Am I on the autism spectrum?

[ZenRaiden]

I get the report in January.

The test says I am not autistic.

I fluctuate between thinking and feeling. Can't make decisions. Am emotionally dependent.

Dependent on what?
You should really just stop analyzing yourself so much.
You know you are overdoing it.

 

[EndogenousRebel]

I recently had someone in my family hospitalized, theyre fine. But instantly everyone started rationalizing what's happening blindly in every direction.

"OH I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" "OH I SHOULD'VE DONE SOMETHING" "IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY"

Truth is people are happy to think someone fits in a box, especially a hereditary one. It means they can scapegoat responsibility for their situation and at the same time they get to shame you if you aren't conforming to social norms concerning that condition.

Not saying that's what you've done. Not saying that you are wholly responsible for everything that's wrong with you. But now you know change is possible if you are willing to take such a difficult path. The same would be true even if you were autistic. People put so much weight behind these labels that are simply meant for comprehension.

 

[ZenRaiden]

I recently had someone in my family hospitalized, theyre fine. But instantly everyone started rationalizing what's happening blindly in every direction.

"OH I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" "OH I SHOULD'VE DONE SOMETHING" "IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY"

Truth is people are happy to think someone fits in a box, especially a hereditary one. It means they can scapegoat responsibility for their situation and at the same time they get to shame you if you aren't conforming to social norms concerning that condition.

Not saying that's what you've done. Not saying that you are wholly responsible for everything that's wrong with you. But now you know change is possible if you are willing to take such a difficult path. The same would be true even if you were autistic. People put so much weight behind these labels that are simply meant for comprehension.

So true.
People do take the labels too realistically.
Then again I am not sure what people hope to get out of them. Like if you have something specific in mind sure go ahead.
Fact is I pretty much suspected being autistic for long time, but I never bothered getting it checked out. Though I was pretty interested in autism from neurological point of view. Its not really clear how getting the label changes things for better.
Truth be told I think I am bit different, and schizoid. Would the label help? Not really.
Does the label change things, well upon looking up the resources not really.

Most literature focuses on clinical side of things. Which is good for specialists, but not lay people.
General information about autism for normal people is...... you are socially blind period. Most information really gives you bit of facts about what it looks like in real life, but apart form awareness it gives you zilch facts to work with.

Its like someone telling you have a flat tire and that is making your car not function as normal car, and then just deal with it. WOW. Very "help full".

Most help in psychiatry or psychology is distilled down to throwing pills at you and tell you to get on with it. Which for the most part is what most people do anyway.

 

[Black Rose]

From what it seems to be is that Autism the way the psychologist uses it is cognitive empathy. And has nothing to do with the physiological symptoms I have. Or even that I have psychosomatic symptoms. Face blindness has been associated with Autism. Because this causes low cog empathy.

Physiologically Autism is caused by high-density spins in the brain. But that may not affect cog empathy. It's just physiological.

Another thing is Autism means Auto. This means a high value on self, self logic. This can happen with or without cog empathy.

If you can have Autism and Cog empathy something is missing. Maybe I faked cog empathy. Or cog empathy has nothing to do with whether I have Autism or not.

Auto self is something I still do. It's an open question.

 

[Black Rose]

Auto self is something I still do. It's an open question.

Cog empathy is knowing what is happening in another mind. But some can use this to predict what others will do. They have high social intelligence. Autism is a deficit in predictive capability. Mind blind.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Auto self is something I still do. It's an open question.

Cog empathy is knowing what is happening in another mind. But some can use this to predict what others will do. They have high social intelligence. Autism is a deficit in predictive capability. Mind blind.

Ever been into mind reading?

 

[Black Rose]

Ever been into mind reading?

I played video games with social puzzles before. But currently, I am socially isolated.

 

[ZenRaiden]

But currently, I am socially isolated.

Everyone is, its corona.

 

[Black Rose]

Everyone is, its corona.

