Are you the firstborn or only child?

[Belak]

I'm reading a book describing personality differences based on position in the family you were raised in.

The description of firstborn (Oldest male or female that was firstborn or their older sibling is five or more years older than them, there can be more than one firstborn in a family) is a lot alike the descriptions of types like ENTP or INTP so I thought I would see how many of you are first born or only child.

The basis behind it is that the way you're treated in your family has a lot to do with the way your personality developes. It seems that middle children tend to be feeling types while oldest or only tend to be dominantly thinking type. The youngest seem to be generally feeling sensing types.

To go into more detail the firstborn tend to be perfectionists never taking anything at less than perfect. They are analytical and critical of everything. It has to do with the fact that they are pushed harder by their parents to do better.

The middle child seems to be more fun and attention seeking because they have to live up to their older sibling's acheivements.

The youngest seems to be the one who is the class clown. They generally don't like to go with what their siblings are doing so they are rebellious getting into things that get them attention like music or comedy.

Just want to see what the majority of the intps on this forum are in their family.(I'm firstborn)

 

[TheManBeyond]

first

post born

 

[EyeSeeCold]

You can find forum data here:
http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=15123

and here:
http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?p=292967

 

[Yellow]

I'm first born with a younger brother (2.5 years younger) I'm INTP, he's INFP.

 

[BluePantsMcgee]

I'm second born & INTP, First is ENTP, third born is INFJ.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I've technically been all of these except the twin.

 

[Double_V]

Only, ENTP.

I could not hold views more dissimilar than what my mother tried to instill in me.

Quentin Tarantino is an only btw.

 

[OrLevitate]

"A baby, Harry. My wife just had a boy."

"Oh," said Harry. He extended his hand. "Well, congratulations." The hand was limp. "I think that's swell, Heinz, perfectly swell." He withdrew his hand and waited for Heinz to say something else.

"Yes, yes--just about an hour ago," said Heinz. "Five pounds nine ounces. I've never been happier in my life."

"Well, I think it's perfectly swell, Heinz. You should be happy."

"Yes, indeed," said the girl.

There was a long silence, with all three shifting from one foot to the other.

"Really good news," said Harry at last.

"Yes, well," said Heinz quickly, "well, that's all I had to tell you."

"Thanks," said Harry. "Glad to hear about it."

There was another uneasy silence.

"See you at work," said Heinz, and strode jauntily back to his bench, but with his reddened neck betraying how foolish he felt.

The girl giggled.

Back home in his small apartment, at two in the morning, Heinz talked to himself, to the empty bassinet, and to the bed. He talked in German, a language he had sworn never to use again.

"They don't care," said Heinz. "They're all too busy, busy, busy to notice life, to feel anything about it. a baby is born." He shrugged. "What could be duller? Who would be so stupid as to talk about it, to think there was anything important or interesting about it?"

He opened a window on the summer night, and looked out at the moonlit canyon of gray wooden porches and garbage cans. "There are too many of us, and we are all too far apart," said Heinz. "Another Knecthmann is born, another O'Leary, another Sousa. Who cares? Why should anyone care? What difference does it make? None."

He lay down in his clothes on the unmade bed, and, with a rattling sigh, went to sleep.


He awoke at six, as always. He drank a cup of coffee, and with a wry sense of anonymity, he jostled and was jostled aboard the downtown train. His face showed no emotion. It was like all the other faces, seemingly incapable of surprise or wonder, joy or anger.

He walked across town to the hospital with the same detachment, a gray, uninteresting man, a part of the city.

 

[Direwolf]

Youngest

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

only child.

i would wish it otherwise but to do so would entail subjecting another person to my family which i could not do with a clear conscience.

 

[crippli]

To go into more detail the firstborn tend to be perfectionists never taking anything at less than perfect. They are analytical and critical of everything. It has to do with the fact that they are pushed harder by their parents to do better.

I doubt that. I see it as more likely they are projecting inferiority. Perfect takes practice. And the first born is more like a test and trial. They are pushed harder by their parents if they are to measure up to younger siblings.

 

[nanook]

nestling, problem child, black sheep

yeah, firstborn represses and projects inferiority

last born gets taught the pleasure of repressing and projecting ideas of adequacy

didn't vote, since i'm probably not intp


parents tend to compare children. the younger ones are shown what they are missing, compared to the older ones. the older ones are shown what they can stand as an example for.

first born has more duties but also more freedom because parents have less criteria for what sort of unpleasing developments ought have been stunted. they will only know it, when they see it. the next born won't be allowed to come near that sort of development.

like when my oder sis got into puberty and did puberty things, it came as a surprise to her, that there was blowback. but i was informed of what blowback i must expect 4 years ahead of time. i never even tried to do puberty things. not in his house, not in his lifetime.

first born has strong existential strength, he feels he is carrying his own ass through life. whenever he messes something up he can be proud and say: "see, I did that all by myself, i surprised you." next born exists only as a proof of concept. parents knew in advance what mistakes he would make, what would be to difficult for him and communicated such opinions, so he gets informed about his destiny ahead of time. "see, we told you, you would be like that" no room for illusions of control over anything.

 

[peoplesuck]

youngest, my older brother has debilitating autism

 

[Double_V]

I doubt that. I see it as more likely they are projecting inferiority. Perfect takes practice. And the first born is more like a test and trial. They are pushed harder by their parents if they are to measure up to younger siblings.

+1

Adding at first glance an only may appear similar to an only but they unlike an only. With a first the parent softens/becomes less focused on them as more children are born. An only gets full concentrated attention of the parents hopes, dreams, neuroses forever.

Only children rarely see themselves as a child because they are constantly included in adult situations, even at very young ages.

Often a parent tries to make them a mini me, and their friend. An unfair burden to a child.

I like this...

a

 

[Double_V]

And this is another difference between a first and an only. The first wants to be in charge, the oldest, while the only LIKES to be left alone.

 

[Belak]

You can find forum data here:
http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=15123

and here:
http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?p=292967

Sorry, I couldn't find these, so I just started a new one.

 

[azumiii]

I'm the eldest of 2. Then got 3 more step siblings. I want to be left alone when i dont talk much. I want to have funny sarcastic banters when i'm bugging someone or everyone.

Bad dreams are made of me.

 

[Lot]

I'm the middle child.
Older brother is an INTJ and my younger is a ENFP/ENTP/depressed person, depends on the drugs he's doing.

 

[TheManBeyond]

Shit happens when your parents blame you for the behaviour of your younger bro who's like a copy of you in their view, since i'm his model i had to teach them some things about life, but since i'm a lazy parasite he only got bad things to work with and started a parasital life too.
He could have copied my sister instead who's the perfect ESTJ.