Anxiety and all that shizzle.

[Cogwulf]

I'm self-diagnosed as generalised anxiety disorder, with avoidant tendancies. Perhaps this interferes with the MBTI test, who knows, it's not particularly relevant as it describes me adequately either way.

In my mid teens, seems like a long long time ago by now, I went through a period of depression lasting several years. During this time I learnt to cope with the pain by just suppressing everything, I crammed everything deep inside me, I tried to harden myself against everything. I alienated a lot of good friends by doing this. My current (small) group of friends have commented on how laid back and calm I am, but it just isn't the case.
Over the years my underlying problems have grown worse, the depression itself is gone but underneath everything is roiling away. I can't express my feelings, I don't know what to other than just keep on doing what I'm doing until I eventually collapse in on myself. Even writing from behind the relative anonymity of the internet is hard enough at this delicate level of sobriety where my defences are down yet I still retain the ability to type.

I've built a wall around myself, how does a master craftsman destroy his own handiwork?

 

[Cognisant]

Address the sensitivity, desensitise yourself.
What makes you anxious?

No, no, stop and think about it, maybe write a list, the rest of my post isn't going anywhere.

Spoiler

Do it!

 

[Cogwulf]

Most things do, for no good reason. I naturally focus upon negative possibilities leading to a vicious cycle of worrying and anxiety. The worst thing is that I am fully conscious of the irrationality of it, but it's hard-wired into me and I can't just switch it off.

Most of all I'm afraid of failure and weakness, and I'm stuck on the path of hiding this by not even trying in the first place.

Desensitisation is the only thing that would work in the long term, I did move halfway across the country for a year which let me get over a few things, but that only happened because I was able to make a commitment towards doing it a whole year before beforehand, hence by the time the anxiety kicked in it was too late to back out.

 

[shoeless]

anxiety i understand. it's hard to give advice as i find myself in a similarly difficult situation. i kind of figure there will be some point in the future when everything will inevitably change on me, for better or worse i can't say, but i look forward to it. in the back of my mind i still know that life will go on. happiness, or our idea of happiness, is fleeting by nature. it always comes and goes.

i guess the secret is to accept it. tough business, i know.

 

[Cogwulf]

i kind of figure there will be some point in the future when everything will inevitably change on me,

Funnily enough, for years I've been expecting some sort of turning point as well, but it's too much like expecting things to just improve instantly rather than actually having to do anything myself.

 

[shoeless]

have you ever considered seeking a prescription? that's what i've been thinking about lately.
not that that would change the situation. just take the edge off.

 

[Cogwulf]

I've thought about it, but SSRIs are the default prescription and I've witnessed what they can do to people.
I don't see beta-blockers having a big impact because they only affect the physical symptoms which kick in during stressful situations, and my problem is more along the lines of avoiding those situations before they happen.
Anti-histamines are meant to be effective, but I've been on them for hayfever in the past and they didn't have much affect on me then. Their effectiveness is meant to be due to their sedative effect in some people, but I've never suffered from drowsiness whilst on them.
Benzodiazepans and valium are meant to be effective, but very difficult to get a prescription for except in extreme cases.

The most likely scenario if I did manage to get to a doctor about it is a referral for CBT, but only group therapy places are usually available which can be more trouble than it's worth.

My university has a counselling service availble, which I should go to, but they make it needlessly difficult for me as I would need to go there in person first to fill out a form, which takes me straight back to my initial problem of actually doing things.

 

[nedenom]

I have much of the same history in my own life. If the anxiety is general it is not easy to pinpoint. Some free and healthy suggestions I know actually does work for me when I am capable:

- Stop and take the time to breath in and out deeply for a couple of minutes, fully in, fully out. That physically relieves the body of a bit of stress and anxiety, even for a short period. Very simple.

- Meditation.

- Physical (even mild, recreational) exercise. Maybe just a long walk (in the forest/mountains/seaside if possible).

- Eat proper food, maybe some extra vitamins.

- Get enough sleep.

