The Terrified Thinking Teddy Bear

[Duxwing]

Despite feeling like a lonely swordsman striking out against the Void each time that I wake up, I can still conjure up an image that never fails to warm my heart-- even if only slightly. It's that of a girl I like resting her head on my shoulder, cheek cuddled against my arm. When I think of it, I feel warmth and a gentle, prickly fuzziness in my belly. If no-one is around, I might say "Awww, how sweet" to myself.

Then, upon serious consideration of such activity:

My Conscience: Is this how you get your sick kicks?
Me: Aw, come on, you know it would be sweet and warm.
My Conscience: Let me put it to you this way, does the thought of a random member of Homo Sapiens rubbing their face onto your limb sound pleasurable to you?
Me: *gag* *shudder* No!
My Conscience: Then stay away from her, you freaky creep. Who knows what you'll end up doing.
Me: *sigh* It would have been fun, but you're right, it's unjustifiable.

As you can see, having my affection brutally crushed time after time--by my own conscience, no less-- is unpleasant. Indeed, somewhere out there, I'm sure that Freud is rolling over in his grave grumbling "Catharsis! Relief! Release!" but I can provide none of these. I am a terrified thinking teddy bear, and I could use some help in resolving this issue.

Is there a way that I can both love and not be Absurd?

-Duxwing

 

[Tony3d]

How well do you know this girl?

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

My Conscience: Then stay away from her, you freaky creep. Who knows what you'll end up doing.
Me: *sigh* It would have been fun, but you're right, it's unjustifiable.

Interesting statement from your conscience. What, exactly, do you think about? Unjustifiable... or reprehensible? Why?

 

[DeadonDreaming]

Girls are not for snuggling.

 

[Etheri]

Can you recreate this same idea of cuddling with diffrent girls? Is it truly person specific?

I have likewise ideas in my mind, illusions that feed me whenever I cannot get the real thing right there and then. Nothing too bad, just fantasies, most of the time not even sexual. Truth is, these are very, very rarely condensed on one person. The concepts, which are much like your story of snuggling, is rather constant. However, the subject changes even on a daily basis. (Lets say there's 4 at the very moment, each projections of real people, and none of them enjoy any specific absolute favour, tho obviously I think diffrent of each.)

Also, relax. There's nothing wrong with you, and you're not doing anything wrong. Stop having a conscience.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Also, relax... you're not doing anything wrong. Stop having a conscience.

I wish someone told me this more often.

 

[Duxwing]

Can you recreate this same idea of cuddling with diffrent girls? Is it truly person specific?

I have likewise ideas in my mind, illusions that feed me whenever I cannot get the real thing right there and then. Nothing too bad, just fantasies, most of the time not even sexual. Truth is, these are very, very rarely condensed on one person. The concepts, which are much like your story of snuggling, is rather constant. However, the subject changes even on a daily basis. (Lets say there's 4 at the very moment, each projections of real people, and none of them enjoy any specific absolute favour, tho obviously I think diffrent of each.)

Also, relax. There's nothing wrong with you, and you're not doing anything wrong. Stop having a conscience.

I feel like a computer program; yes, I can reproduce the results on most any girl I find attractive on both the physical, intellectual, and emotional levels. However, I tend to have a 'favorite' for a while-- not quite a crush, but just some warm and fuzzy feelings. And the images are not so much a substitute as an experience unto itself: much like a good romance novel playing out in my head.

As for not having a conscience, my conscience is the only thing holding back my inner maelstrom of rampaging violent and perverted sexual impulses-- a maelstrom that I rule with an iron fist, and hence, my endless neurotic philosophizing and terror in the face of romance.

-Duxwing

 

[SpaceYeti]

Do you get a boner? Your story gave me a boner.

Can I be the official forum troll? I could add "fag" or "your mom" to this post, if you want.

Your mom's boner is a fag!

 

[Tony3d]

Dude, just go find the girl, walk up to her and say. "hey, I like you, we should hand out sometime."

Don't face her completly when you say it though, turn your body 45 degrees and make eye contact. Then after you say it, just turn around and walk away.

Just do it.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

As for not having a conscience, my conscience is the only thing holding back my inner maelstrom of rampaging violent and perverted sexual impulses-- a maelstrom that I rule with an iron fist, and hence, my endless neurotic philosophizing and terror in the face of romance.

