro" is fine, sis.

Ah. Electronic instrumental. I can dig it. Lol. How long have you been doing that?

Riight that's how it's called.... completely forgot.

It's not a job, if that's what you mean. That might be too stressful. But as a passion, basically forever. Even back with my guitar I made more than a few mood-patterns... I wish I still had the sheets. But I don't have all day to spend on the creative part, so getting better has been hard.

How often do you get a chance to sing?

So they graded you on how well you could recognise the era of a piece? I wonder what use that kind of skill might be.

Eh. No. Today was errand day.

How about today? you know I'm going to insist untill you do, my talented sis.

Yes. Like I was saying, she curbs her words a lot more than I do. Where I will say whatever I'm thinking, she will much sooner weigh the pros and cons before speaking. I actually thought that she was an introvert. I still think that she straddles the Extraverted/ Introverted line. But she says she relates to ESFJ.

That's how I heared Ti described from the outside. As a sort of "pause" in whatever a person is doing. Interesting that this might be observable even in Ti-inferior personality types.

Syncretism makes my brain turn to mush. Lol. My sister goes on and on about etymology and numerology and astrology, and religion and flat earth theory and food. She's a vegan and there is a lot of talk about food and she somehow relates it all. It's fascinating. I sometimes am stumped. You've never heard me be so quiet as when she's going on. Lol. Its interesting, but it's so much to digest at once. My Ni is like Lol.

this is what I meant by values principles. You know.. abstract things. Yeah it can be hard to get behind the mesh of ideas of another Ti, even as a Ti. It's only easy when both people already have a common ground of ideas, and merely diverge in subtler things. E.g. logic is a great unifier of all Ti doms.

So I take it you're not vegan. Otherwise she'd not drill you about this.

You just described the same scenario as with your INTP, except now you play the role of the stumped one see the similarity? Towards this:

Hahaha...our lives are not sitcoms, that's just how we tell it and what we'd like you to believe. We find humor in a lot of things.

Yes. No. Yes. I actually really enjoy sci-fi movies. I don't know why it's a stereotype that we don't. I guess because of the "science" part? But it's a movie, they don't get that technical.

Exactly! That's what never made sense This actually makes me feel better

t's good to talk to someone who you know you'll be bumping elbows with for the next two hours. Lol.

What would you say? "Hello, I'll be bumping elbows with you all night?" - well duh.... "What's your name?" - that doesn't change anything......

How often can you re-watch your favorite movie?

Have you ever spent a day/many days hanging out with only one, the same each day, friend?

Do you feel the difference between spending time with one friend, and two. Which do you generally prefer?

I'm running out of questions

 

[iAmMe]

Right found your Ni.

Because I'm talking about end goals?? Lol.

I've been "accused" of doing that

Quite accurately, I'd bet. Hahaha...

Sorry for plucking this right out your stereotype, but: how boring is something like this for you in general?

You mean talking on a forum? Or like MBTI? This is my first real experience talking on a forum. Not a bad one. I like the initial attention, but I realize that this thread is dead. Lol. I like conversation. I'd much rather do it in person, but this isn't so bad.

MBTI? I find it interesting. I like psychology. But once again, I like it because it's about people and how people act and behave. Other theoretical stuff... I wouldn't call it boring. Just...hard. Draining. Not boring. Maybe some would call that boring though. Idk.


It's not a job, if that's what you mean. That might be too stressful. But as a passion, basically forever. Even back with my guitar I made more than a few mood-patterns... I wish I still had the sheets. But I don't have all day to spend on the creative part, so getting better has been hard.

How often do you get a chance to sing?

Not often enough. I what capacity do you mean, though? Because I sing ALL the time. I'll just sing and won't know I'm singing. I'm always singing. Lol. I haven't sang for an audience in a few months. There was this Black History show at my job and I sang in that. And nothing lined up, so I don't know when that'll happen again.

So they graded you on how well you could recognise the era of a piece? I wonder what use that kind of skill might be.

Yeah. Those listening tests sucked. Only useful if you're going to be a music teacher, historian, or commentator of some type.

How about today? you know I'm going to insist until you do, my talented sis.

Nope. I work full time. There is very little time in the day. Part of that weird life situation. I practiced on Saturday. Maybe I'll get to it on Wednesday? If I don't get a friend calling me...

That's how I heared Ti described from the outside. As a sort of "pause" in whatever a person is doing. Interesting that this might be observable even in Ti-inferior personality types.

Yeah, I think she curtails her words much less with me than with other people. Because she knows me differently. She can wear many "hats". But I wouldn't call it a pause, it's automatic with her. It a quick judgement before she says her piece.

this is what I meant by values principles. You know.. abstract things. Yeah it can be hard to get behind the mesh of ideas of another Ti, even as a Ti. It's only easy when both people already have a common ground of ideas, and merely diverge in subtler things. E.g. logic is a great unifier of all Ti doms.

Right. I wouldn't say my ESFJ friend is very into stuff like this. She uses more Si. She's more about learning from experiences. But I think she might have more to offer to a talk about syncretism than I do. I think it's probably because her J will judge and make an opinion much faster while, I will sit back forever and not actually form any opinion at all. I'm more open-minded than she is. But I'm much less ready to argue, and according to some, I'm "easily persuaded".

