A strange (INTP?) feeling

[Paranoid Android]

This feeling is quite complex, but I'll try to explain it.
I'm a philosophical type, and sometimes I'm maniac for finding the "truth" by logic. This made me agnostical, which means I try to be opened enough and avoid to be stuck into one pattern. It has a really interesting effect on my life. Sometimes I feel that I don't exist or I have more "characters" at the same time. For example I always dress differently day by day. I think that the "nucleus" is the same it's only my way of expression that changes. Or maybe I have different "layers".

Maybe this feeling is not because of my agnostic views, perhaps I'm philosophical because of this feeling, I don't know. But the point is that: When I'm not alone, I always feel that I'm just playing characters, but these characters demonstrates me. And I have maybe three or more of them. It's only my feeling what changes with the characters, not my tenets or thoughts. They're always the same.

Do you know what I'm talking about? What do you think, can it be a tipical INTx feeling?

 

[Dimensional Transition]

You make it sound kind of creepy and mad, but I do think I know what you mean.

I think all types do this. You're just revealing certain bits of your real, complete self to certain individuals.

 

[Moocow]

That's typical of INTPs and what you are experiencing sounds like an orientation of emotion focused more on company than serving yourself in isolation. Basically, your emotions exist as a binding tool for those around you rather than an evaluative tool for building your perspective on life as with other types. If emotions aren't evaluative, then logic is- hence your philosophical inclination.
Off the top of my head there are two especially positive implications if you learn to understand your own emotions:
1. You can learn to adapt to people's expectations and moods considerately and polish up your outer appearance. Some call that being "charming" I suppose, and it makes life a lot easier if you aren't socially awkward.
2. In solitude, you have a capacity for calm indifference that can be healing and restorative. Without other people present to stimulate emotional acts, it can be much easier to detach and think clearly about important things and attempt creative / exploratory pursuits... such as philosophy or art.

 

[Paranoid Android]

You make it sound kind of creepy and mad, but I do think I know what you mean.

I think all types do this. You're just revealing certain bits of your real, complete self to certain individuals.

Because it's creepy. By the way I think it's not the tipical teenage thing (searching myself etc.) but the part of me which can be explained by the objective observing I'm always doing. It gives me the opportunity to understand roles, and I can adapt to nearly all the characters. Of course I have my close characters as I mentioned, and they just help me to express myself, like a painting, film, novel or any kind of art.

By the way, thank you for your opinion.

 

[Paranoid Android]

That's typical of INTPs and what you are experiencing sounds like an orientation of emotion focused more on company than serving yourself in isolation. Basically, your emotions exist as a binding tool for those around you rather than an evaluative tool for building your perspective on life as with other types. If emotions aren't evaluative, then logic is- hence your philosophical inclination.

Yes, this seems to be a logical and interesting explanation. Although I try to avoid "stuck in one pattern" (as I've mentioned) this is a view for me I didn't think about.

To be honest you're right about the charming - I enjoy when I can use my observations, and they seem to be true in the end.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I don't quite understand what the problem is...

Could you explain a bit more about what is bothering you about this? It just seems like normal (INTP) behavior to me. You're only making it sound like you're some sort of robot, while you're in fact just a person acting differently according to different situations. (Or well, that's how it seems to me!)

I'd say you're probably perfectly normal, but like me and many others, are overthinking something that's not alarming or anything.

This sounds more attacking than I intend it to be, heh. I hope I'm not creating a hostile atmosphere.

 

[Paranoid Android]

I'd say you're probably perfectly normal, but like me and many others, are overthinking something that's not alarming or anything.

That's true though I try to avoid it. I was just interested in do you have this feeling too. I don't think this is usual, I don't really see people around me who for example dresses one day as a punk and on the other day as a yuppie. (This example is quite exaggarated), but they have the same outfit and look everyday. This is not about behaving differently in different situations but changing your outfit and look (sometimes) extremely different from one day to another, because you have different characters to express yourself. Maybe it's usual, I just feel myself strange because of this "habit". But maybe it's just me who find these differences too exaggerated about my look.

This sounds more attacking than I intend it to be, heh. I hope I'm not creating a hostile atmosphere.