You can partake in what you wish without conscience interference in one of two ways: A deep relationship with that singluar someone who actually consents to such things, or Craigslist. I prefer the latter.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

Dude, just go find the girl, walk up to her and say. "hey, I like you, we should hand out sometime."

Don't face her completly when you say it though, turn your body 45 degrees and make eye contact. Then after you say it, just turn around and walk away.

Just do it.

Who does this? Thats creepy.

 

[Tony3d]

Who does this? Thats creepy.

You are creepy.

There is nothing wrong with approaching someone, stating your intentions, and then walking away showing that you are interested but not needy in any way.

If you did it and then stood there and stared giving her your full attention with your body language, then it would in fact be akward, because she would have to start figuring a good way out of the situation because she has a needy guy in front of her, and girls hate needy guys.

It is a whole lot better than dreaming about a girl you don't have the guts to actually make things happen with.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

You are creepy.

There is nothing wrong with approaching someone, stating your intentions, and then walking away showing that you are interested but not needy in any way.

If you did it and then stood there and stared giving her your full attention with your body language, then it would in fact be akward, because she would have to start figuring a good way out of the situation because she has a needy guy in front of her, and girls hate needy guys.

It is a whole lot better than dreaming about a girl you don't have the guts to actually make things happen with.

You have intentions?

Why do you want to "hang out"?

Going up to some random and saying "Hey, you want to hang out?" is going to get you tazered.

 

[Tony3d]

You have intentions?

Why do you want to "hang out"?

Going up to some random and saying "Hey, you want to hang out?" is going to get you tazered.

Do you want to bet?

I can guarantee you I can get a phone number from over 50%.

Only 50% of those will answer, but that is still 25%.

 

[Cognisant]

Going up to some random and saying "Hey, you want to hang out?" is going to get you tazered.

I get a buzz out of it.

Seriously though there's no right way of going about this, there's just the quick way and the long and convoluted way, the former being just asking a girl out or for her number, the worse that'll happen is rejection, you just have to take a cup of cement and harden up, the latter is putting all thoughts of any other kind of relationship out of your mind and pursue a friendship with her, i.e. "I like fun, you like fun, let's do fun stuff together" (you don't actually say that) and then develop the friendship into more with time and commitment.

The former is so much easier.

Or you can give up on women for a while, focus on other stuff, develop yourself, have fun, once you've worked yourself into some kind of ideal lifestyle women will be compelled to ruin it for you, there's just nothing more abhorrent to nature than a happily single man, except maybe an absolute vacuum, but even then it's a close thing.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

Or you can give up on women for a while, focus on other stuff, develop yourself, have fun, once you've worked yourself into some kind of ideal lifestyle women will be compelled to ruin it for you, there's just nothing more abhorrent to nature than a happily single man, except maybe an absolute vacuum, but even then it's a close thing.

Exactly. Just do your own thing, why do you have to ask anyone to "hang out"? Women will come to make your life complicated naturally. All these intentions and trying to make friendships relationships make DeadonDreaming sadder than a fat girl without cake.

I also think walking up to random people and talking to them is creepy. Reminds me of a salesperson trying to sell me something I don't want.

In the words of catz, purity and abstinence.

 

[pernoctator]

Mr. Conscience is being unfair. If he expects you to disregard emotional considerations, he has no right to call you a freaky creep either.

 

[Duxwing]

You can partake in what you wish without conscience interference in one of two ways: A deep relationship with that singluar someone who actually consents to such things, or Craigslist. I prefer the latter.

Although a sadistic person (not trying to call anyone names, just making this clear) would enjoy inflicting pain, my impulses promise no pleasure. They're just urges... horrifying urges. I try to keep them out of sight and out of mind, but when they appear, much like Jack's gang in Lord of the Flies, they grotesque horror unless forcibly put down.

Interesting statement from your conscience. What, exactly, do you think about? Unjustifiable... or reprehensible? Why?

@thehabitatdoctor It's unjustifiable due to Godel's theorem, and unjustifiable activity is reprehensible; however, the second statement is arguable, and perhaps I'm worried over nothing.

Dude, just go find the girl, walk up to her and say. "hey, I like you, we should hand out sometime."

Don't face her completly when you say it though, turn your body 45 degrees and make eye contact. Then after you say it, just turn around and walk away.