I've been this way for over 10 years.

 

[EndogenousRebel]

From what it seems to be is that Autism the way the psychologist uses it is cognitive empathy. And has nothing to do with the physiological symptoms I have. Or even that I have psychosomatic symptoms. Face blindness has been associated with Autism. Because this causes low cog empathy.

Physiologically Autism is caused by high-density spins in the brain. But that may not affect cog empathy. It's just physiological.

Another thing is Autism means Auto. This means a high value on self, self logic. This can happen with or without cog empathy.

If you can have Autism and Cog empathy something is missing. Maybe I faked cog empathy. Or cog empathy has nothing to do with whether I have Autism or not.

Auto self is something I still do. It's an open question.

I don't think every case of what we call autism manifests for the same reason. Short of looking into everyone's brains, we can't really say much about what makes someone less functional in any regard unless there is a drastic difference, and we wouldn't know to check unless we can clearly see the difference in the physical world. Such as when someone gets a stroke on either side of their lobe, we can easily determine there is something wrong and which lobe suffered the stroke.

Though sociality is a major component we aren't really sure if that's what drives these differences. You imply how someone with autism may be unable to learn from others, but this doesn't add up to survival mechanisms if we have a severe case. Then again we don't know how someone with severe autism would make it in the wilderness to my knowledge.

Didn't you take a test that determined you didn't have autism? In any case, it's possible that your brain just developed slowly in some regard, so when you were younger, you possibly had autism, but now you have the habits of someone with autism, and just aren't using your firmware update.

 

[Black Rose]

Didn't you take a test that determined you didn't have autism? In any case, it's possible that your brain just developed slowly in some regard, so when you were younger, you possibly had autism, but now you have the habits of someone with autism, and just aren't using your firmware update.

I was a very isolated child. I was bullied in middle school and had no friends in high school. I went comatose after graduating and spent all my time alone in my apartment.

The psychosomatic symptoms were what nailed the coffin. Because I was depressed and had no friends and was all alone things were just awful. Solitary confinement is not a fun place to be and that is what it felt like.

Bad things kept happening to me I was stressed all the time lethargic never stable. It was like being sick all the time emotionally.

I don't think we can say I have autism without looking at all the trauma and mental illness I endured. But besides the stress, I am just directionless in life. I don't know what the point is. I try am make life meaningful but intellectually it is hard to know what is worth it. Learning about The Tech Singularity gave me something to look forward to. A.I. seems like the best thing to think about.

People need pursuits. Otherwise, they might as well be in prison. But me thinking about a.i. all the time seems autistic to others. But I don't like football. Seems stupid to me. I don't want to be mindless.

They took Aspergers out of the DSM. I would be more like that physiologically. I have no problem with cog empathy. I'm just not in control of my body/emotions. The report says I have emotional dysphoria. I suppose that means I am disturbed by my emotional state.

The most likely thing is that I am disturbed, emotionally neglected. Environmentally abused to the point I look like I have Aspergers. Most of all is that I have schizoaffective disorder. You know what a normal person is like but trying to discover things like Aspergers or MBTI type is obscured by mental illness. I am normal enough that I don't get Autism on the evaluation. But others still see something. And what others see in me bothers me. I have to know what it is. Why do others think I have Autism?

 

[ZenRaiden]

I bought netflix and chill ben and jerrys and watch netflix all day.
Point is you have a lot of symptoms.
Its all subject to schematism.
I think you should just chill.

 

[Black Rose]

I think you should just chill.

It would be nice if I could.

 

[scorpiomover]

Since the condition is unique in each person. What about me seems to give it away?

I gather that the criteria for autism is much like the criteria for schizophrenia, i.e. that it's outcome dependent, rather than diagnostic. As long as you have problems socialising, for whatever reason, then you're on the Autistic spectrum.

You seem to have problems having a full & rich social life, especially with regards to dating & relationships. So you qualify on the outcomes, which is all you need.