Oh, no, you don't. On the contrary I'm really grateful. I know I should improve my English so thanks for your patience.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Wait, you mean you actually wear 'costumes' for these different 'characters'? You actually plan what character you are going to play that day?

That does seem a little peculiar, yes...

I mean, I have different outfits, I guess, but I don't really choose them for how I'm feeling that day. Except perhaps wearing darker colors when feeling a little melancholic. My overall style stays with the same indie-kiddish vibe.

 

[Paranoid Android]

Well, yes, something like that. Although I don't plan it, it's just my feeling that day, which "side of me" I want to emphasise that day.

 

[Vrecknidj]

I'm a philosophical type, and sometimes I'm maniac for finding the "truth" by logic. This made me agnostical, which means I try to be opened enough and avoid to be stuck into one pattern.

There are several ideas here, and I'm not understanding the connections. First, I don't know whether being philosophical or "maniac for finding the 'truth' by logic" is what you think made you "agnostical." But, I'm not sure what "agnostical" is supposed to mean, or why being either philosophical or "maniac..." made that happen. Second, your use of "agnostical" is different from what I usually see when people use "agnostic" and so I'm not sure what you mean by being "opened enough" or your attempt to avoide being stuck into one pattern. (And, here, I don't know what kinds of patterns you're referring to.)

It has a really interesting effect on my life. Sometimes I feel that I don't exist or I have more "characters" at the same time. For example I always dress differently day by day. I think that the "nucleus" is the same it's only my way of expression that changes. Or maybe I have different "layers".

This immediately prompts me to ask about abuse you've suffered earlier in your life. I understand this is none of my business, but, the most common cause of dissociative identity disorder is abuse.

Maybe this feeling is not because of my agnostic views, perhaps I'm philosophical because of this feeling, I don't know. But the point is that: When I'm not alone, I always feel that I'm just playing characters, but these characters demonstrates me. And I have maybe three or more of them. It's only my feeling what changes with the characters, not my tenets or thoughts. They're always the same.

I hope my own analysis is incorrect, but, if it's not, there are explanations for the core, central individual.

Do you know what I'm talking about? What do you think, can it be a tipical INTx feeling?

I personally don't know what you're talking about, but, I have a few ideas which I mentioned. As far as I know, it isn't typical.

Dave

 

[blarg]

I want to clarify what the OP is talking about here. I've got several questions.

1. Are each of these so-called characters made up by you or are they your mental representations of real people?

2. Do you have the idea that you "assimilate" these different characters into your own and present yourself as a smattering of their personalities, or do they have separate, individual identities?

3. Do you identify with the characters themselves, or just their traits?

Perhaps you just have a relatively broader range of personas. Those are a universal part of Jungian psychology. I can somewhat identify with this, but more so in introspection, and I don't so much externally "play" these characters as internally use them as metaphors. In other words, I think of them more as schemata than as personas.

 

[ObliviousGenius]

Personally I do something similar to this. I have these imaginary characters in my mind that are split up into my personality traits. There are two sides, the philosophical me, and the extroverted chameleon me. Each side of me comes out depending on the situation not how I feel. When I'm by myself I'm philosophical, with friends or girlfriends I'm an extroverted chameleon using everything I know about social situations to work in my favor. Everything is automatic, completely involuntary, and can switch on a snap. The thing is both sides are the actual me I just show them in different situations but never together.

 

[blarg]

When I'm by myself I'm philosophical

Almost certainly Ti.

with friends or girlfriends I'm an extroverted chameleon using everything I know about social situations to work in my favor

Very likely Ne.

 

[Jelly Rev]

an infp and I had this conversation b4. Having an inner and an outer, the outer socially reflective of the enviroment, and philosophical inner enviroment.

I accept this fact, and realize for every extraverted day I have, I must have one introverted day to recharge.

Also how I act externally is usually based on the leader's Pness or lack thereof. A lot of Pness allows for a much more comfortable atmosphere. Jness not soo much.