Just do it.

@Tony3d

I don't want to hang out with her, though; it's just this image in my head that crops up from time to time and gives my conscience a chance to get a few punches in. I don't really make "friends" easily... I can certainly 'charm' or be 'witty' with someone, but there's rarely ever a connection. I don't think that I'll ever make one.

-Duxwing

 

[Tony3d]

I don't want to hang out with her, though; it's just this image in my head that crops up from time to time and gives my conscience a chance to get a few punches in. I don't really make "friends" easily... I can certainly 'charm' or be 'witty' with someone, but there's rarely ever a connection. I don't think that I'll ever make one.

-Duxwing

Yes you do...

You are just conflicted, and your fear of being too akward to be a good friend to her is letting your mind feed you false logic about what you do and don't want.

Seriously, just do what I said. If you don't really want her to be your friend you will have nothing at all to lose. But wouldn't you want to prove it to yourself that you could go up to her but just don't?

Just do it for the sake of knowing the truth, for the sake of experementing, for the sake of better logic.

In the end, regardless of the outcome, you will have a better grasp on the situation.

 

[Tony3d]

I also think walking up to random people and talking to them is creepy. Reminds me of a salesperson trying to sell me something I don't want.

Most non INTPs actually like having fun conversations with people, but are just too shy to go out and start one. So if you can be fun, but show you are not-needy then you going up and talking to them may very well make their day.

If you act to needy/clingy, like you are going to keep trying to talk to them, that will creep them out. But if you act like you could walk away at any moment because you have other things to do, not only will they feel more comfortable, but they will start to make and effort to earn your attention so you don't leave.

As an INTP I could have never figured this out except by studying and observing people and applying the logic into an internal system in my head. The fact is, it gets me a little bit closer to my goals, and in the end...

Logic always comes before introversion, so I will fake being an extrovert when the logic suits it.

Also, you're creepy dude...

 

[SpaceYeti]

You have intentions?

Why do you want to "hang out"?

Going up to some random and saying "Hey, you want to hang out?" is going to get you tazered.

... Where do you live? Dude, asking a girl if she wants to hang out is basically a chill way of asking her out, everyone knows it, she'll say yes.

Unless she's not interested. It's not complicated.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Although a sadistic person (not trying to call anyone names, just making this clear) would enjoy inflicting pain, my impulses promise no pleasure. They're just urges... horrifying urges. I try to keep them out of sight and out of mind, but when they appear, much like Jack's gang in Lord of the Flies, they grotesque horror unless forcibly put down.

Interesting.

It's my understanding and my experience that following an existential crisis, one tends to resort to anomie and further embrace, or re-embrace nihilism. The conclusions gained from this process are then incorporated into one's existing absurdist understanding. Perhaps it's time to make room for two types of love in your life, one traditionally-monogamous-true-romantic-love, the other... special.

:smiley_emoticons_mr

The path to wisdom and self-awareness can be... interesting.

 

[Duxwing]

Interesting.

It's my understanding and my experience that following an existential crisis, one tends to resort to anomie and further embrace, or re-embrace nihilism. The conclusions gained from this process are then incorporated into one's existing absurdist understanding. Perhaps it's time to make room for two types of love in your life, one traditionally-monogamous-true-romantic-love, the other... special.

:smiley_emoticons_mr

The path to wisdom and self-awareness can be... interesting.

I can't really say I'd want to beat the living daylights out of people for pleasure. It seems wrong... Beyond that, the screams of my empathy in response to their agony would be too much to bear. And yet, I remember singing "bones and guts fly everywhere, everywhere, everywhere / bones and guts fly everywhere, my fair lady" while raining artillery down on virtual soldiers when I was ten.

-Duxwing

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I can't really say I'd want to beat the living daylights out of people for pleasure. It seems wrong... Beyond that, the screams of my empathy in response to their agony would be too much to bear. And yet, I remember singing "bones and guts fly everywhere, everywhere, everywhere / bones and guts fly everywhere, my fair lady" while raining artillery down on virtual soldiers when I was ten.

-Duxwing

If they enjoy it, is it still wrong?

 

[Duxwing]

If they enjoy it, is it still wrong?

Nothing's ever inherently wrong; I thought that you were asking for my feelings, not my thoughts.

-Duxwing