 

[Black Rose]

You seem to have problems having a full & rich social life, especially with regards to dating & relationships. So you qualify on the outcomes, which is all you need.

That is just what they call being a loser. Nothing to do with Autism. Autistic people have no problems entertaining themselves with activities. They can obsess over certain topics and learn all about them. But what gives them the advantage over losers is that they don't care about people or at least it does not affect them. They are so logical they can get by with what others can't.

 

[ZenRaiden]

You seem to have problems having a full & rich social life, especially with regards to dating & relationships. So you qualify on the outcomes, which is all you need.

That is just what they call being a loser. Nothing to do with Autism. Autistic people have no problems entertaining themselves with activities. They can obsess over certain topics and learn all about them. But what gives them the advantage over losers is that they don't care about people or at least it does not affect them. They are so logical they can get by with what others can't.

That is technically true.
So what lead you to think you are autistic.

 

[Black Rose]

You seem to have problems having a full & rich social life, especially with regards to dating & relationships. So you qualify on the outcomes, which is all you need.

That is just what they call being a loser. Nothing to do with Autism. Autistic people have no problems entertaining themselves with activities. They can obsess over certain topics and learn all about them. But what gives them the advantage over losers is that they don't care about people or at least it does not affect them. They are so logical they can get by with what others can't.

That is technically true.
So what lead you to think you are autistic.

My physiological symptoms. Autism is not a mental illness but I do have mental illness and I confused them. I don't function right and that inability to function I confused with Autism. People also said I had it and I took it into consideration. I did not really know what it was at the time so I just thought I had it.

 

[ZenRaiden]

You seem to have problems having a full & rich social life, especially with regards to dating & relationships. So you qualify on the outcomes, which is all you need.

That is just what they call being a loser. Nothing to do with Autism. Autistic people have no problems entertaining themselves with activities. They can obsess over certain topics and learn all about them. But what gives them the advantage over losers is that they don't care about people or at least it does not affect them. They are so logical they can get by with what others can't.

That is technically true.
So what lead you to think you are autistic.

My physiological symptoms. Autism is not a mental illness but I do have mental illness and I confused them. I don't function right and that inability to function I confused with Autism. People also said I had it and I took it into consideration. I did not really know what it was at the time so I just thought I had it.

Try supplements.

 

[Black Rose]

Try supplements.

I have self-esteem issues.

I need to know what is important in life and be able to accomplish things.

Right now I just feel like a failer.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Try supplements.

I have self-esteem issues.

I need to know what is important in life and be able to accomplish things.

Right now I just feel like a failer.

So?

 

[Black Rose]

Try supplements.

I have self-esteem issues.

I need to know what is important in life and be able to accomplish things.

Right now I just feel like a failer.

So?

How do I cure my depression if I am a loser?

 

[ZenRaiden]

Try supplements.

I have self-esteem issues.

I need to know what is important in life and be able to accomplish things.

Right now I just feel like a failer.

So?

How do I cure my depression if I am a loser?

You don't.

 

[ZenRaiden]

You should really see a psychiatrist.

 

[Black Rose]

You should really see a psychiatrist.

she gave me Prozac

 

[ZenRaiden]

You should really see a psychiatrist.

she gave me Prozac

Yeah, but how does that work? You get Prozac and still get depressed?

 

[Black Rose]

You should really see a psychiatrist.

she gave me Prozac

Yeah, but how does that work? You get Prozac and still get depressed?

What is the point of life if there is nothing to do? Life is like a prison. Why would anyone think living in a prison would be life satisfactory? I sit in my room and do nothing all day. There has to be more to life than this.

 

[ZenRaiden]

You should really see a psychiatrist.

she gave me Prozac

Yeah, but how does that work? You get Prozac and still get depressed?

What is the point of life if there is nothing to do? Life is like a prison. Why would anyone think living in a prison would be life satisfactory? I sit in my room and do nothing all day. There has to be more to life than this.