- If you use alcohol or other drugs frequently, consider how they affect you.


There is two ways to look at anxiety, I think, either as a disorder or as a symptom of a disorder.

If you look at it as a disorder in itself, like a physical illness, then a prescription could work for you. You could discuss it with your doctor first before deciding. It is possible to start with very small doses. I would recommend seeing a psychologist/therapist as a follow-up in addition.

Or if you look at it as a symptom, then you need to find out what the cause is. Of course, that is not necessarily easy. A psychologist can help here too. Is the anxiety an emotional signal that something is not right in your life, something you need to address and change?

 

[Cogwulf]

- Stop and take the time to breath in and out deeply for a couple of minutes, fully in, fully out. That physically relieves the body of a bit of stress and anxiety, even for a short period. Very simple.

- Meditation.

- Physical (even mild, recreational) exercise. Maybe just a long walk (in the forest/mountains/seaside if possible).

- Eat proper food, maybe some extra vitamins.

- Get enough sleep.

- If you use alcohol or other drugs frequently, consider how they affect you.

I generally find that covering all these points helps me cope, but none of them is a magic bullet.

If you look at it as a disorder in itself, like a physical illness, then a prescription could work for you. You could discuss it with your doctor first before deciding. I would recommend seeing a psychologist/therapist as a follow-up in addition.

Or if you look at it as a symptom, then you need to find out what the cause is. Of course, that is not necessarily easy. A psychologist can help here too. Is the anxiety an emotional signal that something is not right in your life, something you need to address and change?

Chicken/egg. If I saw a psychologist the answer would probably depend on the person I was talking to.

 

[shoeless]

psychologists and doctors are scary. i can barely talk about my feelings to people i know and love and trust. i can't even imagine talking to a stranger about things so personal.

anxiety is a tricky one. a terrible cycle.

 

[nedenom]

psychologists and doctors are scary. i can barely talk about my feelings to people i know and love and trust. i can't even imagine talking to a stranger about things so personal.

If you can find a decent one, it may be easier to talk to a professional than to people that are close to you. At least you don't have to worry about how it may affect the personal relationships.

 

[nedenom]

Chicken/egg. If I saw a psychologist the answer would probably depend on the person I was talking to.

So you can either break the egg or break the chicken In my experience, psychiatrists or general practitioners, who can write prescriptions, generally tend to advocate medication. Different psychologists have different strategies, yes, but the main focus is not drugs.

 

[snafupants]

I happen to view anxiety from a somatic perspective, with some psychodynamic elements. Two things. Panic attacks, which arguably epitomize anxiety and irrationality, can consistently be triggered by upping cortisol and adrenal activity (via drugs, etc.); when this physiological reaction occurs, unfortunately the prefrontal cortex is subverted and backgrounded to the base, reptilian brain (e.g., amygdala), which activates the fight or flight sympathetic nervous system response. The second entwined reason to reinforce the physiological view is thus: foods can modulate anxiety level.

Let's say you consume three cups of coffee. As in, just slam three hundred milligrams of caffeine. You're screwed, right? Well, since coffee and caffeine deplete glycogen and cause stored carbohydrate release and effectively cause blood sugar spikes (along with adenosine antagonism in the brain), you're apt to feel more anxious without any energy to burn. Now, try this same experiment (all three coffee cups consumed in quick succession) but consume cheese and beef before and after consumption. There's going to be a difference in subjective appraisal of anxiety.

Moving on, clearly psychology plays some role. It seems to me that when we're put in an uncomfortable environment, which somehow threatens our ego and sense of self, we revert back to what we know, what's comfortable for us. If such an escape is denied, we experience panic attacks and deleterious feelings; if such an escape is facilitated, we tend to experience temporary emotional relief. The problem with always escaping is never overcoming. My advice, to anyone with anxiety, is to do what's difficult and emotional taxing when you feel most comfortable; that means, perhaps, initially going to a dance with a like-minded girl instead of someone who's intimidating or otherwise malaise-inducing. This will obviate the new experience automatically being conditioned as anxiety-provoking, while opening the door to more expansive experiences in the future.