Do you have any Fe dom friends that you know of? Are the majority of your friends NT? (Is this a very small group that I speak of? Lol.)

So I take it you're not vegan. Otherwise she'd not drill you about this.

I'm a vegan-in-training. Lol. My sister is on a mission to make me vegan? Are you a vegan? That would be cool. Do you find that a lot of vegans are NFs? Or is it just because NFs flood the MBTI world and we never here a lick from the S types?

You just described the same scenario as with your INTP, except now you play the role of the stumped one see the similarity?

Ha. Very true. I boggle his brain. Wow, I hope he doesn't feel that way all the time. Lol. I should like go apologize or something. Hahaha...

What would you say? "Hello, I'll be bumping elbows with you all night?" - well duh.... "What's your name?" - that doesn't change anything......

Actually...this first suggestion could be a REALLY good opening line if you can continue with it. Lol. It's corny funny, if delivered properly. Personally, I probably wouldn't have said that, but I'd totally laugh if someone did say that to me. No, if we're both at a concert, talk about the obvious...the concert. Lol. No awkward intro is really needed. If the person is unresponsive...then that's a different story.

How often can you re-watch your favorite movie?

I don't have a favorite movie. I can rewatch movies, but it's usually because, that's the best thing on the tv at the time. I've actually rewatched a ton of movies. But new ones are always welcome.

Have you ever spent a day/many days hanging out with only one, the same each day, friend?

Yes. I believe I have.

Do you feel the difference between spending time with one friend, and two. Which do you generally prefer?

Yeah, I feel the difference. Different group dynamics. Also, when I'm with one other person, I can be way laid back, especially if they're laid back. I probably prefer the two. It's more interesting, more possibilities of what can happen. But, i wouldn't necessarily want any two. The "who" matters as well.

I'm running out of questions

Oh Noo!! Lol. I'm having too much fun. I'm impressed by what you came up with though.

 

[Teax]

Because I'm talking about end goals?? Lol.

Yep I've always observed N to work towards the future. Ne is the feeling of power from knowledge, "with this I could do anything". My Ni friend narrows that feeling of power down to specific goals he has in mind, like you did

You mean talking on a forum? Or like MBTI? This is my first real experience talking on a forum. Not a bad one. I like the initial attention, but I realize that this thread is dead. Lol. I like conversation. I'd much rather do it in person, but this isn't so bad.

First time huh... sorry for killing your thread it's probably because I'm hogging my sis all to myself here. I PMed you an idea about how to revive it

Not often enough. I what capacity do you mean, though? Because I sing ALL the time. I'll just sing and won't know I'm singing. I'm always singing. Lol.

Constant training huh

I haven't sang for an audience in a few months. There was this Black History show at my job and I sang in that. And nothing lined up, so I don't know when that'll happen again.

Aww.

Nope. I work full time. There is very little time in the day. Part of that weird life situation. I practiced on Saturday. Maybe I'll get to it on Wednesday? If I don't get a friend calling me...

Not even 5 mins? just don't hide it too far so you can grab it for a couple of mins anytime you're bored. E.g. while waiting for food to simmer...

I'm more open-minded than she is. But I'm much less ready to argue, and according to some, I'm "easily persuaded".

Makes sense, that's probably what P dom means versus J dom.

Do you have any Fe dom friends that you know of? Are the majority of your friends NT? (Is this a very small group that I speak of? Lol.)

Never been close enough to an F to see if it's Fi or Fe. Oh wait maybe one... but we lost contact. Yeah, a very small circle, I could count em on one hand. I only fully typed 1 person: ENTJ, because I knew him the longest. Most people who stick around look like NTs. I sometimes suspect someone of S, but that might be just an NJ because they also have Se.

Do I come off as INTP?

I'm a vegan-in-training. Lol. My sister is on a mission to make me vegan? Are you a vegan? That would be cool. Do you find that a lot of vegans are NFs? Or is it just because NFs flood the MBTI world and we never here a lick from the S types?

Lol trainee. Yep, I am! for a decade or something... We're all in this together, sis

There are so many paths to vegan, I doubt that S types are left out tooo much. But it seems like NFs are more unified in this. Probably because some of the arguments of NFs are actually persuasive to other NFs . Judging on some poll on Personality Cafe (here, I found it again) S are about as equally distributed as NTs, about 4 to 1. Only NF have a disproportionate high vegan rate.

Ha. Very true. I boggle his brain. Wow, I hope he doesn't feel that way all the time. Lol. I should like go apologize or something. Hahaha...

:3 You make it sound sinister, but it's as you said: Its interesting, just don't expect a fully two-sided conversation. And I know he enjoys the attention on an Fe level

I don't have a favorite movie. I can rewatch movies, but it's usually because, that's the best thing on the tv at the time. I've actually rewatched a ton of movies. But new ones are always welcome.

Right me neither, bad phrasing. I actually had to put an embargo on re-watching anything that I can still remember. Otherwise I tend to get stuck doing that if there's nothing new. I thought it's an Si weakness. But maybe it's just a P thing or a general "thing".

Yeah, I feel the difference. Different group dynamics. Also, when I'm with one other person, I can be way laid back, especially if they're laid back. I probably prefer the two. It's more interesting, more possibilities of what can happen.

Yeah I know exactly what you mean by laid back. That's why I usually prefer the first option.