Is there?

 

[Black Rose]

You should really see a psychiatrist.

she gave me Prozac

Yeah, but how does that work? You get Prozac and still get depressed?

What is the point of life if there is nothing to do? Life is like a prison. Why would anyone think living in a prison would be life satisfactory? I sit in my room and do nothing all day. There has to be more to life than this.

Is there?

virtual reality and a.i.

 

[Black Rose]

I just got called a vegetable. I guess vegetating is autistic but it's not genetic it's environmental in my case.

 

[ZenRaiden]

I just got called a vegetable. I guess vegetating is autistic but it's not genetic it's environmental in my case.

Unfortunately being vegetable is side effect of medication.
Generally speaking sever cases like yourself rarely get better.
Meds change your brain chemistry. If you take it long term it changes your brain chemistry permanently.
I took my meds for 8 years and had lot of side effects, but unbeknownst to me I thought the side effects were part of my mental illness.
Generally speaking the number of people who end up on meds and vegetables is a big number, but psychiatrists generally don't treat the illness, they just stabilize you, after that "it is what it is".
Because of meds I had huge anxiety, my paranoia was even bigger. I felt like shit, fighting it all 8 years thinking that is normal.
Screwed up sleep cycle, and anxiety through the roof.
If I did not have anxiety I was like a zombie.
The meds were kventiax, rispen, and quetiapin.
The fact is meds don't fix mental illness they merely change your brain chemistry, usually for the worse, to make you stable and not have sever symptoms.
Unfortunately when I brought it up recently with my psychiatrist she told me its all in my head. So I quit my meds and quit visiting my psychiatrist.

Meds don't always work, and certainly did not for me. Being a vegetable is also normal for many psychiatric cases.
So nothing new.

If you brain is marinating in chemicals for years, its basically damaging your normal brain chemistry.
If meds don't work you are unlucky, but you cannot change that.
The percentages of people who never recover from mental illness is pretty high.
Whether depression or bipolar or whatever, these things don't always have a cure despite bull shit propaganda about medication.

Of course your psychiatrist will give you meds, because you have sever mental illness and they don't really know how to cure it.

 

[Black Rose]

I think that if you were locked in your room all day you'd become a vegetable.

Two things:

1. doing stuff
2. thinking

reading, watching tv, videogames, sports, talking to people/hanging out, drawing, playing/listening to music, shopping, working, bike ride, church, daydreaming

Hobbies

I would do better if I could do things. I don't have anything to do.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Maybe some people are just too cool for school.

I think that if you were locked in your room all day you'd become a vegetable.

Two things:

1. doing stuff
2. thinking

reading, watching tv, videogames, sports, talking to people/hanging out, drawing, playing/listening to music, shopping, working, bike ride, church, daydreaming

Hobbies

I would do better if I could do things. I don't have anything to do.

Yeah pills kill motivation. Change personality. That is why you should see your psychiatrist.

 

[Daddy]

@AK, it sounds like you don't know what you're problem is. What do you think your problem actually is? Because even if you are on the autistic spectrum or have poor mental health, it sounds like you are trying to say that they are the problem when really they sound more like a symptom. just my opinion or whatever...

 

[ZenRaiden]

Clinically speaking autism has comorbidity with other labels, but sometimes having one label eliminates the other label.
Generally clinical experts on autism focus on autistic symptoms. Which are listed in DSM and in much of literature.
Some labels rule out other labels as matter of rule.
You pretty much have so many symptoms its even wonder you function.

 

[scorpiomover]

You seem to have problems having a full & rich social life, especially with regards to dating & relationships. So you qualify on the outcomes, which is all you need.

That is just what they call being a loser.

Plenty of losers with a full & rich social life, and who have had girlfriends, wives and kids.

Also, plenty of winners without friends.

Autistic people have no problems entertaining themselves with activities. They can obsess over certain topics and learn all about them.

