" Thinking withdrawal " ?

[DIALECTIC]

Does anyone ever experience what (i think ?) may be best explained as "thinking withdrawal" (or maybe is it intuition withdrawal, i dunno ?) after you have been (over)thinking for several weeks ?

What i have been experiencing is some sort of "void" or maybe some sort of "echo consciousness" ? Not too sure how to describe it appropriately, i have felt this in the past before, it's not very pleasant, like something is wrong but i know deep down nothing is ! It is more intense when around people, like suddenly i am being overconscious of what i am saying like i have detached myself from my ego ?

Any idea what it could be and why it happens and is there anyway to make this feeling smoother ? I have noticed the more i am trying to ignore it, the more i am conscious of it and the more it is making me uncomfortable.

Another time it gets intense is at night time when it is time to sleep... Obviously it is also fuelling some pretty crazy thoughts... I had to resort taking half a 0.25mg Xanax last night just to be able to sleep, then i woke up 3 or 4 hours later and straight away i had an instant thought to remind me that something wasn't right, obviously that stupid thought was enough to induce that feeling but not as much as i was still under the relaxed effects of Xanax... I then managed to go back to sleep within 10minutes or so.

I had some extremely good news (2 different job offers) about 10 days ago and that's when it pretty much sorta started; maybe 2 or 3 days later... Then the feeling sorta reappeared it seems within 24 hours it of both jobs offers got being cancelled and the hopes i had built disappeared. Maybe it is a coincidence ?

I was thinking maybe also it could be my unconscious not communicating as smoothly with my consciousness ? When everything runs great i get flashes of insights / feelings / images / words / sentences... At the moment i don't have any flashes of "language" just a pretty much permanent feeling something is not quite right in my consciousness... Again, i did feel like that in the past already but i hate it.

One last thing: i noticed that if i do something even slightly interesting that feeling goes or maybe i just forget about it, until later i start thinking "hey i haven't felt that for a little while !" and then "obiously" that very thought (re)induces that stupid feeling ! :-(

Thanks for your help !

 

[The Void]

Weird things happen all the time. I don't care anymore.
All excitement died away.
My will is dead. All that remains is basic survival stuff, even that is not so strong.
Some months ago, I saw, some white sparkling things floating the air,
some nights, I feel some liquid jelly stuff rise to the back of my head, inducing intense
feelings,
strange thing happens all the time, whatever little desire I feel, gets fullfilled, but i am bored, nothing excites me,
yet everything excites me in some sense,

we know nothing,
we only have some vague frame of referrence, judging your experience of your state from that vague frame of referrence is of no use,
the mind keeps of trying to explain and make stories, it tries to associate, pre-heard words and stuffs with experience, it then seeks for validation,
all pointless...


in the end....
it all just happens....

 

[pernoctator]

All that remains is basic survival stuff, even that is not so strong.
Some months ago, I saw, some white sparkling things floating the air,
some nights, I feel some liquid jelly stuff rise to the back of my head, inducing intense
feelings,
strange thing happens all the time, whatever little desire I feel, gets fullfilled, but i am bored, nothing excites me,
yet everything excites me in some sense,

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a jellyfish.