Edit: Over the years, I've become quite adept at detecting my own anxiety levels. I can actually feel the nebulous sensation of anxiety as a constriction in my solar plexus, which is ironically a similar energetic sensation as hypomania and intense sexual desire. Feel that. Understand it, then act accordingly. Edit two: Please refrain from actually carrying out the coffee experiment.

Spoiler

Wouldn't want to irreversibly puncture anyone.

 

[Cogwulf]

psychologists and doctors are scary. i can barely talk about my feelings to people i know and love and trust. i can't even imagine talking to a stranger about things so personal.

anxiety is a tricky one. a terrible cycle.

It's the same for me. I think perhaps the hardest part of it is just the initial step.

In my experience, psychiatrists or general practitioners, who can write prescriptions, generally tend to advocate medication. Different psychologists have different strategies, yes, but the main focus is not drugs.

The problem in the UK is that the NHS is GP-centric. The only way to get to a psychologist is through a referral from a GP, and if you do get a referral the psychologists are over-subscribed so tend to focus on diagnosis rather than therapy.

 

[Iximi]

As I have gotten older, I have found that when I can move past my anxiety is when I am my happiest.

The issue seems to stem from internalizing everything, turning it over and over, creating a feedback loop of anxiety, depression and procrastination.

The best way I have found to prevent this loop from initiating is absurdly simple; just be open and honest towards the people that you are around.

I'll admit- at first this idea seemed like a nightmare, opening up to anyone at all felt like the last thing I would ever willingly do. However, bit by bit, I began to make an effort to do so. (oddly enough alcohol and prescribed amphetamine salts have served as a tremendously beneficial catalyst for this process)

When I started to do this, I came to realize the grass on the other side was indeed just grass- not some bottomless pit of despair as imagined.

Now I try to be as honest as open as I can about how I feel about things; subsequently anxiety no longer rules my life.

I hope my experiences are of use to you

 

[Black Rose]

Take small steps, apparently you got to type here what your having trouble with. Try writing some notes where have you succeed in the past even if it was unnoticeable or seemed irrelevant. Think about what gives you some confidence. What are some things in need of doing, that you did before where the world did not end. Take an action to create new habits, what can distract you from unwanted thoughts.

 

[Jason]

Identifying the causes is the key to solving the problem. Generalized anxiety disorder is the most poorly researched of all the anxiety related problems but it can be narrowed down to some specific causes. Once you have it some what figured out there are some great tools out there for dealing with it. I have tried many different medications for anxiety and depression in the past and had little success. The counselor I see now recommended a book called Anxiety, Phobias & Panic by Reneau Z. Peurifoy and Im having great success. It did take a while to find the right counselor but don't give up. It can get better!

 

[Cogwulf]

The issue seems to stem from internalizing everything, turning it over and over, creating a feedback loop of anxiety, depression and procrastination.

Me in a nutshell. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember.

The best way I have found to prevent this loop from initiating is absurdly simple; just be open and honest towards the people that you are around.

I often get myself pumped up to do this, but when I'm in the same room as other people it's as though that part of my brain just shuts down.

Take small steps, apparently you got to type here what your having trouble with.

Exactly. The next step is talking to my house mates tomorrow, which seems incredibly daunting even now.

Let's say you consume three cups of coffee. As in, just slam three hundred milligrams of caffeine. You're screwed, right? Well, since coffee and caffeine deplete glycogen and cause stored carbohydrate release and effectively cause blood sugar spikes (along with adenosine antagonism in the brain), you're apt to feel more anxious without any energy to burn. Now, try this same experiment (all three coffee cups consumed in quick succession) but consume cheese and beef before and after consumption. There's going to be a difference in subjective appraisal of anxiety.

I gave up energy drinks last year, and cut down on coffee too, I know exactly what you're talking about.