Correction: SOME people diagnosed with Autism are obsessive about certain topics, and have no problems entertaining themselves.

Some people diagnosed with autism, scream and scream until they get what they want.

But what gives them the advantage over losers is that they don't care about people or at least it does not affect them. They are so logical they can get by with what others can't.

Plenty of autistic people would like to get on better with other people, and especially would like a romantic partner.

But they're not that great at vocalising their issues in ways that your average person would understand, and don't know how to learn how, so they can do so in the future. So a lot of them simply accept their situation, and try to get used to not getting what they want, and so also try to get used to living without much. They still care about people, and try to help them when possible.

Some people with autism don't understand how to express themselves, but noticed that when they screamed and screamed, people did what they wanted, or something like it, like giving them food. They learned that by not caring about others, they get what they want, or something close to it.

 

[scorpiomover]

I think that if you were locked in your room all day you'd become a vegetable.

Two things:

1. doing stuff
2. thinking

reading, watching tv, videogames, sports, talking to people/hanging out, drawing, playing/listening to music, shopping, working, bike ride, church, daydreaming

Hobbies

I would do better if I could do things. I don't have anything to do.

Psychologists recommend Behavioural Activation (doing things to get used to doing things).

They also recommend Exposure (exposing yourself gradually to things that scare you, but would enhance your life long-term).

 

[Black Rose]

I am not exposed to the right situations. What would be ideal would be having a problem I could solve at my level. Everything is just too hard. Too pointless.

Now if I was creative I would not need that much exposure. It would all be generated from within. But it seems that nothing comes out. I can't force myself to be creative. I'm just empty.

I have a notebook and pen. But I don't do anything with them. I just sit in front of the blank paper and do nothing. I wish I could write something.

With my learning disability, I just don't have much I can do. I can't program. So what do I do? I don't know what to do.

 

[scorpiomover]

I have a notebook and pen. But I don't do anything with them. I just sit in front of the blank paper and do nothing. I wish I could write something.

Writers are often quoted as saying that you should write from experience. For that reason, a lot of people who want to be writers try to have lots of experiences.

Another option is to join a creative writing class.

With my learning disability, I just don't have much I can do. I can't program. So what do I do?

You have to try lots of different things to find out what things you can do.

I don't know what to do.

If you had very little you could do, then what to do would be clear, because it's the only thing you could do.

That you have such indecision, means you see lots of options and no difference between them that would make you pick one over the other, which in turn means you can do many things equally well. So pick one you like. If it doesn't work, just pick something else, as you've got plenty of options to pick from.

 

[EndogenousRebel]

Write what you see, write what you do, write what you want to do, write what you want to see.

Then from there write how you will change what you do see and do, to what you want to see and do.

Or just fixate one observation and express through art, or just start doing things.

It's the best time in history to find things to do. Google "writing prompts" and start there. Or if you want to challenge yourself, on what do you want to challenge yourself? It's only a matter of time before you catch on to themes that you're attracted to.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Also, if you like hugging and touching you are likely NOT on the spectrum. I know I love that, so maybe its just highly sensitive and not aspergers.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Also, if you like hugging and touching you are likely NOT on the spectrum. I know I love that, so maybe its just highly sensitive and not aspergers.

This symptom is not universal for autism, so its not listed as criteria for autism.

Hypersensitivity to certain stimuli however is, as well as hypo-sensitivity.

Autism is mainly neurological and developmental disorder on clinical scale.

Since autistic people develop a different neural system they often have trouble with many sensations.

Many of the sensations do pertain to hugging and touching, but its not true or universal.

It is only true as much most autistic people do not experience the positive feelings most people do through touch and hence even at early age they may avoid touch or hugs, or be very fussy as kids.

Other problems are such as hyper sensitivity to certain textures, sounds, sensations.

One odd feature is hypo sensitivity, where autistic people can be actually less sensitive to normal stimuli such as pain visual things etc.