 

[Paranoid Android]

Vrecknidj: I'm sorry, sometimes I just fly away, forget to explain the connections between my thoughts. So, being philosophical made me agnostic (not agnostical, it's just my stupid foreigner use of the word, but it means the same). Now I think it doesn't matter how but the point is that, this tpye of philosophy became dominant in my life, so that means I don't want to stuck into one point of view, because I know that I can't find the truth here, as a human. (Maybe now you'll ask that then why I stop thinking too much and let things just go -I can't, this is my life, who I am, and I'm searching for patterns and so on). This made me to know that my confidence maybe shows me but maybe everything I've known about the world is fake. And this lead me to allow myself to understand and accept more things in my life though these things would be different from me. I think this is a normal behavior.
So, because of this I try not to let things "to resettle" in me, or just a few to be able to live somehow. But I can't afford to have a massive and strong point of view in my life about everything.

No, I've had a loving and great family. But don't forget that maybe the normal childhood and family can be stressing for a child who is kind of... different.

I don't have dissociative identy disorder, that's sure.

Maybe I couldn't explain everything, I'm sorry. I'm really trying to be able to explain all of my thoughts in English. Write me if you have more questions.

blarg: 1. They're like stereotypes. For example The geek, The something, The other thing etc.
2. Assimilate. It's like me but having a plus "condition" on me. I get the feeling of the character, because I feel this today, I feel that this is a part or a side of me. But I don't loose my "basic personality".
3. Hard to answer. I think their traits, but sometimes I get attributes from it. This was stronger when I was a child, now I think I usually just get their traits. When I was a child I really began to play the character. I don't know is this normal for a child, who's searching herself. Now these attributes from characters begin to disappear, I don't get as much as I got when I was a child.

Oblivious Genius: Yes, it's something like that, but I have more of them when I have to be in a social environment. I think this is more complex, but maybe it's a defensive mechanism or something that I can use not to be different in a social situation.

By the way I'll go to a psychiatrist with this, of course. Maybe it's just me who exaggerate this behavior, and I'm curious what is this.

Thank you for all the comments!

 

[blarg]

This made me to know that my confidence maybe shows me but maybe everything I've known about the world is fake. And this lead me to allow myself to understand and accept more things in my life though these things would be different from me. I think this is a normal behavior.
So, because of this I try not to let things "to resettle" in me, or just a few to be able to live somehow. But I can't afford to have a massive and strong point of view in my life about everything.

I can identify pretty well with this. I think of it as a nihilistic open-mindedness that leads me to relax and alleviates me from the stress of inescapable predicaments. As long as it doesn't devolve into apatheism and total stupidity, it gives me some extra room to accept information. My inherently analytical mind leeps a check on that.

1. They're like stereotypes. For example The geek, The something, The other thing etc.

Similar for me, but more complicated than stereotypes. More like analyzed representations.

2. Assimilate. It's like me but having a plus "condition" on me. I get the feeling of the character, because I feel this today, I feel that this is a part or a side of me. But I don't loose my "basic personality".

I understand what you mean. I still think of myself as myself (probably because of the axiom that the mind can never fully understand itself), but I just perceive myself differently. I use these different perceptions as vehicles to execute or understand what my "nucleus" (as you put it) is telling me. For example, when writing a mathematical proof, I could be a meticulous scientist or mathematician, and when doing an engineering project, I could be an achievement-oriented conqueror who wants to cover territory. Superficially, I could be the exact same "net personality" despite undergoing a revolution on the inside.

I do this externally to some extent, but I do it internally a lot more often.

3. Hard to answer. I think their traits, but sometimes I get attributes from it. This was stronger when I was a child, now I think I usually just get their traits. When I was a child I really began to play the character. I don't know is this normal for a child, who's searching herself. Now these attributes from characters begin to disappear, I don't get as much as I got when I was a child.

This could just be that you're analyzing the traits separately because you're more mature, while when you were younger you didn't have the mental ability to logically dissect them so you just intuitively took on the character as a whole.

The connection you're making between agnosticism and this "personality shifting" is interesting, and I haven't really thought about that before, but now that I have, I can't identify with it. My nihilistic open-mindedness is not really a personality schema, nor is it a "nucleus". It's more of a general principle that both my nucleus and my shifting personality schemata follow.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Thank you for the clarifications.