 

[EditorOne]

The last four posts were excellent advice, although it is tempting to start with the fourth one which, after all, recommends reading a book. :-) More information can't hurt, but ultimately the solution lies in getting out of your head.

In my case I consistently had to overcome anxiety-inducing situations out of a strong sense of duty. Long story, boring, but the takeaway is that the more I went where I didn't feel right, the easier it got.

An application of that in your case, combining the good advice here and maybe tailoring it, is to tackle one small uncomfortable anxiety-inducing thing on a day when you are really feeling good. And then build on it. It really is like developing muscles in some ways, and snafupants insight into the physical part of it should be incorporated: Give your body nutrition so you have the energy to translate the anxiety into action.

Just don't think the walls are coming down all at once. Rome wasn't destroyed in a day and your comfort zone of staying in your head and avoiding situations won't miraculously go away either. So take a realistic view - one small step at a time is the way to go, not an epiphanous moment when you suddenly see the path to salvation. And enjoy the small successes and if you must think, think about those successes, not the upsetting stuff.

 

[Words]

Same problem, but solved. My solution: prescribed medication + forced flippancy. The former dealt with the panic attacks, the latter helped because it was easy to do and I figured my anxiety was from a way of thinking. Thinking differently... that's all it took. Oh yeah, this is one of the times where JCF was actually useful.

 

[pjoa09]

As I have gotten older, I have found that when I can move past my anxiety is when I am my happiest.

The issue seems to stem from internalizing everything, turning it over and over, creating a feedback loop of anxiety, depression and procrastination.

The best way I have found to prevent this loop from initiating is absurdly simple; just be open and honest towards the people that you are around.

I'll admit- at first this idea seemed like a nightmare, opening up to anyone at all felt like the last thing I would ever willingly do. However, bit by bit, I began to make an effort to do so. (oddly enough alcohol and prescribed amphetamine salts have served as a tremendously beneficial catalyst for this process)

When I started to do this, I came to realize the grass on the other side was indeed just grass- not some bottomless pit of despair as imagined.

Now I try to be as honest as open as I can about how I feel about things; subsequently anxiety no longer rules my life.

I hope my experiences are of use to you

Not exactly the best idea when you are feeling horny on the subway.

And holy shit you are a druggie.

I have some mild social anxiety though.

 

[Iximi]

I often get myself pumped up to do this, but when I'm in the same room as other people it's as though that part of my brain just shuts down.

Think about what's really going on in your head when this happens. What's happening within your stream of consciousness? Is the stream truly drying up or are dams being built?

 

[cheese]

I think I agree with Iximi.

Spoiler

My problem was that with each stressful situation with the slightest negative potential, I felt I could see all possible outcomes, and in none of them could I make any difference. All of them ended badly no matter what I did. So I'd never say anything. And the more I stayed passive, the more all the nervous energy accumulated when stressed would just dissipate throughout my body taking all my energy and 'lifeforce' with it. This made me weaker each time, and I eventually became a passive, powerless shell stuck in my own mental loops of unbearable inevitability.

But one day I started speaking honestly. Dunno why, can't remember. And it *did* make a difference, and I *was* understood. I realised that I wasn't completely powerless and that I could effect change around me. That gave me a little strength back. Then each subsequent time I decided to try and speak up, not to back down and it made a difference, and each time it showed me that I had power and control over my environment if I just stepped up to the plate and tried it out. Each time I got a little stronger.

I think one of the biggest consequences of depression/anxiety is the feeling of powerlessness, but it's an illusion. (Well, we hope.) It's a mental illusion from having mental problems. The problem is in your head, so you can't trust what it throws at you. You probably know that, but you need to prove it to yourself. I think basically you need to fight. Push outwards, rather than just absorbing and letting all the junk stew inside you. When you see an uncomfortable situation, go up to it and make it face you. That's practising your power/strength, laying down connections between Suck and Overcoming. Once you enter the situation you might even find you can handle it ok, and it gets filed in your brain under "possible" instead of "hell no". Of course if you have a panic attack that sucks. Don't fight those. But if you manage to get through it without being too badly damaged, that's one win for you, and it makes you a little bit stronger for the next time. You're building up your power in lots of small ways and taking back control.