The trouble with diagnosing autism is that each autistic person has a different set of symptoms.

Some of them are quite typical for autism, but atypical for normal neural development.

The tricky thing is the exception to the rule always exists.

So the current thinking about autism changed towards spectrum disorder model.

The main reason why knowing whether you are autistic or not, depending largely on how to approach your particular deficits.

Some autistic deficits have no solutions so its either approached on individual level per person, or common self help tactics are employed.

My point though is that there are plenty autistic people that actually do enjoy sensations of touch and even hugs, gasp.

This is actually common thing in therapy where autistic people are given dogs, or ride horses and have pets to develop bonding, social empathy, movements or over come anxiety etc.

Many autistic people prefer boding with animals as they are simpler and more predictable than humans and not surprising touching animals is not something or being touched by animals that freaks out autistic people.

Temple Grandin made a whole point about this where she says she avoids human touch because she does not like it, but she does actually enjoy touch using her squeeze machine, a machine that sooth her anxiety.

THe machine she describes squeezes her whole body strongly and tightly and allows her to relax.

Its very different from human touch, but its very effective for her she claims.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Autism Spectrum Test!

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

 

[Black Rose]

Autism Spectrum Test!

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

from my report:

2021

Adult Autism Questionnaire (AQ)

The AQ is a set of 50 statements that revolve around various perceptual styles, behaviors, and questions pertaining to relationships. These factors form characteristics of Autism that might be seen in adults. Mr. X obtained a score of 30 out of 50. While he appears to possess some characteristics linked to Autism, such a score, especially interpreted in the context of observations and test data over the last several years, does not meet the diagnostic criteria for a diagnosis of Autism.

 

[birdsnestfern]

I just took it, mine was 41. Probably High functioning Aspergers.

 

[Black Rose]

I just took it, mine was 41. Probably High functioning Aspergers.

I was able to game the system:

Your score was 3 out of a possible 50.

Scores in the 0-25 range indicate few or no Autistic traits.

But on this test:

I answered with a confidence of 92% accuracy.

simon baron cohen systemizing test

Empathizing-Systemizing Test

Free on-line personality test measuring Simon Baron-Cohen's Empathizing and Systemizing Quotients.

openpsychometrics.org

I never was on a train or airplane so the test has questions I am only 80% familiar with / it does not reflect real-world stuff in 20% of my life.

 

[birdsnestfern]

You have High Empathy!

No, I'm fairly clueless socially.

 

[Black Rose]

Thinking about people and thinking about systems is not the dichotomy it is posed to be. The real thing is based on real neuroscience, not social/intelligence aspects:

 

[EndogenousRebel]

Seeing as this is the "newest" addition to the brain, or maybe by necessity, the processing in this region happens very slowly, so you should probably go to people who don't mind you taking your time. Just be careful not to get on their bad side/also practice deliberate/trained impulsivity.

Just met someone that was walking in slow motion, but they were a gamer. Super strange dude, needed lots of help, but wanted everyone else to get it for them.

 

[Black Rose]

Conscientiousness – High
Agreeableness – Medium
Neuroticism – High
Openness – Medium
Extraversion – Medium

The mental energy it takes to not react to things is highly stressful.
No, I am not impulsive. I am Very "controlled".
When I lose patience I shut down.

My brain really hurts right now.
Everyone thinks I am the enemy.

I know I should not care but I do.
It takes all my emotional stamina/social intelligence to keep up with people.
If I don't I have nothing better to do.

I just need the right thing to say.
And everything I say comes from my feelings.
It's not like I can calculate large sums or anything.
It is not deliberated it is intuited.

So the right answer has to come unconsciously.
Not if A then B so C. It's irrational.

But if I were to do things step by step what would that mean?
The front part of the brain does not work slower or faster it holds things.
No matter how fast or slow you are you must be able to hold it all or steps don't get done.

 

[Black Rose]

Karl Friston: Schizophrenia, Autism, and the Free Energy Principle​