I don't mean to say it's easy. I often feel like the mental toll after makes whatever activity I attempt not worth it. It feels too exhausting. And I don't mean 'just break through your walls, dude!' Just that -

I think a big part of the problem is our perceived powerlessness, because that feeds the cycle of anxiety and depression. Anything that lets you practise power and taking control over your life uses the same muscle you need to overcome all the rest of it. Every little step counts, even if every tiny misstep feels like it's opening up all the holes again. Identify where the walls are and what purpose they serve, then try to serve the root of that purpose in a way that's oriented externally and more aggressive.

Spoiler

Also, for a long long time I didn't even have that tiny spark of energy needed to take even the first step forward into pushing out instead of just absorbing. Each time I even thought of changing something, the thought would quickly dissolve and fall into this black hole of weakness and emptiness, leaving me feeling even more powerless than ever. (Sometimes I couldn't even move for a little bit after.) So it's ok if you don't have the energy right now to change anything either. It doesn't mean you'll never get anywhere, you just need to rest and build up strength like a sick person. Just don't give up, and once you find something that unlocks that part of your brain, stick to it and remember it like a bit of mind magic you carry with you. Like for me, it's recognising when I'm having a conversation in my head instead of out loud. So I put myself in their face and keep at it, no matter how pointless it seems, until it's sorted out to the best of my ability - and that serves as a bit of exercise, and as a reminder. (Not that I always manage.) I'm not sure what it is for you, but being honest is probably a good start.

Note: I did spend a lot of time talking in life, and it's actually that that led me to believe it was all utter bullshit and pointless. But I think my perspective was skewed then and is more accurate now, as well as healthier. So even if you've tried it before, it might still be worth trying again. It should at least take the walls down temporarily.

Hope this made sense, and at least doesn't make things worse.


Overall: It feels like you won't get anywhere now because you can't take any first steps, you can never get yourself to do anything, etc, but you will one day. (Probably. ) You just need to latch onto any insights or tricks whenever you find them and they will slowly glue the pieces together.

 

[cheese]

Dammit, I guess that amounts to a "Don't give up!! It gets better!!!!!!! " post.

 

[Cogwulf]

Hope this made sense, and at least doesn't make things worse.

It's good advice, as everyones has been. I already sort of knew it myself, but it's good to have confirmation.

 

[Minuend]

I've had GAD for about 14 years. Been on Escitalopram for close to two years now, max dose. It did help me greatly in a period of my life where I had routine and were successful at what I did. Now I have fallen down a nudge, have difficulty eating these days.

I'm like you Wufie, in the way that I have a tendency to suppress. So now I have major difficulty picking up on the destructive thought pattern, because I don't notice it. I think to myself that "well, this is nothing to worry about" or "well, everything will work out in the end, anyways". But still the icing sensation spreads throughout my body and my brain numbs. I don't really see anxiety as a part of me, because how the anxiety reacts does not add up to my more laid back personality.

I think most of the time, I'm not entirely present. It's like there is always this thin fog between reality and me. Though, I have become better at expressing my thoughts and feelings. Mainly because of this forum and the friends I've acquired here.

Fukkie linked me this
Which I can relate to. Often it feels like my brain hits a brick wall where I can't think beyond that boundary. Concentrating takes a lot of effort. I'm not able to read and learn as much as I want.

So, what helps? Well, after 14 years, I really can't tell. I have considered seeing a shrink, but I kinda don't think I have a problem. I tried once, but the chemistry was horrible. He was more of an ESFJ, I think. I would need someone more laid back, at least. I do have some difficulty talking about my issues face-to-face though. I tend to deflect a lot. When you have been hiding your anxiety for so many years, deflecting becomes a habit not easily broken.

 

[Cogwulf]

I've had GAD for about 14 years. Been on Escitalopram for close to two years now, max dose. It did help me greatly in a period of my life where I had routine and were successful at what I did. Now I have fallen down a nudge, have difficulty eating these days.

I'm like you Wufie, in the way that I have a tendency to suppress. So now I have major difficulty picking up on the destructive thought pattern, because I don't notice it. I think to myself that "well, this is nothing to worry about" or "well, everything will work out in the end, anyways". But still the icing sensation spreads throughout my body and my brain numbs. I don't really see anxiety as a part of me, because how the anxiety reacts does not add up to my more laid back personality.

I think most of the time, I'm not entirely present. It's like there is always this thin fog between reality and me. Though, I have become better at expressing my thoughts and feelings. Mainly because of this forum and the friends I've acquired here.

Fukkie linked me this
Which I can relate to. Often it feels like my brain hits a brick wall where I can't think beyond that boundary. Concentrating takes a lot of effort. I'm not able to read and learn as much as I want.

So, what helps? Well, after 14 years, I really can't tell. I have considered seeing a shrink, but I kinda don't think I have a problem. I tried once, but the chemistry was horrible. He was more of an ESFJ, I think. I would need someone more laid back, at least. I do have some difficulty talking about my issues face-to-face though. I tend to deflect a lot. When you have been hiding your anxiety for so many years, deflecting becomes a habit not easily broken.

I can relate to most of that. Except that I am generally quite conscious of the negative thought patterns, it makes it all the more frustrating because I can see what I'm doing wrong but am powerless to change it. I think I have a strong shadow Ni whispering these things to me in the back of my head, otherwise I must be a horribly broken INFJ.

I know exactly what you mean by the "fog", but I've always attributed it to having Ti as a dominant function.

I can't really pinpoint when mine started, other that at some point during my childhood, I think I started out as just being shy then suffered negative reinforcement over the years.


Actually I'm a bit surprised by how many people here have similar problems. The cause and effect debate would be quite interesting, i.e. does anxiety make people tend towards testing as INTP, or does our personality make us more inclined towards anxiety, or both.

 

[CLOfriendOSE]

I was diagnoses with GAD and OCD a few years back. I had the same tendancies to obsess over the negative possibilities.

In short, nothing helped me get out of the rut until I started doing body alignment. I started with Linklater Technique and Alexander Technique (Linklater focusing more on exercises to free up the body - a sort of self physical therapy; and Alexander - a kind of Westernized form of Zen).

I found that the biggest change started with Yoga, though. It really forces you to take on a new body and a new mind. If you've been suppressing, it will find it's way out of you.

 

[miggslives]

I have not read all the thread, but I am currently in the same situation. I am constantly worrying and fearing failure, therefore I won't even try. I am always thinking of all the negative possibilities. My whole life I have kept everything bottled up from friends, family, and sometimes even myself. I am ALWAYS the calm and collected person. Nobody suspects anything wrong in my life. The single most used word people use to describe me is "chill." But in reality, my mind is exploding, and I keep it bottled up, KNOWINGLY, that soon enough to will explode on me and I won't know what to do or who to turn to. In recent months, I have been trying really hard to tell people close to me how I feel. It upsets me that I KNOW nobody (unless they are also INTP/similar) could even comprehend what I am going through. And when people say "stop worrying," or "it'll be fine," I turn to a "realist" view and think "just because they say things are going to be fine doesn't mean they will be fine." Or they say, "just do ____" or "try _____" and in response I tell them..."that's just not how things are/have been," or "it doesn't just work that way."

And the fucked up thing is as a "sideline observer" I sit and watch how everyone else handles life. My whole life people come to me for realistic advice that isn't sugar coated and with very logical processes, but the moment I need help in my own life I blank out and don't know what to do. Then after a horrible situation, in hindsight I know exactly what I should've/could've done. Which then fucks me in future situations because then I am back to worrying about if I will do it right this time around or if I will fuck up. But, because I am not 100% sure I can succeed and there is a chance of failure, I won't even attempt.

Sometimes I wish I could be as oblivious as (hate to say it) less intelligent individuals so that I could just stop worrying and just go after shit regardless of the consequences. Well maybe not regardless, but less worrysome of the negative possibilities.

 

[shoeless]

it astounds me how much i can relate to what's being said here. about the thought processes mostly.

does anybody get random physical twitches/jerks/etc as a result of the memory of an event that has recently (or not so recently) made you anxious?
like, just thinking about something, and then feeling a distinct physical reaction. sometimes i distort my face or semi-involuntarily scratch/punch/etc at myself/something else or just tense up really tight for a second.

it's partially why i believe my own personal anxiety is rooted in something physical or chemical by nature, like a disease rather than a psychological thing, but i guess it's all intertwined in one way or another.

 

[Da Blob]

Anxiety is the anticipation of pain. What you describe could be involuntary defensive reflexes to seemingly eminent attack or onset of pain - or as suggested, just the memory of such. At a certain primitive level there is no distinction between the pain of the past and the pain of the future, the body responds to both equally as constructs of imagination. It is rather sad that so many humans have become victims of their own imaginations, via onsets of anxiety or other problems.

 

[snafupants]

Anxiety is the anticipation of pain. What you describe could be involuntary defensive reflexes to seemingly eminent attack or onset of pain - or as suggested, just the memory of such. At a certain primitive level there is no distinction between the pain of the past and the pain of the future, the body responds to both equally as constructs of imagination. It is rather sad that so many humans have become victims of their own imaginations, via onsets of anxiety or other problems.

Physiological anticipation, that's certainly true, albeit sometimes incomplete. Anxiety is too vague, however, to be subsumed by strict psychological or existential assertions.

 

[Cogwulf]

I was diagnoses with GAD and OCD a few years back. I had the same tendancies to obsess over the negative possibilities.

In short, nothing helped me get out of the rut until I started doing body alignment. I started with Linklater Technique and Alexander Technique (Linklater focusing more on exercises to free up the body - a sort of self physical therapy; and Alexander - a kind of Westernized form of Zen).

I found that the biggest change started with Yoga, though. It really forces you to take on a new body and a new mind. If you've been suppressing, it will find it's way out of you.

Whenever I need a quick boost of confidence when I'm out, I focus on posture. I stretch out to my full height, relax my shoulders, rotate my hips. Just going through that action makes a noticeable difference but takes a lot of energy to keep up for long. From this I believe simply doing yoga is not enough, you need to sub-consciously take it with you when you leave the house every day.

does anybody get random physical twitches/jerks/etc as a result of the memory of an event that has recently (or not so recently) made you anxious?
like, just thinking about something, and then feeling a distinct physical reaction. sometimes i distort my face or semi-involuntarily scratch/punch/etc at myself/something else or just tense up really tight for a second.

I'm not sure, I think I used to actually, or I might still do it and just not notice.

 

[Minuend]

it astounds me how much i can relate to what's being said here. about the thought processes mostly.

does anybody get random physical twitches/jerks/etc as a result of the memory of an event that has recently (or not so recently) made you anxious?
like, just thinking about something, and then feeling a distinct physical reaction. sometimes i distort my face or semi-involuntarily scratch/punch/etc at myself/something else or just tense up really tight for a second.

It might be from tense muscles also.

 

[yogurtexpress]

Well, coming from someone who's had almost the exact same problems, I'd say the only real solution is to force yourself to do things out of your comfort zone. You start small, you give yourself little mental rewards ('I can't believe I talked to this person after class who I didn't think I would talk to'), then eventually the real rewards will show when you see people start reacting to you differently.

The only way to break out of that negative cycle is to take those interesting thoughts in your head and start letting them out. If you're avoidant and anxious this might be a problem initially 'cause you're gonna worry about how you come off. It's like doing anything that you're not used to doing--first, you suck at it, later you get better, and then it pays off. There's no reason to get stuck in the negative cycle, as long as you try, and push yourself, until you're comfortable doing things you didn't imagine you'd be comfortable doing.